poor michigan

john mulaney and pancakes

ok SO john mulaney has a new live show on the netflicks (the comeback kid) and i was lucky enough to see him do this act live in milwaukee this summer!!! but the recorded show is missing something special

so summer in milwaukee is known for being like. comically humid. disgustingly, oppressively humid. ‘can’t tell the difference between being downtown and being literally submerged in lake michigan’ humid

and poor john mulaney was wearing a nice-looking but also very warm suit. so once about every 10-20 minutes he would pause whatever spiel he was on, wipe his forehead, flutter his jacket about, regret his fashion choices and ask what was wrong with us that we don’t properly air condition our venues

about halfway through the show, a woman in one of the front rows stood up and started to walk out so in classic mulaney fashion he razzed her that she couldn’t take the heat either and asked her to bring him a pepsi - she didn’t break stride (i would try to play it cool too if over a thousand people were suddenly watching me get razzed by mulaney)

as soon as she was out of the theatre, he turned his mic off and started yelling to those of us who were still in there

okay guys, we’re going to play a little prank on her! can everyone hear me? WE’RE GOING TO PLAY A PRANK! at some point later in the show i’m going to say ‘you know what they say in milwaukee!!’ and you’re all going to wave your arm around like this’ - he jauntily waved his arm with his first finger outstretched, like an 80 year old man doing the charleston - ‘and you will all shout ‘gimme some PANcakes!!!’’

we did a few rehearsals of this until he was satisfied, and he turned his mic back on and continued with his act

a few minutes later the woman walked back through the theatre but passed her row, walked all the way up to the stage, and set a can of pepsi at mulaney’s feet. he stopped, mouth agape for a moment and touched his chest. ‘is this really for me?’ he asked. ‘did i ask you for pepsi? i have no idea why i would do that, i hate pepsi.’ he thanked her sincerely several times, and when she turned his back to him to return to her seat, he made frantic ‘kill’ motions across his throat to signal to us that the prank was off

he continued to lament the heat for the rest of his act, eventually lost the jacket and drank the gifted pepsi, grimacing cartoonishly every time. at the very end of the night he thanked us for being a great audience, thanked the woman in particular for her kindness, and triumphantly said ‘BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY IN MILWAUKEE!!!’ and 1 very generous women was hopelessly confused when 1299 people shouted ‘GIMME SOME PANCAKES!!!!!’

happy-amateur  asked:

Funny how every one of those senators complaining about how federal power can jeopardize education all voted in favor of Devos. They can't even keep their rice-paper-thin excuses consistent.

I suspect a lot of them are anti-public schools and pro-private Christian charter schools, both of which are in line with DeVos’s own attitudes toward education. 

Mother Jones has a very good article here on the kinds of things that DeVos values and pays for–and the probable results of her policies:

Michigan now serves as one of the most prominent examples of what aggressive, DeVos-style school choice policies look like on the ground, especially when it comes to expanding charters. About 80 percent of the state’s charter schools are run by for-profit companies—a much higher share than anywhere else in the country—with little oversight from the state. In 2011, DeVos fought against legislation to stop low-performing charter schools from expanding, and later she and her husband funded legislators who opposed a proposal to add new oversight for Detroit’s charters.

Detroit, in particular, provides a cautionary tale of what happens when the ideology of market-driven “school choice” trumps the focus on student outcomes. The city’s schools—where 83 percent of students are black and 74 percent are poor—have been in steady decline since charter schools started proliferating: Public school test scores in math and reading on the National Assessment of Educational Progress have remained the worst among large cities since 2009. In June, the New York Times published a scathing investigation of the city’s school district, which has the second-biggest share of students in charters in America. (New Orleans is No. 1.) Reporter Kate Zernike concluded that lax oversight by the state and insufficiently regulated growth—including too many agencies that are allowed to open new charter schools—contributed to a chaotic system marked by “lots of choice, with no good choice.”

A 2015 study from Michigan State University’s Education Policy Center found that a high percentage of charter schools also had a devastating impact on the finances of poor Michigan school districts like Detroit. Researchers reported that, under the state’s school choice and finance laws, it was hard for districts to keep traditional public schools afloat when charters reached 20 percent or more of enrollment. While per-student public funding follows kids to charters or other districts, traditional public schools still have fixed costs to cover, like building expenses and faculty salaries. Charter growth also increased the share of special-needs students left behind in traditional public schools, and the extra costs for educating such students weren’t adequately reimbursed by the state.

Safer in the Forest - Love Song for Poor Michigan
La Dispute
Safer in the Forest - Love Song for Poor Michigan

It’s that I’m tired of the feeling here.
It’s too near to death, it’s too jobless year-round.
It’s not the weather in the city or the highway moan.
Not the streets or the buildings, neither wooden nor stone.
Every reason to leave this place behind, why I should be alone,
Are made of flesh and bone.

Favorite lyrical songs

Basically songs that I really relate to or I just think they are beautifully written. 

All Time Low: Therapy 

Andrew Belle: In My Veins 

Bastille: Laughter Lines 

Brand New: Jesus Christ (this song royally fucked me up) 

City & Colour: O Sister 

Ed Sheeran: Afire Love 

Ed Sheeran: Kiss Me 

Emarosa: Broken Vs The Way We Were Born (Is sung by my favorite vocalist of all time) 

The Fray: I Can Barely Say 

Halsey: Colors 

High Highs: Bridge 

HIM: Killing Loneliness 

Issues: Disappear (Diamond Dreams) (if you want a song to break your heart in half listen to this one) 

Jonny Craig: Children Of Divorce 

Ken Yates: New York Rain

La Dispute: Love Song For Poor Michigan (kinda obvious why I relate to this one) 

Linkin Park: Easier To Run

Linkin Park: Pushing Me Away 

Mat Kearney: Wait 

Motion City Soundtrack: Last Night 

Neck Deep: Candour

Our Last Night: Falling Away 

PVRIS: Let Them In 

Real Friends: Sixteen (There isnt a song in the whole world that I relate to more than this one) 

Roy English: As We Grow Older (there used to be a studio version but I guess there isnt anymore sorry) 

The Spill Canvas: All Over You

Steve Moakler: True Like Your Name 

Twin Atlantic: Be A Kid 

Yellowcard: Ten 

5 Seconds Of Summer: The Only Reason (The first 5sos song I ever heard and to this day its still my favorite. I was destined to be a Michael Girl) 

Liar Liar

Summary: Alexander Hamilton is an Omega, but no one else knows this. No one else can know this. Even in this day and age, Omegas are still treated as little more than slaves. No rights, no protections, nothing. Alex has to hide his rank from the world for this reason. John Laurens is an Alpha, but like Alexander, he is hiding his rank, ashamed of the Alpha he was born as. Lies stack upon lies upon more lies. How long before they all come crashing down?

Chapter 3

“Yo, Earth to Hamilton, you still with us buddy?” It was John’s voice that pulled him from the memory and he looked up, his face flushing red at the cheeks.

“Hey, welcome back space man. Did you hear anything of what I said?” John asked and Alex smiled sheepishly.

“No?” he said and John rolled his eyes, smiling.

“I asked how your work is coming along. What was it you were writing on again? I think you told me in passing the other day” John asked and Alex hummed.

“Ah, yeah. It’s about this poor omega kid from Michigan. I was doing some research and apparently he was roofied at a party and raped by three of his classmates. He had been passing as a Beta but he found out he was pregnant and now hes being sued because the rapists want him to have the kid and he wanted to abort. Not only that he’s also being sued by his school for ‘endangerment of children’ because he lied about being an Omega. Its pretty sad..” he sighed and John shook his head.

“People say its always the Omega’s fault. But if parents would teach their kids not treat other human beings as fuck toys, things like this wouldn’t be so common..ugh. God that pisses me off so much..” John said and Laf patted his shoulder.

“Not all of the Alpha’s are like this..but sadly still the ones that are out number those who aren’t. Herc, thankfully, is in the minority” He said with a small smile and Alex chuckled.

“Alright loverboy. Spill. Whats going on with you two thats got those hearts in your eyes?” Alex asked and Laf grinned.

“He’s taking me on a vacation to Paris! We’ve been saving  for a while and we finally have enough to go for the week. I’m just. Ah, I’m so excited. I’ve missed my home for so long and I told him how homesick I have been recently and he just” he paused to let out a happy sound, making Alex laugh.

“You’ve got it bad for him man. I guess it’s good, though. Alphas like Hercules give me hope for the world” he said and he hummed when he saw said man walk into the cafe.

“Well speak of the devil. We were just talking about you” Alex said and Hercules laughed.

“Anything interesting?” he teased, kissing Laf’s cheek and handing him a bag. Ah, he was just bringing Laf his lunch. Cute.

“Only the bad things” John joked and Laf swatted his arm.

“Both of you stop” he chuckled and Herc pulled a chair over to the table, taking a seat.

“So what’s the latest gossip around the workplace today?” he asked and Alex rolled his eyes some, smiling.

“Top secret. Wait until the paper comes out and read it for yourself” he said and finished off his coffee.

“That’s no fair. You know I rarely read those.” Herc huffed holding Lafayettes hand after the Frenchman rested his head on Hercules’ shoulder.

“I’m trying to get you in the habit” Alex said pointedly and John chuckled.

“I got a little gossip. I got some friends who know people in DC and I heard word that the first real Omega rights bill might pass. It’s just a rumor, but I’m really hopeful. Its to prevent omega’s from being turned away at stores and restaurants if they’re without an Alpha or Beta. It’s a small step, but they just gotta get a foot in the door.” John said and the conversation went off from there.

“There’s a rally this saturday, me and Alex are going to. You guys wanna join. We could use some muscle this time around” John said, blatantly ignoring Alex’s comment of ‘Alex and I’, with a laugh. They had told the story about the lase rally a few times now over the month, so Herc knew what he meant.

“Sure. I’m off on weekends. Honestly with us all there it’ll look less like me watching out for you guys and more like us being Al’s bodyguards” Herc said, snickering. Alex huffed.

“Yeah yeah I get it. I’m short. My bad that I have an Alpha friend and two Alpha looking Beta friends who over shadow me and my shortness” Alex muttered with a pout and John laughed.

“Oh my god don’t pout its too cute.” John snickered and Alex blinked, his heart jumping a bit.

“Again, not something I can help. I’m short and cute as hell by nature” he retorted and Laf nudged him, looking at him suggestively.

And Alex stepped on his foot under the table in retaliation.

Lunch time came and went and Alex and John had places they had to be. Walking out of the Cafe to leave the couple at their table to being all grossly cute, John stretched.

“Why are you always wearing that scarf man? Its warm out today, aren’t you hot?” John asked as Alex was fixing it after it had started to slip.

“I have a scar on my neck from a few years ago. Its really not flattering. I don’t like people looking at it” He said simply. It wasn’t a lie, at least.. John hummed and nodded.

“Fair enough. If it makes you uncomfortable then you do whatever you need to” he said hands shoved into his pants pockets. Alex smiled some and nodded.

“Thanks for understanding man”

The week came and went and Laf had cleared his schedule to join his lover and friends at the Omega’s Rights rally. Laf had only been to one with Alex before and he had been really anxious because it had been really..hectic, that first time.

“Laf c’mon you’re about to go and see him, stop texting Herc and help me get these waters in my bag. Oh and  toss me my suppressants I need to take one for today” he said as he got his sign Laf had helped him make. It was simple with the most recent phrase for the movement, but he liked it. It was just a white sign that said ‘I Stand For Freedom!   OmegaRights2k17’.

“Of course of course. Ah…here we are” Laf hummed as he walked from the other room.

“Thanks Laf. You almost ready to go?” he asked as he popped a pill into his hand and took it with some water.

“Mm. Herc said he’s picking up John first then swinging by to get us. Apparently there’s talk that some..less than pleasant people there. He doesn’t want to risk us all walking there to meet up” Laf murmured as he got a water for himself to sip on.

“Hm..Well if anything goes down I can hold my own pretty well and John sure as hell can too.” he hummed, adjusting the scarf around his neck. Laf snickered.

“Well..John might be able to, but you can sure run circles around them and confuse them until John can get them” he said with a laugh and Alex huffed.

“Does this give you an ego boost. Picking on an Omega. Because I’ll have you know sir-” he was cut off at the knock at the door and he got up from the floor, hiding his suppressants in his bag before going to the door. Opening it, he was met with the faces of his two friends.

“Hey guys. Thank god youre here Herc if I heard Laf say another word about missing you I might have chucked myself out the nearest window” he teased as he looked back at his friend over his shoulder, who rolled his eyes at Alex’s words.

“Well I’ll have him off your hands soon enough” Herc laughed as Alex let them inside. Ah, that was right. Laf was moving out soon and moving in with Herc. Ugh that would be great. Not. He’d have to look for another roommate to keep up with the rent.

“Great, take him. I can live without his makeup spread all over the bathroom” he snickered, but Laf knew Alex wasn’t taking the move great. They were really close, so Alex would have to adjust with someone else living with him. Not to mention he would have to start hiding his rank again..his name was on the lease and that was a big illegal no-no for Omega’s.

“I’m offended” Laf said in mock hurt and Alex snickered.

“You have to admit you have a lot of stuff in that bathroom. I have one bottle of 2 in one shampoo and conditioner and a brush for my hair. Everything else in there is all you man” he laughed as Laf opened a mouth to protest, then closed it in defeat.

“Thats what I thought. He, you okay, John? You’re awfully quiet.” Alex hummed as he sat back on the floor with his signs and bag.

“Yeah..just..did Laf tell you about the rumors going around about the rally?..” John finally spoke, leaning against a wall, looking anxious. Alex looked confused, shaking his head.

“No, he didn’t. Whats up?” Alex asked, looking at Laf and then back to John.

“Theres this..Alpha group coming to protest the rally..and..they’re bringing their Omega’s to ‘set an example’” John said, sounding disgusted. Alex froze. Thats why Laf didn’t tell him..shit.

“Jesus..” he muttered and John nodded.

“Yeah. If I get arrested, promise you’ll bust me out” John said, trying to joke and Alex tried to force a smile.

“No promises. I could act as your illegal lawyer who still isnt out of law school. If that fails then I’ll rally the guys at work to break you out” he hummed, sipping on his water.

“I’ll hold you to that man. Because if I see something like that I’m gonna go down for manslaughter” he sighed and Alex managed to smile.

“Actually they’d probably get you for murder 1 at the least.” he said and John hummed.

“I can live with that. They cant prove it was premeditated if y’all don’t snitch on me” he laughed softly and the others laughed as well. Against his better judgement, Alex tried to keep positive that everything would be okay.

'wildlife' songs for the signs - la dispute
  • aries: edward benz, 27 times // I carry your image, your grandfather’s coffin. and Ed, if you hear me, I think of you often. that’s all I can offer, that’s all that I know how to give.
  • taurus: you and I in unison // but if I still hear you singing in every city I meet. after I blur it all out, our every memory, if you never fade with the days, your shape still haunting me then, should I not just sing along?
  • gemini: harder harmonies // And when you sing the wrong thing it all starts collapsing. starts to ring out and feedback, starts lapsing and crashing, on notes that don’t clash, but that never quite feel like they match. and I never quite feel like mine match.
  • cancer: edit your hometown // and now my friends have all left. or it’s been me gone all along. I guess we all part one day and drop like leaves into the breeze. and ain’t it wild? ain’t it bitter? (didn’t it carry you from me?)
  • leo: a poem // see, lately I’ve hated me for over-playing pain. for always pointing fingers out at everyone but who in fact is guilty and for picking at my scabs, like they could never break but they can and they will
  • virgo: a letter // I’ve never spent a lot on finding a remedy. I guess I figured that it hurt for a reason. I guess that’s why I’ve always turned to writing it down. not just in stories, but the letters in between. and I guess that’s why it haunts the pages of everything - to self-examine.
  • libra: the most beautiful bitter fruit // after sundown, before sleeping, I am the worst of me. I am a mess of these old themes and the murmur of half-dreams whisper seductively and stage scenes.
  • scorpio: I see everything // no, I will never forget you, now six or seven years later I’m devoid of all faith. I am empty of comfort and I am weary of waiting, though I’ve felt nowhere what you have, I see nothing at all. though I’ve felt nowhere what he did, my eyes are closed.
  • sagittarius: a broken jar // I know I knocked the table over because I watched the jar break, and I’ve been trying to repair it every single stupid day, but won’t the cracks still show no matter how well it’s assembled? can I ever just decide to let it die and let you go?
  • capricorn: king park // I want to know what the colour of the blood was spilling out from the tarp onto the concrete. I want to write it all down so I can always remember. if you could see it up close how could you ever forget how senseless death, how precious life. I want to be there when the bullet hit.
  • aquarius: safer in the forest/love song for poor michigan // last snowfall left splinters and some winters never end; neither wane nor wear. and sunshine is like lovers and some summers just pretend; only warm the air. it’s that I’m tired of the feeling here.
  • pisces: st paul missionary baptist church blues // made me wonder if there’s anyone like that for you and me, and anybody else who broke and lost hope.