poop-talks

CONCERT RECAP HERE WE GO

-Honda Center was really bad at letting everyone in on time we got in literally at 8
-But it’s chill we made it to our seats in time
-Okay so they started w Not Today and I literally died on the spot
-NAMJOON AND JIN ARE SO FREAKIN TALL HOLY CRAP
-Jimin was so extra he was like a walking sin
-Jungkook was adorable and his English was so good
-Hobi’s smile literally shined its way to my heart
-Tae was SO HOT I SCREAMED
-Yoongi. Yoongi. Yoongi. Every time I looked at him I wanted to cry because I was like ???? He is literally the most beautiful and amazing man on the planet and I was feet away from him W O W
-Their solo stages were all perfect. Like literally I can’t even describe them in words
-Namjoon’s hit me so hard I started crying Reflection is so good
-The special effects were on POINT
-So they played Baepsae second and let me tell you I was NOT ready for those hip thrusts especially Yoongi’s I literally stopped breathing
-Anyways back to the solo stages
-Jungkook’s was so good his dance was AMAZING LIKE BOY CAN MOVE HIS BODY WOW he seriously did so so so good I cant
-Jimin’s was straight gorgeous like he has 0 flaws 10/10 would die for Park Jimin
-Yoongi’s made me cry also because the emotion was basically tangible. Boy is so passionate.
-not to mention the fact that they had a mini ORCHESTRA START PLAYING HALFWAY THROUGH THE SONG AND IT THREW ME A CURVE BALL I WAS BAWLING
-Literally Yoongi is perfect someone help
-Tae’s stage was STUNNING THATS ALL I CAN SAY
-Jin basically made me cry too good job with those high notes I fell over inside
-Am I Wrong was SO GOOD THEY DID AMAZING THEIR DANCE WAS SO FUN
-21st Century Girl was also so fun you could tell they were just having a blast and like they all killed me at the same time it was magical
-ALSO THEY RANDOMLY performed Dope like I was not expecting that and it was SO GOOD THE BEAT WAS INCREDIBLE
-Lost was hecka emotional my vocal line is so good
-So at one point they did this giant mashup of a ton of their older songs like N.O. started playing and I was like hOLD UP
-Like War of Hormone too I think and tons of their other songs and Kookie started rapping and I was like THROWBACK TO THE FIRST TIME I DIED
-OKAY SO HOBI’S SOLO STAGE WAS LITERALLY SO GOOD THIS DUDE WAS BORN TO PERFORM
-Like Mama was L I T and then at the end he just kind of said really quickly “THANKS MOM” and it was HILARIOUS
-Boy Meets Evil was so intense I pooped
-OKAY WE’RE GONNA TALK ABOUT CYPHER NOW AND I’M GOING TO PASS OUT
-Literally as soon as it started I was just like “oh no”
-If u didn’t know Cypher was the song I was most pumped about bc Yoongi’s rap k i l l s me
-All 3 of them were wearing these like crazy sugar daddy robes RIP
-So Namjoon comes out just blasting right
-And I fell over inside again but this time I actually died
-Like they were so freakin lit I’m dead
-Hobi slayed everyone within the first 2 seconds of his part
-THEN HOLY CRAP THE MOMENT MY BRAIN STOPPED WORKING AND MY HEART STOPPED BEATING
-YOONGI
-HE IS THE COOLEST PERSON ALIVE AND HIS FLOW IS SO SMOOTH YET PASSIONATE IM SCREAMING RIPRIPRIPRIP
-Okay yes anyways
-Cypher ended my life the end
-jk moving on before I have another heart attack
-So after Cypher I’m WINDED
-BUT THEN THEY ALL COME OUT IN THESE RED JACKETS AND IM LIKE
-oh no
-I’ve seen the fancams
-FIRE
-IT WAS SO LIT
-Like the dance break toward the end just
-J I M I N
-Also side note like most of the time when the whole group was performing I couldn’t take my eyes off of Namjoon he just has such a strong stage presence and he’s SO TALL I LOVE HIM
-okay where were we
-oh yes fire
-DEAD
-after fire they talked for a little bit and it was cute and my voice disappeared bc I screamed too hard during Cypher
-So I know I’m skipping around everywhere sorry it’s all I giant mushy jumble in my brain
-But they did Run at one point and it was so exciting bc they had giant gold streamers just shoot everywhere and I felt like I was in a movie it was so perfect
-Did I already talk about 21st century girl? I think so BUT
-It was so lit okay so lit
-So after that they talked to us again for a while and their English was so good you could tell they were trying and I LOVED IT
-BLOOD SWEAT TEARS WAS A KILLER HOLY CRAP I’VE NEVER FELT SO ATTACKED
-They looked AMAZING during it like wow the most attractive men in the world I swear
-So then Namjoon was like “bYE” and they all ran off stage and we were like ??????
-And so we did the rainbow ocean thing and I wanted to cry again
-So united and wow
-so after like 5 minutes of all of us just yelling
-They came out and did Outro:Wings and it was so good bc they were on the close stage and I swear Namjoon is so attractive help I’m swerving
-JK ILY YOONGS
-Oops ok here we go
-So after Wings they talked and again they were so good??? AND AND
-Namjoon was like “I’d like to take this time to thank my mom for emphasizing learning English because now I can talk to you guys”
-And I cried again bc Joonie luvs his mom how sweet I’m dead
-Yoongi was like “never forget me” and I was like BOI I COULDNT IF I TRIED
-Jungkook seriously sounded so fluent I was so proud
-Jimin was adorable
-Hopie was wild
-Tae was also wild
-JIN JIN JIN HE HAD THIS CUTE LITTLE PAPER HEART THAT HE MADE AND HE JUST WHIPPED IT OUT AND ALL THE OTHER MEMBERS DIED OF EMBARRASSMENT AND LAUGHTER AND I WAS SCREAMING
-Jin is so so so funny and cute
-Rapmon looks amazing in baseball hats
-So then after they talked rapmon was like “Kay last song”
-And again we were all like ??????
-But then 2!3! Started and I was like
-Here come the tears
-Like they were all just standing in a line on the close stage and they were so emotional I was so emotional everyone was emotional
-Jin hit those high notes like a god
-Jimin hit those high notes like a god
-Tae and Jungkook ended my life too
-Rap line was so passionate I could see Yoongi’s neck veins
-So after 2!3! Namjoon’s like “Kay last song” AGAIN
-and I was just like STOP LYING
-And then Spring Day started playing and I just lost it
-It was so emotional
-They were so beautiful
-Oh yeah and at one point You Never Walk Alone was playing while this video played about how all the recent concepts are intertwined and IT ACTUALLY MADE SENSE
-It was talking about how it was seven boys with one heart and one boy with seven hearts and they all reflected each other and were only happy and able to smile when they’re together IM SOBBING
-That probably made no sense to u guys I’m sorry
-After Spring Day ended they all came out on the stage and ran around and smiled and danced and were super cute and
-I just couldn’t believe I was actually there
-With them
-Just
-wow
-I’m so grateful
-so so grateful
-They stayed and ran around the stage for a good ten minutes and then it was all over
-My friend and I were just in shock we sat there dying for like fifteen minutes after it ended
-THEN OKAY ARE YOU READY FOR THE CRAZIEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE IM DEAD
-MY FRIEND AND I WERE WALKING ALONG THE STREET A WHILE AFTER IT ENDED
-Just like freaking out right
-and we were waiting at a corner
-WHEN BTS’s VAN DROVE UP AND TURNED AT THE CORNER
-RAPMON WAS IN THE FRONT AND HE STARED RIGHT AT US
-AND JUNGKOOK WAS IN THE BACK AND WE MADE EYE CONTACT FOR A SOLID FIVE SECONDS AND HE LOOKED JUNG S H O OK AND SO DID I
-LIKE IT WAS THE CRAZIEST THING EVER
-I JUST STARED AT HIM AND I COULDN’T MOVE
-I can’t even describe how beautiful he was even through a car window like he was FLAWLESS his eyes were so big and beautiful WO W
-I doubt anyone actually read this far so I doubt anyone will know that that happened to me BUT JDNDKDJDFMDFJEKDMSLNDKSAMKXNSLDFJEKXKDNKDJC
-Overall it was probably the greatest night of my life and totally worth driving across the country for. 11/10 would do again in a heartbeat.
-If you guys have any questions or want to freak out w me please message me!!!!!
-IM DEAD THEY’RE PERFECT
~L

anonymous asked:

Hello! So.. in 12x23, when Cas healed Dean, Dean seems kind of.. shy or something. Maybe he's just thankful, but the reaction was different from before -I mean, Cas healed him multiple times but I felt like Dean's reaction this time was a bit different-. Is he really shy or am I delusional? What do you think about his reaction?

Nope, there was definitely something weird about this scene, except that there was nothing weird about the way Cas shouted “Dean!” and ignored Sam and Mary at the beginning or all his previous interactions with Kelly which were just so dorky and Human it was jarring just how much they seemed to be trying to make him seem like dorky little PB&J loving, poop and pee talking CAS and not Castiel or brainwashed or whatever… 

I’m filing it under “Cas was definitely off in some ways but not in others since he got back from the AU world and lied to Kelly and tried to keep Sam and Dean away from the rift and was acting weirdly, plus all the talk about paradise made me feel worried like WTF is this? and then he goes and DIES so great, thanks for that, gotta wait til freaking october to know what is happening and he’s dead anyway so its kind of academic at this point anyway but I still want to know and it will probably be relevant but first we have to deal with whatever is going on with him being resurrected or not and what is going to happen with this freaking AU and Jack”

SPN WRITERS RIGHT NOW:

Originally posted by dennsokagi

Alright time to talk about poop drake

So earlier this week, I came home from a trip to discover that there was a drake who had taken residence in my backyard. He was…. uh. To put it simply, this guy was the jabba the hutt of drakes. He’s covered in a slime that seems to be more of icky body filth stuff than slime that is supposed to be there, and he is big. His scales are weird and misshapen because he has fat rolls upon fat rolls pushing out from beneath them. And when he leers at you, it just makes you want to shower badly.

So the night I got back, I first met him when taking the dog outside. My night gaunts also like to go outside every five minutes at night just to go outside and of course it only counts if I’m dragged out, so I’m also going for them. Anyway, I take the dog to the backyard and before I even open the fence I can smell this fucker. I work regularly with spirits associated with disease and decay, I work with physical dead smelly animals on a regular basis, and the nonphysical smell of this drake that did not reach my physical human nose was enough to make my eyes water. The big disease and decay spirits do not do that. For me to be so affected by a spirit’s smell I’m thinking “what the fuck” and absolutely flabbergasted at what the fuckity up is in the backyard.

I open it and see jabba the drake. There’s also a pile of dog toys and balls (all kinds of balls, from ones the neighbors threw over the fence and never retrieved to balls from thirty years ago which have just been sitting in the garage for no reason) in the physical location where the drake is lying. I have no flippin idea who took enough balls to fill a kaiju elephant’s asshole and dumped them in the middle of the backyard. I really do not. Perhaps someone was cleaning the garage. Doesn’t really matter and they’re still there.

So the drake tries to do this majestic pose and says in a shouting tone to me, “BEHOLD MORTAL. I HAVE TAKEN RESIDENCE IN THIS PLACE. I AM NOW THE GRAND OVERSEER OF ALL THAT I SEE.”

I’m nodding and thinking okay there sunshine, and all I say to it is, “The fuck is with the balls?”

And he replies to me in his… grand royal bellow, “I AM THE GOD OF THESE OBJECTS. I AM YOUR GOD OF BALLS BOTH BASKET AND OTHER.”

So the dog takes the opportunity to squat down and start shitting right next to where the drake is lying. I’m laughing my ass off, and the drake huffs at me and starts yelling again. “THIS IS ALSO PART OF MY DOMAIN. I HAVE COMMANDED THIS. I AM ALSO THE GOD OF ALL OF THIS.”

When he said “all of this” he energetically motioned to the ten hundred piles of dog crap in the yard which had not been cleaned yet. Also I’m pretty sure the drake was sniffing the piles of dog crap. Don’t know why. Don’t particularly want to figure it out or focus on it.

My night gaunts were Extremely Confused™ and hanging out by the power lines (I assume because it was a safe distance from the smell). None of the usual locals were around, probably because of the smell. Every damn time I’ve taken the dog outside since then has been a repeat of this. Technically the smell is not physical but people passing by (and the fence is very tall and thick, so there’s no way of telling what is inside) have wrinkled their noses and the rest of the household has seemed to notice that something they can’t place smells funky. I will probably be getting rid of this guy lol

anonymous asked:

Prompt: "here's the toilet paper I borrowed, I know its a little used but I'm sure you can do something with it."

I stare at the plastic baggie Ingrid is holding out to me. “I don’t think you understand what it is I do.”

“I know what you do,” Ingrid says indignantly. “You do sculpture!”

“I sculpt,” I correct, “but not with…human waste.”

Ingrid frowns. “It’s not waste if you use it.” She holds the bag out to my again and I try very hard not to identify any of the colors.

“I’m not touching that,” I say and take a step back to emphasize it. “Look, about this roommate thing… I don’t think it’s working out.”

Ingrid’s mouth drops open and, thankfully, her arm also drops back to her side. “What? But I– is it because I brought my boyfriend here?”

“No,” I say. I search for the right white lie but decide it’s too much effort. The truth it is. “Honestly, it’s a bunch of things. You wash paper plates?”

“It’s economical!”

“And normally I’d understand that, but we have plates. Real ones. And I still don’t know where you’re getting the paper plates. You don’t buy them.”

“It’s a funny story, actually, I was walking through Central Park and there was a birthday party–”

“No. No, do not finish that story. Do not. It’s also the compost pile.”

“It’s green!”

“It’s in the house, Ingrid. By the food. Which we eat. That’s unsanitary.”

“It won’t decompose properly outside! But if it means so much to you, I’ll get rid of it. There, are you happy?”

“Well, to be honest, no.”

“What else do I have to do? I thought you were more open than this!”

“I thought you knew what a boundary was but you keep crossing mine.”

“I don’t cross boundaries!”

“Ingrid, you are literally holding out a bag which contains toilet paper smeared with your own excrement.”

“I’m trying to help your art.”

“And I’m not trying to die because of your shit. You have until the fifteenth.”

“Oh, come on. The first at least!”

“The fifteenth.”

“How about the 20th?”

“The fifteenth.”

“Will you at least help me move?”

“No. The fifteenth.”

“I heard you the first time!”

I miss Brad and I need a bff and it's all about me today

I have free time on the weekends which means overthinking (I alluded to this in my earlier post) and I need someone that 1. Won’t hate me too much when I text them about my whiny shit constantly and 2. Will tell me when I’m being a ridiculous idiot.

Talking about poop and asking for boobs is negotiable.

All services rendered will be returned in kind. Apply within.

claraknight  asked:

❀ What has made you completely lose your chill?

aaaaaaaagh, i really wanted to put something that particularly enrages me in here but I don’t want to be a downer.  Besides the thing that makes me rage hasn’t been used within my earshot in the last half a year so I’m going to assume it’s dead and that sane people saw it as the hateful tripe it was.  I don’t want to give it space on my blog by mentioning it.

So i’m going to play it safe and say THE EMOJI MOVIE

…..I just….i just can’t. 

Every time i think about this movie it hurts me.  Everything about it from the concept up makes me hate the modern movie experience.  Even if this movie turns out to be ok, it will NEVER be Wreck it Ralph or the Lego Movie, or even Sausage Party.  It won’t even be funny bad like Food Fight.  It’s a movie about EMOJIS.  I have not seen ONE person defending this film as a good idea.

And the hits just keep coming.

Like ‘oh god we’re honestly getting a movie about frinkle wapering EMOJIS’

Originally posted by yourreactiongifs

‘Oh god they hired serious classically trained Shakespearean actor Sir Patrick Stewart to play a talking Poop in the Emoji Movie’

Originally posted by kuromeganehime

‘OH GOD THEY CANCELLED THE GENNDY TARTAKOVSKY POPEYE MOVIE TO MAKE THE FUCKING EMOJI MOVIE’

Originally posted by forfightersnotlovers

nyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh

2

Sometimes I scroll through the #futurelotterywinner tags and just remember.

I see posts from happier times, when he was alive. Talking about whatever inappropriate or funny thing he’d done.

I see posts after his death, people doing high five Friday’s in his memory, grieving.

I remember how much he made me laugh. How much he supported and encouraged me. How much he pissed me off. How much support and love he needed, too. How much he fought the addiction.

For some reason those two posts of mine above hit me hard. When I read the words “hope you slept like a nugget” it was like a gut punch. The memory of them slammed into me hard. Ugly crying.

He loved to talk about poop.

I miss him so much.