pokemon rap battles

Epic Rap Battles of Nuzlocke!

Yep, I’m back with two characters from different nuzlockes
Myths of Unova’s Zach vs Doubt and Trust’s Noah!

Hey, I didn’t know we we’d get some kids involved.
Why don’t you run back home until you’re fully evolved?
You just got your second badge and your chest swells with pride
Until I keelhaul your ass and let you kiss the tide.

I don’t know how they flow in little Jhoto
Probably play some banjos, around real Gs tiptoe
But if you rap like you battle, I should call your next of kin
Or you could let Senna carry you off the field…again.

Leave your cape for the kids, cause you made your last enemy
THIS IS FOR ALL OF MY DEAD FRIENDS…oh wait, I don’t have any.
Croconaws don’t play, Ice Fangs’ll send you to floor
My bars’ll straight scald you, I GO HAM LIKE AN EMBOAR!

Even though we’re water-types, we both know I’m topnotch
Too poor for a rolex, but it’s your mouth that you should watch.
Your babyface proves you’re for show, should’ve stayed on the reserve
Get hat tricks with a single Throh!…Oh wait, did I touch a nerve?

I would’ve given you quarter, but you waste your last breath!
Not even Zekrom can you from being marked for death!
Bring it bitch, because the only way that I find peace is
to take whack MCs and tear them into ITTY BITTY PIECES!


There’s no honor among your team, they’re all ready to jump ship.
Momo helped me write these bars, or did you miss that quip
about you stumbling through two badges, your run’s gone mild.
compared to an Aqua-Adonis who makes the ladies go wild!

My swords outmatch your daggers, head for the bog, you’re done!
I’ll beat your rivals and your team, call me 6-0 Sultan!
You’ll make for fine boots, I’ll wear you out while you’re showed
That this is the closest you’ll ever get to VICTORY ROAD!

I get it, you got pirate blood; but you never got the talk
about what happens when a captain gets to close to a croc
I took your best and bulked up, now I’ll wreck your whole block
You handled me as well as your pal Jordan handled HARD ROCK

My Superpowers activated, smash you like a Gigalith
Your chances with a woman are like Vahirom, a fuckin’ myth
If you’re the King of Unova, I’m the one who dethrones
and kicks your head through the locker of Davy Jones.

Who won?! Who’s next! I’LL DECIDE!