poor choices all around

Avengers Fic: The Best of Life and Asgard, Pt. 3

((Warning: This story will contain sexual situations involving individuals under the influence of alcohol, and thus are not capable of full informed consent.  All sexual situations will involve established partners who would likely be getting it on with or without the alcohol, but please use caution with respect to your own  comfort level.  Also, this story will be very silly.  I need silly right now.

The first parts can be found here: http://scifigrl47.tumblr.com/post/39391191226/avengers-fic-the-best-of-life-and-asgard-pt-1   and   http://scifigrl47.tumblr.com/post/41659478814/avengers-fic-the-best-of-life-and-asgard-pt-2 ))

“That was unpleasant,” Tony said.

“Aye,” Sif said, the word flat. “That it was.” She shifted, hefting a sleeping Jane a little higher on her back. Jane snored against Sif’s hair, her arms draped limply over Sif’s shoulders. Most of her skirt was gone, and Darcy was balancing one of Jane’s shoes on her head, but Sif had convinced Natasha to stop juggling her throwing knives, so that was a plus. Darcy was wearing a tablecloth like a toga, and was carrying a loaf of bread in her arms, cradling it like a baby. Sif looked at Darcy. “Where are your rooms?”

“Please,” Darcy said, her nose in the air. Jane’s shoe fell off her head, and Natasha snagged it out of mid-air. She almost fell over doing it, but no one else seemed to notice. “I don’t put out on the first date.”

“'Tis fine,” Sif said, her eyes dancing. “As this is not a date.”

Darcy’s eyes narrowed. “Ooooooh,” she said after a second. “OOOOOH! Great! This way.” She bounced off, and laughing, Sif carried Jane after her. Natasha swayed after them, and managed not to run into any walls. More than that, she managed to look sexy while barely keeping herself upright.

“I think I need a shower,” Clint said. He held up his hands, considering them. His blinking white eyes were stark against his soot-covered face. “I think maybe I should do that.”

“You look like an nineteenth century chimney sweep,” Tony said, trying not to wince at the jet black footprints Clint was leaving on his rugs. “You don’t need a shower. You need a fire hose.” Clint sneezed, and that was unpleasant. “Or a waterfall. Do me a favor, try not to touch anything.”

Clint nodded. Took one step forward, and tripped over the end table. Soot went in all directions.

Keep reading

  • What she says: I'm fine
  • What she means: there were so many ways the crystal gems could have caught peridot. Amethyst could have wrapped her whip around her and tug her down, or pearl could have shot her with her sword like she did when amethyst and her had that fight in the kindergarten, and there were a lot of things garnet could of done. But instead they just tried weighing her down, which does show us how strong peridots flight fingers are. Also, peridot did not have to cut off her own leg? That was a little too much. She could have used her free hand to zap Stevens fingers, or even just simply kick Steven in the face, he is half human after all. It was just a lot of poor choices, but a good episode all around.