Okay, but Jack Noir is THE perfect cartoon villain, and cartoon villains are hard to do well.
Goes on a murderous rampage because he doesn’t want to wear a silly outfit, and because he’s bored. Gets off on dog magazines. Which is funny because later he actually becomes a dog. Murderous impulses prevent him from escaping prison. Don’t tell me that didn’t have you laughing your ass off.
But also Terrifying: Ho. Ly. Fuck.
With the body horror chimera thing goin on and the fact he pops out of nowhere and Then he gets the pool ball eyes and Holy Actual living fuck. Bout wet my pants when he killed bro. What good is a villain if they can’t get your heart pounding a little?
-Not exactly a complex well rounded human being-(doesn’t really need to be since we understand he’s supposed to be like a video game NPC)–But multifaceted he can hold his own in comedic, dramatic, and action scenes. And he can do them in quick succession. Hates Queens.
Loves Jade, and Licorice Scotty dogs, and Murder.
-But most importantly-Narratively logical. His motivations are silly, and irrational, but he still HAS very clear motivations we can some up in one or two sentences.
He kills everything in sight because being omnipotent is boring. He chases after the Felt because it’s his town and his turf. He Stabs the guard because we’ve establish over and over again that he kind of is addicted to bloodshed. There’s never any confusion as to what his motivations are. And if there is, it is perfectly obvious a mystery is being set up and we’re not SUPPOSED to know, not because the author doesn’t know. This makes him scarier because we know that he’s actually driven to do evil deeds. And it makes him funnier too because watching strange and quirky characters be themselves in awkward situations is one of the oldest forms of comedy there is.
But seriosuly though, how many cartoon villains, or villains outside cartoon genres, have you seen who only ever want one thing, only ever function in one type of scene?
How many Bond villains are called ingenious criminal masterminds and yet they do the most stupid things imaginable, because their narrative has no logic to it? And how many villains can be BOTH funny AND scary? Not many?
I was VERY VERY EXCITED to work on this part of collide. The direction from Andrew was basically ‘Lord English in Undertale style’ so I did several mock ups. The first image is the one that made it into the final flash (without colors). I also did several fullbody sprites, but you don’t get the cool Pool Ball Eyes animation from it because it’s so small.
Having watched the final [S] Act 7 animation a couple more times, it’s really become apparent how spoilt and bratty a lot of people are being. It’s such a beautiful, artistic piece, and it leaves the story in the perfect place.
Here’s how I see the story’s end, for any who may still be confused.
In chronological(ish) order:
The events of [S] Collide happen, leaving Lord English the only remaining enemy, and all the kids are alive. Meanwhile, Caliborn, having defeated his denizen, finds the juju and destroys his Judgement Clock, absorbing its power and gaining the pool-ball eyes. At some point after this (relative to Caliborn, and after [S] Collide for the kids), John retcon-zaps himself and the other 7 players to surprise Caliborn, and the beta kids are trapped inside the juju.
Also meanwhile, Vriska leads the ghost army in the last stage of the battle against Lord English. Alt!Calliope sacrifices herself to create a black hole, consuming the green sun, whose power is stripped from Lord English, leaving him vulnerable. Vriska then releases the juju, and the beta kids emerge and finish off Lord English (implied, not shown). John then zaps the kids and others to the podium outside Skaia.
The two carapaces stoke the Forge, the tadpole is released and flies to the core of Skaia’s battlefield, where it matures and becomes their new universe. The door activates, and John opens the door, transporting everyone into the new universe, where they reform Earth and live on.
Alt!Calliope destroying the Green Sun and its effect on Lord English
Remember alt!Calliope chose the Path of the Martyr, sacrificing herself for the chance to save all of creation, basically. So what does she do? She destroys the Green Sun, the eternal power source of all First Guardians.
This strips Lord English of all his First Guardian powers, and takes away one of two reasons for his immortality.
His flashing pool ball eyes are replaced by solid 8-balls.
Calliope basically sunk the other balls - she created a win condition for Vriska and the ghost army, leaving just the 8 ball - the final win condition.
Caliborn and the clock - the other immortal condition
The other problem with Lord English’s immortality has to do with what is shown with Caliborn - he destroyed his Heroic/Just clock - leaving him completely immortal, as his death cannot be ruled as Just or Heroic.
So this is the final obstacle that must be overcome.
The House Juju is stated to be his weakness.
The same Juju he encounters right before he destroys the clock.
The same Juju Vriska wields to Lord English.
That’s your 8-ball sinker right there.
Lord English is defeated.
Interpretations of the kids in relation to the Juju
There are two explanations I can think of:
1. After receiving their reward, the kids, as foretold, go to defeat Caliborn, the betas get sucked up, etc, then when we see a door form as Vriska unleashes the Juju, they are released. After LE is defeated, they go back and join the others in the new universe. (most straightforward explanation)
2. The kids that got sucked in to the Juju are not from the final timeline we witnessed, but instead from the pre-retcon “original alpha” “pre-Aranea” timeline, or the alpha timeline that should have existed, breaking off from Aranea’s interference, that got un-alpha’d by John’s retcon shenanigans changing things from before the doomed/alpha split. (less straightforward explanation)
If 2 is the case, I’d also further surmise that these kids are the one to create the universe that creates Caliborn, fulfilling the time loop, while the kids we see create their new universe, are free of it.
Actually, the above could still be the case even if 1 is the answer, because the old timeline could still be the loop fulfillment timeline. Since the house turning white in this timeline seems symbolic of their being freed. Because their timeline was caused by John being set loose from canon, so they are also set loose.
Anyway, moving on.
The Earth future vision - is it real?
Before it begins, we see time symbols and a clock fast forward. At the end, the clock moves backward. We are seeing the future.
They absolutely get their happy end.
And it is the good ending. They won.
Q. What about Karkat? The kids are God Tier, Kanaya is a Rainbow Drinker, will he be the only one to die?
A. While this is technically just speculation, I think, with the idea that you become Gods of the universe when you win and enter - that even if you have not yet God Tiered, when you enter the win door, you get God immortality. That’s my thinking, anyway.
Q. Where was Terezi during the future part?
A. I think she probably fucked off somewhere with Vriska. The future part was specifically the future of Earth. They have a whole Universe available to explore. After Vriska was finished with LE, she’s totally the type to not rest and find some other shit to do, and Terezi I’d bet went with her.
Q. What about Davepeta?
A. I don’t know, but they are probably okay.
Homestuck was an amazing, amazing journey, and let’s not forget, a creation mythos. There is still so much of what we were given to explore and wonder about and that, I think, is part of its beauty.