The Miracle of Bacon (and Zantac and Good Therapists)
Now that the holiday season is upon us, let me share with you a little story about the miracles thus far in our lives.
Once upon a time, I was the perfect mother. I exclusively breast-fed fed my children until they self-weaned, then fed them only the most nutritious, organic, homemade foods around the dinner table. No sugar or processed food or saturated fats for my little ones! I refused to expose them to electronic media before the age of two, and taught them baby sign language so they would never feel the frustration of being unable to communicate.
The fact that I had not gotten pregnant yet was irrelevant. After five years of infertility, I just KNEW that if we were ever blessed with a child, I would do everything in my power to be the perfect mother to my perfect angel.
The best laid plans, and all that shit…