pooping houses

Hello neighbour from hell, may I help renovate your house?

Strap your seatbelts, this will be Odyssey long one. First thing first, let me take some time to introduce you to Cruella de Vil of this story, who I hated for many years with a fury of a thousand raging diarrheas. You know that joke if you had a gun with two bullets and you were in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and x-person, you would shoot x-person twice? Well, not only would I shoot her, I would proceed to beat her with gunstock, perform exorcism on her lifeless body (just in case) and then burry the remains. She is stereotypical neighbour from hell. And hell is in this case the Mediterranean.

I live in a medium sized Mediterranean town with ancient heritage; all the houses are old and jammed close to each other. My neighbourhood is also made of these stone houses which share walls, so for instance when my neighbour to the right plays guitar in his bedroom, I hear it in my living room (I don’t mind him though, he is always really quiet, respects the hours and plays Rolling Stones and Metallica really well) and when I fart in my toilet, Cruella on the left side hears it clearly. Suits her well.

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signs as embarrassing things

ig//horoscopezone

Aries: Old text messages with 7th exes 
Taurus: Pooping at someone else’s house 
Gemini: Singing the wrong lyrics to a song
Cancer: Pretend to text while actually taking selfies 
Leo: Themselves 
Virgo: Forgetting the name of the person they’ve met more than once
Libra: Walking in on someone in the bathroom 
Scorpio: Social media stalking 24/7
Sagittarius: Waving to someone who wasn’t waving to you 
Capricorn: Watching a sex scene with you parents 
Aquarius: Old youtube channel videos 
Pisces: Make up plans so you can stay home and binge watch 24/7

:)

Brown Bear Patronus Aesthetic

|REQUESTED|

Brown Bears are feared by many people because of news that is reported by them, there size and strength. Bears are creatures that are much more than size and strength. They are incredibly intelligent and social creatures, they create relationship and bonds amongst each other and share their resources. Bears are protective over there family and there young.

People with a Brown bear patronus have a very down to earth personality, they have have a lot of mental strength that comes from friendships and relationships and the need to protect people. Bear patrnous’ are prepared for any situation and can handle things with care.

The Celts venerated the bear goddess, Artio - like a mother bear she was a fiercely protective influence. The bear god Artaois is closely linked to the warrior-king, Arthur; with his legendary strength and fighting prowess, Arthur’s name and emblem both represent this animal. Celtic families would often have their own animal totem, a tradition that is still evident in the family name McMahon, which means ‘son(s) of the bear’.

Viking warriors were famous for working themselves into an insane battle frenzy. They invoked the bear spirit, at times even donning a bear skin, to imbue them with superhuman strength and fury. These were the Berserkers, their name being derived from a Norse word meaning ‘bear shirt’.

In Greek legend, Zeus fell in love with the huntress Callisto, and she bore him a son named Arcas. In a fit of jealous rage, Zeus’s wife turned Callisto into a bear. Time passed, and one day Arcas was out hunting. How was he to know that the bear he was stalking was his own mother?! On seeing that Callisto’s life was in danger, Zeus whisked her up into the night sky out of harm’s way. She can still be seen in the constellation Ursa Major, the Great Bear.

In Native American folklore there are many tales about bears. It is highly respected as the ‘keeper of dreams’, and 'the keeper of medicine’, and is one of the most powerful totems.

In 1902, U.S. President Theodore ('Teddy’) Roosevelt was on a hunting trip along the Mississippi, but showed mercy to an old bear he could have easily taken as a trophy. The story of this act spread quickly, and the Teddy Bear was born.

anonymous asked:

DA:I Companions and advisers react to an Inquisitor who has a pet parrot? One that likes to perch on the Inky's shoulder and repeats swearwords that it hears from other people.

Cassandra: She was irritated by the bird because all it did for the days while the Herald was unconscious was squawk incessantly at anyone who it didn’t recognize and perch on the Herald, trying in vain to wake their beloved. Still, she doesn’t comment, because when the Herald is finally out and about, so is the bird, who brings them comfort. The parrot ends up growing on her, slowly but surely, though the first few times it perches on her, she freezes and is unsure of what to do.

Iron Bull: The parrot loves his horns as perches. “Alright, you little shit factory,” he says, amused, “you can sit up there all you like, long as you don’t mistake my head for a latrine.” The bird often bluntly asks for food if he’s eating nuts, and he argues with them before grumbling and giving in, much to the bird’s delight.

Blackwall: He’s never gotten up close to one before, and he’s not sure how to react. He just stares until the parrot starts talking to him, and he blinks in surprise. He enjoys talking to the parrot, especially after his secret is revealed, because it’s not in the least concerned about it and will still talk to him readily, even if it seems nonsensical at times.

Sera: She loves the parrot. She loves playing with it and talking to it and trying to teach it words. The parrot decides they like her, and if the bird isn’t perched on the Herald and cuddling, the parrot’s perched on her or Bull or a few of the other party members. She spoils it.

Varric: He tries telling the parrot stories to see what will happen, and finds that the bird likes it, sometimes repeating phrases back at him– or just over and over again at random times, sometimes annoying Cassandra. Varric greatly approves.

Cole: “They know the words and what words mean more than people think. Side-stepping, dancing, the humans will call me pretty and ooh and ahh and give me treats, it’s all as easy as talking. They are happy because you love them and care for them and give them attention.” He smiles. “It is good.” The bird likes him because of how calm he can be, and he always seems to know where they want scritches.

Dorian: He’s seen a few magisters with them, often neglected and sad once the owners tire of the novelty, so it pleases him to see the happy, well-kept and stimulated bird, who he enjoys having conversations with. He’ll bounce his theories and theorems off of the bird, who’s just happy to talk with him. “You are quite beautiful,” he says wryly one day, “but not as much as me.” This offends the bird, and it shocks him when it says ‘fuck you.’ “Did you learn that, by chance, from Sera?” he asks dryly. “No matter. There’s no need to ruffle your feathers over the matter. We can both be pretty.”

Solas: Parrots fascinate him, he discovers. He tries holding conversations with the bird to see how far its intelligence goes, and is pleased. He almost considers talking with the bird about his internal problems, but quickly decides against it, despite how nice it would be to have an outlet– don’t need a bird outing a wolf.

Vivienne: Like Dorian, she’s seen nobles who get the birds, get bored of them, and neglect them. While she’s not all that into keeping pets, she can at least admire how well the bird is kept– a parrot is a living creature, and deserves respect. Her nose wrinkles when she sees anyone in the party trying to teach it swear words, and she hopes it never repeats these words at any nobles. “Don’t repeat that, Darling.” she says dryly to the parrot as Sera tries to teach it new words.

Josephine: She thinks it’s adorable, up until it starts cursing at Roderick and Marquis DuRellion. Then she spends time looking for the best animal trainer to somehow get the bird to stop saying those inappropriate words. Sometimes the bird hums a tune, though, and it makes her calm down a little.

Leliana: If no one’s looking or in earshot, she’ll consider busting out the lute and singing a song to the bird, just to watch it dance and revel in the sound of music. Birds listen and enjoy music much like humans do, and she finds a little solace in interacting with the parrot. She compliments the Herald on their companion and their care of the parrot.

Cullen: He’s honestly surprised it survived all of this nonsense, and while he initially voices a bit of concern about the bird’s safety, the bird pitches such a fit when separated from their owner for extended periods of time that he lets it go. At one point, when he’s having a particularly bad headache from lyrium withdrawal, the parrot finds him and sits on his shoulder, puffing up and cuddling against his head, gently trying to kiss his head and groom his hair. The company is welcome.

BONUS- MOD SARAH COMMENTS ABOUT PARROTS:

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OH MY GOD I FUCKED UP SO BAD.

I SAW THE CARDS AGAINST HUMANITY “BULLSHIT” SALE YESTERDAY AND BOUGHT IT THINKING IT WAS AN EXPANSION PACK.

IT’S LITERALLY BULL SHIT. THEY ARE SENDING COW POOP TO MY HOUSE AND I HAVE NO CLUE HOW I’M GOING TO EXPLAIN IT TO MY PARENTS.

House of Memories

“-my dad really wasn’t around. It was mostly me and Sammy. I practically raised the little snot.” Letting out a soft snort, Dean rolled onto his back and metaphorically purred at the feel of the soft sheets slide across the skin of his back. Staring up at the ceiling, he set his arm across his chest and let himself pour out his life’s story to this complete stranger lying next to him. “I don’t blame my dad. He lost his wife. The love of his life was suddenly gone one day without warning. I mean… I can’t even begin to know what that must’ve been like.”

The young man beside him hummed thoughtfully, his blue eyes staring at Dean’s profile from where he lay on his side. “You’re very mature. I know people who have had worse backstories and became worse people than you.”

Grinning, Dean turned onto his side to meet Castiel’s eyes. For a second, as he stared into the infinite blue, his chest swelled so large in itself he thought he would suffocate. “Thanks, Cas.”

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FC House Offer on Balmung

Hi there !

No I’m not leaving my house nor will give away the one of my FC but I’m here to offer something maybe a little peculiar.
My husband owns a small house in Goblet and decided to take a break until Stormblood. To not lose it until he will be back we transferred the ownership to one of my alt temporary. Thus I now have a small house for which I have no use and while I could think of something for it, I would rather prefer it to become a temporary shelter for a FC. 

This is my offer : I will let a FC use the house and all its facilities until the release of the Stormblood housing. In exchange the only things I ask is for the FC to not turn it into a personal house and to try to get a FC house when the 4th housing area will be released. The FC will be free to do anything they want with the house, it is completely empty so the decoration and the use will be the FC decision. You won’t have to leave anything inside when you’ll leave, nothing to give to me, nothing to do beside having fun and using this house to create stories with your friends.
On my side I won’t come inside the house except to reset the timer, won’t use the garden, won’t take your furniture and really you won’t owe me anything and I demand nothing.

If you are interested, please > fill this form < I ask a few questions about your FC and your plans to be able to make a choice. I will take my decision the 15th of march.

Whether or not you’re interested I would be glad if you could sigboost ♥ !

a Short Accounte of some unusual and moste Exceptionall Out-houses, discovered by the author through Out her many travels across Azerothe, and given frank Ratings in accordance with their quality and Intrigue

1. The Dalaran Jack Shack

location: the walls outside of dalaran in the broken isles
description: i have already given a brief account of this outhouse in a previous post but, because it is a most striking specimen, i shall endeavor to describe it again here. outside of dalaran there is an outhouse that is, in of itself, fairly standard. through the portcullis on the door one can immediately see a pin up of a goblin woman affixéd to the wall opposite. if the observer then proceeds to jump, or to angle the camera downwards, they can then glimpse inside the outhouse a nude human male, who cannot be targeted as has no name. the implication, doubtless, is that this man is perpetually jacking it hardcore on kirin tor municipal property
rating: a solid 7/10. the premise of this out-house is a most puerile one, but the Joake is undertaken with great simplicity and brevity. in the parlance of the times i must remark that i would, indeed, Jack Again

2. The Deadliest Poop House in Hellfire

location: expedition point in hellfire peninsula 
description: behind the vast and smoldering corpse of a fel reaver stands two outhouses, so situated as to resemble robust wooden sentinels observing the scene before them. the first of these outhouses is unremarkable. the second, which is pictured here, has before it the skeleton of some unfortunate, cradling a bottle in their last moments, holding the door shut with what little is left of their body. an alliance soldier patrols endlessly in front of this outhouse, her sword drawn and her expression grim, as if to prevent any hapless venturer from attempting to enter it. there appears to be nothing inside
rating: 8.5/10. the fact that this is in hellfire peninsula, a zone i hate, is a mark against it, but i will admit that there is a level of enigma here that is hard to ignore. there is a story to this outhouse, a grave and frightful story, and one we will never quite know the true beginning, middle, or end of

3. Tim Burton’s Corpse Bride

location: brill, in tirisfal glades, behind the inn
description: the outhouse itself is plain, drab, and dutifully silent, as all outhouses ought to be. what makes this outhouse notable is the most curious scene in which it is embroiled. a forsaken woman of silent demeanor and haunting beauty stands outside of this outhouse for all of the day and all of the night, dressed in a sombre black wedding dress and grasping roses of a similar hue (not pictured) in her bony hand. no explanation is given for her presence in this location – the outhouse itself is perpetually vacant, making it unlikely that she is simply waiting in line to use it. next to the outhouse is an open coffin full of turds
rating: 10/10. this is the perfect outhouse set up and if i die ever i hope i also get to spend all of eternity standing around poop coffins in a fancy dress

anonymous asked:

Hi there! I have a quick chicken question. How often do they poop? I wanna bring my future chickens inside from time to time but I don't want them pooping all over the house. Or have them on my lap and pooping on me. What should I keep in mind?

i think chickens poop about once every 30 minutes? surprisingly, none of my chickens have ever pooped on me. they normally have the decency to leave and poop somewhere else. i have to clean poop occasionally but its not super excessive. you could also consider chicken diapers if you want them inside for a really long amount of time. 

anonymous asked:

So I was thinking about those awkward first moments of couples (like the first time they poop at the others house, or the first time they burp or fart that sort of thing...) do you think you could draw that?