FOXTEL Breakthrough Award Recipient Jai Courtney attends Australians In Film’s 5th Annual Awards Gala at NeueHouse Hollywood on October 19, 2016 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images for AIF)
i feel like at least once courfeyac has been in a hurry and put on ferre’s clothes instead of his own and didn’t notice until he was half way to class and just stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and looked down and cried the rest of the way to class because he can’t pull off the old man look like ferre can
and at least once ferre has put on courfs clothes and didn’t notice until someone at the hospital was like ???? is that a polka dot bow tie and neon pink skinny jeans and ferre just looks down ‘why yes, yes they are’
when they tell the amis grantaire mumbles something about “returning the cloths at least” while enj ignores the pointed look grantaire is sending him because he totally has no idea where grantaire’s green jacket is gdi leave him alone
Summer Casual! Bespoke A.W. Bauer & Co linen jacket made in a Austrian Linen. Jacket features triple patch pockets and half lining. Paired with navy trousers, bengal stripe shirt, linen handkerchief and polka dot tie, all from A.W. Bauer & Co.
Warnings: Make-up sex? They don’t always have the same outcome.
This was originally a tag from @noir0neko which I shuffle the songs in my phone and write about the first song and about my first bias. But I thought, why wouldn’t we use this to appreciate the beautiful Kim Seokjin?
I shove everything into the suitcase, my clothes in the drawers and my makeup products near the mirror table, anything that can be a trace for him to find me. They stack up on each other like the pile of messed up emotions that I’m trying to figure out where their rightful places are. How long does it take for a relationship to trip and fall? One month, one year or five years? I truly wonder how long Seokjin would take to forget me. My mind is as foggy as the evening outside. I open the closet and sitting right in front of me is the white teddy bear with a pink polka dot bow tie around its neck. Memory rushes back as soon as I pick it up. Funny how this is the clearest thing that has been on my mind for the past twenty-four hours.
“I want that.” I said, pointing my finger at the teddy bear in the middle.
“The biggest one?” Seokjin asked and I nodded. The biggest one. White and pink. He approached the shooting section where it lies on the high shelf. “I’ll give it a shot.”
The old man behind the bars exchanged his rifle for two red tickets. Seokjin set the rifle where it should be, aiming at the stack of Styrofoam cups. He bent down and closed one of his eyes. 3…2…1… POW! The rubber bullet shot through one of the cups in the middle row, causing the rest on the top to fumble down and roll on the ground. My eyes widen and the sour apple lollipop hung loosely on the verge of my mouth. It was like watching a movie, where everything too perfect to be in real life. He straightened his back and turned around, looking at me with the brightest grin ever.
“Here.” He handed me the teddy bear. It seemed so small in his hands but I could barely carry it.
“Wow, Kim Seokjin. You were so cool, you know? A bunch of girls was gluing their eyes on you.”
“But were you watching?”
“That’s all I need to know.”
I thought to myself: “Shit… I’m falling in love with him all over again.”
I hammer my nails into the cotton stuffed animal. Should I bring it with me, or should I leave it in his care? The real question here is if I took it with me, would I be able to spend a moment without seeing his face and memorizing the little habits that he does by my side like humming to my favorite song? No… Every piece of me would crave for him.
“Put it down.”
Seokjin’s voice turns my head around. He stands there, leaning his head restlessly on the door with his four fingers inside the side pockets, hanging his thumbs loosely outside. I can see the invisible weight pressing on his shoulders, as heavy as the whole world. Seeing him like this tortures my eyes to the point they bleed out tears. He comes closer, taking the teddy bear away from my hands.
“We still have one more night together, so don’t take everything away from me yet.”
I look at him long enough to break a smile. “Don’t be so serious, you’ll forget me before you realize it.”
“There you go again.” His hand places on my burning cheek. “It’s raining. If you go now, it’ll be dangerous.”
He puts the teddy bear back to where it belongs then he reaches down for my suitcase and starts to unpack everything one by one. He takes my clothes out and fold them neatly on top of each other, tucking them back into the wardrobe. My lipsticks, hairbrush and toothbrush are returned to where they were before all of these crazy shits happened. I just stand there, watching him fixing me, fixing us.
“Let’s get you cleaned up.” Seokjin folds the suitcase and slides it under the bed. He leads me into the washroom by my wrist. The lights are switched on and in the mirror, a soulless person stares at me. She seems to get along well with my stormy mood, yet I don’t like the both of them. He lifts my body up as if I’m a plastic doll and places on the counter of the sinks. Only now that I’m sitting on a higher platform, I can gaze directly at his forehead. He cleans the melted mascara on my cheekbones and in the corners of my eyes with wet wipes. His soaking thumb peels the artificial color off my lips. Little by little, I become more transparent in his eyes. The view of him wears me out, how his dark circles and dehydrated lips irritate me. We don’t feel the need to talk, not when the drops of water from the tap have been making a harmony that we both enjoy.
He smiles. Has Seokjin’s smile been this beautiful?
He begins brushing my hair. He must enjoy untangling this mess one by one. His crooked fingers untie all the knots, making sure my scalp won’t feel any pain. Our love is secure because of the little things he does just like this. I notice them all, jotting them down so one day I can do something for him too. The brush swims through my hair from the roots to the end, from the sides to the back. My eyes don’t want to leave him. Just like how he’s grooming me like his precious doll, my attention is drawn to him as if he’s the most valuable painting at a high-class auction.
Seokjin puts the brush down when he can run his fingers all the way through my hair. He lifts me down from the counter and take me back to our bedroom. He sits on the king size bed right where he sleeps at night, holding out his hand.
“I’ll keep you for just one more night.”
Something about the offer tickles my throat. By the tone of his voice and his diction, the end seems so closer, even closer than I thought I would be. I place my hand on his palm so that it fits perfectly inside and fill that empty space right next to him. We lie down next to each other, facing each other, looking at each other just like every morning when we wake up and every night when we wish each other goodnight. But something about tonight feels different. It must be the sound of rain attacking our window or the delusion of connecting the land and sky so that airplanes wouldn’t seem out of reach tomorrow.
“Do you love me?” Seokjin asks. The most basic question in a relationship that many find hard to convey into words.
His lips press on mine, hard and soft all at once. I push his head closer to mine, stamping his kiss on my lips so that I will never forget how it feels like. It is more than just the regular first date kiss or the hot and steamy one which involve tongues. The ingredients are regret and afraid. Regret about the decisions that have been made to separate each other and afraid to move on and gradually forget about the other person.
He climbs on top of my body, stripping me from the fabric covering my body. His hands cup my cheeks as he kisses me all over again. From my lips, forehead, nose to chin, I am soaked in his affection. Softly, he inserts himself in, blending out shadows to one big black abstract on the wall. His dick goes slowly in without making me scream his name or kick the blanket out of the sudden rush of adrenaline. Everything is subtle enough for me to notice the hidden corners of emotions he brings. My body tenses up when all of the empty spaces in my pelvis is filled up. I arch my back, breathing out gasps of air inside his kiss. The sensation of his touch rushes through my nervous system. I shiver under his embrace. He thrusts in faster, kisses me harder. I start to sweat, drops of water fall from my temples down to the pillow. Until the pipe is unblocked and the pressure is released, I can regain control of my breath.
Seokjin lies down next to me. His arms wrap around my body as my body curls up like a cocoon. Even when he’s sleeping, he still wants to ensure that I’d be there tomorrow when he wakes up. I look at him and there’s no difference between this handsome man and a boy who would do anything to protect his favorite robot. When his breath is constant, I quietly unlock myself from him. I put on my clothes and continue to pack everything as quietly as I can. He shifts his body once or twice. As soon as I make sure that there are no traces of me in the house, I lock my suitcase.
Before leaving, I look at him for the last time. His side profile has always been flawless. Thousands of pictures are taken inside my head so I can store them in my memory album. I kiss him. A light kiss in place of a proper goodbye. My mouth forms a smile but tears are flooding out of my eyes, it’s hard to believe that they’re on the same body.
If you ever wonder where I am, look up in the sky and ask Mr. Airplane. He will take you to where I am waiting for you, Kim Seokjin. See you again.
A bit short but I hope you enjoyed it. As for me, this was so fun to write even though it’s like 3AM now.