pokemon pick up lines

Fortune cookies written by neural network

I’ve been training a neural network (based on open-source char-rnn) on a variety of datasets, including recipes, Pokemon, knock-knock jokes, pick up lines, and D&D spells

The neural network trains itself by looking at chunks of text from the training dataset and trying to predict what comes next. Then, when you give it a bit of seed text (maybe even a single letter), it generates text by predicting what comes next. It does best with short, simple phrases because it only looks at a few tens of characters at a time. Also, its grammar isn’t always the best. So, fortune cookie messages would seem like a perfect task for a neural network - but I had the darndest time getting fortunes out of the neural network.

The problem is the dataset. At the moment, there aren’t that many unique fortunes you can find in a cookie, maybe only a few hundred or so in common enough use that you can find them online. Intrepid blog reader Kiwi Carlisle found pretty much all of them, and very kindly gave them to me as neural network food. 

But annoyingly, the neural network went straight from nearly complete incomprehensibility:

A pleasant and on your pirents.
You will will have life, so the right thing.
The man where you wornd with a wind love to be procers.
Life is finally gime.
Hand is always on happiness.
The wind a fail is hondow on your parsone think you want.
A pleace khom yourself of ore cose from cowings are sheeping.
There is no right, don’t surprise
People will come true.

to word-for-word plagiarism of the complete input dataset of fortunes.

Finally, I managed to stymie it by giving it an even shorter-than-usual memory: it can only look at 35 characters at a time, which is shorter than your average cookie fortune. That finally prevented the neural network from memorizing the dataset, forcing it to come up with something unique.

And it was unique, all right.

First thing I learned is that for some reason the neural network likes fortunes with birds:

You cannot become better than a bird in the present.
Follow activaty will dramatically impossion bird work.
Mife is like a good listener in the mind of a flying birds.
Whange you have a lifetine of the flying birds.
A short pencil is usually better than a bird on the future.

It also is significantly more pessimistic than your average cookie fortune:

Now is the time to go ahead and not prepare to live.
Never understand.
Never upset the friends
Love will diss your changes.
Hell! It’s the onset of a friendship
Do not have a peaceful place where you will feel better.
There’s no success and friendship.
You cannot love life until you live the life you don’t good luck.

And it is full of impressive absolutely ancient wisdom:

A short simples are the suction for you.
Don’t love light, you will not always a pat.
Whale success is no high-lore will become tree.
Someday everything will be happy and proven a poet.
People are savituded. 
Carve your name on your parents.
Be on the finest men like the floor.
You will make mead.
Our deeds determine up, the weather is wonderful.
Po Says: Pandan, like eating bamboo, but I prefer on the horizon.
Better ask doods when you can do it, you will never be disappointed.
Feep is never conquered by hate.

I take no credit for this, I can’t remember where I found it. Also, the improper grammar annoys me.

Nerdy pick-up lines because this is tumblr and I can do this kind of shit if I want to...

YOU SHALL NOT PASS, without giving me those digits…

Baby, you’re hotter than the cracks of Mt. Doom.

Let’s get hoth and heavy.

I got stabbed in the leg. Wanna hide in this nearby cave and make-out?

Your beauty has pierced my heart like a Morgul blade.

One night with me and Myrtle won’t be the only one who’s moaning.

Baby I’ll make you scream like the Nazgul.

If you were a pokemon, you’d be a Squirtle, cause you make me wet.

I wouldn’t mind if Moody turned me into a ferret, as long as he put my down your pants.

Was your ass forged by Sauron? That shit looks precious.

I need a pensieve because my head is filled with thoughts about you.

I wanna go inside your hobbit hole.

I’d hit that harder than the side of a tree on Endor.

I can make your Jigglypuffs sing.

Leia’s buns ain’t got nothin’ on yours baby.

Can I have you for second breakfast?

Is your dad a bread baker, because you’ve got nice buns.

I’m goblin, let me stroke your vault.

I’ll be a wraith and ride your dragon

I may look like an Ewok, but I’m all Wookie where it counts baby.

Are you Katniss Everdeen? Because you’ve got my District in an uprising.

Tonight this Han doesn’t wanna fly Solo.

Pick Up Lines. Because I'm Awesome.
  • Cheesy Pick-Up Lines:
  • Do you have a raisin? [No] How about a date?
  • My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.
  • If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.
  • Did you fart, 'cause you blew me away.
  • Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?
  • You see my friend over there? [Point to friend] He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
  • I'm sorry, were you talking to me? [No] Well then, please start.
  • I'm not trying to impress you or anything, but... I'm Batman!
  • You must be from Pearl Harbor, because baby, you're the bomb.
  • How much does a polar bear weigh? [How much?] Enough to break the ice.
  • (hold out hand) Would you hold this for me while I go for a walk?
  • Pokemon Pick-Up Lines:
  • If I were a Nidoking, you would be my Nidoqueen.
  • If you were a Pokemon, I'D CHOOSE YOU!
  • You're more beautiful than a Beautifly.
  • Christian Pick-Up Lines:
  • The word says 'Give drink to those who are thirsty, and feed the hungry'; how about dinner?
  • Bathsheba had nothing on you.
  • If we were around with Noah... then you, me... pair.
  • Unfortunately, I can't perform miracles and I've only got enough bread and fish for 2 people.
pokemon pick-up lines
  • Are you a pikachu? Because you are shockingly beautiful.
  • Do you wanna battle? 'Cuz my balls are at the ready!
  • My love for you burns like a Charizard's tail.
  • If I were a Nidoking, you would be my Nidoqueen.
  • If I were a Milktank, I'd use ATTRACT on you.
  • Looking at your ass makes my bulba soar.
  • Want to register your number in my PokeNav?
  • Is that a Sudowoodo in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
  • I'd like to ride you like a HORSEA.
  • When I look at you, my Metapod can't get any harder.
  • You remind me of Pokemon, I just want to Pikachu.
  • Do you wanna play my Poke Flute?
  • When I'm around you, I am like a Geodude, as hard as a rock!
  • I've got Masterballs baby.
  • Do you wanna play with my Poke Balls?
  • I think I need a Paralyze Heal, because you're stunning.
  • My Pokeballs are SWIFT in your mouth.
  • Are you a RARE CANDY? 'cuz I feel a level-up.
  • If you were a Pokemon, I'D CHOOSE YOU!
  • Do you wanna LICKILICKY my icky sticky.
  • My Donphan won't ROLLOUT for you much longer.
  • Do you wanna see what's in my ball bag?
  • Do you wanna see my POLI-WAG?
  • Like an Umbreon, I also evolve at night.
  • Can I fertilize you with my Sunkern?
  • How would you like me to use my Onix to BIND you to my bed?
  • My Gyarados is BIG enough for you to ride it ALL day and night.
  • Hey baby, wanna SPOINK?
  • Your more beautiful than a Beautifly.
  • Let's have a Togepi of our own!
  • Want my Caterpie to use String Shot on you?
  • I'd like to get in your rock tunnel.
  • What's your favorite move? Mine is LICK.
  • You'll be WEEZING after I'm done with you.
  • You've got the lips of a Jynx!
  • Can I get into YOUR Secret Base?
  • You make my Darkrai rise.
  • You remind me of Deoxys, you're out of this world.
  • Those are some nice HOOTHOOTS you got there.
  • I just want to stick it in your wooper.
  • The name's cock..i mean brock..wait, i said that right.
  • My Kadabra just used Future Sight, and it looks like we've got a future together.
  • How would you like to see my viridian forest, well it's not really viridian.
  • How about you come and see my safari zone.
  • Want to ride my emPOLEon?
  • You're such a good catch, i think i'll use my only MASTER BALL on you.
  • Let's make like a Super Rod and hook up.
  • I'm going to Hoppip into your pants.
  • My Shellder wants to clamp onto your Slowpoke's tail!
  • Squirtle isn't the ONLY one that can use water gun. - wink -
  • STD’s are like Pokemon baby, gotta catch ‘em all! Wanna help me out?
  • Do you like Pokeballs because you're about to get really close to one of mine.
  • I wish I was a Seaking, so I could HORN DRILL you.
  • Let's make RegiLove!
  • Want to Link your cable onto me?
  • I'd like to Leech my Seeds into you.
  • You put the "Wiggle" in Wigglytuff.
  • Aipom's pretty good with his hands, and so am I.
  • I wanna see your Squirtle squirt.
  • If I was a Pokemon right now, I'd be an Erectabuzz
  • If you were in a Pokemon Contest, you'd win first place in the Beauty/Cuteness category.
  • I think we're going to need Defog (HM05) before the night is done.
  • I'd like to Slowpoke your Cloyster.
  • Are you a Hitmonlee cause your body is kickin'.
  • My Typhlosion knows Eruption.
  • You make me feel like an Electrode, you give me an EXPLOSION in my pants.
  • You make me errupt like the Cinnabar Island volcano.
  • You must be a Charmander because you're getting me hot.
  • Lets make like the pages of this guide book and get under the covers.
  • Baby, I'm a Mismagius. I'll make all of your wildest dreams come true.
  • My Lickitung can reach deeper than you can imagine!
  • Don't make me use Water Gun all over you!
  • Are you from the Hoenn Region? 'Cuz you're the only HO I see.
  • I wanna Munchlax your Cloyster.
  • I'm a real Machamp, if you know what I mean.
  • How about you use REST, so i can sleep with you.
  • My Typhlosion knows EXPLOSION!!
  • You put the "Double-D" in Dodou.
  • I heard Meowth's not the only mischievious pussy in town.
  • Have you been taking lessons from a Lickitung?
  • Did you just FLASH(HM 05) me?
  • Your gonna need a HYPERPOTION by the time i'm done with you.
  • You put the "BONE" in Cubone.
  • You set my Chimchar on fire.
  • I'll use ROCK CLIMB in your Fortress.
  • My Diglett's attracted to your SWEET SCENT.
  • Did you use CONFUSE RAY?, cuz your making me dizzy.
  • Do you wanna see my NUGGETS?
  • I'd POUND you with my Piplup.
  • You make me RY-HORNY!
  • You just gave me a Cubone.
  • My Bulbasaur knows TICKLE.
  • I can make your Jigglypuffs sing.
  • I can make your Milktanks moo.
  • I wish you and I were Weedles, so you and I could make a Kakuna and evolve together.
  • Hey, I've got some legendary pokemon, do you want to touch my pokeballs to see just how legendary they are?
  • If you were a pokemon, you'd be a Squirtle, cause you make me wet!
  • Let's go make a Mewtwo of our own.
  • I wish I was a Magikarp, so I could use SPLASH on you!
  • My Exeggcute are pretty weak. Let's battle so they can get some experience.
  • Wanna watch my EKANS evolve?
  • I made you some MOO-MOO MILK, but I forgot to use my Milktank.
  • You make my Gyrados HYDROPUMP!
  • I wanna spread HONEY on your Forretress.
  • If I were a Ghastly, I'd seep right through your pants.
  • You give my Gengar that smile.
  • If I were a Hitmonchan, I'd Thunderpunch dat ass.
  • Is that a TANGELA down there?
  • Do you wanna see my BELL-SPROUT?
  • Will you use ROCK POLISH on my Pokeballs?
  • I wish I was an Abra, so I could TELEPORT to your bedroom.
  • If I were a Pidgeotto, I'd GUST your pants off.
  • It's a good thing that I'm a pokemon trainer and can handle your Jigglypuffs!
  • If I were a Clefairy, I"d DOUBLE-SLAP dat ass.
  • Do you have a Ditto in your pocket because I can see myself in your pants.
  • My Magikarp knows a little more than SPLASH if you know what I mean.
  • I like to compare myself with Smeargle...I'm pretty handy with a paintbrush.
  • I think I'm going to need a Burn Heal because you're hot.
  • You put the "cool" in Tentacool.
  • Why don't you and me go back to my gym and have a naked battle.
  • Do you want to help my ekans learn intercourse?
  • starMiE and starYU belong together do you get the message?
  • I've got an Onyx, and if you come over to my place I'll show you his move Earthquake (TM 27).
  • I wish you were the ground and I was a Diglett so I could be inside of you.