popular 1

anonymous asked:

I don't really have any friends and i'm so lonely and I really want to be your friend but you're way too cool and popular,,,

1) im not cool 2) the concept of popularity is dumb 3) we’re friends now

The three things that happen when a show unexpectedly discovers it has a popular gay ship

1. They ignore it while panicked efforts are made to heterosexualize the couple in question. An acceptable straight white love interest is rapidly shoe-horned into the narrative.

2. They decide to do something nice for their queer fans by introducing an entirely different gay romance that those fans had no previous interest in. This couple will quickly be sidelined.

3. They actually get the gay couple who are shipped by the fandom together. Then they kill one of them.

The one thing that never happens when a show unexpectedly discovers it has a popular gay ship

1. They realize they can take advantage of the scorching chemistry between the pair, slow-burn the romance and end the show by sending them off happily into the sunset.

from the directors that liked Harold and Kumar way too much comes a NEW teen comedy… *jump cuts to aerial view of high school, the footage of the camera moving towards it is sped up until it reaches a certain point, at which it starts scrolling at about normal speed* (guitar strumming and clapping music in the bg) dude did you hear about the party? teen2: no, i don’t usually attend parties because i’m not popular. teen 1: that’s ok but consider this: the girl named “Jessica Cotch” will be attending ths party (while this line is being uttered footage of an actress who is obviously about 25 years old is playing a high school student and it’s a shot of her walking down the hallway with DOF blur on teen boys checking her out behind her making an OOOOUUU face actually everyone is 25) 

teen2: oh wow! she is the hottest girl in our most beloved high school and coincidentally the one that i have lustful feelings for. it is truly amazing that i will never be able to attend this party and to get my penis involved with some lurid debauchery. sex sex sex alcohol cock cock cock. (music stops so you can hear him say “fuck dude” after smoking weed)

soc characters as popular tweets #1

kaz brekker: fun prank: put $10000 in an envelope and mail it to me

inej ghafa: everything is free if you can run fast enough

nina zenik: I hate when I try to order a salad and my mouth says, “I’ll have a double Quarter Pounder with Cheese.”

jesper fahey: Write the name of someone you hate on your body everyday in permanent marker, so no matter how you die they’ll become a suspect.

wylan van eck: yea i do crimes; i’m a real bad kid. they even got me for possession once *eyes roll back into head, everything in the room begins to float*

matthias helvar:  “Wow the club is really dead tonight,” I say as I sheath my sword and admire the enemies I have slain. “Bartender I would like an alcohol”

kuwei yul-bo: If you can “pray the gay away” can you “pray the gay onto someone”?

The ultimate Steven Universe conspiracy: 

In Greg the Babysitter, Vidalia’s babysitter can’t work because of a “death in the family” (which is revealed to be a hamster).

Vidalia also mentions that this babysitter is 12 years old at the time, which means they’re about 12-13 years older than Sour Cream. If Sour Cream is currently somewhere between 15-18, this would mean the babysitter is currently in their late 20s, early 30s. Most people in the show are either “parent age” (Greg, Vidalia, Mayor Dewey), “teen age” (Sadie, Cool Kids, Ronaldo), or “kids age” (Connie, Onion, Petey). This leaves but one option:

Originally posted by garnets-hips-dont-lie

Which leads me to the most important fact in the entire show: Jamie the Mailman used to have a hamster.