//I swear it’s not all just dirty jokes…only the first part…//
-They tried to do a secret santa one year and failed miserably because let’s face it none of them can keep a secret.
-Two-Bit and Steve go back and forth making poop jokes, especially when one of them have the urge.
-”It’s prairie doggin’!”
-”It’s playin’ peek-a-boo!”
-”It’s comin’ down the road!”
-Literally no topic is off the table(except maybe the Curtis parent’s death bc it’s sad)
-They will sit there and talk about the grossest shit imaginable and unimaginable.
-Angela joins right in when she’s around.
-Sometimes they’ll all get into a fairly serious mood, usually when another one of them needs advice for something.
-Good lord Pony & Johnny’s faces are hilarious when they cringe at something crude someone else just said.
-Curly is convinced they have parties at the Curtis house all the time and just never invite him, especially since every time he walks by there’s loud music blaring and like every god damn light on in the house(usually due to Two-Bit)
-Soda is the main instigator, especially for hyping everyone else up. If you need to get hyped up for something call him.
-If more than two of the guys sleep over at a time none of them ever get any sleep because they just talk and play cards and watch TV.
-Besides Darry, that is. This man could sleep through a train running right through the house.
-When all three Curtis brothers shared a bedroom Soda and Pony would always mess with a sleeping(more like hibernating) Darry to see if they could wake him.
-Thankfully for them, they never ever did.
-Tim always just shows up unannounced every now and then, usually reading the newspaper he found on their front doorstep and he’ll make himself a cup of their coffee too.
-When asked about him making himself at home, Tim simply replies “Mi casa, su casa, or however the hell it goes, right?”
-Omg it pisses Darry off so much when someone touches the paper before he does, whatever you do at least keep all the sections in order because he will go through and check to see if it’s how it should be.
-So needless to say, Darry’s eye twitches slightly when he rolls out of bed and shuffles to the bathroom, only to find a quite chipper and energized Tim sitting on his couch reading the paper.
-But he can’t stay mad too long(usually just until he gets his coffee) because Tim is always pretty nice to them.
-Steve has a habit of “fixing” things in the house and I don’t even mean like home improvement. I mean he’ll move the coaster holder to an angle because he thinks it looks better. He basically straightens things up, but only like the really miniscule things.
-Dally is the one to call if you want help with a home improvement project. He’s actually pretty good with pipes(no pun/innuendo intended, you dirty minded reader). He knows his way around a caulk gun too. It also helps that Darry pays him(like a few bucks) to help out.
-Dally always tries to refuse the money but Darry will force him to take it.
-Two-Bit has practically become a permanent fixture in the house.
-Johnny is the main one who cleans up the house, he feels guilty if he leaves his trash laying around, so he might as well clean up after the other guys too.
-Pony usually unenthusiastically helps Johnny, he’s more of a laundry type of guy.
Ah, yes, Bill the pony. For those who haven’t read the books and so are unfamiliar with the whole saga of poor old Bill, here’s his tale in full:
When Aragorn and the hobbits were planning to leave Bree, Bill Ferny (who was then a spy for the nazgul) released all the horses and ponies from the stables. The only pony left in town was his own, who he offered to sell to Frodo for three times its fair price. Tolkien describes the poor guy as “a bony,underfed, and dispirited animal; but it did not look like dying just yet.”
During the journey to Rivendell Bill the pony’s condition improved, so that by the time Frodo was injured and set to ride Bill, he was “improved wonderfully; it already seemed fatter and
stronger, and had begun to show an affection for its new masters, especially
for Sam.” Tolkien even says that the pony developed a great talent for picking out smooth paths that didn’t jostle Frodo’s injuries.
And months later, when the fellowship is ready to set out from Rivendell, Bill is chosen to be their pack-pony. His description here is vastly different from when we met him in Bree:
The stay in Rivendell had worked a great wonder of change on him: he was glossy and seemed to have the vigour of youth. It was Sam who had insisted on
choosing him, declaring that Bill (as he called him) would pine, if he did not
`That animal can nearly talk,’ he said, `and would talk, if he stayed
here much longer. He gave me a look as plain as Mr. Pippin could speak it: if
you don’t let me go with you, Sam, I’ll follow on my own.’ So Bill was going
as the beast of burden, yet he was the only member of the Company that did not seem depressed.
This journey was harder than the last, but Bill did his duty honorably. He carried extra firewood, shielded the hobbits from snow, survived (but definitely did not enjoy) the wolf attack. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it), Bill could not come with them into Moria, and so he was set loose at the gates. It was a hard parting for poor Sam:
‘But you can’t leave poor old Bill behind in this forsaken place, Mr.Gandalf! ’ cried Sam, angry and distressed. `I won’t have it, and that’s flat.
After he has come so far and all! ' 'I am sorry, Sam,’ said the wizard. `But when the Door opens I do not
think you will be able to drag your Bill inside, into the long dark of Moria.
You will have to choose between Bill and your master.' 'He’d follow Mr. Frodo into a dragon’s den, if I led him,’ protested Sam.
`It’d be nothing short of murder to turn him loose with all these wolves
about.' 'It will be short of murder, I hope,’ said Gandalf. He laid his hand on
the pony’s head, and spoke in a low voice. `Go with words of guard and guiding
on you,’ he said. `You are a wise beast, and have learned much in Rivendell.
Make your ways to places where you can find grass, and so come in time to
Elrond’s house, or wherever you wish to go.
`There, Sam! He will have quite as much chance of escaping wolves and
getting home as we have.' Sam stood sullenly by the pony and returned no answer. Bill, seeming to
understand well what was going on, nuzzled up to him, putting his nose to
Sam’s ear. Sam burst into tears, and fumbled with the straps, unlading all the pony’s packs and throwing them on the ground.
When the Watcher attacked, Bill ran for it. He made his way back to Bree, where Butterbur and Nob looked after him. On their homeward journey Bill and Sam were reunited, and he again became their pack-pony (and was said to be “well content” to be with Sam again.) Bill even got a good kick in on his original master (and namesake) Bill Ferny when he was chased from the Brandywine Gate. The last we see of Bill he was carrying Sam to (and from) the Grey Havens to say farewell to Frodo and Gandalf.
Do you ever read a fantasy quest type book and the heroes always eat cold meat pies on the road after a night in an inn? I feel like 75% of the books I’ve read have included such a scenario. Well, here’s the pie. It’s delicious, it’s filling, and it puts you in a rather festive mood. “Yay, we’re on a quest! I can’t wait to slay the dragon/defeat that evil emperor/destroy the political hierarchy of the capital city! Everything is going just swell!”
Then, you sleep on the ground every night and it rains and your mentor dies and your love spurns you and your swordfighting isn’t up to par.
But still. You had a meat pie. Keep practicing your swordfighting; you’ll kill the emperor eventually, since you’re fated to and all.
(And thus ends Hannah’s YA fantasy rant)
The Prancing Pony’s Famous Meat Pie
1 pound / 1.5 kg ground pork ½ pound / 0.75 kg lean ground beef 2 potatoes 1 medium-to-large onion diced 1 to 2 large cloves garlic, chopped fine ½ teaspoon / 2 g ground clove ¼ teaspoon / 1 g ground nutmeg ¼ teaspoon / 1 g mL ground allspice ¾ teaspoon / 3 g mL ground sage ½ teaspoon / 2 g dried thyme 1 teaspoon / 4 g ground black pepper 1 teaspoon / 4 g beef bullion ¾ teaspoon / 3 g mL salt ½ cup / 120 mL water 1 prepared pie crust, top and bottom
Pre-prepare pie crust; preferably homemade. Preheat oven to 375˚ F / 190˚ C.
Peel and dice potatoes, actual dice size or smaller. Boil on high for 6 minutes; drain and set aside.
Cook meat and onions in saucepan. Add spices; cook until brown. Add water and allow to cook into the meat for about five minutes. Allow meat to cool; drain excess liquid.
Place bottom crust in a 12 inch cast iron skillet. Then in goes the meat, and then the top crust. Pinch edges of crust and cut ventilation holes in the pie. Optional step: Brush egg wash on top of crust. It will make the pie prettier.
Bake for about 40-50 minutes or until top crust is lightly browned and flaky.
Let cool before serving, or else your slices will fall apart, like in the pictures above.