So one of my best friends in the world visited me in Colorado. 

My heart has no words for the love I feel for her. She is my couch potato, tequila drinking partner in crime. We watch marathons of walking dead, drink wine together, share stories only we can understand and not judge one another for and make fun of each other in the most harmless of ways. She just gets me in a way a lot of other people don’t and I truly appreciate everything she has ever done for me like getting on a plane with severe flight anxiety to see me not one but multiple times. 

I la you. 

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.