portugal. the baby

Countries qualified for the ESC 2017 final

Armenia: 6 armed woman

Australia: kid looking much older, 80% eyebrow

Austria: dreamworks kid, feel old yet?

Azerbaijan: woman singing to a man on a ladder with a horse head

Belarus: cute adventurous people on a boat, making everyone dance

Belgium: awesome studio performance, looking a lil uncomfortable live

Bulgaria: this kiddo is going places

Croatia: personality disorder

Cyprus: probably getting bullied by his background dancers

Denmark: woman in red dress, lots of fireworks

France: gotta make sure everyone knows we’re from france

Germany: titanium

Greece: yaoi shipping

Hungary: man bun but a cool jacket

Israel: wink one more time please

Italy: man who can light up an entire continent with his smile, dancing gorilla

Moldova: a legend has returned

Netherlands: the girl squad

Norway: i think my television broke

Poland: what’s up with all the wedding dresses?

Portugal: precious beautiful baby. Protect at all costs

Romania: pop/rap/yodeling, graphic background design is my passion

Spain: surfer dudes invading eurovision

Sweden: looking hella fine and knows it

UK: lowkey rickrolling all of europe

Ukraine: giant head… ya why not?


Give them a ball, a tiny trash can and sit them around a table… and watch the children play 😂😂

Hetavision 2017
  • Portugal: *gives his presidentship in the 'Never-won-Eurovision club' over to his second-in-command Iceland* *skips out, screaming of happiness*
  • Iceland: *sights* I knew this day would come...
  • *meanwhile*
  • Italians: ... Namaste
  • Me: ALE
  • Italians: *smiles to me*
  • *meanwhile*
  • Bulgaria: *happy for second, but cries into Romania's shoulder*
  • Romania: You deserved to win, baby... Portugal didn't deserve it.
  • Portugal: *doesn't listen to Romania*
  • Bulgaria: no, he deserved it.
  • Romania: but you deserved it more!
  • *meanwhile*
  • Sweden: Thanks Wife and Denmark for the 12 points.
  • Finland: *smiles* you deserved it
  • Denmark: *slightly drunk* NO PROB, BRO SWEDEN!
  • Norway: *clearly drunk and hyper* I GOT A HIGHER PLACING THAN YOU DENMARK
  • Denmark: W H A T?!
  • Germany: *also drunk* *and is crying* Your welcome *sobs*
  • Spain: *drunkest of them all* Shut the fuck up, all of you.