Here go Hillary Clinton drinking bubble tea pandering to Asians in Flushing.
How dare she try to buy votes with a sweet drink. Obviously, eating stuff in a voter’s neighborhood is the surest way to convince those folks that you’re up to date on issues in their community and I can’t believe she would use that universal truth to try to convince voters that she actually cares about them or has their best interests at heart. I’m so glad the press has picked up on her evil tactic the same way they do when every other politician eats food on the campaign trail.
Like when Scott Walker had some pork on a stick…
…because he needed to appeal to voters in Iowa who saw that man eating fried pig and knew he could relate to their concerns.
Or when Rick Perry ate a corn dog…
…because why would a millionaire ever eat a corn dog at a state fair other than pandering to poor people and rural yokels?
Or when Bernie Sanders sat down with a rapper for some soul food in Atlanta…
…and of course everybody erupted with indignation because he was trying to buy the Black vote with fried chicken and greens.
Except, none of that happened, and it’s only pandering when Hillary Clinton does it. She didn’t just want to try a treat in a neighborhood where she was campaigning. Rich white women would never drink bubble tea and its popularity just randomly went on the uptick without any outside influx of new customers. I know the one time I tried bubble tea I was obviously trying to pander my way into this girl’s pants because I knew if I tried something she liked, then I would automatically get the drawls. Had nothing at all to do with being curious about new things based on a recommendation from someone whose opinion I highly regarded.
Well. I guess bubble tea has magic powers because Hillary won New York and I did get the panties. Go bubble tea, long may you reign.