I dreamt that I was looking at my laptop screen, looking at the YouTube homepage. I saw a recommended video: “Spider-Man Makes a YTP.”
The thumbnail showed Spider-Man (the “real” Spider-Man, wearing that Halloween Spider-Man costume with the eye-holes) sitting on a sofa in a dimly lit living room, looking straight into the camera. I looked at this thumbnail for a while, wondering what kind of video it was. I imagined Spider-Man would sit on that sofa, talk about how he made a YouTube Poop, and then the poop would play at the end of the video. I clicked the thumbnail and watched.
The actual video was nothing like that. Instead what I saw was a totally different living room, with two families arguing. It was pretty intense. Some furniture got flipped over. I thought, “What does any of this have to do with Spider-Man?”
Then I was in that house. The families were in the living room, and I was down the hallway, with the kitchen to my right. I was Spider-Man. I thought “We’ve got to get some of that spaghetti out of this house.” So, I took out some webbing (the last I had) and gave some to one of the other people in the house. He was a middle aged guy. We were going to work together to steal the spaghetti. I walked into the kitchen and opened up the refrigerator. Inside was a plastic container filled to the brim with spaghetti. I checked how much web I had, and thought aloud “Let’s see, with this much webbing I could… take it all!” So I grabbed the plastic container of spaghetti (in my hands, the web was completely irrelevant) and ran through the living room and out the front door.
Once I was outside, I recognized the surroundings immediately. It was my grandparents’ neighborhood. I ran through my grandparents’ front yard, holding that container of spaghetti like my life depended on it. My heart was racing. I knew that any second an angry family would be pursuing me through the streets, and I had nowhere to run to, and no place to hide in my bright, primary red and blue colored Halloween Spidey costume. Then I looked behind me.
Out of the front door came not an angry family in want of spaghetti, but Spider-Man! I was still Spider-Man, but another Spider-Man came out of the front door. He had spaghetti too, but it wasn’t in a plastic container. He held a wad of cold spaghetti and meat sauce in his bare spider-gloves.
It only took a few seconds for him to spot me, and I knew right away that he was going to kill me.
I tried to get away. I had to save my life, and the spaghetti. The other Spidey got distracted by the hedge in my grandparents’ front yard. I thought for a brief moment “I can escape.” But then it happened. The other Spidey hurled his wad of spaghetti and meat sauce right at me. It impacted on the pavement beside me. Then he charged at me from across my grandparents’ lawn, and–.
i’m watching a ton of panel stuff from JIBCon rn and let me tell you, hearing Jensen ackles say “Oh, that’s lovely!” in his deep voice as he points a fan at his face and talks about how he actually thought How To Train Your Dragon was a cute movie is the actual best thing in existence
i’m just like clutching my chest and gasping as i whisper “oh my sweet, sweet summer sunshine” to myself