politeness

“For A Number Of Reasons”/”It’s Complicated”・いろいろあって

いろいろあって (iroiro atte) literally means “(met with) various reasons”, and is used when you can’t describe the reasons for your actions because it’s complicated or because you don’t want to talk about it. 

It can be a phrase on it’s own or in a sentence (at the beginning, usually):

最近いろいろあって宿題をやらない。Saikin iroiro atte shukudai o yaranai.
Recently I haven’t been doing my homework for a number of reasons.

Maybe the person has been busy with extracurriculars, is too depressed to do anything, or has been sick. We don’t know. We just know that they haven’t been doing homework for some reasons they don’t feel like explaining.

なんで仕事辞めるの? Nande shigoto yameru no?
いろいろあって。iroiro atte.
- Why‘d you quit your job? (lit. why resign work?)
- It’s a long story/a lot of reasons/it’s complicated.

なんで別れるの?Nande wakareru no?
いろいろあって。iro iro atte.
- Why’d you guys break up? (lit. why break up?)
- It’s a long story/a lot of reasons/it’s complicated.

*THIS IS IMPORTANT!*
If you ask someone something and they reply with “いろいろあって"、then they don’t want to talk about it!
This is pretty much the english equivalent of “I don’t wanna talk about it”. Don’t ask them more questions on the subject if they answer with this, unless they decide to tell you the reasons voluntarily.
And vice versa, if you give someone that answer, they’re probably not going to ask you about it anymore.

-Ivey

Accepting compliments that don’t mean much to you

Anonymous said to realsocialskills:

I’ve recently been talking about my body image issues on my blog, and some of my friends have contacted me to tell me that I’m pretty and that I shouldn’t feel bad about myself. It doesn’t make me feel better (or worse), but it’s a nice sentiment, so I want to thank them, but I don’t want to give either a “thanks for the input” canned response or a fawning “omg thank you so much ❤❤❤” fake response. How can I accept these comments politely, especially if it’s in real life and not online?

Realsocialskills said:

It’s fine to just say “thank you” or “thank you for saying so” in a simple way. Simple compliments don’t need a complicated response. It’s perfectly polite to just say thank you. 

You could also, if you like, be a bit more specific. Eg “Thank you for reading” or “thank you for your support.” But it’s not necessary. “Thank you” is fine on its own. 

If it *was* helpful, you could also say so, eg “Thank you, I really needed to hear that today”. But you don’t need to say something like that, especially if it’s not true.

I wouldn’t say “thank you for your input”, unless the comments bother you and you would like them to stop. Statements like “Thank you for your input” and “I’ll think about that” tend to be polite ways of saying “That was unwelcome, and I don’t want to discuss that topic.” (It’s also totally ok to dislike their compliments, even if you appreciate the sentiment. You don’t have to like everything that is well intentioned).

If the compliments don’t make you feel better (or worse), and you want to express that you appreciate the sentiment, I think the best way is probably to just say “thank you”.