poor options

Being poor is just a series of emergencies.

Emergencies really do crop up more often for poor people. Necessities, like vacuum cleaners or phones or bedding or shoes, need replacement or repair more often when you only buy the cheapest possible option.

Poor people’s health tends to be compromised by cheap, unhealthy food; stress; being around lots of similarly-poor contagious sick people who can’t afford to stay home or get treatment; inadequate healthcare; and often, hazardous and/or demanding work conditions – including longer hours allowing less time for sleep, home food prep, and mental or physical exercise.

Our homes may not offer much respite, as we’re less likely to have comfortable furniture for sleep or relaxation, more likely to be forced to rely on abusive people for financial reasons.  We’re also more likely to live in high-pollution areas, food deserts, and in poorly-maintained rental housing. We’re less likely to have access to heat or cooling even in dangerous weather.

For all these reasons and more, we get sick more, and when we do, we have less access to medical care – even the poor people lucky enough to have adequate insurance and a doctor who will provide appropriate care without discrimination may face significant difficulties getting to and from a doctor and pharmacy.

Poor people have less reliable transportation; any cars that are affordable for a poor person will usually need major repairs at least a couple times a year - more emergencies! - and poor people are less likely to live anywhere near an adequate public transit system. Just the cab fare to and from a doctor visit can easily cost a week’s worth of groceries or more. Ignoring medical needs as long as possible and not accessing preventative care causes massive future expense.

Many people are poor specifically because of disability, making work difficult or impossible in addition to the expenses of managing chronic illness, accessing mobility aids, or other costs associated with disability.

Poverty runs in families, and friend groups are often based heavily on class in our stratified society, so in addition to your own emergencies as a poor person, you’ll likely also be sharing resources to keep your loved ones alive. You’re not likely to have wealthier friends or family who can or will help.

Poor people are less likely to have enough clothing that we can wait to replace unwearable items. Because our clothing collections are smaller (and often secondhand and/or poorly made), our clothes wear out faster. Not having clothing that marks us as ‘respectable’ can bar us from employment, make us more vulnerable to violence from police or other harassers, and make resources like social programmes less accessible.

Overdraft fees target poor people specifically. Being a few pennies off in your maths can mean sudden huge bills that compound themselves. Predatory banks routinely run all charges before processing the deposits you make earlier in the day or week, which can mean huge overdraft fees can happen even if you deposit your money hours or days before trying to spend any of it.

There are thousands of examples. For poor people, unexpected expenses happen more often. And when you’re poor, any unexpected expense can be an emergency with serious consequences.

Even the cheapest (most temporary) solution for an emergency often breaks the bank.  People who aren’t poor don’t realize that an urgent expense of thirty dollars can mean not eating for a week. Poor people who try to save find our savings slipping away as emergency after emergency happens. Some poor people turn to predatory lending companies, not because they don’t know it’s a bad deal but because being hugely in debt tomorrow is better than your kids starving today.

I don’t think people who’ve never been poor realise what it’s like. It’s not that we’re terrible at budgeting, it’s that even the most perfect budget breaks under the weight of the basic maths: we do not have enough resources.

Cos we’re fucking poor.

EDIT PLEASE READ: This post was made on August 25, 2017. At the time, the only video boosts were THREE (3) per day LWYMMD lyric vid boosts and they were “low boost” I AM WELL AWARE THAT SINCE THEN IT HAS GOTTEN MORE FAIR AND YOU DON’T HAVE TO BUY ANYTHING TO GET BOOSTS

You are NOT cleverly calling out a “hater” for telling me that useless piece of info. You are attacking a poor person calling out unfairness THAT WAS RESPONDED TO BY THE PEOPLE IN CHARGE OF TAYLOR SWIFT TIX BY MAKING IT MORE FAIR.

GO. Away.


I feel like at this point, rich fans are being willfully ignorant. 

You fucking know Taylor does things to boost sales… literally last time it was taylurking and polaroids. the more polaroids you had in your hand, the more impressive you looked in a taylurking montage and the better chance you had of being a “fave” and getting noticed. Poor fans pointed out that this was unfair. Y’all told us we were being too sensitive…

And now it’s like “Every copy of the album you buy increases your chances at getting good tickets to the VERY LIMITED tour! Every piece of EXPENSIVE MERCH you buy increases your chances further! There are no equivalent free options!” and poor fans are like “wow well there goes my chance for good tickets at this stupidly limited tour. Okay. That’s unfair.” And y’all are like “If you can’t afford to spend money on increasing your chances, how are you going to afford the ticket+fees?” 

The point is you shouldn’t have to spend money on increasing your chances. You should only have to spend money on the fucking ticket. 

I support sex workers who don’t like sex work.

I support sex workers who want out.

I support sex workers who have massive critiques of the sexual economy but have decided it’s their best or only option currently.

I support sex workers who want other options.

I support sex workers who treat it as a job.

I support sex workers who think it’s their calling (but I don’t support sex workers who start treating workers who DON’T treat it as a sacred calling as if they’re selling themselves short and allowing themselves to be raped or are somehow dirty, get past that lateral whorephobia you entitled little shits).

I support sex workers doing it on the side because a living wage is a myth in this country for those not well off and white.

I support sex workers dipping in and out as needed for emergencies.

I support sex workers who quit and miss it.

I support sex workers who quit and are so fucking glad about it: congratulations!

I do not support sex workers who were able to quit and want to continue denying or further render unsafe and vulnerable the remaining population f workers who still need this income to get by, while refusing to admit that their own personal narrative may not be the One Ring of Truth for all sex workers, AND that the options they had for getting out aren’t available to all or even the vast majority of sex workers.

Deliberately and systemically unavailable, because options for poor women, indigenous women, uneducated women, trans women, women of colour, working class women, migrant women, and intersections of all of the above, are deliberately kept limited in our capitalist white supremacist society. And denying that is denying reality and buying into an imperialist and misogynist dream world that hates people of colour and women and lgbtqueer people and children and again, all of the above.

Work for rights and options, not for carceral solutions that fund police forces through arrest money and civil forfeiture.

Donate to shelters. Feed hungry people. Lobby against TPP and for changed border policies.

Support the most marginalized. Don’t support the oppressors.

So. Here we are. Back again, because I just can’t seem to climb out of this hole I’m in.

I’m just gonna keep it short: I live in Florida and it’s summer, which means my electricity bill gets larger each summer. I had accounted for it to be $120, but it ended up being $146 instead. With my mom’s help, I can cover June’s bill, but I’m coming up short for July and August.

I’m about $40 short, so if someone (or several someones) could help with that, it’d be appreciated. Paypal is Kobanya@hotmail.com or papypal.me/kobanya (check “friends and family and not goods/services, please).

Anything extra will be used to buy groceries. (Yeah, we don’t have money for that either. :/) If anyone wants, I can explicitly break down all our costs.

Thanks.

the boy king’s demons aren’t allowed to close deals with underage kids anymore, but that doesn’t mean kids aren’t still trying. the demons never show, but within a week of a teenager burying a Altoids tin of graveyard dirt at a crossroads, the kid’s problems always disappear under mysterious and inexplicable circumstances

anonymous asked:

Hi!! A question I've always struggled with about liberation theology - don't get me wrong, i agree that God is on the side of the downtrodden and marginalized - but does this mean he doesn't care about the successful and accepted?? I realize this may not be the right place to ask, but you seem to know a lot about the subject. Thanks regardless!!

Hi there, wonderful question! As you can probably tell from my blog, I love liberation theology. And something I’m learning about it is that there isn’t one “version” of it – different liberation theologians may have different answers for you, so I’ll give my answer based on what I know of those theologians whom I’ve read and what I think myself.


What does a “preferential option for the poor” even mean?

First, let’s clarify what liberation theologians (and others) mean when they claim that God has a “preferential option for the poor.” Does it mean that God loves the poor more than the rich, the oppressed more than their oppressors?? And does it contradict the places in scripture that state that God shows no partiality (Acts 10:34; Romans 2:11)??

God does indeed show no partiality, and loves no one person or group of people over any other – and liberation theology actually affirms this, rather than contradicts it. It is because God loves all people that God “prefers” the poor – a word that, in liberation theology, does not mean “likes better” but rather something like “focuses more attention on” or “takes special care of.” 

Gustavo Gutiérrez explains this preference in terms of what takes precedence: “Preference implies the universality of God’s love, which excludes no one. It is only within the framework of this universality that we can understand the preference, that is, ‘what comes first.‘” So it doesn’t mean that God is ignoring the privileged but that those who are marginalized and vulnerable come first. 

I think an explanation of why “Black lives matter” does not mean that other lives don’t matter can help explain why God’s preference for the poor does not mean greater love for the poor or a hatred of the rich/oppressors/privileged. The purpose of the phrase “Black lives matter” is to point out that Black lives, which are treated in American society like they don’t matter, actually do – to emphasize Black lives because they have been de-emphasized, because they have been treated like nothing, because their inherent worth has been denied through systemic violence. Its purpose is not superiority but equity – to raise Black people’s lives and rights up to the same level as all other lives. 

Likewise, the analogy I’ve heard used by Black Lives Matter about firefighters is a good one for our purposes too: if there is a burning house and a non-burning house, firefighters are going to pay much more attention to the burning house. It would not actually be “equality” or “loving both equally” for the firefighters to use half their water on the burning house and half on the non-burning house – it would be an injustice to the burning house. The firefighters give more care to the burning house because the burning house needs it more. 

God gives the poor special attention and care not because God loves them more or because they are necessarily more “worthy” of attention and care, but because their worth has been denied and dishonored by the world. As the Puebla Conference held in 1978 in Lima, Peru, explained it, “The poor merit preferential attention, whatever may be the moral or spiritual situation in which they find themselves. Made in the image and likeness of God to be [God’s] children, this image is dimmed and even defiled. That is why God takes on their defense and loves them.

In his book On Job, Gustavo Gutiérrez also describes how it’s not about who “deserves” God’s love or care: “God has a preferential love for the poor not because they are necessarily better than others, morally or religiously, but simply because they are poor and living in an inhuman situation that is contrary to God’s will.”

In this way, Gustavo Gutiérrez claims, “This preference for the poor…is a key factor in authentic divine justice.” Because God is just, God must show particular care to those most in need of justice. 


God’s preference for the poor in scripture 

This idea of a “preference” for the poor/oppressed/marginalized has biblical basis. This webpage notes this fact in describing the history of the term:

“The phrase ‘preferential option for the poor’ was first used in 1968 by the superior general of the Jesuits, Father Pedro Arrupe, in a letter to his order. The term was later picked up by the Catholic bishops of Latin America. In its early usage, particularly, the option for the poor referred especially to a trend throughout biblical texts, where there is a demonstrable preference given to powerless individuals who live on the margins of society. The liberation theology movement fully embraced the concept, particularly when they closely associated the poor and vulnerable with Jesus himself, citing Matthew 25, ‘Whatever you did for the least of these, you did for me.’”

In On Job, Gutiérrez uses Matthew 11:25-26 to explain further just what it means for God to “prefer” the poor. The passage:

At that time Jesus said, “I thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and the intelligent and have revealed them to infants; yes, Father, for such was your gracious will.”

Here we see that God does indeed have a “preference” for the poor – here, for “infants” over those who are wise. It is the uneducated whom God favors with “hidden things” – why? Gutiérrez says:

“The condition of being privileged addressees of revelation is the result not primarily of moral or spiritual dispositions but of a human situation in which God undertakes self-revelation by acting and overturning values and criteria. The scorned of this world are those whom the God of love prefers.

…The real reason, then, for Jesus’ gratitude is his contemplation (in the full sense of the term as a form of prayer) of the Father’s goodness and love that reach out to the simple and the unimportant, and give them preference. This predilection, which does not imply exclusivity, is underscored by the hiding of revelation from the wise and important. An entire social and religious order is hereby turned upside down.”

Some other examples in scripture of God choosing the poor/marginalized/oppressed over the rich/oppressors/privileged: 

  • God’s choosing of younger sons over their older siblings in a society in which older siblings got everything (I’m talking about Jacob, Joseph, David, and so many more)
  • God’s choosing of and special care for women in a society in which women were marginalized and vulnerable (think of Hagar, of Deborah and Jael, of Hannah, of Jesus’ interactions with various women, his respect for them and sharing special wisdom with them)
  • God’s special care for people who are depressed, downtrodden, unloved or rejected (think of Leah, Elijah, David when he’s an outcast and on the run from the law, Ruth and Naomi who are foreigners and widows)
  • God’s various declarations of care for the oppressed, such as in Isaiah 56 (a message to foreigners and eunuchs that they have a place in God’s house), and Jesus’s quoting of Isaiah to proclaim he has come “with good news for the poor” and to set captives free (Luke 4). 
  • Hannah’s song of praise in 1 Samuel 2 and Mary’s song of praise in Luke 1 both speak of God’s preference for the poor – “God has brought down the powerful from their thrones, and lifted up the lowly; God has filled the hungry with good things, and sent the rich away empty.”

Using this theology to carry out justice 

So what does all this mean for us, in how we act out our faith on an individual and systemic basis, on our own and with our church communities?

Gutiérrez says that recognizing the option for the poor will inspire us to solidarity: “Belief in God and God’s gratuitous love leads to a preferential option for the poor and to solidarity with those who suffer wretched conditions, contempt, and oppression, those whom the social order ignores and exploits.

In this way we will be moved to stand with the poor and even to suffer with them. Hopefully we will be inspired to confront injustices ranging from economic and social injustice to racism, homophobia and transphobia, xenophobia, islamophobia and anti-Semitism, sexism, and all systems that pit some groups over others, that dehumanize and trap people in cycles of suffering.

Bishop Desmond Tutu lauds the way that liberation theology gives voice to the suffering of the innocent: “Liberation, theology more than any other kind of theology, issues out of the crucible of human suffering and anguish. It happens because people cry out, ‘Oh, God, how long?’ ‘Oh God, but why?…’ All liberation theology stems from trying to make sense of human suffering when those who suffer are the victims of organized oppression and exploitation, when they are…treated as less than what they are: human persons created in the image of the Triune God, redeemed by the one Savior Jesus Christ and sanctified by the Holy Paraclete.”

Thus liberation theology can help us give voice to our own suffering and compel us to hear others’ suffering, so that we will be moved to right that suffering. Lamentation and crying out to God is something many of our churches are rusty at – because it’s not easy, it’s not comfortable, and we often fear that it’s “blasphemy” to yell at God. But from Job, Habakkuk, and the Psalms to Jesus in the garden and on the cross, scripture shows us that God invites and encourages us to cry out, to bring all our messy emotions to Them – and to let others give voice to those emotions, too. 


Good news for the rich and privileged, too?

Finally, what good news is there in liberation theology for those who are not “the poor” whom God prefers – for those who are the rich, the privileged, the oppressors?

I wish I could find the passage (I think it is in Gutiérrez but it might be from a some other theologian I’ve read in seminary), but I know I have heard this somewhere: God being on the side of the poor means the spiritually poor too! Those of us who are oppressed by our own sins, our own corruption, our complicit-ness in sinful social structures, are part of God’s preference. 

As Jesus puts it in Luke 5:32, “I have not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance.” Luke 19:10, then, says that “the Son of Humanity is come to seek and save that which was lost.”

Think also of biblical figures whom God chooses even though they are not perfect by any stretch of the imagination: Moses was a murderer, and Paul was too; Jacob was a trickster and yet was even blessed for “striving with God and with people”; Jesus ate with tax collectors and chose disciples who would doubt and betray him; and on and on.

God’s preferential option is thus at work on the oppressors, and on those of us who benefit from oppression whether we want to or not. It reminds me of feminists’ argument that feminism helps men too – because it can free them from the constraints of toxic masculinity. 

Now, God’s preferential option may show itself in different ways for the privileged than it does with the oppressed – it may show itself in the Spirit’s urging us to do the hard work to combat sin, both our individual sin and the systemic sin from which we benefit. It may show itself in God’s refusal to leave us to our sin that harms others, in God moving us to empathy and solidarity with the oppressed – which is never comfortable, and often painful. But it is how we move towards God’s shalom, the wholeness and abundance of life God is bringing about for all people and all creation, and so I thank God for how They unsettle me from my own comfortable privilege. 

Note, I’m not sure all liberation theologians would agree with this idea of the privileged being counted in God’s option when it comes to “spiritual poverty” in this way; I’m not even sure I fully agree with it – so in that case, even if there is not any good news specifically for the rich/privileged, at the very least there is not “bad news” for them in liberation theology. God still loves them intensely; the preferential option for the poor doesn’t change that.

Still, I would argue that those of us who are privileged in one way or another should rejoice at God’s option for the poor whether or not it directly “benefits” us, because it is directly benefiting other members of the Body of Christ. We should long for and be striving toward wholeness, dignity, and justice for the oppressed and marginalized. After all, in this Body of Christ to which we all belong, “if one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together” (1 Corinthians 12:26).


Some more resources

I hope this helps you out, anon! Let me know if you have more questions. And if anyone has more thoughts on this topic or any comments on what I wrote above, I’d love to hear them!

For more on liberation theology and explanations of God’s option for the poor:

– you can read the first bit of Gutiérrez’s On Job for free here.

– I like this article’s explanation of the preferential option for the poor, calling it an “option that’s not optional” and applying it to today’s context 

– this webpage lists some more reasons God might have an option for the poor

– see all the quotes collected in my liberation theology tag

see this post for book recommendations for liberation theology as well as theologies sometimes considered to be “subsets” of or at least related to liberation theology, such as queer theology and Black theology

– does anyone have more resources? Share them!

Ohkura: OK, so, we can wait for jam to end and wait 35 minutes to hit the bar and drink ourselves dead like some kind of fools or
Nishi: Put the booze in the water bottle and playing the staying hydrated bitch game?
Ohkura: Put the booze in the water bottle and playing the staying hydrated bitch game.

What might happen since Fred Andrews could be dead

*Somewhere in Chicago a Mary Andrew’s doorbell rings*

*Mary opens it and see half the teenage population of Riverdale*

Mary: Ooookaaay…

Archie: Mom, we wanna live with you.

Mary: Archie, I told you on the phone, I can’t take all of you -

Veronica: Mrs. Andrews, you are our only hope.

Mary: Veronica-

Veronica: My parents are guilt free criminals. Cheryl’s mom is a drug dealer who could care less that her daughter almost died. Betty and Polly’s parents are the Coopers. Archie makes terrible life choices, and Jughead is following suit and Ethel and Kevin need a lot of hugs. We need parenting!

*The teenagers proceed to give their best sad puppy eyes*

Mary: *sigh* Okay, just for today.

*She let’s them in*

Riverdale Teens: YAY!

Veronica: Get ready to Mom like you never Mom before!

3

“Steal My Look - Happening Edition” - Tagged by @cutthroatbouquet

1. T-shirt I got at my local college - Free

2. Sturm trench coat - $5 at an estate sale

3. Kryptek American Flag hat - $18 from a sporting goods store

4. Ray-Ban sunglasses - $10 from a Mexican dude at a swap meet

5. Awesome facial hair - Free

6. CRKT Septimo - $60

7. True-Grip gloves - $15 from a hardware store

8. Mid-War Arisaka bayonet - $25 at an estate sale

9. SMLE No. 1 Mk. III M1907 WWII issue bayonet - $75 from the same estate sale

10. Assassin Sling Pack (Death Dealer Tactical) - $40

11. Valhalla (Admit One) patch - $3

***Not Shown***

12. Haggar blue jeans - Probably $20 at the mall

13. Beat up but still functional Response Gear hiking boots - $25

I tag @meatymurdermachine @canto34 @justasshall @kompanie-mutter @gunnyryan @the6fingeredbiologist @rebelnurse1986 @bears-for-the-bear-god @john-paul-jonesing-for-liberty

6

Today I remembered Merrill existed, and I was like, “aww.” But then I thought, “HEY I wonder if I could make a Merrill inquisitor?”

The answer is a resounding vaguely.

Couldn’t you just imagine it, though? “But why are they the Hissing Wastes? Are there lots of snakes there?”

Out Of Nothing At All - Two

“Y/N?” Hotch stared at you, taking in the words the doctor had just said. “You’re pregnant?”

“No…. ” you laughed. “Don’t be ridiculous. This must be what they mean when they say that hospitals are under staffed and over worked. People make mistakes, it’s fine though.”

Turning to the doctor you explained, “Doc, you’ve got the wrong file. I’m Y/F/N. Date of birth 17 April 1987. Social security number 146295. Definitely NOT pregnant.”

“I’m guessing this is news to you then?” he checked the files again quickly.

“It’s not news, it’s not a fact. I’m not pregnant. How could I be? I’ve not missed a period, I’ve not had any sickness. I feel absolutely fine.” You racked your brains trying to recall the dates of your last cycle.

Okay, so you had missed one period. It was two weeks late, but you figured it was due to the stress of the case or something. And you’d had three days of vomiting around a month ago. But that was down to bad food. Right. RIGHT!?

“Miss Y/L/N, a number of expecting mothers still have periods all the way through their pregnancy, and not all people experience morning sickness. I can run another test quickly if you’re able to provide a urine sample. I can run it here, in front of you.”

You nodded, swinging your legs over the side of the bed and holding your arm out expectantly. “Give me a cup and get the test please. I am NOT fucking pregnant. You’ve got this wrong.”

The doctor sighed and opened one of the storage cupboards that lined the room, handing you a small plastic beaker. Taking it, you hobbled through to the bathroom, returning moments later and handing the tub over. In the meantime he’d collected two plastic boxes, them both your standard run of the mill drugstore testing kits.

“I’ll do two tests as I can see you’re going to take some convincing but I can assure you, the tests are accurate.”

You watched as he unwrapped both boxes and dipped the ends of the two sticks into the fluid, laying them down one by one on a tray.

Hotch moved from his seat by the window so that he was closer to you, and you settled back onto the bed waiting the required thirty seconds. You couldn’t read the expression on your supervisor’s face.

You waited, your breath held until the time was up and the doctor checked the sticks before handing them both to you.

Plus signs. On both.

It took you half a minute to realise that the strangled cat you could hear wailing was you. The doctor began to back away muttering an, “I’ll leave you alone” and you felt Aaron’s cool hand on your arm attempting to soothe you.

“Wait. Don’t leave! Get it out. Get it out of me!” you were suddenly yelling.

“Pardon?” the doctor frowned and you felt Hotch stiffen besides you.

“You heard, I don’t want it. Get it out of me. Now. Today. I have money, I’ll pay whatever. I’m not leaving here until it’s no longer a problem.”

“Y/N….Think about what you’re saying.” Hotch was trying to keep the shock out of his voice.

“I’m being serious. Get it out of me. I do not want a child. I’m not Mommy material.” Swiping away the tears that were streaming down your face, you stared at the medical professional until he agreed to make a call and send someone down from the clinic to speak with you.

They arrived thirty minutes later, Agent Hotchner leaving the room so you could speak in private. You shot down every option the poor women offered you, impatiently telling them that, no adoption wasn’t an option and no you didn’t need time to think about this. You wanted it done now.

Eventually they relented, advising that they could do the procedure tomorrow. As you weren’t far along it would be fairly straight forward although you blocked them out as they explained what it would involve, leaving you with a pile of pamphlets.

Hotch came back into the room after the woman had left.

“I apologise for my outburst Sir. I’m sorry you had to see that.”

“It’s fine. Are you okay?” Concern coated his voice.

“I’m fine. Or at least I will be tomorrow.”

“Are you sure about this Y/N?”

“One hundred percent. I do not want children.”

“But you’re great with Jack and Henry. I don’t understand. You’d make a great mother.”

“Hotch, please don’t.”

He sighed, “What about the father?”

“What about the father exactly?” you asked.

“Well, do you not think he deserves to know?”

“Nope. It’s my body and my choice. I’m not having this THING ruin my life.”

“Okay. If you’re sure this is what you want then as your boss and friend, I’ll help in anyway I can.”

“Thank you Sir.”

The ride home was long and quiet. You kept your gaze averted from your travelling companions, tears silently rolling down your face as you contemplated your predicament.

You’d been checked over an hour ago and been cleared to leave the hospital, Hotch leading you carefully back to the SUV.

He’d stayed with you all day, arriving early at the hospital and waiting outside the clinical white room where they’d taken you to perform the procedure.

When you’d panicked and started yelling and crying, he’d been the one who’d stormed into the room, holding you, rubbing your back and stroking your hair as the nurses looked on sympathetically, used to this sort of reaction. He was going above and beyond the duty of just a boss, and you’d never forget him for being there for you today.

Every fibre of your body wanted the bundle of cells that had taken up residence in your womb expelled from it.

But when you’d been lying there in the hospital bed, legs akimbo in the metal stirrups, something else had taken over. 
Something had made you panic, crying out for your colleague whilst you struggled to breathe.

You couldn’t do it.

You didn’t want to be a mom, you could barely take care of yourself let alone be responsible for another human being.

And you knew adoption wouldn’t be an option. You couldn’t carry something for nine months just to hand it over and forget about it.

But you couldn’t bring yourself to end the pregnancy. Some fighting urge, some deeply hidden maternal instinct had kicked in and you hated what that meant.

You were going to have a baby.

A crying, messy, vomiting baby.

Ew.

You could sense Hotch watching you as he pulled into your street, parking outside your house. He’d been quiet too on the way home, leaving you to your thoughts.

“Y/N. We’re here.”

You made no move to exit the car.

“Y/N. You’re going to be okay, you’re one of the strongest people I know.”

Nodding you opened the door and picked your bag up, your ankle still sore as you slid out of the seat.

Hotch followed you to your door.

“Are you going to tell the father? He could help.”

“No. I’ll do this alone.”

He looked uncomfortable as he asked th next question. “Do you… Do you know who the father is?”

You didn’t judge him for asking. It was no secret that you’d had a few lovers over the past twelve months, having come out of a five year relationship. It had become kinda a joke across the team in fact.

“Yes I know who the father is Hotch. And….I don’t want to involve him. He’s not a bad person or anything but it was a one night only thing and I have no desire to have any sort of relationship with him.”

He nodded. You could tell he disagreed but he wasn’t going to push the matter.

Up until you’d ended up in this position yourself you’d have agreed too, thinking that every child had the right to know their fathers. And every man had the right to know if they had a child out there.

But you just couldn’t go there right now.

“Okay, get some rest. It’s Wednesday and I don’t want to see you in work until Monday at the earliest. Take some time, maybe talk to your family. I know you’re not close but maybe it will help.”

It wouldn’t. That was a conversation you intended on putting off for as long as you could. Christmas in five years time should do the trick.

“And Y/N. Call if you need anything. Anything at all, and I mean that. I’m here for you as a friend, one that cares about you and not just as your boss.”

You sniffed back fresh tears and gave him the tiniest watery smile you could manage, murmuring a thanks to him before entering the front door to your house.

You’d just about made it to your couch before collapsing into tears again.

What a fucking mess. 

Study Night

The artist for today’s Artist Appreciation Month is @inktho! Her art is absolutely stellar, especially her inking and linework. I love all her Fire Emblem art especially of her MU and Ricken, so when it came to choosing who to draw, there was only one option! Poor kid tuckered himself out studying magic.

Anyway, thank you so much Katy for all the awesome stuff you’ve created and inspiration you’ve given me :)

anonymous asked:

The situation with Chiad and Bain makes me really uncomfortable because I feel that there is an implied romantic realtionship and their treatment is not unlike Jordan's general treatment of wlw in his series. I get the strong feeling that Jordan doesn't believe that women can truly love other women. Have sexual desire yes but this is something they would overcome once they meet the right man. Maybe I am over reacting but his idea of pillow friends and general "representation" really bugs me

I’ve felt similarly uncomfortable about the way relationships between women are handled at times during the series. It bothers me less with Bain and Chiad than with, say, Moiraine and Siuan, but I think that comes down to personal preference and interpretation, and I agree that there’s an unfortunate trend of - intentionally or otherwise - deligitimising these kinds of relationships. I’m glad there are non-straight women in the series, but I’m frustrated by how the narrative handles their sexuality.

My own issue with Bain and Chiad has more to do with them having to give up their weapons while Gaul gets to keep his - why not the other way around? Why do they have to be made gai’shain and why does Faile have to learn nobility through captivity and humiliation, while Gaul and Perrin get to achieve it through triumph and battle?

I feel as though sometimes Jordan/the narrative has a similar issue as Rand: he can conceptually accept women fighting, but struggles sometimes with the follow-through. Not all the time - Tylee and Birgitte stand out as examples, and there are absolutely times when Jordan does a really good job with this - but it does sometimes feel as if what is said and what is shown don’t quite match up when it comes to letting women take part in combat.

I’m also probably still bitter about the entire Malden plotline and how it treated virtually every woman who was involved in it, so that’s definitely playing a role in my annoyance here.