I must learn to love the fool in me - the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries.
“I’m not sure,” she whispered, looking down to the ground, “I’m not even sure if I do miss him. I miss the memories, and I miss talking to him and the way he made me feel. But I still don’t know if miss him, you know?“
I like double texts and calls when I least
expect them. I like knowing that if I don’t
respond to your messages, you miss me
enough to message me again. I like good
morning texts and I like good night texts.
I like knowing you think of me from the
moment you wake up and in the moments
just before you sleep. To put it simply, I like
being cared for. It’s usually me that ends up
breaking myself for people who wouldn’t do
the same. I like cute paragraphs every once
in a while. I like cute gifts. A matching
bracelet or the same hoodie; to me it makes
our bond more special… I like actions. So
prove to me that I matter and come see me
even if we’re miles away. Prove to me that
I am something special and there isn’t a
thing you wouldn’t do to see me smile.
Love me the way I love you and I promise
I’ll never leave.
Excerpt from a book I will never write #38
Jenseternity / instagram
my heart is a house
but you didn’t knock
instead you broke in,
leaving the mirrors of my love shattered.
you ripped apart the ravishing art that hung on my walls, repainted me with infatuation
my rooms became burdened with regret
and my floors filthy with torment
i thought you would leave,
but instead you locked the doors
and barricaded me inside
my own home
I can’t quite get my hands on what I want
when it comes to you. Some days I break
down in prayer asking God to take you
away because loving you in silence hurts
a little too much. Some days I smile and
tell him how happy your existence makes
me. Some days I want to never hear your
voice again and some days the only thing
I want is to listen you talk. Some days I
want to say goodbye and make up my
mind to never talk to you again and some
days I wish you told me how scared you
were of losing me. Most days I pray for
your happiness before anyone else’s and
some days I put myself first and ask God
to set me free from this pain. Some days
I pour my heart out to him about the
future I see with you and some days the
harsh reality hits me and it pains me that
I’m the only one that feels this way.
Excerpt from a book I will never write #41
Jenseternity / instagram
Throughout my life I have met many different people. Some have noticed the gardens growing on my heart, each vine holding together what was once broken. Some have noticed the black holes hidden inside of me, finding their escape in my galaxy.