poor thing :p

sadness

vitya talking to the russian team about his two Ls!

and this one is an excited vitya having trouble sleeping after the legendary banquet! (link only bc no reposting)

Doofenshmirtz

Every time I watch the show and laugh about Doof and his giant nerd face and how much I adore him and god he’s such a loser and he just fails at everything… I suddenly remember all the ridiculously tragic backstories all at once and just lose it

he’s a double amputee who had his arm trapped under a boulder and nobody bothered to tell him he wasn’t like a starfish and it wouldn’t grow back, he was abandoned by his family multiple times and raised by wild ocelots, his parents missed like all his fucking birthdays including his birth, his only friend was a balloon that HE LOST and oh yeah he had to stay outside every night IN COLD EASTERN GERMANY WEATHER FOR YEARS AND NOT MOVE OR ELSE HE WOULD GET YELLED AT AND HE WAS LITERALLY NEVER ALLOWED TO MOVE

IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT

IN EASTERN GERMANY

ALL YEAR LONG

INCLUDING THE WINTER

EDIT: AND LIKE, HIS DAD NAMED HIS DOG ’ONLY SON’ BECAUSE HIS PARENTS ARE FUCKING AWFUL LIKE OBJECTIVELY THE WORST.

HOW IS DOOF NOT A MENTALLY BROKEN WRECK SOBBING ON THE FLOOR JESUS GIVE THIS MAN A MEDAL HE IS A FUCKING SURVIVOR.

Kara Gets Hangry

Courtesy of my chats with @poppyssupergirl


Kara is a literal legend to be both revered and feared when it comes to food. We are talking eating out the entire DEO commissary and CatCo Cafe. And when she doesn’t get enough to eat, Oh BOY does she get hangry!

Imagine, after her first few weeks of working with Cat, everyone loves her. She’s super sweet and helpful, she manages to mellow Cat, and best of all, the office has never been so chill!! It’s super nice!! … Until one day … 

She woke up late and missed breakfast … and then Cat dragged her to a meeting and she missed lunch, and it has just been too long since the poor thing with the ungodly metabolism has eaten! The Hanger™ starts setting in and ohhh does Kara get grumpy and snippy and just overall unpleasant! (There might be general fear … Were her eyes glowing?? I think her eyes were glowing?!? Oh god, she just crushed a stapler!!! Did she just fucking growl?!?!? Oh no, run!!) People are more disconcerted than when Cat gets pissed because that’s to be expected, but Kara?? The literal embodiment of sunshine??? No, this is very unusual. (Cat is thrilled though, because honestly, it’s thoroughly entertaining to see people getting burned left right and center by Sunny Danvers! And she’s got a perfect view of it from right at her desk no less!!) 

Of course, the anger ends when Alex stops by with some food after receiving some moody texts from Kara that tell her all she needs to know. After all, she’s seen The Hanger™ first hand and knows all the tricks to handle it. So the whole office witness the ritual offering of food being made by the scary stranger that sometimes visits Kara at work and then suddenly … all better!! Happy, chirpy, helpful Kara Danvers has returned from the grasps of The Hanger™!!! And everyone is like ??!!?!!??! 

And so it becomes a ritual in the office. No one approaches Kara Danvers, especially when asking for help or a favor, without first bringing a food offering. Kara doesn’t even realize what’s happening, for a very long time. She’s just thrilled to be receiving a constant flow of treats.

[Femslash February]: Rescue

okay so technically it’s not feb. 3rd anymore but as far as i’m concerned it’s still yesterday until i go to sleep so i’m going to pretend this is right on time. i have to do this for 25 more days rip me xD


Day 3: Rescue (Chlonette/Chlobug)

Words: 1616

Link to Archive of Our Own: [AO3]

[Previous: Asleep] [Next: Matching Outfits]


Chloe was actually going to die of boredom at this dinner party. Seriously. She could feel her brain cells shriveling up, and she was going to end up brain dead way before dessert even came. 

Galas were way more fun. Galas had music, endless supplies of alcohol, balconies to smoke off of, and far more opportunities to dance and flirt with the sons and daughters of the other politicians in attendance. Dinners were tolerable only if she happened to be seated around interesting company or had the opportunity to wax on about her own life for the sake of drawing in the attention. 

But she was currently listening to one of her father’s staffers drone on and on about fiscal responsibility in the coming year and Chloe was two seconds away from stealing the bottle chianti, crawling under the table, and getting drunk alone. The man looked old enough to have fought in the damn French Revolution, and all of this economics talk was going completely over her head. It didn’t help that her father and some young son of another staff member were enraptured with the conversation, leaving Chloe to trace the rim of her wine glass and doze off from the conversation. 

Chloe pulled her phone out of her purse and surreptitiously sent a text. 

chloe: is death by macroeconomic discourse possible? asking for a friend.

mari <3: oh my. dinner’s that bad?

chloe: i’d rather use the melon ballers to scoop out my eyeballs

mari <3: ew :P poor thing. it’s only for an hour more right? you can do it!

chloe: :((((((((

chloe: all these old men are horrible i just wanna cuddle with a beautiful girl and make out with her all night is that too much to ask?

mari <3: huh. sorry. don’t know where you can get one of those. 

chloe: you little brat come save meeeeee >.<

She felt her father nudge her side with his elbow and lean his mouth down next to her ear. “Chloe, please put the phone away and behave.”

Chloe rolled her eyes and whispered back “Daddy, you can count on me to be perfectly pleasant and keep any conversation lively, especially if it’s for your benefit. But to be perfectly frank, this conversation died when the salad got here, and this talk about investments is actively drying out my skin.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Could you do the cinnamon roll meme for NCT??? (Looks like they could kill you but is actually a cinnamon roll: / Looks like a cinnamon roll but could actually kill you: /Looks like a cinnamon roll and is actually a cinnamon roll: / Looks like they could kill you and could actually kill you: / Could kill you by feeding you too many cinnamon rolls: / Could kill himself by eating too many cinnamon rolls: /) ♡♡

Looks like they could kill you but is actually a cinnamon roll: Taeyong

Looks like a cinnamon roll but could actually kill you: Yuta, Kun

Looks like a cinnamon roll but will kill you: Ten

Looks like a cinnamon roll and is actually a cinnamon roll: Doyoung, Jeno

Looks like a cinnamon roll and is actually a cinnamon roll unless you’re doubting TY: Mark

Looks like they could kill you and could actually kill you: Taeil

Could kill you by feeding you too many cinnamon rolls: Jaemin

Could kill himself by eating too many cinnamon rolls: Hansol

Will kill you by manipulating the cinnamon rolls: Donghyuck

Could kill you if you touch the cinnamon rolls without washing your hands first: Johnny

Looks like a cinnamon roll but is actually a sinnamon roll: Jaehyun

Could get killed by getting fed too many cinnamon rolls: Jisung

Camilla/Maria C-A Support

Written by  agentmaplficent


C SUPPORT

Maria: Hello there… you’re a pretty girl, aren’t you? I wonder whose your rider, I’ve never seen a wyvern like you before.

Camilla: She belongs to me, little one.

Maria: Ah! P-princess Camilla, hello! I, um… I was just petting her!

Camilla: Feel free to, ah, and do be careful by what you feed her, she prefers cooked meat.

Maria: She does? Wow… Minerva and Michalis’s wyverns like raw red meat, so I assumed that it would be the same.

Camilla: Oh, so you’re the little sister to Minerva! You’re just a cute little darling~!

Maria: P-Princess Camilla! Please don’t pinch my cheeks!

Camilla: I just can’t help it, you’re so cute, like my darling Elise!

Maria: Princess Camillaaaa! S-sorry I didn’t mean to whine like that…

Camilla: Oh no, it’s fine, dear. And please, just call me Camilla, little one.

Maria: Okay, Camilla! So… should I cook the meat?

Camilla: Yes, dear, but let me cook it. I don’t want you to get burnt, or your sister will have my head.

Maria: Okay, Camilla!

[Camilla and Maria have reached support rank C.]


B SUPPORT

Camilla: Maria, darling, where are you? Come out, come out, do not worry, no one is upset…

Maria: *sniff* C-Camilla…?

Camilla: Oh my goodness! Maria, are you alright, my sweet?

Maria: I-I *sniff* I’m so sorry, I just froze when-w-when…

Camilla: That wyvern rider we faced today. You suddenly froze when you two locked eyes. Is he an enemy? Did he do something to you? I will hunt him down and obliterate him for you.

Maria: No, don’t! T-that was Michalis…

Camilla: Who is Michalis? Minerva seems to hate that man more than anything, so why would you-

Maria: He’s our big brother.

Camilla: …

Maria: He… He’s what inspired Minerva to become a wyvern rider, you know? He tamed and trained that red wyvern and they became a force to be reckoned with. But he… he’s done bad things, Camilla. And I still love him, from the bottom of my heart. And what I want is for us to come back together and be happy again. I… I miss him so much, Camilla.

Camilla: Oh darling, you poor thing…

Maria: Ah! P-please don’t cry, Camilla!

Camilla: You just want him back, and I know that feeling all to well. Especially with Xander being gone.

Maria: I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cry, but… he just held his hand out to me, and he wanted me to take it. I think he wanted me to join him, and I considered it. Really, I did.

Camilla: There is no shame in wishing to go back to family, Maria. My Corrin has dealt in that predicament. It is so hard to choose who you want to be with. But you must think, would you choose your big sister or big brother? Who devoted more time to you? Who has worried for your safety more?

Maria: Minerva has. She… she wanted to save me from Michalis.

Camilla: And there’s your answer. Come, let me take you for a ride on my wyvern, little princess.

Maria: Really? Thank you, Camilla!

[Camilla and Maria have reached support rank B.]


A SUPPORT

Camilla: Now I do hope you have learned your lesson, Prince of Macedon.

Michalis: Tch…! Leave me be… I shall talk to Minerva on my own time and choosing.

Camilla: Then you have learned your lesson~ Thank you, prince.

Maria: Camilla! I heard the news! Michalis is here?!

Camilla: Ahaha~ Yes, little princess. Your big brother just left to talk to Minerva.

Maria: Oh, that’s great! I wasn’t on the team but I heard you were, so what happened?

Camilla: Well, first the others dealt with the Emblian soldiers and then I dealt the finishing blow on Michalis. I told him that he would be a gift to his little sister, Maria.

Maria: Oh… (Why do I feel like that conversation went differently?) T-that’s great!

Camilla: It is. I hear that you volunteered to take care of my wyvern and some of the others?

Maria: Yes, I have. I always do what I can, and taking care of wyverns, while I do not wish to be a rider, has always interested me.

Camilla: You are too cute!

Maria: I think you’re cute too, big sister Camilla!

Camilla: …

Maria: Oh, I-I’m sorry was that not right to say?

Camilla: No! It was perfect! I’m your big sister now, Maria.

Maria: I love you, big sister Camilla!

Camilla: And I you, my little Maria!

[Camilla and Maria have reached support rank A.]

Monsta X Reaction to you catching them buying condoms

Ofc you can, that’s why I am here, sweetheart ~ Enjoy and thank’s for the request

~~~

Shownu - I think he would only get the condoms when he was sure he was going to use them. He would only want to take that next step in your relationship if you were both up for it, which means you two would have already talked about it, so it wouldn’t be as akward if you found him on the store. I honestely can’t see Shownu buying the condoms just because yes. For you to make love, he would either talked with you about it already, or it would have to be you initiating it all, and have the condoms yourself, because he wouldn’t have them til you had that conversation: if you wanted to, if you were ready and all he found important. But still, even though you two had talked about it before, he would still blush when you saw him holding a box of condoms on the store. Shownu would say something cute to explain himself and then change the topic so it wouldn’t turn out akward. His first time with you would just be something really special and important, so he wouldn’t want to mess it up.

“You know… we will only do it when you’re absolutely sure this is what you want.” (there is no other thing i want more, my love XD)

Originally posted by kiihong

Wonho - This shameless boy would turn into a shy and embarrassed puppy. Yeah my friends, even Hoseok -the sex God himself- would get embarrassed. And it’s pretty obvious, if he hasn’t done it with his girlfriend he would get really flustered when being caught buying condoms. Wonho would be so affraid that you started to see him as a pervert that he wouldn’t even be able to explain himself. If you got mad or uncomfortable he would apologize hundreds and hundreds of times, and if you were just laughing he would match you and laugh as well, still pretty akward about it. Hoseok would be laughing but would feel so flustered that he wouldn’t be able to think in something else the next few days. He would want to explain to you that he only wanted to get prepared for when it happened and not because he was waiting for it to happen so soon. In the end it would be just an akward situation, but mostly for his side, who would be facepalming inside about how much of a pervert he thought he looked in front of you.

“OMG, Y/N, I am so sorry… I just thought that we… that this…I would…like…maybe it would be useful… in the future, someday? Don’t get wrong thoughts… I am not expecting anything, I swear!” *trying to explain himself but being too embarrassed to do it properly*

Originally posted by wonholyshit

Minhyuk - He would be shopping and would just add the condoms to the shopping basket because he had been thinking about it lately. Since you two have been together for a few months, he thought it was probably the right time to take the next step. Minhyuk would just forgot about them when you met him in the store and would kiss you and start a conversation, completely forgeting what was on the shopping basket. You would then shop together and when he was paying for it, you would notice the little box and look at him instantely. Then he would remember! The boy would freeze, looking at you, smiling and not able to say a word. He would just be SO CONFUSED. Why was this happening? He wasn’t even planning to buy them when he came to the store! Was this something wrong? Should he apologise or joke about it? He would be so shocked that wouldn’t even hear the shop attendent calling him to pay. When he left the store with you, he would be laughing and looking at his feet, blushing and finding the situation funny and horrible at the same time.

“Jagiya… I just got them because I thought we might need them… when you feel ready.”

Originally posted by starshipent

Kihyun - I feel like just like Shownu, Kihyun would just buy them if he knew he would use them. Since your make out sessions were becoming more frequent and more wet and needy he has been dying to have you. Kihyun would thought it would be a good idea to get prepared for when it happens, but would feel his vision going blurry as he was picking the box from the shelf and heard you calling his name. He would just die inside. Kihyun would left the box in the shelf and step back as you made your way to him, to hug him. You would find him pretty weird, as his cheeks went redder and he started sweating. Then you would understand, looking behind him to that whole section. You would ask him about it and he would just start to laugh while walking in circles and covering his face with his hands from embarrassement. Kihyun would take some time to be able to speak and to find the courage to admit what he was doing. He would just blame himself for even thinking in buying condoms before you two had even talked about it (gotta learn with Shownu)

“I wasn’t… those were not… I am sorry.”

(wtf minhyuk?)

Originally posted by swagplusderp

Hyungwon -  The boys have been teasing him about it and he has been thinking on when it would happen, so Hyungwon thought he should get prepared. I feel like going to the store would be already a little embarrassing to him since there were people there, watching him as he toke the condoms from the shelf. So, finding you on the store would just be the most ironic thing. You would be looking for a new shampoo in the store and look on top of your shoulder to find your boyfriend next to you, picking condoms from the shelf. When Hyungwon saw you ,he would burst into laughter and cause everyone to look at you two. He would be really embarrassed, but the situation was more funny than embarrassing. What were the chances to find you there, at that specific moment?! He wouldn’t explain much, just joke a little about it, to avoid making you two go through an akward situation. The scene would just be hilarious and he would be lauhing about it the entire week and blame the boys for what happened.

“You were not suposed to be here!”

Originally posted by ew-wonho

Jooheon - This cute baby is just so sweet, I think he would be the most caring boyfriend and look at you by who you were inside. So he wouldn’t even think about that matter in the beggining, he would find everything perfect, and he didn’t have to have sex with you to feel satisfied. But that day he was just feeling extra needy you know? He himself wouldn’t even know what was happening… was it the movie he watched last night or how great you looked this morning? Whatever, he just couldn’t take those thoughts out of his mind and noticed he wasn’t prepared for taking the next step, there was something missing. Jooheon went to the store to buy some suplies, to make sure he was ready for the future. Just look at how lucky he was: you were there too! XD And he was caught holding that box, right there. Jooheon would be one of the most embarrassed ones, Wonho would be mainly worried about you thinking of him as a pervert and Minhyuk would be more confused but Jooheon would be legit RED and want to turn invisible so you wouldn’t see how shy he was turning.

“I never felt so embarrassed before.”

Originally posted by mauloveskpop

I.M - You know when kids mess up and their mommy finds out? Yep, that would be how Changkyun would find this situation. He is so young and still a little bean, this wouldn’t be fair to him XD When you found him on the store and pocked his arm to greet him, he would look at your for eternities, shoked and not beliving you were actually there. I see you both staying in silence for some time, you looking at the condoms and he looking at you (how weird omg ). I.M would break the ice, looking at you and then to the condoms and then back to you again to start laughing and getting SUPER SHY and akward. He wouldn say full sentences, just walk around nervously, and staying quite, and looking around to see if people were understanding the situation. I think he would feel pretty bad afterwards, thinking you thought he was expecting to do it soon or thought of him as a horny child. He just wanted to have them to be prepared! I see him dropping the box and scratching his head, wanting you to change topic or to told him you were not mad at him.

“(…) This is not what it looks.” (ofc not)

(ft. Jooheon cuz’ Changkyunie was affraid to go alone, apparently)

Originally posted by swagplusderp

~~~

I find these so funny to write :P poor things…

~I also write for BTS, EXO, B.A.P, GOT7 and INFINITE if you’d like to leave more requests.

/GIFS ARE NOT MINE\

~Bye

Seunghoon’s choreography was too much for his skin tight pants to take.