political wizardry

Hogwarts Ranks 3rd On Global Magical School Ranking

[Pictured: End of School Feast, 2015. Reports claim that Harry Potter, former Student at Hogwarts, was in attendance at the request of Headmistress Minerva McGonagall]

The Global Office of Standards in Magical Education today released their 5 year report and ranking of all Wizarding schools worldwide. The substantial report includes the results of the inspections of all 57 institutes across the globe - spanning from Antarctica to Azerbaijan - and has taken place over the past 5 years. The acclaimed office has ranked each school according to various criteria, including overall academic performance, student satisfaction, quality of facilities and extra curricular opportunities.

Our readers will be delighted to hear that the UK’s only Wizarding school - Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry - was rated 3rd on the list, the highest rank they have attained since 1632. Hogwarts has been progressively climbing the leader board since it’s dramatic decline to 57th in 1997-1998, the academic year in which the school was governed by He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named’s own death eaters, Amycus and Alecto Carrow, alongside Headmaster Severus Snape. The twins reportedly refused to allow inspectors into the building, one allegation even suggesting they hexed an unfortunate examiner upon their exit.

G.O.S.M.E commended Hogwarts for its “devoted school community” and “it’s distinctive union between teacher and student.” However Hogwarts did receive a small amount of criticism from the office, which reported “despite it’s exemplary improvement over the past 2 decades, a small indifference between houses remains perceptible.” Hogwarts has often been criticised for this aspect in the past, and the office has reportedly claimed such a rivalry between houses is unhealthy for students, and causes a great deal of disruption.

Hogwarts was also celebrated for it’s academic success, particularly in Defense Against the Dark Arts, Muggle Studies, Transfiguration and Divination. However the school - despite it’s academic success in the subject - was penalised for it’s “outdated Herbology facilities, which if left untouched, could dramatically impact upon students’ performances.” Hogwarts is reportedly attempting to address an improvement in the facilities, but is struggling to receive sufficient funds from the Ministry.

Despite the small criticisms, many are content with the report. “I am delighted to hear we have risen from 57th to 3rd in only 17 years,” remarked Headmistress Minerva Mcgonagall in a statement released earlier this morning. “It’s no surprise, our school community is enriched with kindness, academic success and friendship.”

First on the list was the Sudan School of Sorcery, a small international school for academic excellence. Some of the most intelligent young wizards around the globe attend the school, which is acclaimed for its extensive application process - of which only 1 in 2,500 receive a placement. The exemplary institute has not moved from first position in 47 years.

Last on the list was The Witch and Wizard Institute of Antarctic Education, a dramatic decrease from their 13th place in 2010. This is presumably due to the unfortunate sinking of the school’s campus in March 2014, due to progressive melting of the ice caps. The school was closed for 8 months in 2014 and due to the lack of sufficient funding for renovation, has had 67 members of staff and over 500 students depart for other educational institutes.

The next Global Office of Standards in Magical Education report will be released in 2020, and inspections are due to initiate at the end of this year. Until then, Here at the Daily Prophet let us hope Hogwarts climbs to 1st position!