porch parties


Man you guys are gonna love me. I have one porch for you all, BUT there are several photographs. This porch/deck was submitted by a coworker and he also sent over some great stats like square footage. We’re gonna simulate movement of a party guest through this porch into (did you notice?) A SECONDARY PATIO. First off, I’m calling this a porch, but you can call it a deck too. Porch deck potato potato.

Lets go over some hot specs/stats on this baby first.
- 300 sq ft deck (built 2013)
- 200 sq ft patio with fire pit (built sometime between 1963 and 2007)
- 3 locking gates on deck to control access for kids, pets and strangers
- railing is designed to minimize child escape.
- 3rd seating area in the back yard if you want to consider the large fire pit a seating area (I absolutely do)
- deck has 2 dedicated seating areas in addition to plenty of space for kids toys/bikes
- has hosted many parties with no reported fatalities and minimal injuries
- house is on a mountain so there is a slight drop off and makes the deck feel like a treehouse (FRICKIN SOLD DUDE)
- At any time you can hear from the nearby high school or wetlands a HS Football/Baseball game, trains, frogs, or airplanes from the local airport which make a thunder sound in the valley.

Ok, first picture, we see the run up to the porch. I’m very encouraged to see (1) tiki torch and (2) potted plants in different sized pots (this is very important, symmetry is not necessary on these more woodland porches. We’re not about to hold a wedding or a funeral out here. This porch is all business for working folk. Also whats that I spy in the distance? A table with an umbrella!? Very impressive, rain protection is so important. Also it provides protection against any bird droppings or acorns from the nearby trees so smart move on the part of the porchowner.

Second picture, we get the whole ballgame. I’m spying dos kids bikes and they fit very comfortably on the porch which means the porch has great parking. I also don’t see a ticket on any of the bikes so lax parking enforcement too. Since the house is on a mountain in the woods you know those bikes aren’t getting stolen. Let’s talk about lighting for a quick minute. Porch lighting is a key demarcation between a porch that is merely good, versus truly great. Porch lighting should create a mystical yet homey feel. Christmas lights are absolutely encouraged. In this case we get lightbulbs strung in what appears to be a fashion an electrician might have slight issue with. I approve. This is the kind of deck that GETS BETTER when the sun sets. Just think about that. You’re out there with your friends having a good ole time, but wait! Oh no! The sun is setting and existential terror sets in. Hold the damn phone, we’ve got lightbulbs.

Third picture, we get a great look at the stone and grass patio. I don’t know if you all have noticed yet, but I’m a big fan of multiple GOSA’s (general outdoor seating areas) on one house. Options are super important. Also I spy a firepit. Firepits are paramount as they function as beacons to move guests off your porch or deck and onto the patio. Its like Lord of the Rings when Aragorn goes mountain climbing to light the beacons and all the Rohirrim show up at Minas Tirith. The only difference is in this case you just need to move your friends about 15-20 feet in one direction (thats about as difficult, especially your coworker Big Mike, he tends to post up a lot. Mike’s also the guy that drinks mike’s hard lemonade because his name is Mike, so shout outs to him).

Speaking of alcohol its time to recommend a drink for this porch/patio combo. My coworker told me he’s had the most success with an “an ice-cold fresh-made michelada.” Sign me up.

All in all I give this porch a 9/10. This is a Great Porch. I have also been invited over to this porch to do a field test of the chairs and other porch amenities and I will absolutely report back.

Next post coming on Monday! If you have porch questions or submissions hit me up over at https://twitter.com/porchrates

Take Me Home

Pairing: Isaac Lahey x Reader (WOC)
Word Count: 2k+
Warning: Angst, smut, alcohol mention, drugs mention, unprotected sex (WRAP YOUR WILLY BEFORE YOU DILLY)

Inspiration: “Take Me Home” ~ Jess Glynne

“Came to you with a broken faith,
Gave me more than a hand to hold
Caught before I hit the ground
Tell me I’m safe, you’ve got me now

Could you take care of a broken soul?
Oh, will you hold me now?
Oh, will you take me home?”

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Hey guys so this is part 1! I promise ill update more. I’m leaving for Korea in the morning so bare with me. Thanks so much for the support but once i come back i’ll update again


Genre: Slight angst, Dom!Kihyun Sub!Kihyun, Smut (a good amount of it), romance.

       Kihyun laid on his bed thinking about what had just happened in his kitchen. This always happened to him, everytime you would come over or when he was at your apartment it always ended with him having the most amazing sex with you. He would lay in his bed and think about you, about how your hands felt as they left scratch marks on his back or how they felt wrapped around his throbbing cock. To say he loved it was an understatment to say the least. He was despreate for your touch but he was also desperate for your presence. Kihyun thought about how you both met and couldn’t help but smile.

-10 years ago-

“y/n! Come say hello to my friends.” Rolling your eyes you rolled off the bed. You hated when your mom made you go and say hello to her friends. They always said the same thing “Aw your so cute!” “You look just like your mother.” Or your favorite “You must have all the boys in your class head over heels for you.” It was annoying and a little off putting. You really could care less about the boys in your class or even in your school. They were all gross to you.

 Walking downstairs you saw your mom talking to a woman that looked around her age. “Oh y/n, good you’re here this is my old roommate from college.” You looked at her friend and smiled, she smiled back at you and shook your hand.

“It’s nice to meet you.” she pulled her hand back and looked back at your mother. “Glad she didn’t get your looks that would have been a shame.” You couldn’t help but chuckle when she said that. Your mom had a shocked expression on her face.

“Wow I see your sarcasim hasn’t changed.” You liked this woman she wasn’t like your moms other friends.

“Mom the movers want you to sign the papers.” You heard someone say from the door. Peeking around your moms friend you saw a boy who was a little on the short side standing at the door. He was cute sort of that typical boy next door kind of cute. He wore a plain black t-shirt and some jeans that had paint all over them with black and white chucks on. ‘Yup typical boy next door look.’ you thought to yourself.

“Okay I’ll be there in a second. This is my son Kihyun, Kihyun come say hello.” Stepping in the house Kihyun walked up to you and your mom.

“Hello.” He greeted with a wave.

“This is y/n, she goes to the same school your going to be going to.” His mom said and you just nodded. He smiled at you and you were surprised at how nice his smile was.

“I can show you around on monday if you would like.”

“I’d like that.” he said then both him and his mother left your house to go finish doing what they had to do.

“He’s cute right?” Your mom nudged your arm.

“Don’t get any ideas mom.” You said as you walked away from her and back into your room.

You found out on monday that you were a year older than him so you didn’t have any classes with him but that was alright with you. He had made friends immidetly, so the walk to school and back was really the only time you hung out with him. The years passed by and you and Kihyun became close like brother and sister. You never saw him in that light and he never saw you as anything other then your sister.

Before you knew it you were a senior and it was graduation day. Your parents threw you a graduation party inviting everyone. Your friends were there having a good time and so were you but you just weren’t that into it. You noticed Kihyun walking up to where you were hiding yourself from the rest of the party.

“Is cinderella running out of her own party?” He asked leaning against the chair infront of you. He looked amazing that night, a pair of nice dress pants and a pale blue button up that fit his lean frame.

“Haha you’re so funny Kiki.” you smiled at the nickname you gave him, he on the other hand didn’t really care for it.

“So what’s eating you? Why are we keeping ourselves hidden in the corner of your own party?” He sat down in the chair opposite of you. As sharp as his mouth is he still was one of the most caring people you ever met.

Sighing you leaned your back on the chair letting your hrad fall back, “I don’t know like this is just weird for me.” Lifting your head so you could look at him. “You know I don’t do well with change Kihyun.”

“Is that what you’re worried about?” He scooted closer to you and grabbed your hands. “Nothing will change. In a year I’ll come meet up with you at the same college and save you from that sad life you will live okay?”

That made you smile, he always made you smile. You were going to miss your best friend. “I know but I dont know it just feels weird you know?” He could still sense your uncertency about everything and made you stand up.

“Don’t think about and come dance with us okay?” He pulled you to the dance floor where you greeted by friends and family alike.

Soon the summer passed and it was time for you to go move into the dorms at your out of state college. Putting the last box in the truck you looked back at your house and shoved your hands in the pockted of the jeans you were wearing.

“It’s gonna be weird not walking to school with you any more.” You heard a voice say behind you, Looking over your shoulder you saw Kihyun standing there holding a small present. “Here a little going away gift for you.” He handed you the small wrapped box. Looking at him then looking at the box you slowly opened it and say it was a necklace with a small crystal attached to it.

“It’s a healing crystal, I know you like that kind of stuff.” he smiled when he saw your eyes widen.

“Kihyun, thank you so much I love it!” Pulling him into a hug. You felt his arms wrap around you giving a litte squeeze. He buried his face in your shoulder and whispered something into that you held onto for a long time.

“I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too.”

Those were the last words you both said to each other in person. You went off to college, at first you texted each other every day. But slowly the texts went from every day to a few times a week to once a week, then to once a month then only on your birthdays then nothing at all. Life had caught up with you and it did the same for him. He never went to the same college as you and you were busy with classes and papers you forgot about it too.

At 22 you graduated with a degree in history and were working on getting your teaching liscence. You always wanted to teach high school students and history was a passion of yours. And three years later here you were teaching a class all your own. You loved every minute of it, and your kids loved you too.

“Hey y/n!” Looking up from your desk you saw your friend Gina at the doorway of your classroom.

“Hey Gi what’s up?” Looking at her you put the papers you were marking away giving Gina your attention.

“It’s friday and I wanted to know if you were up to go to this party with me?” She asked as she sat herself in one of the student’s desks’. You loved Gina she was the best friend anyone could ask for, but she was a party animal. She still kept in touch with people on her old schools campus and knew when the frat’s were having parties.

“Sure I havent been out in a while.”

“Oh good. I’ll pick you at 9 okay.” getting up to leave you just nodded your head and told her to text you when she was outside.

Before you knew it, you were walking up the stairs to a frat house. People were haning put on the porch, the party seemed to have spilt out of the house.

“This is a pretty big party Gina.” You said as you followed her through the crowd of people.

“Well this is there biggest party of the year. Plus finals just finished this week.” She shrugged pulling you to the kitchen. “You never partied in college?” She pulled one of those red solo cups from the pile and poured you a drink.

“I did when I was dating this one asshole but not since then.” Taking a sip of your drink you looked around the crowd of people. Some were playing beer pong, dancing or just talking to friends.

“Oh that guy. I remember you telling me about him.” shacking her head she too took a sip of her drink as well. Just the thought of your ex made you want to throw up. He was a class A assshole. He liked to show you off to his friends as if you were a trophy. At fisrt it was cute but then it became a little bit too much for you. His ideal of a woman was she needs to be dumb, serve him like he is a king and speak only when spoken too. After that you told yourself you were done with the men. Being alone was fine with, you still had your ocassional one night stands cause at the end of the day you still had neededs. You were fine with being friends with benefits, but they always wanted more.

“Gina!” Looking you saw a guy push past people and grab Gina in a hug.

“Oh my goodness! Changkyun!!” She looked at you with a smile from ear to ear. “y/n! This is Changkyun, he was my best friend when we went to school.”

“Hello Changkyun I’m y/n.” You shook his hand.

“Nice to meet you.” He smiled showing off his dimples. 'He’s cute.’ You thought as you pulled your hand away.

“Come me and my friends are in the back.”

You and gina followed him through the house and out the backdoor. “Guys this is Gina the one I told you about and her friend y/n” Before you could even say hello someone interrupted you.


Its Monday and you know what that means, its porchtime (trust me this sounded very dramatic in my head). I’ve got a hot new porch for you today. I bet you’re thinking, okay I’ve seen two porches out of this guy and I bet he’s never gonna get personal about porches. Well jokes on you. If you didn’t think that, well then that joke isn’t for you.

Anyway down to business. Today we have what appears to be either a back deck, front deck, front porch, or back porch. Thus I will christen this, the frontbackdeckporch (FBDP). Spoiler alert, I’m pretty sure this is a back deck.

Now we get personal, I was in the hunt for a deck that reminded me the most of my childhood decks of yore. Growing up, two different houses I lived at had great decks. They looked much like this one.

Here we see many classic deck elements. First off lets talk about real estate. Ton of boards, ton of space. You can grill out here, put a table with chairs, an outdoor couch, and park many children’s bicycles. You could even put a hammock out here! My dad put a hammock on our deck and aside from sleeping on it a lot one time a goat escaped off a local farm and slept in it. My Italian grandmother ended up trying to get the goat off the deck with a broom, didn’t work though. Eventually a local farmer came and captured the goat (after some effort).

Next, up lets talk railings. This is about as typical as railings get on decks. The most important factor on any deck railing is how wide the top of the railing is, I.E can you fit a drink comfortably on the railing without it falling off. I can’t stress how important this is to decks. Think to yourself and imagine a great deck, how can you have a great deck without a railing to deposit your drink! Especially when you’re home from college and your dad has you mow the lawn so you pop a smirnoff ice and set it on the railing and you take sips every few minutes. Tell me where else you’re gonna put that sugary tasty beverage?

Can we talk about that lattice work for a minute? One thing I’ve never understood is the cliche lattice work on decks. I totally get the intention, you want to keep woodland critters (I call them friends) from living under your deck. I think that’s a fine intention, but I wanna sell you on squirrels living under your deck. Much like a house or a car, you want a deck to have Character. Character is everything. That squirrel living under you deck is like local color! It’s like that guy in college who was friends with your roommates and didn’t live in your apartment, but he basically did. Ya know, That Guy.

Finally, we have the stairs. I’m of two minds with deck stairs. I totally understand a raised deck, especially when the house demands it, however deck stairs reduce accessibility and I’m not okay with that. Outdoor seating is a human right. If this blog blows up seriously that’s gonna be the t-shirt and sticker combo.

And now we’ve reached the end dear friends. What drink fits this porch? Considering I grew up in many working class neighborhoods in the northeast I’m going to say a beer, but not just any beer. Samuel Adams, but the original kind, no fussy microbrews. I just imagine my father and uncle drinking Sam Adams while they grilled on a porch similar to this one. It was before microbrew revolution really took off and Sam Adams was seen as the big new player on the scene. At least it felt that way to me as a kid in New England. I rate this deckporch, solid 7/10 for being the prototypical back deck.

Alright, next post comin’ at you Friday. Submit your porches or questions about outdoor seating to me at https://twitter.com/porchrates

Rose/Scorpius - ‘The A-Team”

For @evolution-of-magic

The A-Team - Ed Sheeran 

Scorpius walked outside, the doorknob was cold in his hand.  More snow was falling.  He wrapped his coat more tightly around him as he walked towards the edge of the Weasley’s porch.  Hugo’s belated birthday party was well underway, with all of them anxiously awaiting the next day, when they’d travel to visit Hugo’s Uncle Charlie in Norway.  Dragons over Christmas break.  It was everything a bunch of teenage wizards could hope for.      

He heard a scratching behind him and he jumped, turning towards the noise.  “Oh…hello…” he said uncertainly.  

Rose smirked and waved from behind the screen of her bedroom window.  “Oy, Scorpius.  Having fun?”  

He shrugged.  “I suppose…aren’t you cold?”  

She mirrored his shrug.  “I suppose. Care to come in and help me keep warm?””

He choked on an inhale.  “Rose…I…”  

She rolled her eyes.  “Joking.”  

Scorpius didn’t even want to think it, but it seemed she almost looked disappointed.  


Originally posted by koreanmusicfan

Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Angst

Words: 1.7k

The straight lines that unwind you

She does that little thing with her eyes that says

“We’re off soon,”


He was never her first love.

Love to her was snow white and fine grained, pretty particles beneath her fingertips that promised an escape. Love was the burn in her nose and blurry vision. Love was dancing in daydreams, away from reality, a white glove that held her tight under the palm, luring her into dizzy warmth that spreads through her veins and loosened her bones.

She was in love with the iron embrace of cocaine, and all he could do is watch as she was squeezed from the inside out.

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my mood is like those edits of songs where all you can hear is like mostly bass and its very echoey and is labelled like “sitting outside on the porch at a party hearing this in the background” but its caramelldansen

The most stereotypical things the types have said/done in my presence

ESTP: *opens trunk of car* Yeah, I’ve just got some of my extra fireworks back here.

ISTP: Did you want to see how this works? It’s actually pretty cool.

ESFP: I’m going there to party. They said there would be a party. Even if they cancel the party, I will show up on their porch and party.

ISFP: Yeah I think I’d really like to be a park ranger.

ESTJ: With the right amount of preparation, I can be quite spontaneous.

ISTJ: Let me just tell you, I’ve got so much homework, you wouldn’t believe. I just can’t wait to finish college. But yeah, until then I can’t make it to your event, sorry.

ESFJ: They were just jealous because I made the best macaroni salad. It was all anyone ate.

ISFJ: I don’t like Disney movies, there’s too much fantasy involved.

ENTP: *mercilessly trolls*

INTP: Do you want to hear this joke I found online? It’s about quantum physics.

ENFP: I just can’t decide. I’m so indecisive. I think. Well, maybe not that much. I can sometimes decide. Usually not though.

INFP: I just finished writing this song. It’s about the woods and stuff. I’ll play it for you.

ENTJ: If you’d just sit down with me, I could help you get up a budget. We’d fix all your financial issues.

INTJ: I’m just trying to help, but they always see it as criticism. If they’d just listen, the problem would be fixed. I just want to fix the problem.

ENFJ: What’s the ethical solution? Well, that’s very simple, you see. *explains in endless detail*

INFJ: I don’t want to go, but I don’t want them to think I don’t like them. I mean, I don’t. I don’t want them to know that, though. Ugh, I wish I could just cancel. But, I shouldn’t.

// cool mix for long drives. always hold the hands of the ones you love.

01. pap smear - crystal castles / / 02. it all feels right - washed out / / 03. if only - mmoths / / 04. prettyboy - dan deacon / / 05. old home - all there / / 06. skinny ghost - happy trendy / / 07. what is dead may never die - deer leap / / 08. co-lateral - roya weidman / / 09. daddies - porches. / / 10. in my dream we’re almost touching - ricky eat acid / / 11. green aisles - real estate / / 12. woe be - feist / / 13. crosses - jose gonzalez / / 14. let’s talk about spaceships - say hi to your mom / / 15. fall creek boys choir (w/ bon iver) - james blake / / 16. stumble pretty - infinity crush / / 17. cold nites - how to dress well / / 18. when you wake up ill be gone little cat - heroin party / / 19. rory - foxing

listen on 8tracks

ok admittedly i’m a recluse who gets stressed out by parties but 

what is with this trope in shows and stuff where a house party involves a bunch of people dancing in place on someones back porch or something

no party i’ve ever been to was like that

Two years ago I found an image of a kid with her hands covering her face. A seatbelt reached across her torso, riding up her neck and a mop of blonde hair stayed swept, for the moment, behind her ears. Her eyes seemed clear and calm but not blank, the road behind her seemed the same. I put myself in her seat then I played it all out in my head. The claustrophobia hits as the seatbelt tightens, preventing me from even leaning forward in my seat. the pressing on internal organs. I lean back and forward to release it. Then backwards and forward again. There it is—I got free. How much of my life has happened inside of a car? I wonder if the odds are that I’ll die in one. Knock on wood-grain. Shouldn’t speak like that. We live in cars in some cities, commuting across space either for our livelihood, or devouring fossil fuels for joy. It’s close to as much time as we spend in our beds, more for some. The first time I did shrooms, my manager had to come rescue me from Caltech’s ‘Trip Day.’

As I got into her car, I swear to God the aluminum center console in her Porsche truck looked like it was breathing, like the throat of something. On the freeway, leaving Pasadena, we spoke and I looked away, outside, at the wheels and tires of cars doing that optical illusion thing they do where it looks like they’re spinning backwards, which, according to Google, happens because our brains are assuming something completely wrong and showing it to us. Staring, I was transfixed by all the indicator lights oscillating and throbbing against the wind. We drove thru downtown LA headed west, flying on the same freeways I used to run outta gas on. Welcomed in by the perennial creatures, imperial palm trees and climbing vines living their lives out just off the shoulder. The feeling familiar enhanced, on the 10. I used to ride around in my sinewy crossover SUV, smoke and listen to rough mixes of my old shit before it came out, or whatever someone wanted to play when they hooked up their iPhone to the aux cord. A few years and few daily-drivers later I’m not driving much anymore.

It’s been a year since I moved to London, at the time of writing this, and there’s no practical reason to drive in this city. I ordered a GT3 RS and it’ll keep low miles out here but I guess it’s good to have in case of emergency :) Raf Simons once told me it was cliché, my whole car obsession. Maybe it links to a deep subconscious straight boy fantasy. Consciously though, I don’t want straight—a little bent is good. I found it romantic, sometimes, editing this project. The whole time I felt as though I was in the presence of a $16m McLaren F1 armed with a disposable camera. My memories are in these pages, places closeby and long ass-numbing flights away. Cruising the suburbs of Tokyo in RWB Porches. Throwing parties around England and mobbing freeways in four project M3S that I built with some friends. Going to Mississippi and playing in the mud with amphibious quads. Street-casting models at a random kung fu dojo out in Senegal. Commissioning life-size toy boxes for the fuck of it. Shooting a music video for fun with Tyrone Lebon, the genius giant. Taking a break/reconnaissance mission to Tulum, Mexico, enjoying some star visibility for a change. Recording in Tokyo, NYC, Miami, LA, London, Paris. Stopping in Berlin to witness Berghain for myself. Trading jewels and soaking in parables with the many-headed Brandon aka BasedGod in conversation. I wrote a story in the middle—It’s called “Godspeed.” It’s basically a reimagined part of my boyhood. Boys do cry, but I don’t think I shed a tear for a good chunk of my teenage years. It’s surprisingly my favorite part of life so far. Surprising, to me, because the current phase is what I was asking the cosmos for when I was a kid. Maybe that part had its rough stretches too, but in my rearview mirror it’s getting small enough to convince myself it was all good. And really though… It’s still all good.

This is Boys Don’t Cry and Blonde. First times. Worldwide.

—  Frank Ocean (Excerpt from Boys Don’t Cry Mag)
good hands

A birthday ficlet for @jaradel, in Marching Band AU verse. It refers back to Extra Practice. Happy birthday!

There ain’t no party like a marching band party. There’s frat parties, of course, but a marching band party is an animal all its own. Imagine all the crazy and all the loud music and alcohol abuse and bizarre party games, but give a good majority of the participants expensive musical instruments.

Things get wild.

Bitty makes his way through the swarm of people, nearly getting socked in the eye by a swinging trumpet as he goes. He mumbles a litany of “‘scuse me… so sorry… gotta get thru… excuse me!” that nobody acknowledges, and pads his way past Holster and Ransom before they try to rope him into their bizarre beatboxing competition. Finally, he creeps up the stairs and into his room, then eases out the window onto the Band Haus Official Reading Room.

He’s not alone out here.

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