Providing Coca-Cola with direct access to our children, and allowing them to seductively teach children that they can balance bad diets and sugar sweetened soda with exercise, is both horrifying and inane.
1. The only persons who were totally not surprised that Steve Rogers and Thor would become Best Bros were Natasha and Sam.
2. “It’s like watching a pair of ginormous Golden Retrievers play together,” Sam said.
“Huskies,” Natasha corrected.
“No way - they’re all big ol’ happy Golden Retriever puppies.”
“Sam, you look me in the eye and tell me they’re not also total little shits.”
“Like I said. Huskies.”
3. Thor is not a moron. Nor is he unaware that the “gloriousness that is Pop Tarts” is actually junk food. But he’s no stranger to depression and melancholy either. And certainly, he is not a stranger to pain and loss. So inevitably:
“Friend Steven! Come and partake of this deliciousness and I will come sit with you while they tell us about the legendary Wars of the Stars and get everything wrong.”
“… wait, Star Wars is real?”
“Somehow, the legends have made to Midgard, though the prequels are an inaccurate retelling of the tales of the Skywalkers.”
“Thor, you’re not trolling me, are you?”
“I swear on sweet Mjolnir.”
4. Steve and Thor agreed that they would totally keep their gamer identities secret from Tony right up until Tony declared a Gamers’ Tournament for DoTA. And then, the fun really started.
6. When Steve found the baby girls instead of Bucky in the HYDRA base he had raided, he had been totally flabbergasted to find out that the little ones were actually created out of his and Bucky’s DNA. Naturally, the very idea of putting the girls into foster care or letting them out of his sight was out of the question. For better or for worse, he was going to be a father.
It was Thor who first stepped in and volunteered himself as a babysitter because seriously, taking care of twins was really meant to be the work of about the entire Avengers’ team. The girls fell asleep to the sound of Thor singing them Asgardian lullabies his mother had taught him.
7. Mjolnir had a crush on Steve. Darcy totally called it.
8. The first time Steve Rogers lifted Mjolnir, he was temporarily bitty-fied due to a botched spell from a wizard apparently affiliated with HYDRA.
He did it to save Bucky from falling under HYDRA control again when they tried to use a trigger word: Sputnik.
9. Thor had been totally bewildered when Steve apparently could not admit that Bucky was his “shieldmate.” Therefore, he was recruited into Team Save the Sad Grandpas by Natasha and Sam. Darcy was also included on this team. Steve and Bucky were totally doomed.
10. “So our cubs are going to have a literal godfather?”
“Luckily, the parish priest over at St. James’ has a sense of humor. Thor insists on doing a few blessings of his own too.”
“Baby, I think our babies will need all the blessings they can get.”
My latest episode of existentialism and questioning everything
I watched a video on youtube about how pop music lyrics are getting stupider and stupider. The guy in the video made the comparison of pop music to junk food; a quick fix to satisfy the masses. That’s when my current existential episode started…
I was walking on the treadmill and was contemplating the flower pattern on the curtains. I was thinking “They’re not actually flowers… the material is just woven to give the illusion of flowers.” I just realized (right now as I’m typing) that this is the same realization as with the painting The Treachery Of Images; “This is not a pipe”. So then of course I went on to ask myself “How do you know that existence is not an illusion?”
Then I go to look for something to eat. I wanted something healthy, so I chose the meat and potato & pumpkin mash - relatively healthy compared to the thick-crusted pizza on the bench. I even took some egg - because I’ve read that they have many vitamins & shit. So I start eating, and I’m thinking “What if humans were kept in enclosures by some superior creatures so that we could be harvested for our flesh? Would that be immoral?” The answer I came up with was yes: just the mental image of some being feeding on our flesh disturbs me. And yet this is what we do to animals.
I had a dream once (not a fantasy - an actual dream) about chicken flesh growing like grass from the ground. So that it is not a sentient being, and does not feel pain when we harvest it. The mental image of that may also be disturbing or at least weird - but it’s still more moral than to kill animals for their flesh. So the question is, in an ideal, enlightened world, would we still eat our fellow creatures?
My dad’s calls me over to look at this gold car he wants to buy. He says “Look how shiny it is!” I say “What does it matter what it looks like? The purpose of a car is to get you around to places.” He just said having a nice-looking car makes him feel good.
But I heard my dad say a few days ago that he wants this car to prove to my mum’s parents that they “made it”. My mum’s Chinese parents always disapproved of my non-Chinese dad, and said they’d never get anywhere in life. I observed that “That means you value their opinion”, to which my dad said “It’s more about what we think” - which kind of goes against his previous statement…
Why do we value material things so much? As if money is the ultimate determinant of our success? I can’t gloat about the insignificance of money, because I’ve never known poverty. However, I will say that many people nowadays have a superfluous desire for pretty things. Sneakers with lights in them are a classic example.
Every time I go on facebook, everybody wants to look so goddamn pretty! I mean hell, I’m not against it, but I think we’re so preoccupied with our looks that we’ve lost our intelligence. My news feed is utterly devoid of any intelligent posts, except for the pages I’ve liked. Just a constant flow of superficial bullshit.
But no, I do understand. It is because self-regard is a survival mechanism. You need to do good for yourself so that other people see you and respect you for that. These alliances serve to aid your survival. It’s programmed in us.
…It probably doesn’t help that I am likely on mood swings right now. I feel like I’m in a sort of controlled insanity.