poor kings

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Gandalf did you realise that the transition from ranger to King of Gondor was a PRETTY FREAKING BIG ONE

EDIT: guys please stop leaving snide comments trying to educate me on whether or not he was ready, this was just a bit of fun, sheesh. Can’t believe I actually had to say that)

Andreil Massages Turned War Turned Aaron will Never Enter The Columbia House Again.

This was a hc u thought up today some major help from @cabeswaterexy they are the best human i have ever met and i love them to death.

of course Neil starts this because he just likes being allowed to touch Andrew and to make Andrew feel good, so after a really hard game where Andrew did as Neil asked and shut down the goal,  Neil notices that he’s favoring his right arm. So when they get back to the dorm and they’re sitting in bed, both without shirts, Neil hovers his hand above Andrew’s shoulder and asks yes or no. Andrew thinks that Neil just wants to touch so he says yes. And at first, yeah that’s all he does: touch. He gets a bit lost in the hard muscles, and he starts thinking about how strong and solid Andrew is and how safe he feels. So he ends up with that stupid fucking idiot smile that makes Andrew flick him in the forehead. And then he presses down, gently at first in case this  isn’t okay bit harder when Andrew doesn’t tell him no. And Andrew is confused for a minute because Neil is giving him a massage??? Why??? This has never happened before but Andrew can’t even be mad because he is melting. Neil switched between the arms for a while before he notices that Andrew has slumoed forward and fallen asleep on Neil’s shoulder. Neil is freaking out because Andrew fell asleep??? On him??? He’s trusted??? But as much as Neil doesn’t want to move, he also doesn’t want to fall asleep sitting up so he says Andrews name quietly and urges him to lay down. The way their bed is, Neil is on Andrew’s left but because Andrew sleeps on his side, Neil still has access to Andrew’s right arm, which he takes after he’s given permission and starts to massage again until Andrew falls asleep. Neil doesn’t stop smiling for a few days.

In Andrew’s mind, there can only ever be an equal exchange so he feels the need to pay Neil back somehow. Which is how he finds himself kneeling between Neil’s legs after practicing with a pissed off Kevin and asking Yes or No? But Neil has already said yes before Andrew can finish which makes him scowl. But he’s not going to argue so he just puts his hands on Neil’s thighs and starts to knead. It is a very good thing that Kevin sleeps like the sea because Neil is not quiet. At all. Which is a bit of a problem for Andrew, who is sitting between Neil’s thighs and looking down at his flushed face as he whimpers and moans and shakes. And when Andrew gets to a particularly sore spot, Neil let’s out a breath “There. Right there” and it makes Andrew hate him more.

This leads to a lengthy make out session

Obviously. Because when Andrew finally works out any knots he’s been focused on Neil’s legs and not his stupid face so he looks up and Neil’s cheeks are flushed and his hair is a mess and his eyes are glassy and he’s all relaxed and it punched all the air out of Andrew’s lungs so he hovers over Neil and asks yes or no. Neil says yes and it’s all relaxed and soft and breathy and Andrew fucking hats him but he kisses him like he doesn’t and at some point Neil pulls away and cautiously raises a leg while asking yes or no. Andrew says yes so Neil brings his legs up and hooks his ankles behind Andrew’s back and you’d have to fight me for literal years to convince me Andrew doesn’t have a thing for Neil’s thighs and Neil doesn’t have a thing for Andrew’s shoulders so anyway Andrew’s is all for this and making out and Neil is def not quiet and he’s already soft and pliant from the massage so he just keeps making little noises against Andrew’s mouth and Andrew would kill him but he thinks if those noises stop it would be an epic tragedy

One of Neil’s favourite things is when Andrew has casual displays of strength, so when Andrew hooks his hands around Neil’s shoulders and pulls him up as if he weighs nothing?? Neil is gone

Their kissing is soft and unhurried and eventually Andrew moves onto Neil’s neck while Neil kisses his shoulders and slowly falls asleep and Andrew has to carry him to bed

They get an apartment together and Neil “accidentally” ends up with everything that goes in the bottom cupboards and at first Andrew thinks Neil is making fun of him or smth (which doesn’t makes sense bc he’s short too?) he can’t figure it out until he catches Neil staring (again) at his shoulders as he lifts a bag of flour and Neil doesn’t even noice Andrew watching him back as long as Andrew’s shoulders keep moving and flexing

When they go shopping for clothes Andrew keeps buying Neil running shorts and of course Neil is an idiot and thinks that Andrew keeps buying a particular brand because Neil likes it, but really it’s because that brand hugs his ass the best and shows off so much thigh and Neil doesn’t even notice when Andrew does his weights right in front of Neils treadmill when they in the gym

They’re both basically in a race to kill each other with choice body parts but they’re the ones making it worse for themselves because Neil is always getting Andrew to lift things and Andrew buys the shorts and really, it’s going to build up to a very epic outlet of these pent of feelings cough sex montage cough

It gets to the point where Neil starts to hide Andrew’s shirts until all he can wear are muscle tees. And Andrew starts buying Neil leggings because holy hell his legs look so Fucking delicious in leggings

Nicky has walked in on Neil staring at Andrew’s shoulders and Andrew glaring at Neil’s thighs

And since Neil’s thighs looks great bc of the running so does his ass and when Andrew discovers that and leggings the world basically ends

Kevin walks in one day to them standing in the living room with handfuls of each other’s clothes just glaring at each other because Neil tried to wear loose sweats and Andrew tried to wear a sweatshirt and they’ve been threatening to burn everything for about an hour

When Andrew takes a shower, Neil will go in and take his shirt, and when Neil’s showering Andrew  switches his pants

It gets ridiculous at one point but they still won’t talk about it and people are starting to notice these two losers so what else is there to do but pack each other’s bags and go to Columbia where Neil finds t shirts and leggings as his whole bag and Andrew has all tanks (there’s even one of those ones that shouldn’t even count as a shirt because the arm holes go to like the bottom of his ribs) and jeans and sweats and they’re alone which means the tormenting gets worse until Neil comes back from a run and Andrew has had enough okay and he is Neil flushed and sweaty and mischievous looking and his legs and his ass okay Andrew can’t take it anymore

They take multiple showers that day

They get clean in none of them

They try… once or twice

They aren’t too mad

And then someone’s on their knees or shutting off the water to drag the other to somewhere easier to do Whatever

There are trails of water all over

They have to come to an agreement about clothes because they love it, but Nicky has been giving Neil looks and it’s Andrew’s fault

There are hickeys in only kind-of easy to hide places

Nicky gets them those sex dice and will never know that they’ve used them

Aaron would die if he knew what had happened everywhere in that house

They definitely have done some things in Aaron’s room out of spite

Nicky did it for a prank. Aaron makes a comment once about “lets eat somewhere where you two haven’t had sex” but he’s joking except suddenly Neil can’t look at him or anywhere

Neil is blushing hard and Andrew is smirking. All he says is “good luck with that one”

And then Aaron snarls in disgust and mutters about taking his food to his room and it pisses Neil off so he says “you might want to clean it” and Aaron’s like it’s clean I saw it earlier but Neil just smirks and Aaron is horrified and Nicky is /cackling/

Aaron refuses to sleep in his room now and demands to know where they haven’t had sex and Neil just points to the front porch

Aaron is pissed, Nicky is proud, Neil is embarrassed and Andrew is smug

Guardians of Notra pt. 1
  • Random New Blood, sets their hand on Cal's: If I touch someone, I can feel their feelings.
  • Cal: that's nice.
  • Random New Blood: You feel love.
  • Cal: yeah, I guess yeah, I feel a general unselfish love for just about everybody-
  • Random New Blood: No... sexual love...
  • Cal: No, no I dont-
  • Random New Blood, points to Mare: FOR HER!
  • Cal: NO!
  • Kilorn, busts out laughing: SHE JUST TOLD EVERYONE YOUR DEEPEST DARKEST SECRET!
  • Cal: Dude come on, I think you're overreacting a little bit.
  • Kilorn: YOU MUST BE SO EMBARRASSED!
  • Mare: blushing a lot
  • Kilorn, bouncing up and down and grabbing the New Blood's hand: DO ME! DO ME! DO ME!
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#EVERYBODY WANTED TO KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO IF I DIDN’T WIN #I GUESS WE’LL NEVER KNOW