we threw ourselves into it, when we could, with the force of a fist through our sternums: we told ourselves that because one night we’d no longer have the energy to live, for right now, we would grab onto life with all of our teeth and rip whole lifetimes from single moments.
someone once told me that i recover from bad things faster than anyone else. i didn’t know how to explain that i live a balance beam, that i cannot afford to let bad days get to me. bad days don’t stay bad days if they find their way into my blood stream, they become bad weeks, bad months, bad years, bad mornings spent in weariness, bad nights soaked in insomnia.
i live the red life, splash ecstatic, hang out of windows, rev the engine. i live it because any morning might be the last morning i feel anything.