Ya’ll thought I was done didn’t you?! Well too bad because my finals are fast approaching and I need something to help me forget my crippling anxiety about passing. Remember-I don’t do the usual suspects so here we go!
Listen up you thirsty chicks this nation is all about being a gentleman and more so than that British wanker! Despite his size, fair complexion, upbringing and siblings this lumbering nation is all about stopping the world to spend time with you (within reason-the guy needs to keep working to afford the good stuff!) Constantly given work by his boss and trying to keep his dignified persona Luxembourg is one of the most eloquent speakers under Austria (number one reigning champ) with Maccu (respective third) quietly stepping onto his coattails so you’ll never get tired of hearing this nation’s voice unlike SOME nations I could name. Truly there will be times where you feel miffed that the young nation hasn’t been around to hang, communicate or go out on a date in several months’ time but Luxembourg always makes up for it by saving his pennies and time (much like his big brother Netherlands) for the big occasions like birthdays and some major holidays. Missed Christmas because his boss put him on overtime? You can bet your sweet ass that Valentine’s Day will be one that you’ll remember. Missed your birthday? You know somewhere in the next week or so after you’ll be whisked away on a extravagant date. On those few hours that Luxembourg gets off to physically spend time with you he’ll make sure all his time and attention is on you. He’ll spend those fleeting moments asking about you and your feelings and Jesus Christ this guy is just so patient and well dressed! This man will literally sit there for hours listening to you talk without complaint because he loves listening to his girlfriend in close proximity. And while he may have an issue when it comes to physically touching his girlfriend (hand-holding, hugging, kissing) whether it’s because he’s being a gentleman or he’s just unsure of himself just remember to go slow. Like his older brother Luxembourg is all about going all in. Luxembourg is all about evening the scales to make everything fair but for his girlfriend he’ll do his best to tip it her way, even if it’s in the smallest of ways. Such examples of these can be noted by having whatever drink she likes at her favorite joint being readily prepared and prepaid for by him, little expenses covered monthly (phone, internet, rent and the like), and short videos sent by him. Honestly, I think the only thing that makes him a bit of a weird boyfriend is how he obtains pictures of his girlfriend for his blog when they rarely see each other. Other than that enjoy this graceful, dignified, gentleman among gentlemen and their pretenders *cough* ENGLAND*cough* because Luxembourg will (try) to put the world at your feet.
Jesus Christ you got one insecure boyfriend on your hands when it comes to Portugal. This handsome Spaniard bastard is all about proving that he’s better than that doppelganger Spain in all ways but more importantly to you. Some common phrases that you’ll hear as his girlfriend are: “I’m so much better off than that perdedor Antonio” despite the fact that his economic problems are on par with Spain’s, “I can definitely fix that for you!” ignoring the fact that he’s pretty unskilled, followed closely by, “I’m far more handsome than Spain-how does anyone keep mixing us up?!” Really, this poor guy is trying to sell himself constantly to his girlfriend because he’s that paranoid that somehow she’ll mistake him for Spain or decide that Antonio’s far kinder than he is. When other nations are around Portugal will become obnoxiously possessive and loud about how much he does and what a great girlfriend he has to anyone dumb enough to not steer clear. At this point he’ll become handsy (not that you’ll mind because hot damn this bastard is fine) but once all perceived competitors are gone he will try to apologize for it-but will mostly cite it’s because “Your too cute for your own good so I have to make sure no one tries to steal you from me!” In fact if you’ve ever spent the night at his place (or anywhere within a 5 mile radius) you’ll bear wittiness to one of his nightmares not unlike what sounds like some sort of Spanish soap opera drama complete with yelling in Spanish and grabby hands movement. There are times when this boyfriend loses sleep because man oh man-he may have his looks but when it comes to progress based on the current world’s scale he has none. Hell, the guy’s lucky he has some dirt on Antonio or else nothing would ever get done in his nation. So while Portugal can’t do some of the big flashy things like America, Japan or Finland he does know how to be a great homebody. Like most of the older nations Portugal does exceptionally well at it and for his girlfriend he’ll definitely lend a hand if she asks for it. He’ll cook, dance and sing but if you plan to tease him about Spain being better than him please do so in VERY small amounts so he won’t go into some kind of crazy “make myself seem more appealing by either belittling to the point of tears or trying to disfigure the competition. I’m being serious-do NOT DO IT ANYMORE THAN YOU WOULD LIKE TO HEAR ABOUT YOURSELF. Portugal just can’t handle the constant comparison and really, why would you do it? No one likes having it done to themselves. So recap: very insecure boyfriend that needs to be told almost daily that yes, you love him and not Spain, no, you didn’t trick me into being your girlfriend by looking like Spain and for the final time already you love him so stop the questions and just kiss the fool already!
Hey baby, this boyfriend is all about showing you a good time. Meet one of the most hardworking boyfriends’ (next to Switzerland, Sweden and Netherlands-actually Netherlands is more of a hustler but I digress) you’ll ever hope to meet. Kind, down to earth, laid back and unique nature makes Mexico a sought after man in the boyfriend department. First off he won’t ever sell you short and definitely won’t let you do it either! “What do you mean you think you’re ugly? I think you’re the most hermosa mujer in all of Mexico” and “Of course you can do that climb amorcito-you’re the strongest girl I know!” are things that you’ll most commonly hear as his girlfriend. Jose may have a bit of a sarcastic nature toward most of his visitors but he does everything in his power to make sure nothing but positives are directed at his girlfriend. And the funny thing is if Jose thinks he’s done a misstep (it happens on occasion when you don’t automatically share in his humor, makes a snide remark for your benefit or is just being his usual self around the other nations) you’ll have this nation literally trying to appease you (and usually at the most inopportune times like weddings, graduations, at the mall, at the waterpark, etc.) For the love of all things holy DO NOT LET HIM GO ON FOR LONG WHEN IT COMES TO GROVELING FOR FORGIVINESS! The man may be a proud Mexican but he ain’t too proud to beg if it keeps his chava in his life. I’m not kidding-this guy will seriously consider some messed up shit. All that smack he likes to talk about other nations is nothing in comparison to the things he will do to convince you to stick around. But in with those tiny blips of crazy for Jose he’s the kind of boyfriend that can go either way. You want to be a homebody and sit around in your pajamas? He’s down for that! You want to go outside and get all hot and sweaty in the desert? Sure, he’ll get the camel backpacks ready! There’s honestly nothing that Jose isn’t down for when he doesn’t has his boss breathing down his neck. He’ll show you all the colors of his country and then some-from the beaches, culture, and beat of his nation-nothing is off limits to his girlfriend. Jose will be teaching her Spanish at almost every opportunity to get her more in in tune with his country with not so subtle hints on getting dual citizenship. Whatever pace his girlfriend sets Jose is sure to follow unless he knows that she can do better. This boyfriend is all about showing how great his girlfriend is to the nations at large and more importantly to herself. So get out there with this glorious (if not blunt) boyfriend and show the world what you both got!