poor nny

you know the complicated thing about being a poor disabled tr*nny and trying to form any kind of actual community with other fucked up trans people so we can fucking survive is that i fundamentally dont like or trust anyone and feel like im always pushing myself to be ok with touch or affection in general or conversation or other people just existing and having ideas that are not identical to mine and its fucking exhausting. i still just feel like an alien stuck in a human body and forced to perform elaborate human behaviors in order to get anything that i need