polydorus

HECUBA IS A BITCH

HECUBA IS HAVING A REALLY SHIT DAY. SHE USED TO BE QUEEN OF TROY, BUT NOW HER CITY IS ON FIRE AND HER HUSBAND AND MOST OF HER KIDS ARE DEAD. ONE OF HER REMAINING CHILDREN, POLYXENA HAS BEEN SACRIFICED AT ACHILLES’ TOMB BECAUSE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, GREEKS, HUMAN SACRIFICE??!?

LUCKILY SHE’S SENT HER LAST SON, POLYDORUS, OFF TO SOME FRIENDLY KING TO BE SAFE AS FUCKING HOUSES. OF COURSE THE KID’S NOT SAFE, HE’S BEEN MURDERED TO DEATH TOO.

HECUBA FINDS HIS BODY DUMPED ON THE BEACH AND IS PRETTY FUCKING MAD ABOUT THIS. SHE GOES TO THE KING WHO IS SUPPOSED TO BE LOOKING AFTER HER SON AND HAS A SECRET MEETING WITH HIM.

HE PRETENDS HER SON IS STILL ALIVE TO STEAL GOLD FROM HER, BECAUSE DOESN’T EVERYONE JUST LOVE GETTING MONEY OUT OF VULNERABLE OLD LADIES? HECUBA IS SO DONE WITH HIS SHIT THAT SHE SETS HER GANG OF LADY FRIENDS ON HIM AND RIPS HIS FUCKING EYES OUT AND DRINKS HIS BLOOD FOR GOOD MEASURE.

SHE THEN TURNS INTO A DOG SINCE STATISTICALLY DOGS ARE MUCH HAPPIER THAN TROJAN WOMEN.