I’m so fuckin’ sick and tired of the Photoshop Show me somethin’ natural like afro on Richard Pryor Show me somethin’ natural like ass with some stretchmarks Still will take you down right on your mama’s couch in Polo socks, ayy
“I’m so fuckin’ sick and tired of the Photoshop, Show me somethin’ natural like afro on Richard Pryor, Show me somethin’ natural like ass with some stretch marks, Still will take you down right on your mama’s couch in Polo socks”
Summary: Taehyung didn’t think he would ever be able to successfully conjure a Patronus charm, until he meets you. Genre: Fluff, Harry Potter!AU Word Count: 4,733 Author’s Note: My take on the “always-partying-kid falls for the always-studying-kid” prompt. Also, the fact that I basically finished this in a day is alarming but I wanted to get this out of my hair before I really have to study for my exams for this week.
You have always been known for your quiet nature, keeping to yourself and the mountain load of books you were constantly surrounded with every single day. You didn’t have many friends, rather a close-knit group of girls with a surprising mixture of personalities from extravagant to soft—and you never let that small number bother you. You never prided yourself on being the smartest student in class, but you did take delight in your time management skills, your organizational abilities and the fact that you could put in effort for assignments or studying and get rewarded with good marks and good grace. You believed in hard work, and for very good reasons.
Your introverted perspective always came with a price, to step into everything and take in everyone with an open-mindedness, to never judge, to just keep to yourself and watch things unfold from a distance. In fact, you like to think of yourself as a relatively appealing person. You never enjoy interacting with people, but on those occasions you would put in an effort to remain respectful and kind, displaying a pleasant atmosphere in a fashion similar to the whole “treat people the way you want to be treated” kind of mindset.
You’re a firm believer in this mentality, trusting that you could overcome any rough patch with anyone as long as you remained calm and collected, as long as you could communicate your wants and needs with peers and receive the same respect as you gave out.
You don’t hate a lot of things, and maybe you don’t have the heart capacity to truly hate anything—but you think that you might just hold enough resentment for Kim Taehyung to capture a first.
signs as niggas you probably gon put up with in your life
aries: the nigga’s probably an athlete, and a star athlete at that. unless he’s 100% committed to you, don’t even try it cuz everyone already loves them and if they’ve got options, they’re trying them. they KNOW they’re fine and they KNOW they’re a catch. loves to be complimented, like will truly BEAM cuz they like knowing you believe in them/think they’re great. taurus: the real nice nigga who’s the netflix, takeout, and chill master. he wants a long-term stable relationship, but since he takes forever to make up his mind (cuz he’s in it for the lang haul), someone gon’ get hurt from him probably having like semi-deep non-committed relationships with 2+ people. knows all the best restaurants, though, and a cuddle monster when they actually wanna be touched. gemini: the nigga who looks cold and unapproachable but is actually really nice when you finally talk to them. he was sizing you up for mad long cuz he’s not about to talk to you if he thinks it’s gonna be a negative interaction. one day you say or do the wrong thing in his eyes and he switches up for a long ass time if not for life. you don’t know who he really until about three months in when he finally turns off his public persona around you. cancer: the nigga with all the emotions. like ALL the emotions. he’s gonna pretend he’s hard, and he’ll definitely fight a muhfucka with no hesitation, but they’re gonna cry about it (if not actual crying, you’ll here about how fucked up it was that they were pushed to fight for like two weeks). nice dude and a lot of fun, but moody and very literal. makes no assumptions about being together and expects you do the same. leo: you know them niggas who dress for like lookbook.nu with fancy Polo socks and shit? that’s these niggas. look great, expect you to look great, too. need to feel in charge, at least in public. carries themselves like they own everywhere they go. most likely to be a momma’s boy along with capricorn. sexy and he fucking knows it and definitely feels you should know it, too. virgo: he’s got huge ambitions, but if he’s not fulfilling them currently, he’s a pessimist and cranky like hell. mad fun, likes going on adventures and hanging out unless he’s in a funky unfulfilled mood. WILL challenge you to follow your dreams and talents and get irked with you if you don’t take their advice. they don’t take themselves too seriously, but if you take them for a joke/act like they can’t handle their shit, they’ll immediately resent it and you. shitty at texting unless y’all are brand new talking to each other. libra: he’s gorgeous, he can dress, his hair/facial hair is always clean as fuck. either he’s always got money (cuz he likes nice things and gotta work to get em) or he’s broke (cuz he’s mooching off someone). you and his other 3 girlfriends all have the same pet name. ask him about other girls and he’ll start complaining about how you don’t trust him, but he’ll also brag about how other girls flirt with him (and how he supposedly curved em) scorpio: big emotions – big mad, big happy, big sad, big hurt, big vengeful. whether or not you see it is another story. can and will baby/spoil you if you’re with them. disappears cuz he’s upset (or to avoid sharing feelings) and pops back up chillin. will quickly remind you that y’all are not together (either explicitly or indirectly) and then turn around and try to fuck you like it’s y’all anniversary night. J E A L O U S. sagittarius: he doesn’t want your advice lol he just wants you to listen. the nigga who, unless he’s really examined himself, you gotta run from. as in, your momma said you gotta come home right now immediately. sweet as hell, but also a gaslighting master. this is the nigga that gets upset and then gotta turn into cuba gooding jr. swinging at the air in boyz in da hood and fight everyone cuz they’re hurt. if yall argue, he’s gonna act like he’s right even if he’s wrong. capricorn: the nigga that’s probably going places. swears he’s busy all the time (he’s only lying 30-40% of the time). talented and doing something about it. the nigga who really wants you to “be a lady” if you’re a woman, like keep yourself together and go out for business casual dinner after work. y’all break up cuz he got a new job (and a new partner) in a new city. the alpha male that still cares what his boys think too much. aquarius: funny as hell if he’s a pothead cuz then he says all the weird shit he thinks. the “i mean, i GUESS we go together” type of nigga, like his main commitment is to himself and being stress-free as possible (even if it’s to a detriment), so if you not going along with that vibe, his attention’s gone. party nigga but then STUPID quiet if y’all alone sometimes. pisces: most likely to not be over his ex (along with scorpio, libra, and cancer) so make sure you don’t look like them. sensitive but not gonna admit it even though it’s probably obvious .he just wants to share earbuds with you and vibe out (but he wants to control the music). generally happy nigga, you won’t know he’s gonna break from emotions til he actually does and turns into a fucking puddle.
So. Hilarious thing. I’m getting like half a dozen plus shipments from that polo/socks/other misc purchase online. (They have individual stores fulfill what they can instead of having a depot). Anyways. I was stressed about them arriving separately through the week. Well. I typod my shipping address so they’re going to hold them at the closest FedEx for me. Fucking up and it working out is my only skill in life ✌🏻