pool sticks

that one scene in shaun of the dead where they’re circling around the zombie rhythmically hitting it with pool sticks to ‘don’t stop me now’ by queen is one of the funniest scenes in the history of cinema

I Can’t Wait to Hear You Scream PT. 31

Summary: It’s your first day in charge of 3 others.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“No woman who had been intimate with a God was easily disturbed.”

- Michael Cadnum

-

He grabbed two pool sticks from the rack that they were in, handing one over to you.
His hand still wrapped around the stick momentarily before he leaned down to give you a firm kiss on the lips.
You stood there, staring at him in surprise.
He gave you a smirk before walking back over to the table to wrack up the balls.

You pursed your lips, “What the hell was that for?”

He raised an eyebrow and chuckled, “Damn darlin’, I can’t give my wife a kiss?”

You rolled your eyes playfully at him, “Don’t get me wrong, that was cute. But it’s not something you usually do.”

He shrugged, “I don’t have to be a fuckin’ asshole all the time, do I?”

“Of course not, especially not with me.” You said, walking over to the table.

“Look, I’m fuckin’ impressed with what you did today and with how you fuckin’ handled the new ones.” He said lining up his shot on the table.

“Serious?” You said, a smile creeping over your face.

There was silence for a moment until the loud CLACK of the balls scattering across the table broke that.

He nodded, “I fuckin am, darlin’. I don’t see anyone else taking fuckin’ control like that.”

“So, why did you give me the chance? You know I’m gonna be curious.” You smirked.

He lined up another shot on the table as you leaned back on it.

“Because you’re not like the fuckin’ other wives to begin with. When you first got here, you didn’t wanna be like the fuckin’ rest of them and get goddamn handouts and sit around.”

“Jesus, it sounds like you’re saying good thing about me, and it’s fucking wierd.” You said playfully.

He rolled his eyes, “Calm the hell down. It’s just the fuckin’ truth, darlin’.”

“Well, it’s appreciated.”

You both took a couple of turns playing the game, you were surprisingly able to keep up with him, but not being able to actually beat him.

“You’re too fuckin’ good at this.” You finally said, stretching yourself over the table in a playful way.

He took a drink from his glass and chuckled, “Years of fuckin’ practice. And you could line up your fuckin’ shot better.”

“Oh, please, bestow your vast knowledge of pool on me.. Daddy.” You said with a scoff.

He gave a dark smirk and walked around the table behind you, and you leaned up where your back pressed against his chest.
You smiled as you felt his warmth on you.
He grabbed the stick and held it out to you as you took it from his hand.
You leaned back over the table to try to line up another shot.
As you leaned back into him your ass was firmly pressed into his crotch, you bit your lip as you could feel him harden at your touch.

“It’s not easy to do this when you’ve given me a fuckin’ hard on, babdoll.” He sucked his teeth.

You quickly leaned back up, turning yourself and pulled him down to you, taking charge for once and letting your mouth take over his as you kissed him hard, bitting at his lip and pulling at it, he obliged and kissed you back just as hard, wrapping his hands around your waist as he pulled you up onto the table.
you wrapped your arms around his shoulders to keep your balance as he pushed back against you.

“Goddamn, darlin’.” He smiled, “What the fuck has gotten into you?” He said as he put a hand through your hair.

“I don’t know. I guess I felt like taking charge for once.” You bit your lip.

“Well, I’d be fuckin’ lying if I said it didn’t turn me on.”

“Yeah, I can tell.” You said seductively as you ran a hand over the bulge in his pants.

He bit his lip and let his hand slide down to your ass, gripping onto it tightly as he let his other hands graze across the zipper to your oants, teasing you with his fingers.

You smirked and hopped off of the table as you turned back towards him.

He raised an eyebrow, “Where the hell are you going?”

“Let’s just take it to the bedroom.”

He smirked, “Whatever you say, darlin’.”

You laid in bed that night after everything had settled down.
The sex with Negan was a quickie and rough, but it was amazing as usual.
You were extremely tired anyway, you laid there, looking at the ceiling and occasionally looking over to the sleeping man next to you.
He was really too handsome for his own good.
It didn’t take long for you to fall asleep.

You were both up and getting ready to start the day when the sun came up, it was your first day officially having people to look over, and you seemed to be more nervous than you were yesterday.

“What do I do?” You asked Negan nervously, chewing you lip.

“Darlin’, I’m letting you fuckin’ do this because you know just as much as I do.” He said as he slipped in his leather jacket.

“Yeah, but what fucking job do I give them?”

He ran a hand over his face as you attacked him with questions, “(Y/N), baby, just go around and see what the hell needs to be fuckin’ done, and if someone comes up to you and asks for help, then fuckin’ make them do it.”

“The female is gonna give me some trouble.” You said with a grimace as you stuck your gun into it’s holster.

“Well, you’ve got my fuckin’ permission to shut shit down if she does.” He said, putting Lucille on his shoulder as he walked to the door.

“Are you gonna watch me work?” You said trailing behind him.

He smirked, “For a bit, darlin’. You know I never miss a chance to see you.”

“You know that’s she’s gonna give me trouble, you just wanna see it.” You said as you squinted to him, mentioning the red head again.

“I told you I liked watching you fuckin’ work, didn’t I?” He winked.

“It’s amusing to you, but they piss me off.” You furrowed your eyebrows.

He rolled his eyes, “Then fuckin’ kill her.” He said bluntly as he opened the door and walked out without saying much else.

“Dont tempt me.” You said to yourself softly and shook your head as you headed out the door behind him.

You got outside and Simon had the three of them lined up for you as you walked closer.
Negan was walking with you and Simon made the three of them kneel down as he approached them closer.

“Well, good fuckin’ morning.” Negan said happily as you both stood in front of the small group.

Negan made eye at the red head when she made eye contact with him, she turned her head in your direction and you glared back at her, not even trying to mask your distaste for her.

“You fucks are gonna start working for your goddamn spot around here. Now, you’re (Y/N)’s problem, but don’t think she’s gonna a go fuckin’ easy on you.” He turned to you, “Go ahead, darlin’.” He said with a smile.

You nodded and turned back to the group.

“Get on your feet, and follow me.” You ordered as you looked over all of them.

“Let’s get this show fuckin’ going. I can’t fuckin’ wait to see it.” Negan said cheerfully as he threw his head back, biting his lip.

You and he locked eyes for a moment as he gave you a wink and you smiled back, trying your best not to blush while you were in the midst of trying your best to be professional.

You were nervous, you didn’t know where to take them, or what to have them do, but you weren’t about to let any of them see you not being in control.
you decided that the best place to have them start was the kitchen, there was always work that needed to be done there, and you figured Brian could use the help.
So with them all following behind you like willful dogs and Negan by your side, you made your way to the kitchen to get their day started.

When you walked through the doors of it, Negan made his own way to the front to lean against the wall.
He twirled Lucille in a bored fashion in his hand, just watching over you, waiting for the rest of them to catch up.

You rolled your eyes as they were taking too much time, “Can you guys hurry the hell up?”

They finally picked up the pace after you got annoyed with them.
You could hear Negan chuckle from where he was, he seemed to really enjoy watching you be in charge and get to tell other people what to do for once.
Brian came out to see what was going on, and quickly kneeled when he saw Negan.

“Get the fuck up.” Negan called back to him.

He got back onto his feet and looked over to you, “What’s going on?”

“New people. They’re here to help you with whatever you’ve got going on today.” You said, pointing to the three standing behind you.

“Well, the floors need to be mopped. I also need vegetables gathered from the garden.” Brian said slowly and nervously.

Brian was never nervous around you, so you figured it must be Negan that he was nervous about.
He was pretty afraid of him after the punishment he got for letting you get drunk a while back.

You turned around to the three, “You.” You said pointing to the man with the beard, “What’s you name again?”

“David.” He said in a low tone, his eyes glossy with fear.

You nodded, “Right. Look, grab a mop and clean the floors.”

“Yes ma'am.” He said quickly as Brian rolled out a mop bucket to him.

No one had ever called you “ma'am” before.

you turned back to the remaining two and pointed at the other male, “Name, again?”

“Ben.” He said in the same fearful tone.

“You can help get vegetables. And you.” You said as you turned to Katherine.

“I’m Katherine.” She said in a snobbish tone.

Your lips stretched into a thin line, “I know what your fucking name is.”

She rolled her eyes.

“You all are gonna be working for points. Those points determine whether you eat and what supplies you can buy.” You pointed to Katherine “And since you wanna get on my bad side already, whatever ten points you were gonna earn are fucking invalid now. Roll your eyes at me again.” You glared at her.

You were being hard on her, but you didn’t care. You were in charge of them and just like Negan, you weren’t gonna put up with any bullshit.

Negan whistled as he walked over to you and threw an arm over your shoulder, “Looks like my lovely wife is dealing out some fuckin’ tough love on you, my dear. Probably shouldn’t fuck with her, I’ve seen it get fuckin’ messy.” He smiled, showing his white teeth.

“Both of you wait for me by the door.” You said to Katherine and Ben.
They both nodded, and Katherine didn’t say anything else nor look at you wrong after that, and they walked over to the exit to wait for you.

“How was that?” You asked Negan, still watching the two of them walk off.

He smirked, “Pretty fuckin’ hot darlin’. It’s like you’re me, except with a fuckin’ pussy.”

You shook your head, “I guess you were right. I am like you more than I’ve ever admitted.”

“I usually am fuckin’ right, baby.” He sneered at you.

You smiled, “Asshole.”

“Well fuck, you’re right, too.” He licked his lips.

“I’ve got work to do.”

“You sure fuckin’ do, darlin’ and so do I.” He let his hand fall off your shoulder to give you a firm slap on the ass before he made his way out of the room.

You bit your lip as you watched him walk out of the room.

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||Family Bonding|| Joker x Reader

||Family Bonding||
Joker x Reader

Hey could you do one were the joker meets your family and realizes there extremely crazy and ends with you two having fluff- Thank you sooo much❤❤ - @cloud9motions

||Warnings||
cursing
kinda gruesome
alcohol


Love at first sight doesn’t exist.

You know this because when Mister J first started circling you like a shark, you certainly did not want to kiss him. The first though you actually have was to take the pool stick you were holding and shove it up his ass to impale him.

“Can I play with you, doll?” J purred, smiling wide.

“No.” You simply said, shooting your pool stick forward, hitting the white ball that knocked the 8 ball into the left pocket. You smirked triumphantly and looked up at your opponent, “That’ll be $500, Paul. I’ll expect it tomorrow at my place before I wake up.”
This Paul man walked away from the pool table in shame, headed out the door as quickly as he could. You chuckled with an eye roll and set up a new game.
All the while J was still recovering from rejection. In his defense, he was out of his element. The Clown Prince was out of town for business purposes, instead of his usual club.
No woman would deny him in his own territory! Currently J was in a high end casino, people knew who he was and acted like he wasn’t there. His green hair made him stick out like an elephant. Well, that and the 20 body guards that were not hired by the casino. Dare J say that he missed the attention he received in his club, when everything he could want was at his fingertips.
A slight sense of insecurity washed over J as he sat back in his booth. You did look rather young. He observed you, careless of being completely obvious about it. You were clearly 21 if not older, after all you were in a place of alcohol and gambling. What really sent that insecure shiver down his spine was how easily you said no. You didn’t even look his way, see who he was! If you had, would your answer still be the same?

J decided to put it to the test.

The criminal had Frost send her a drink, a simple beer. When the beer reached your table you looked at it with an arched brow. Your striking (e/c) eyes almost froze J where he sat. Your face was gorgeous. (H/c) hair pulled over to one side, resting on your left shoulder and curling every which way. You had only a little bit of makeup on from what J could see. Black lipstick to match your simple black dress and mascara to make those (e/c) eyes pop. You picked up the drink and began to walk towards the criminal and that was definitely not a smile on your face.
“You’ve caught my attention, kitten, normally people would take a hint.” You sat in the booth, across from him, “But really? A beer? I hope i look classier then that.”

Oh you did.

J didn’t care if he was being sassed, he could fix that attitude later, your voice was smooth and unshaken. You weren’t afraid of him . This shocked J, though he didn’t have anything but a smile on those red lips… Wait. Did you call him kitten? Before he could ask you spoke again.

“Anybody home?” You gave a slight smile. J glanced your black covered lips as it twitches upwards for a moment. He looked up and you tilted your head, waiting for an answer.

“What would you like?” J asked without a smile.

“Scotch.” You said simply.

J snapped his fingers and immediately a body guard of his fled to the bar. He returned a minute later and placed the drink in front of you. You glanced down at the drink then up at the man again.

“What was your name again, kitten?”

“You don’t know me?” J asked, tilting his head slightly.

“No, I do! Just know you have too many names to keep track. Which do you prefer?” You asked, leaning forward, elbows on the table and your head in your hands.

“You can call me J. Who are you and why do I feel like I should be worried?” J smirked playfully.

You threw your head back in laughter that made J smile widely. You had two golden fangs that made him slide his tongue over his grill. Your laugh had that ring that was all too similar to his. For a moment you had that mischievous glint in your eyes.

“You have no idea.” You smirked, “I’m (Name). (Full Name).”

“Tell me, (Name), what’s a pretty, little thing like you doing here?”

“My dad, The Boss, owns this place. I come here to hustle rich assholes when I’m bored. Thanks to Boss, I’m the best pool shark you’ll ever see.” You admit with a wink.

“You don’t say?” J laughed as well.

“I do say! Want to see?” You lean in close, looking out the booth for someone to play with.

“Amuse me.” J said, looking out as well.

At last, you picked someone. You walked over, swaying your hips as you did. J would never turn down an opportunity to stare at a fine women’s ass. He smirked as you sat next to the man in the bar. You conversed with the man for a bit and he bought you a drink.

“Do you wanna play some pool? I’m not very good but I bet you’d go easy on me~” You purred

“How about we go back to my place and play something else?” He smirked. You forced yourself not to roll your eyes and kept that sweet smile on your lips.

“Wanna make a bet? You win, we go back to your place. I win, you give me $1,000.”

“What makes you think I have that kind of money?” He asked, nervous how confidently you made the bet for someone who isn’t good at pool.

“If you didn’t, you would have denied already.” You whispered with a smirk, walking towards the pool table.

J watched as you walked to get a pool stick, irritated as the man eyed you. You weren’t his but when J wanted something, no one else could have it. He watched for 15 minutes as you continuously beat the man in 4 rounds of pool, raising the wager every time. Whether it was because he didn’t want to lose to a girl.. or he really wanted to take you home.
You finally shot the 8 ball into the pocket.

“My $4,000.” You held your hand out, looking to J with a smirk. You felt a rush of pride run over you as you watched the criminal hold his stomach in a fit of laughter.

“You cheated!” The man yelled, smacking your hand down. Your smirk fell, (e/c) eyes flashing red as you whipped your head to face the man.

“You said you were bad at pool-”

“I!” You said sharply, getting quite a few people’s attention but none more then J’s, “Said. I wasn’t very good. I was being modest.” You have a frightening, forced smile.

“You little-” The man raised his fist.

You didn’t even flinch as he did. J stood up immediately but was beat to reaching you. Several men around the room, all wearing the same suit, rushed to your aid. They shoved the man back and aimed a gun at him.

“Little bitch? Is that what I am?” You looked around as if to ask the men surrounding him. They laughed and shook their heads. J and the man stared, wondering what joke they were missing. You twitched your head to the side, “I’m definitely not little when it comes to being a bitch.”

You started to walk away when you stop and snap your fingers and make a face as if you were forgetting something. A smug smile on your face as you make a finger gun and shoot yourself, adding a little ‘pew’ sound.

“You remember that $4,000 that you owe me? Make it $8,000, that’s my favorite number.” You giggled.

“That’s ridiculous!” The man was held in place by the bodyguards. It wouldn’t be the first time someone tried to run off after making a bet.

“Is it?!” You made a fake pouty face, “I’m sooooo sorry. You know what? How about we both talk to The Boss.” Your eyes darkened and narrowed at the mention of your father. The man was now on his knees, realizing who he was dealing with.

As the conversation came to an end, you turned to see J just a few steps from you. Shaking his head with a huge smile on his face, clapping his hands.

“What a performance!” He shouted. You bowed to your audience of one and both of you began laughing.

“Oh, (Name,)” J’s voice lowered, “I like you.”

Shortly after this first impression, J wanted to know you more. You talked for hours and hours that night. You explained to J how your twin brothers, Mark and Max, accidentally punched you while you three were roughhousing. One tooth was knocked out and they thought your parents wouldn’t notice if the opposite fang was missing! They gave you a bit of alcohol and pulled your tooth out with pliers. You showed your mom, a bloody, drunk smile on your face. J thought it was hilarious but your mom did not. After that, J told you a few of his 'funny’ stories that related to yours.

At the end of the night, you decided you were intrigued by J.

As he was of you.

At first you were only his Wendy, telling J stories strictly to amuse him. He would pay for you to visit every weekend and stay in the most luxurious hotel Gotham had to offer. You would laugh and create mischief together! Only for once J wouldn’t do anything so awful it would attract the Bat. The criminal didn’t want unwanted attention during his time with you. Instead they would do simple teenage pranks like throw eggs at the Bruce Manor and leave chickens in the front yard. Oh how J adored that one.

You loved J’s club, it was so different from your fathers casino. However the criminal didn’t like you in his club, dancing in the glass cages for everyone else to gawk at. The tight (f/c) dress you wore that made you irresistible. Especially the way you were dancing. Though when you finally convinced J to dance with you, his smirk grew as everyone who laid eyes in you immediately turned away.
After the club, you and J went back to his house to pick up your phone. You sat on his bed like you did earlier when you waited for J to fix his fucking hair for hours. You realized you were kind of tired, it was 3am after all. J probably wouldn’t mind if you rested your eyes for an hour right?
You opened your eyes to see a shirtless J, asleep and peaceful. You smiled at the man, gently touching his face and leaning down to place a kiss on his cheek before you left. J’s eyes opened immediately and he aimed a gun at you before seeing who you were. You squeaked, showing the first sign of fear he had ever seen. He dropped the gun and fled the room, you heard a door slam down the hall and then silence. That was the last you had seen from J for a week.
The Clown Prince of Crime had locked himself away for a week. When he finally emerged from his office, J saw you curled up on the floor. You hadn’t left yet? J sighed and kneeled down, shaking you awake. You sat up with a gasp, rubbing your tired, (e/c) eyes.

“I have rules, (Name)” J said simply. You knew what he meant. This would not be an ordinary relationship if things were headed the direction you thought they were.

“As do I, J.” You said as you closed the gap between your faces, kissing him passionately.


Years went by and you and J have been the ruthless power couple of Gotham. King and Queen rightfully by each others sides! His laughter echoing in the streets followed by a harmless giggle that everyone knew belonged to you. Your think it’s funny how this started from an interest, to an obsession and now the closest thing to a lover possible. Neither of you said the “L” word. It wasn’t a rule or anything but the two of you never said it. Though J was more then content with your relationship, he wanted more.

He always did.

He knew you were devoted to him but he wanted you to be completely and utterly his, in every which way. J went out that night and robbed the finest jewelry store Gotham had to offer him. He plucked the most glorious ring just for you and had his men stuff the rest into bags. As the pale man was walking into his home, reciting his lines for what he would attempt to say to you, he heard you laughing. You were talking to someone and you sounded overjoyed! This made J angry. It was 3am why on earth were you even awake?! He quickly walked inside, marching over to you only to see you smiling that perfect smile he adored. You were Skyping your family.

“Bye Mom! Bye Boss! Bye Mark and Max!” You smiled wide, waving at them as you hung up. You closed your laptop and started to hum, standing up to go to the kitchen when you noticed J.

“Hey baby!” You smiled and kissed his cheek. You continued to make your way to the kitchen, fixing yourself a snack and J a drink.

“You know..” You started, hesitant to ask, “I realized you haven’t officially met my family. Maybe this weekend-”

“No.” J said simply as you slipped the drink you mad him into his hand. You sighed and for a moment J swore you looked sad but you smiled and kissed his lips softly, “Ok, kitten. G'night.”

J was in awe. You just let him win without putting up a fight. You normally always got what you wanted no matter what it was. Then again, you never asked for anything. J would simply shower you in everything that sparkled or he thought of you immediately when he saw it. Your boyfriend never saw you happier then when he held your hand or sat with you while you watched cartoons. You smiled biggest when J would come and hug you silently, just wanting to feel you. The simple things made you happy! Holding hands, love making, cooking together, hugging! The 'normal’ bullshit that J never did! For a complex girl, you were too simple and it made J sick. The pale man growled and downed the rest of his scotch, standing abruptly and following you to the bedroom. He leaned against the door frame, watching you get dressed into pajamas. J rolled his eyes in annoyance as he comes up behind you and starts kissing your neck. You don’t protest, simply question him, “What do you want?”

“You.” J says. You laugh and he holds your hips tighter.

“One weekend.” J mumbles. You gasp and smile, turning around to make sure he’s serious.

“Really?”

“Yes, really. I’ll have the men clear the spare rooms and they can stay for the weekend…” J sighed with a smile. You smirked and crossed your arms, “Why do I feel like there’s a 'but’ somewhere in that sentence?”

J chuckled darkly, pulling your hips towards him again, “Maybe.”

~~~

J was uncomfortable to say the least when your family arrived. He started to complain he didn’t want to be surrounded by strangers. You promptly deadpanned that he was literally surrounded by strangers every time he went into his club.
The doorbell rang and you fled to greet them. Your mother was the first to hug you, squeezing you and lifting you off the ground. You laughed as she put you down and took a tray from your dads hands, asking you were she could put the desert she brought. J watched as you talked to your mom. You obviously got your looks from your mother who’s face resembled yours almost too perfectly.

It almost scared him.

Almost.

Your father was tall and much bigger then J but the two men somehow hit it off immediately. Most likely because of your fathers comments on the gun hanging on the wall, J immediately smiled and began to “talk shop” with him. Your twin brothers were younger but towered over you. So J was amused to see that in wrestling both at the same time, you still came out on top. After an hour of sitting at the table with alcohol in everyone’s system, it seemed your boyfriend was actually enjoying himself!
You brought out the meal the cook had made and set it nicely on the table. Everyone told stories and had side conversation as they ate. It was almost normal, sickening J but pleasing you. After dinner, your mother brought out the desert she had created.

“German chocolate cake!” She said proudly, lifting the lid off the tray and showing the exquisite cake she had made. J’s eyes looked like he just came in his pants. That man loved his chocolate. Suddenly you looked at the cake suspiciously and stopped J from cutting himself a piece.

“Momma, what’s in that cake?” You asked.

“Coconut, chocolate, chocolate chips, flour-” She said sarcastically.

“Mooooooom.” You groaned.

“What?! (Nick Name), I’m not going to poison my future son in law.”

J and your father choked on their drinks. Max and Mark spit theirs out and started laughing. You glared at them, picking up your knife warningly. You had explained to J before how your mother made poisoned pastries for a living. However when she didn’t poison her food, it was delicious! Your mother put her hand over yours and you sighed, releasing the knife. There was a bit of an awkward silence after that comment so she decided to cut the cake and distribute the pieces herself.
After everyone was done eating, your mother took all the dishes to the kitchen where the cook began to wash them. You poured everyone another round of drinks. J took your father and brothers to your the house while your mother pulled you aside to talk to you.

“Darling, I’m sorry-”

“It’s ok, mom.” You smiled, somewhat sad. You knew that you and J could never get married like a normal couple.

Down in the torture rooms, J fixed his hair and turned to your father. He had occupied your twin brothers with a room they could 'play’ in, for a moment alone to talk to your dad.

“Mr. (Cadiente)-” J turned to him.

“Call me Boss, J.” Your dad smiled.

J sighed and fixed his hair again, a bit of a tick he did, “I’m not a man of words so excuse me for being blunt. Your opinion doesn’t matter what so ever to me… but I know it means the world to (Name). I want to marry her and need the..” J waved his hand hoping your father would catch on. Your dad kept a smile on his face but it weakened slightly.

“Do you love her?” He asked.

Silence.

J was slightly at a loss for words. He rolled his neck and groaned as he thought how to word his answer, “I do not love. I am not someone who is loved- but I hold her above anyone else. I adore and treasure and protect her because I.. trust her.”

Upstairs with your mom, the two of you sat at the cleared dining table. Your mom was very much drunk but you were only slightly tipsy. You were thankful you didn’t inherit your mothers alcohol tolerance.

“How is he treating you?” Your mom asked, slurring majorly.

“Fiiiine?” You phrase it as a question, tilting your head, not really knowing what she meant.

“And he’s never.. Y'know? Hit you?”

“Mom!” You couldn’t believe this. She knew you could handle yourself. The only reason she would ask this was if she and your father had done a background check on J.

“I’m sorry, muffin! You know The Boss does his research on anyone close to our baby.” She said defensively.

Neither of you noticed J walk by, hearing your conversation he stopped.

“I know… but J would never! He’s probably the best thing that’s ever happened me, mom.” You smiled at the thought of your boyfriend.

“Do you..?” Your mom started to ask.

“Do I what?” You laughed and blushed. You held your burning cheek in your hand.

“You do! You love him, don’t you!” Your mom shouted, making you have to shush her. It was like you were both 10 years old talking about crushes, she was so giddy.

“Of course I do mom.” You admitted.

“Oh! I’m gonna have grand babies at last! Your brothers are never going to get married if they keep up that rambunctious-”

“Mom! Don’t expect kids from us!” You covered your face. J had to stop himself from busting a guy at the scene unfolding.

“Oh.. Are you two not..?” Your mom made gestures with her hands and eyebrows. Suddenly you snorted and began laughing, “MOM!”

“What! It’s healthy to have sex, baby!” Your mom basically shouted. You slammed your head on the table but it didn’t stop you from laughing. Your father saw J eavesdropping in on your conversation and stood by him to listen, snickering as well.

“It’s good for the relationship too!” Your mother continued, slurring, “What’s the issue? Is he bad? Oh, your father used to be so-” Suddenly your father ran into the room, covering your mothers mouth.

“AND THIS IS WHERE I CUT YOU OFF IF WINE!” Your father shouted, running into the room and hoisting your mother over his shoulder. J finally started cracking up, holding his side.

You and J now lied in bed after a night full of drunken laughter. You were laying on your sides, facing each other. You had a smile on your lips as you touched J’s face, tracing the shadows the moon left on him.

“They adore you.” You whispered.

“Good.” J simply said, moving the hand that was on your cheek to hold your left hand.

“(Name)?” J whispered, looking into your eyes though it was dark.

“J?” You asked, not breaking the eye contact as he slipped the ring he stole earlier that week onto your finger.

“Please say yes, I’ll go crazy without you.”

Of course you told him yes.


But only after screaming and waking up the whole family to show them.

A lady had died and I was the horrible detective assigned to solve the case. Kakashi (yes the one from Naruto dunno why smh) said someone was going to attack the house and many kids were there so I fought a bastard and my arm got sliced. A man was screaming at a lady and child in the car so I hopped on and kicked his ass out. But he chased us so I told her to drive. She ends up having 7 kids, so I tell them to hide in a trailer (which I’ve seen before but was oddly empty) and I fought an abusive asshole with a pool stick.

Lust At First Sight

For @actualamyautopsy
Tagging- @smutwwe @crookedmoonsaultpunk @amaranthine-reign @geeksdenmom @bansheefett @little–alphabet–boy

Dean Ambrose/Reader Smut

WARNING: extremely smutty, over 3K words. I totally got carried away, but OH WELL. ENJOY! 👏🏻👏🏻


“And I win, again.” My friend smirked, standing across the pool table from me, straightening her back up and slightly leaning on the pool stick she had just used to hit the final ball into the hole in the pool table. I rolled her eyes at me, shaking my head but a smile rested on my lips to let her know I wasn’t actually mad. “This is why I hate playing this game with you.” She simply laughed at me, before she crossed from the table to go order us two more drinks.

It was a sort of tradition between the two of us, every Sunday night we went to play a few games of pool, have a couple of drinks, just relax before another stressful week could start. The bar we went to was always pretty quiet, it was a hole in the wall joint, so hardly anyone could even find it, even in a city as iconic as Las Vegas. It was only quiet for about ten more minutes though. A fairly rowdy crowd of guys came walking in, clearly all excited about something, but that wasn’t terribly uncommon, so her and her friend didn’t even bat an eyelash at it. She returned with their drinks, and they proceeded to just start another game of pool, continuing to just mind their own business.

The boys, on the other hand, were all pretty rialed up from the events of that evening. Money in the Bank was known to be one of the more intense pay-per-view events, mostly because of that shiny gold briefcase that was up for grabs. As soon as Dean Ambrose had his hands on that, he knew right away that as pretty as it was, he didn’t want to hold onto it for too long. Cashing it in against Seth, of all people, was almost too easy. A hit to the face with the briefcase, a dirty deeds, then a 1, 2, 3 count, and just like that, he had become champion.

It was something he had worked his entire career to accomplish, so naturally, his first instinct was to celebrate that accomplishment a little. One of the guys in the locker room let him know about this little hole in the wall place, where most likely nobody would know who any of them were, and that’s exactly what he wanted. Just a night with the guys to drink a few beers and just enjoy his victory, without getting attacked by people wanting autographs and pictures, which was a difficult feat to accomplish. As they walked into the bar though, judging by the fact there were only about four or five other people inside, he had a good feeling this might be one of those fantastic rare occasions.

The group of men walked up to the bar, ordering themselves some drinks, some guys chatting, others watching the TV screen. Dean himself had been immersed in conversation with Enzo, until a, “God damnit,” muttered not too far from them drew his attention, baby blue eyes drifting over to the sight, and boy did he like what he saw. Both girls playing at the pool table were gorgeous, but he could tell who had just cursed rather loudly, the look she was giving her, laughing, friend gave that much away. He excused himself from the bar counter, heading over right as the beautiful girl lined up for a shot, and missed once again.

“You just need to draw back a little more before hitting the ball,” he started, arms crossed over his chest, “You get more power that way.” Dean had played a few rounds of pool in his days, and he’d admittedly lost some money on games, so he learned a lot of trick to help you win.

I looked over at him with a brow raised, holding the cue in my hand as I considered his words, pursing my lips slightly before nodding. I’d never been terribly good at the game, so it couldn’t hurt to try out what he said. I leaned back down, unaware of the eyes that drifted to my ass in the frayed cut off shorts I was wearing, and jumped slightly when I felt muscular arms drape over mine, moving me so I was lined up in a different direction, his lips right next to my ear as he mumbled lowly, almost like he was trying to make sure my friend didn’t hear.

“If you aim this way, and hit hard enough, you can knock two of them in at once,” he said, his voice low and husky in my ear, my breath hitching slightly at the sound, before allowing him to guide my hands to hit the white ball, effectively sending two of the balls into separate holes in the table, just like he said it could. A bright smile broke out on my face as I shot up, a slight smirk coming to his lips at my excitement. “See, it’s easy.”

I laughed softly, shrugging my shoulders, “You seem like you have a little more practice with it than I do, so that’s easy for you to say,” I teased back slightly, brushing some of my hair back behind my shoulder, suddenly becoming aware of his gaze on me. He had gorgeous eyes, a beautiful shade of baby blue, but they were intensely locked on me. My friend glanced between the two of us, a knowing smirk on her face. “You know, I think my ride is here. I’ll see you around (Y/N).” Before I could protest her leaving, if I even had the desire to do so, she had gathered her things and headed out the door, no doubt to call a cab with the amount of alcohol she’d had.

I looked back at the undeniably attractive man standing across from me, catching his eyes trailing back up my body, a light pink tint coming to my cheeks when I realized that he had been checking me out. His smirk only seemed to increase when the blush spread across my face, but he continued talking, unfazed by the fact I had caught him. “So doll, since your friend kinds ditched you, you want some company?” To hell if I was gonna turn down that offer.

About an hour, and half a bottle of tequila later, the night had taken a turn for the entertaining. I had found out why Dean was celebrating in the first place, and even though I wasn’t a fan of WWE, World Heavyweight Champion sounded pretty damn impressive to her, made sense why he had shown up with the group he did. A majority of which had already headed out for the evening, saying something about having another show the next day. A few remained, but neither of us were really acknowledging them, having been deep in conversation the entire time we had been drinking.

“You know, you have really pretty eyes,” I blurted out, the smirk that came to his lips upon hearing my words sent a shiver down my spine. “Well, thank you darlin’. I’ve gotta say you have some beautiful eyes as well. Really, you’re just beautiful all around.” The compliment brought a smile to my lips and a blush to my cheeks, ducking my head down slightly to break eye contact. Dean, however, grabbed my chin between his thumb and index finger, lifting my gaze back to his fairly gently, eyes flickering to my lips before back to my eyes, his tongue darting out to lick over his lips.

“I really want to kiss you right now.” The words left his lips in a low mumble, and between the alcohol flowing through my system, and the way his gaze was affecting me, I could just barely manage nod at his words. It was not even a second after I had given him that confirmation that I felt surprisingly soft lips cover my own, and my eyes fluttered shut as I reciprocated the kiss. He kissed me softly at first, as though he was still testing the waters, but eventually his hands fell down to my waist, and he tugged me off my stool, over onto his lap, hands balancing me there on the small of my back. My hands snaked around his neck and tangled themselves in his hair, the kiss growing slightly heated before he pulled back, his breath coming out in slight pants. He locked eyes with me again, his eyes seeming to have gone another shade darker, and he said only one thing.

“We should get out of here.”

A slight smirk twisted my lips, “I thought you’d never ask.” With that, he tossed some cash down on the counter for our drinks, before dragging me out of the bar and into the slightly cold Vegas air, towards what she could only assume was his car, but they didn’t quite make it into the car right away. A gasp of surprise left my lips as he pinned me against the side of the car, next to the passenger side, his lips covering mine once again, hands on either side of my head. This kiss was more forceful, more greedy, as he had permission from me now do to so. He groaned lowly as he pulled away from me, his stare down at me intense.

“You have no idea how hard it’s gonna be to wait until we make it to the hotel. If this parking lot was more secluded I’d have my way with you right here, right now. Since it’s not,” he unfortunately pulled away, digging his keys out of his pocket and unlocking the car, opening the passenger door and looking at me expectantly. I climbed in quickly, fastening the seatbelt over myself as he shut the door and all but ran to the driver’s side and started the car, driving about five minutes or so before pulling into another parking lot, this time it was one of the hotel he was staying at.

I barely made it out of the car before I was grabbed with slightly rough hands, being tossed over Dean’s shoulder, much like he would’ve done with the title belt he had won that evening. He carried me through the hotel lobby, a light giggle leaving my lips at the looks some people were giving him. He didn’t put me down once we reached the elevator, not when we got to the floor his room was on, not even when he made it to the door of his room. He unlocked the door with the hand that wasn’t holding me in place on his shoulder, tossing me onto the bed once he had closed it behind us, quickly joining me on the bed so he was hovering over me, his lips instantly connecting back on mine.

My hands rested against his chest as he kissed me, slowly creeping under his shirt to rest on his bare abdomen, his muscles extremely defined under her touch, eliciting a groan from him. He settled back on his knees to tear his shirt off, tossing it in a random direction before his lips were back on my own, trailing down from there onto my neck and collarbone, as his hands slid to my hips, where he pulled on the hem of my shirt. “This needs to come off baby doll,” he mumbled against my neck, pulling away from the area he had his lips locked on, lifting my shirt from my body, and similar to his, tossed it in a random place in the room. Finding out clothing the next morning would definitely be a sort of scavenger hunt, but that thought didn’t remain in my head for too long, because next thing I knew, my bra had joined the pile of absentmindedly tossed clothing, and his lips found a new place.

He engulfed one of my nipples in his mouth, flicking the bud with the tip of his tongue and sucking on it, his other hand coming to show attention to my other breast. His lips trailed up my chest after a moment, back up to my collarbone, where he was no doubt leaving little marks that would remind me of this evening for a few days. His hand, however, started to drift in the opposite direction, fingertips barely sliding beneath the waistband of my shorts, the whine that was about to leave my lips being silenced when he kissed me, hard, his hand sliding fully under my shorts, teasing my heat through the blue lacy material covering it.

A sharp intake of breath came from my lips as his fingers applied more pressure on my sensitive bud, beginning to rub small, slow circles on the lace covering it, followed quickly by a breathy moan. My body had been heating up even before his first touch, just from the anticipation of what was going to happen, but now I felt as though a trail of fire followed wherever his hands laid their claim too.

His lips captured mine in another possessive kiss, swallowing the moan that was about to leave my lips, as he slid one finger inside my dripping heat, smirking against my lips as he felt the prominent wetness between my legs. “All that for me doll? I haven’t even touched you all that much yet.” I could feel my cheeks heating up at his words, but as I opened my mouth to try and form a reply, only another, slightly louder moan left them as he shoved another finger into me, curling both inside of me while the rough pad of his thumb took over for his other fingers, rubbing leisurely circles on my clit.

His lips trailed away from my lips, pressing little open-mouthed kisses along my jawline all the way to my ear, lips resting just outside it as he spoke again, his voice thick and raspy. “God sweetheart, you’re soaked and I only have my fingers inside you. I can only imagine how wet you’ll be by the time I’m done with you.” His voice sent a shiver down my spine, and a low whimper escaped my lips as he curled his fingers harshly inside of me, sending even more waves of pleasure crashing down over me.

I could feel myself growing closer to the edge under his skilled fingers, and clearly he could as well, because his thumb picked up speed on its circles, and his fingers began to pump faster. “Gonna come for me doll? Atta girl, soak these fingers baby. C'mon now, come all over my hand (Y/N).” The low and raspy words mumbled into my ear as his hands worked was enough to push me over the edge, a soft cry of his name leaving my lips as I came.

He removed his fingers from me, but continue to draw lazy circles on my now sensitive clit as I rode out my high, kissing lightly below my ear. “Ya come so prettily sweetheart, I gotta say, my name sounds fucking amazing coming from your mouth that way, I can’t wait to hear more of it,” he practically purred into my ear, finally taking his hands off my heat

He climbed between my legs, making a show of cleaning his fingers off while maintaining eye contact with me the entire time before his eyes closed, a low groan leaving his lips. “You taste so good baby doll,” he mumbled, placing his hands on either side of my head so he was hovering over top of me, pressing his lips against mine firmly, his tongue snaking into my mouth for a moment before he pulled back, lightly nipping my bottom lip on the way up.

He stood off the bed for only a moment to shed his own shirt, removing the black leather belt from his jeans as well, pausing to slide my lacy panties off as well. I found myself unable to look away from his bare chest, the muscles leading down to a very prominent tent in his jeans until I heard his deep chuckle fill the room. A smirk was on his lips when I snapped my gaze back up to him, a redness covering my cheeks once again. “I’m glad you like what you see doll, because I definitely love what I see.” He removed his denim jeans and his boxers in one swift move before climbing back on the bed.

“Oh god, Dean, please,” I breathed out, my head tilted up to look back into those gorgeous blue eyes of his as I literally begged for him. No man had ever managed to get me begging the way I was, but after the intensity of that last orgasm, I was eager for another, and I knew that he wouldn’t disappoint.

“Hm? What’s that baby doll? What do you want, ya gotta tell me if you expect me to do something. I can do a lot of things, but reading minds ain’t one of them,” he answered, a quite smug look on his face as he said it, knowing full well that I wanted him to do. I keened out in response, my face bright red by this point, unsure of how I should even describe what I wanted. “I think,” he began again, the look of pure smugness now fading in the slightest as he climbed back over me, lips trailing up my neck lightly, “You want me to fuck you. I think you want it so hard that you won’t even be able to walk tomorrow morning. I think you want me to be rough with you, not treat you like some delicate lil glass figure. Go ahead, tell me that I’m right doll. I wanna hear you say it.”

I whined lowly, the red shade not removing itself from my cheeks as he demanded that I tell him what I want, but my want for him quickly outweighed my embarrassment of saying it. “Fuck, Dean, I want you to fuck me so hard that I can’t walk tomorrow. I want you to be roug-” I was cut off by the man who was hovering over me, pushing into me abruptly, a groan leaving his lips and a gasp leaving mine at the sudden intrusion. Once his hips were pressed against mine, he stopped in his place.

“Fuck baby doll, you feel so good around me. So fucking tight,” he groaned out, using every ounce of his self-control to not just plunge himself into me over and over again. “Just, just tell me when you’re good to go. I’ll be damned if I hurt you, you just feel so fucking amazing.”

I gave him the okay after a few moments, once I felt more comfortable with his massive size inside of me. He pulled almost completely out, slowly, gently, which left me completely unprepared for the way he slammed back into me before setting his ruthless pace. Swears and moans and cries of his name left my lips as he pounded into me, his lips going back and forth on my jawline and neck, all the way down to my collarbone at times, and I just knew I would be marked up beyond belief the following morning. I was honestly in such a state of bliss that I didn’t even think about such a thing.

“Fuck! Dean, I’m gonna, gonna,” I cried out, losing the words to a moan that fought through, my head tipping back as my hands gripped the sheets beneath me. “Yeah? Gonna come again doll? Gonna come all over my dick?” He growled lowly in my ear, and I moaned a yes in response. He reached between our bodies, rubbing my clit vigorously as he continued to thrust into me, his thrusts become slightly sloppy but still quick and rough as ever.

A muffled scream of his name escaped me as I came undone from underneath him, feeling him pull out of me seconds later, and a warm pool of liquid form on my abdomen as groans and grunts left his lips. The room was filled with labored breathing as we both came down from our highs. A breathy chuckle left his lips as he stepped out of bed, grabbing one of the towels from the bathroom before returning, wiping my stomach off before tossing the towel to the floor and climbing back into bed. He pressed a quick kiss to my lips before laying beside me.

“So, I think a second date is in order.”

So I got fired from my job..

I had two jobs, one was at this country ice house in buttfuck nowhere outside of my city. This place was pretty small, but was one of the few bars in a certain area so it would get busy. A lot off good ol’ boys and oil field guys.

I worked the door, checked ids and such, and usually broke up fights or kick people out. The owner of this place was very “hands on”. He liked to micromanage everything. Didn’t want me to kick people out unless they were throwing punches, and even then to try and talk to them. Never cut anyone off. Had that “always be selling” attitude.

One night some trouble happens between some regulars and one guy tries to hit another guy with a pool stick. I happened to get hit in the arm but got behind the guy and put him to sleep.

Next day the manager calls me to tell me I’m being let go. Apparently pool stick guy spends a lot of money and me putting him to sleep left him bitter so he called the owner.

That’s fine.

Anyways the bar has a nice fancy jukebox. If you have the app you can just pick songs on your credit card and they’ll play. If you hit play next on a song, even if they turn the jukebox off, it’ll play when it starts back up. It’s also unskippable.

With the master remote you could skip a song but they lost that remote so they really can’t do much if someone plays a certain song they don’t like, and even if they unplug it, it’ll play no matter what when they turn it on.

Here’s my petty revenge:

The owner does inventory every tuesday night. It also happens to be a busy night because they do pool tournaments and it usually gets packed.

So here I thought, I could probably just play the same song over and over and there’s nothing they can really do.

I got twenty bucks in credits and that usually gives you about 18 unskippable songs. Plus more depending if the app gifts you credits.

I picked a remix of Cotton Eye Joe, that comes in at around 7 minutes a pop. Usually when the pool tournament started.

Two hours of hearing the same song has killed their business on tuesdays. Even if they unplug it, it’ll still play when they plugged it back up.

I’ve been doing it for two months so far, last I heard they had to buy a new jukebox at a cost 5,000. I’ll probably stop for a month then start again. I’m an asshole I guess.

Tequila

Note: this is my first fic! Please let me know what you think!


“I dare you to do a tequila shot with Bucky.” Natasha asked Y/N plopping down on the couch next to her.
“Bet you I won’t” Y/N replied rolling her eyes. Natasha scoffs glancing over to where Steve and Bucky are playing pool against Sam and Clint. “Never thought you would be a chicken.”

Y/N snuck a glance at Bucky. Blushing slightly “Are you trying to get me to die of embarrassment?” Nat laughed, “He likes you and I know you like him, I am speeding up the process. You can back down if you want.”

“I don’t back down. Lets do this.” Y/N pushed herself off of the couch and walked over to the pool table. “Hey Bucky can you come help me with something?”

Bucky put his pool stick down and walked with Y/N over to the bar where Natasha was now sitting. “what do you need?” Bucky asked leaning on the bar.
“It’s actually super simple, I just need you to stand there.” Y/N smirks at him.

Bucky nods his head, his face showing his confusion. Y/N walks behind the bar and grabs the salt shaker and lime wedge putting them on the counter. She grabs a shot glass and bottle of tequila and walks around the bar to stand beside Bucky.

“Give me your hand.” she says as she grabs Bucky’s right hand. She rubs some tequila on his hand and sprinkles some salt on it. “Open up” Y/N demands. Bucky quirks an eyebrow but opens his mouth. “bite down on this not to hard though.” Bucky’s face showed nothing but confusion but did as she asked.

Y/N takes a breath and takes the shot of tequila. Shivering she grabs Bucky’s hand and licks the salt off. Bucky’s eyes widened but before he could do anything Y/N was grabbing the back of his neck pulling him down to bite the lime out of his mouth.

Sucking on the lime she shivers once more. Letting out a whispered “gross”. She looks up at Bucky taking in his shocked expression. “Thanks for the help Buckaroo.” She taps his shoulder and tries not to trip as she walks down the hall to her room avoiding Nat’s eyes that are filled with laughter.

“um are you okay buck?” natasha asks waving a hand in front of his face breaking his daze. Bucky snapped straight and let out a gruff “yeah” before heading quickly out of the room. After leaving the room Bucky marched up to Y/n’s door gathering himself before knocking.

Y/n leaned against the door trying to will away the blush she knew was all over face. “I can’t believe I did that” she said to herself. She jumped off the door as a loud knock broke her out of her thoughts.

Y/n opened the door assuming Nat had come to see if she had really died of embarrassment. Bucky - it just had to be Bucky. Y/n put a smile on her face and hoped she wasn’t still bright red. “Hey buck did you need something?”
“I just had a question -” Bucky started as he stepped slightly closer toward the open doorway where y/n stood waiting for him to continue. “What do ya call that kinda shot?”

“It was a tequila shot, look I am sorry Nat dared me-”. Y/n was cut off by Bucky grabbing her neck and pulling her up to him pressing his lips against hers. Y/n responded immediately to the kiss placing her hands on Bucky’s muscular chest.

Pulling away he looked at her with his forehead on hers and looked thoughtful before he said “tastes good.”

Neslyn leaned against the pool stick watching the other contemplate their shot before leaning against the table and steadying their own cue. Before aiming and taking the shot. Instead of the cue ball hitting one of the solids or stripes, the white ball bounced off the table and onto the floor. Sending the redhead into a fit of giggles. “That.. That was an excellent shot, keep up the pace and you’ll be winning in no time.” 

anonymous asked:

Alrighty. so let's get busy shall we? *grabs pool stick and tosses one to Negan* grab the whiskey for me, will you? *Negan tosses over the whiskey and i catch the bottle and open it* so what do you think about me being a wife? since i'm not a wife technically yet. i'd love to be one though. *hops onto pool table and pats, gesturing him to sit down next to her* i have a question for you mister. i'm only 19, but i can tell there's at least some good in you after all. a thank you would be nice

Get ready to lose, darlin’ *smirks and catch the pool stick, tossing you the whiskey* and what the fuck is the question? *I ask as I lean against the table beside you* *looks at you with a raised eyebrow* what the hell am I thanking you for?

- Negan