12x11 “Regarding Dean” “My name is Dean Winchester. Sam is my brother. Mary Winchester is my mom and Cas… Cas is my best friend…”
I’m sure this scene has been giffed and edited about a million times by now and really no one needs it another time on their dash, but I needed to express just how amazing Jensen’s acting here was, how you could see how the knowledge is slipping from Dean’s mind and how he desperately tries to grip it but the faster he holds on to it the more it slips away. It is actually a really sad metaphor for Dean’s entire life. ;____; How he tries to hold his family together, afraid of ending up alone and then gets to hear “everybody leaves you, Dean”. Here even Dean is leaving Dean kind of and it’s just…. ;______;
That said, I especially adored this scene, because it has been such a recurring stylstic device over the past seasons with Dean and the mirror shots. From “9x23 “Do You Believe in Miracles” when he looks at himself in the mirror when he is locked up after he cuts Gadreel and tries to assess who he is and what is happening to him to 10x17 “Inside Man” where we see Dean wash his hands after being the pool shark at the bar and he catches himself flash black eyes for a second or the most memorable last mirror scene (these are really just a handful of incidents the mirror shots have been extensively used throughout the MoC arc) moment in 10x23 “Brother’s Keeper” when Dean desperately seems to wash his hands clean looks into the mirror and sees Cas and Rudy staring back at him confronting him with what he did and what he has become. This week’s mirror moment can be seen perfectly in line with all of these other instances of mirror shots exploring the issue of identity. Countless times we have seen Dean try and touch base and asess who he is by looking at himself in the mirror and often times not liking what/who look back at him. But at least before his reflection wasn’t a blank as it is now.
So when Dean is looking into the mirror and actually directly into the camera it reads like a cry for help, he’s trying to piece together who he is by looking at himself, but this person who is looking back can’t provide any stability, may well be a stranger and has just as little knowledge who the person is that is refelected in there. After all he cannot even remember his name. And names… names hold power. But Dean lost everything, his name, himself, his identity. And yes, that is scary as hell.
“Okay, okay, yes, Lyra and I were there last night, but her brother’s
safe and sound now, so no art thievery, I swear, we just – ”
Winn, slow down. I don’t know where you and Lyra were after your
Guardian stint last night and I really don’t want to. That’s not why I’m
But I do have donuts for you, if you… I kind of… I need to talk to you… alone… I mean, I’m
sorry, you and Lyra probably have plans – ”
“Name the time and place, my favorite pool shark, and I’ll be there.”
“You gotta stop calling me that.”
“You love it.”
“Do we wanna go back to the public undecency you and Lyra apparently got up to last night?”
“Time and place, Maggie. Uh, Detective Sawyer.”
“8 o'clock. The bar okay for you?”
“Only if we can shoot some pool, my favorite… um… girlfriend of Alex’s…”
“Sure, Winn. Sure.”
She hangs up and she glances at Alex and James and Kara.
“Still not sure why you guys wanted me to be the one to call him.”
new, Maggie. If you say you want to see him without his girlfriend,
he’ll come. He likes you and he doesn’t want to get off on the wrong
foot with you.”
“Because he’s scared of me?”
“Yes, babe. You’re terrifying.”
James and Kara snort, and Alex and Maggie glare teasingly.
“You’re sure Brian’s information’s accurate?” Kara asks one more time.
One more time because Winn is happy, and Winn is giddy, and she doesn’t want to take that from him.
Or, worse, have him turn away from all of them because he’s offended by their intervention.
might be more scared of your sister than he is of me, but I’ve got fear
down to Brian’s boots. He might be a little… odd. But his intel’s
never failed me before.”
James sighs and rubs his hand over his face.
not hard to believe, Kara. I mean, I wish it were, but… you should
have seen Lyra go after that boy at the liquor store. He was just a kid,
you know, and it was like she had no empathy.”
sighs and Alex twitches. Maggie takes her hand, because she knows that
Alex, of all people, understands Lyra’s tendency to go overboard. To
cause pain, and to enjoy it. And they’re working on it together. Slowly.
They’re pretty quiet until 8 o'clock rolls around and Winn strolls into the bar.
His brow furrows immediately, and he points to each of his friends in turn.
“Is this an ambush, Sawyer? I thought it was gonna be just you and me, mano a mano, shooting shots and shooting pool and – ”
“Stop talking and sit, Schott,” Alex cuts him off, and Kara leans over to tone Alex down.
He obeys, silently, staring at James.
“What’s this about, man?”
clears his throat and folds his hands on the table. He adjusts in his
seat and he glances at Kara and he looks back at Winn and he takes a
“Winn, man, listen. I haven’t felt… I
haven’t felt like I’ve had a brother since Clark. But you, Winn? You’re
my brother. And I love that you’re happy, and you deserve that, man, you
deserve it so much. But Winn, you’re such a nice guy that it… it can
be easy for people to take advantage of you.”
“Like Kara. With Mon-el,” Maggie supplies gently, and Kara nods while holding Alex’s hand across the table.
we had an intervention for Kara about Mon-el, it… wait…” Winn looks
around and almost stands back up, but James takes one shoulder and
Maggie takes another, and they gently, very gently, push him back down
to sit. “Is this an… intervention? About Lyra? Because I talked to
her, James, and I told you, if you don’t want her on team Guardian, she
won’t be, I talked to her – ”
“Yeah, and she
apparently broke a glass and did a lot of screaming and accusing you of
calling her crazy, Winn,” Kara says, her eyes soft, her voice almost
Winn looks at each of them in turn, stammering.
she’s passionate, okay? She just wants to help, and she felt like I was
calling her crazy and telling her she wasn’t worth it – ”
“But that’s not what you were telling her, man. And even if you were – to break a glass like that? To yell at you like that?”
my sister has superpowers. If she broke every glass she came across
when she’d be angry, we… Winn, she’s gotta have more control than
that. It’s abusive, dude, she can’t – ”
“Oh, right, Alex, and you can talk about control, and abuse, Miss Get Me a Wrench.”
almost stands, the shadows behind her eyes bursting into flame. Kara
and Maggie still her with their hands, their whispers, and James stills
Winn with his own.
“Alright, alright! I’m sorry, Alex, that was out of line, I didn’t… I’m sorry, I just… got defensive, I… I’m sorry, Alex.”
not wrong,” she mutters, like she’d rather admit anything else in the
world. “But it just makes me get it even more, Winn. It wouldn’t be
acceptable if I carried that… rage… into my relationship with
Maggie. Hell, it’s apparently not even acceptable when I carry it into
the DEO. So dude, I get it. I sympathize with Lyra, I do. But Winn, she
can’t treat you like that. She can’t. It’s not okay.”
eyes bore into Alex’s for a long, long, long moment. Maggie and Kara
exchange a tense glance, and James keeps his eyes focused on his
“But I think I might love her.”
stands and crosses to Winn’s side of the table, kneeling next to him
and pulling him into a soft hug. “I know. And I’m so sorry, Winn. But
that’s the thing. About you. And, I guess, about me. We love so hard and
forgive so easily that it’s almost impossible to see when we’re being
treated badly. And you don’t deserve it, Winn. You don’t.”
Lyin’ in my plastic bed thinkin’ how things weren’t so cool to me my baby likes to shoot pool I like lyin’ naked in my bedroom tying on that dinosaur tonight it used to be so cool Now I’ve got that needle and I can shake but I can’t breathe I take it away but I want more and more one day I’m gonna lose the war..