I’m so fuckin’ sick and tired of the Photoshop Show me somethin’ natural like afro on Richard Pryor Show me somethin’ natural like ass with some stretchmarks Still will take you down right on your mama’s couch in Polo socks, ayy
“I’m so fuckin’ sick and tired of the Photoshop, Show me somethin’ natural like afro on Richard Pryor, Show me somethin’ natural like ass with some stretch marks, Still will take you down right on your mama’s couch in Polo socks”
Summary: Taehyung didn’t think he would ever be able to successfully conjure a Patronus charm, until he meets you. Genre: Fluff, Harry Potter!AU Word Count: 4,733 Author’s Note: My take on the “always-partying-kid falls for the always-studying-kid” prompt. Also, the fact that I basically finished this in a day is alarming but I wanted to get this out of my hair before I really have to study for my exams for this week.
You have always been known for your quiet nature, keeping to yourself and the mountain load of books you were constantly surrounded with every single day. You didn’t have many friends, rather a close-knit group of girls with a surprising mixture of personalities from extravagant to soft—and you never let that small number bother you. You never prided yourself on being the smartest student in class, but you did take delight in your time management skills, your organizational abilities and the fact that you could put in effort for assignments or studying and get rewarded with good marks and good grace. You believed in hard work, and for very good reasons.
Your introverted perspective always came with a price, to step into everything and take in everyone with an open-mindedness, to never judge, to just keep to yourself and watch things unfold from a distance. In fact, you like to think of yourself as a relatively appealing person. You never enjoy interacting with people, but on those occasions you would put in an effort to remain respectful and kind, displaying a pleasant atmosphere in a fashion similar to the whole “treat people the way you want to be treated” kind of mindset.
You’re a firm believer in this mentality, trusting that you could overcome any rough patch with anyone as long as you remained calm and collected, as long as you could communicate your wants and needs with peers and receive the same respect as you gave out.
You don’t hate a lot of things, and maybe you don’t have the heart capacity to truly hate anything—but you think that you might just hold enough resentment for Kim Taehyung to capture a first.
signs as niggas you probably gon put up with in your life
aries: the nigga’s probably an athlete, and a star athlete at that. unless he’s 100% committed to you, don’t even try it cuz everyone already loves them and if they’ve got options, they’re trying them. they KNOW they’re fine and they KNOW they’re a catch. loves to be complimented, like will truly BEAM cuz they like knowing you believe in them/think they’re great. taurus: the real nice nigga who’s the netflix, takeout, and chill master. he wants a long-term stable relationship, but since he takes forever to make up his mind (cuz he’s in it for the lang haul), someone gon’ get hurt from him probably having like semi-deep non-committed relationships with 2+ people. knows all the best restaurants, though, and a cuddle monster when they actually wanna be touched. gemini: the nigga who looks cold and unapproachable but is actually really nice when you finally talk to them. he was sizing you up for mad long cuz he’s not about to talk to you if he thinks it’s gonna be a negative interaction. one day you say or do the wrong thing in his eyes and he switches up for a long ass time if not for life. you don’t know who he really until about three months in when he finally turns off his public persona around you. cancer: the nigga with all the emotions. like ALL the emotions. he’s gonna pretend he’s hard, and he’ll definitely fight a muhfucka with no hesitation, but they’re gonna cry about it (if not actual crying, you’ll here about how fucked up it was that they were pushed to fight for like two weeks). nice dude and a lot of fun, but moody and very literal. makes no assumptions about being together and expects you do the same. leo: you know them niggas who dress for like lookbook.nu with fancy Polo socks and shit? that’s these niggas. look great, expect you to look great, too. need to feel in charge, at least in public. carries themselves like they own everywhere they go. most likely to be a momma’s boy along with capricorn. sexy and he fucking knows it and definitely feels you should know it, too. virgo: he’s got huge ambitions, but if he’s not fulfilling them currently, he’s a pessimist and cranky like hell. mad fun, likes going on adventures and hanging out unless he’s in a funky unfulfilled mood. WILL challenge you to follow your dreams and talents and get irked with you if you don’t take their advice. they don’t take themselves too seriously, but if you take them for a joke/act like they can’t handle their shit, they’ll immediately resent it and you. shitty at texting unless y’all are brand new talking to each other. libra: he’s gorgeous, he can dress, his hair/facial hair is always clean as fuck. either he’s always got money (cuz he likes nice things and gotta work to get em) or he’s broke (cuz he’s mooching off someone). you and his other 3 girlfriends all have the same pet name. ask him about other girls and he’ll start complaining about how you don’t trust him, but he’ll also brag about how other girls flirt with him (and how he supposedly curved em) scorpio: big emotions – big mad, big happy, big sad, big hurt, big vengeful. whether or not you see it is another story. can and will baby/spoil you if you’re with them. disappears cuz he’s upset (or to avoid sharing feelings) and pops back up chillin. will quickly remind you that y’all are not together (either explicitly or indirectly) and then turn around and try to fuck you like it’s y’all anniversary night. J E A L O U S. sagittarius: he doesn’t want your advice lol he just wants you to listen. the nigga who, unless he’s really examined himself, you gotta run from. as in, your momma said you gotta come home right now immediately. sweet as hell, but also a gaslighting master. this is the nigga that gets upset and then gotta turn into cuba gooding jr. swinging at the air in boyz in da hood and fight everyone cuz they’re hurt. if yall argue, he’s gonna act like he’s right even if he’s wrong. capricorn: the nigga that’s probably going places. swears he’s busy all the time (he’s only lying 30-40% of the time). talented and doing something about it. the nigga who really wants you to “be a lady” if you’re a woman, like keep yourself together and go out for business casual dinner after work. y’all break up cuz he got a new job (and a new partner) in a new city. the alpha male that still cares what his boys think too much. aquarius: funny as hell if he’s a pothead cuz then he says all the weird shit he thinks. the “i mean, i GUESS we go together” type of nigga, like his main commitment is to himself and being stress-free as possible (even if it’s to a detriment), so if you not going along with that vibe, his attention’s gone. party nigga but then STUPID quiet if y’all alone sometimes. pisces: most likely to not be over his ex (along with scorpio, libra, and cancer) so make sure you don’t look like them. sensitive but not gonna admit it even though it’s probably obvious .he just wants to share earbuds with you and vibe out (but he wants to control the music). generally happy nigga, you won’t know he’s gonna break from emotions til he actually does and turns into a fucking puddle.
P-Goon: first he’d look at you like “? What lol out of all the ideas I just suggested…..thrift shopping?” But he’d LOVE it after like the first store. He’d find all sorts of little trinkets and shows you, hella amused that there’s so many items that he wants. Ends up buying out like a whole rack of clothes, most likely ripped jeans and shirts.
Hojoon: he’d be the one suggesting the idea tbh, he loves going to the thrift store- mostly bc he’s like “Well I could be spending my money on more important things, like milk and food so” yeah he’s all in. Takes pictures of you trying on the weirdest clothing items and jewelry, and laughs bc yall are making fools of yourselves in front of everyone.
Sangdo: he’s so fkin cheesy, he can’t stop whisper-singing “thrift shop” and making you giggle. Suggest that you try out all the costumes so you could save up on your Halloween shopping, and you’d actually end up getting a good deal on cute matching costumes.
Nakta: only went in there w/ you to get some new pairs of headphones………he had no idea yall would be staying there for literally hours, picking out the best finds. You’d basically have a brand new wardrobe with all the stuff you’ve purchased, and he’s there hyping you up every time you try on something new.
Hansol: gosh this adorable kitten wouldn’t know where to look first. He’d drag you to every isle, pointing out all the cool stuff sitting up on the shelves. Asks the employers if he could negotiate a price lmao “Hansol, no pls jfc the price is written on the-” “yeah yeah, I just wanna see if I can get it for 2 cents :’)”
B-Joo: stays by your side like a lil puppy until he finds something that catches his eye- then there’s no getting him to shut up. Wants to go to like 4 different stores to see if they “have a different size” ????? He’d get on your nerves tbh and he’d annoy the cashiers, always going to pay for something then realizing he’s not done……..then going back once more and smiles innocently at you.
Xero: I mean I doubt he does thrifting, but he’ll tag along to humour you. He might actually find some stuff that interest him, and he’ll be hella shook by how cheap they really are. Buys a pair of Polo socks and pretends they’re brand new, probably. Refuses to buy anything ripped unless you’ve recommended it and told him he’d look cute in it.
A-Tom: ahhhh he’d go crazy, he’s the perfect thrift shop buddy. He’d annoy the employers AND the customers too tbh, with his loud ass “hey!!!! Y/n, LOOK AT THIS THOR COSTUME LMAO” and “y/n I think someone’s farted in the baby section, don’t come anywhere near here” lord.
Yano: keeps his eye out for the most stylish finds, and actually gets lucky with a few cool zipper jackets. He’ll ask for your opinion on everything he sees, and gives thoughtful input when you ask for his opinion. Throws shade at previous owners of certain items and laughs when someone overhears him.
More than any other time of year, spring makes me think of suede jackets and lighter colours. I’ve toned down the palette (apart from the jacket) and I’m also wearing unlined loafers with linen socks. All in all, it feels just right for the beautiful day we’re having here.
Another beautiful spring day but it’s still cold in the morning so the extra layer didn’t go amiss. That said, the extra layer is a linen field jacket so it’s not hefty at all. I’ve kept things casual with a long sleeve polo on top and suede loafers below.
If you’re planning on wearing a polo with a suit, make sure that the collar stands up properly.