pokemon maths

i would like to state, for the record, that i am fucking terrified of alolan!exeggutor.
i am 5'5" (that’s 165 cm for u metric users) and alolan exeggutor is 35'9" (approx. 1090cm), making it 6.6x taller than me.
it would take 7 of me, stacked directly on top of one-another, to surpass alolan exeggutor in height. that’s terrifying. i am terrified.
this also means that i need to stay approx. 30 feet away from exeggutor at all times to be out of its radius of attack.
it weighs 900+ pounds and must have bananas strong muscles in its neck. you cant even creep past it because it has a head behind it, giving it total, 360 vision when you combine it with the 3 heads it already had.
it also somehow gained a full typing in dragon, of all things??
in conclusion: how are there any fucking alolans left? how did they not get wiped out by the most terrifying thing ive ever seen? id rather pull a cyrus and wander the distortion world for eternity than live in a region where these exist. what the fuck.

79+ Roses are Red Variants

Roses are red, violets are blue. I’ve got WiFi, so who needs you. (Variant: so screw you!)

Roses are red, violets are blue. If the ceiling came crashing, I wouldn’t save you.

Roses are red, violets are blue. This poem is stupid. So are you.

Roses are red, violets are blue. I kinda hate this poem and I really hate you.

Roses are red, violets are blue. I really hate this poem but I really like you.

Roses are red, violets are blue. Pikachu is awesome, unlike you.

Roses are red, violets are blue. You are dead, you.

Roses are red, violets are blue. I’d rather play Minecraft then write this for you.

Roses are red, violets are blue. You suck so screw you!

Roses are red, violets are blue. You’re really stupid, so you *flips off person*

Roses are red, violets are blue. Faces like yours belong in a zoo.

Roses are red, violets are blue. When life gives you lemons…

Roses are red, violets are blue. Hope you have a bad valentine’s day, cuz no one cares about you.

Roses are red, violets are blue. What time is it? Ten after two.

Roses are red, violets are blue. Can we stop singing? Thank you, phew!

Roses are red, violets are blue. Sugar is sweet, and so are glistering melons.

Roses are red, violets are blue. I am Greek and Dorian too!

Roses are red, violets are blue. What does the fox say? I say that too.

Roses are red, violets are blue. April fools, no one cares about you!

Roses are red, violets are blue. Why aren’t violets violet, like you

Roses are red, violets are blue. Why can’t you just zip it? I hate you!

Roses are red, violets are blue. When there’s you, rhyme and meter don’t matter at all!

Roses are red, violets are blue. The as;dflkajsd;lktl;japosdjfpaosdfpoasdfasdgooo

Roses are red, violets are blue. SURPRISE ENDING; Roses are red, and violets are blue!

Roses are red, violets are blue. When life gives you lemons, hope the lemons don’t sue.

Roses are red, violets are blue. Something Something Something-oo.

Your eyes are green, food is are blue.- Wait you’re not Percy Jackson DIE YOU!!!!!!!!

Roses are red, violets are blue. Plot twist: Butter is green.

Roses are black, violets are black. Everything is black. I am blind.

Blood is red, you’ll be dead.

Roses are red, violets are red, tulips are red, bushes are red, I set your garden on fire.

Roses are red, violets are blue, Cows are great, and Rupert says MOOOOOOOO!!!

Roses are red, violets are blue, you are stupid, like an insulting haiku.

Roses are red, violets are blue. You were expecting more, me too!

Roses are red, violets are blue.  Let’s fill the rest of this doc with spam so we get 100

Roses are red, violets are blue. You were expecting a rhyme? Me too.

Roses are red, violets are blue. But roses can be pink, and violets are violet.

Roses are red, violets are blue. Sugar is sweet and so are you… But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead. The sugar bowl is empty and so is your head.

Roses are red, that much is true. But violets are purple, not flippin blue.

Roses are red, violets are blue. What I thought was vaseline, turned out to be glue.

Roses are red, violets are blue. I thought voldemort was ugly, but then came you

Roses are red, violets are blue. 115 is 1 mod 2.

Roses are red, Rose, Rose Tyler I-

Roses are red, violets are blue.  What is pi congruent to?

T-Shirts are orange, food is blue. It’s called Heroes of olympus, not Percy Jackson 2

Roses are red, violets are blue. In soviet russia, bad poem write you.

Roses are red, violets are blue. In soviet russia, bad joke tell you.

Roses are red, violets are blue. *Insert insulting Haiku*

Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van.

Roses are red, violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, some don’t

Roses are red, violets are blue. Love me today, or I kill you

Roses are red, violets are blue. Poems are hard. Bacon

Roses are red, violets are blue. I hate Rhyming; vaccum, noodles, hobo

Roses are red, violets are blue. Sugar is sweet, but you can’t have it because you have type two diabetes

Roses are red, violets are blue. If you use this stupid poem, I will flippin murder you

Roses are red, my name is dave, this makes no sense. microwave,

Roses are red, violets are blue.  You lost the game.

Roses are red, violets are blue.  Why can’t I just Ad-block you?

Roses are red, violets are blue.  Carnations are pink, not unlike you.

Roses are red, violets are blue.  um um um um um um you.

Roses are red, violets are blue.  Stop reading my poem.  Shoo!

Roses are red, violets are blue.  Troll face is going to eat you.

Roses are red, violets are blue.  I’m going to put fried you on the menu.

Roses are red, violets are blue.  I’m going for a swim in glue.

Roses are red, violets are blue.  Stop with all this hullabaloo!

Roses are red, violets are blue.  I think I’m the capital of Peru?

Roses are red, violets are blue.  Introspection is fun.

Roses are red, violets are blue, from Reykjavik to Kalamazoo.

Roses are red, violets are blue.  For some reason right now I really want to eat veal cordon bleu.

Roses are red, violets are blue.  Violent death is good for you!

Roses are red, violets are blue.  I’m going to poison you with shampoo.

Roses are red, violets are blue.  Do you know how to pas de deux? (thought so)

Roses are red, violets are blue.  Death is inevitable.

Roses are red, violets are blue.  Rah rah celery!

Roses are red, violets are blue, I put hair dye in your shampoo

Roses are red, violets are JOHN CENA

Roses are red, violets are blue, its gonna be legen- wait for it

DAIRY

Roses are red, violets are blue, my middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.

Roses are red, violets are blue, *Smosh voice* SHUT UP

Autistic Pokemon character headcanons  ❤︎

Trainer Red:

Completely nonverbal autistic. Doesn’t enjoy socializing too much. Speaks with expressions and motions, as well as sign language (but sometimes his motor skills make that hard). Likes fluffy things and almost always is in contact with Pikachu. Doesn’t particularly have a special interest (besides Pokemon).  He knows all the famous trainers names and wants to fight ‘em all. He is most sensitive to sound and doesn’t like high pitched things.

N :

Has trouble processing words: reacts slowly to others, talks fast, stutters, and doesn’t complete sentences. Often goes non verbal when tired or stressed. Loves fluffy, smooth, and rough Pokemon. However, he is uncomfortable with most human contact. Pretty bad social anxiety. Paces and talks to himself when stressed. Variety of special interests: Pokemon, math, mythology. Often dissociates. 

Trainer Rosa:

Likes to talk, but often messes up her words. Goes nonverbal purely because she has nothing to say sometimes. Loves warm things. Very sensitive to taste and texture of food; she prefers the texture of desserts and bread most of all. She eats a lot of PB&J sandwiches. Her special interests are super hero comics, anime, and movies.  She enjoys hugs.

Trail Captain Kiawe:

Has poor volume control: usually loud or almost silent. Slightly tone deaf and has a fairly flat voice. He loves socializing and being around people, but he’s usually clueless about social cues and what’s going on.  Sensitive to light touch. This is why he’s almost always shirtless; he doesn’t like how shirts feel. Passionate dancer since childhood and exercise/movement calms him down. Gets worn out quickly while concentrating and likes to take naps. 

anonymous asked:

Match-up if possible! Straight female standing at 5'6 and chub, long light brown hair and blue eyes, quiet til i know someone, like to read and draw a bit, good at math. pokemon is rowlet, fav typings being ghost dark and psychic. Hyper around friends but serious when needed

I’d pair you with Ilima, the Normal type Captain of Melemele Island!

Ah, math, something I’m definitely not good at, but Ilima? He’s a master, that one. He’s also both ends of the hyper spectrum: the most hyper person you’ll ever see, but also the calmest. While your typings may be strange compared to his, don’t be fooled. Ilima is the type of person that, were it not for being a captain, would have as many types as possible on his team. He also adores Rowlet in particular because, in his words, “His spherical shape is so perfect, so mathematic, I can’t NOT love him!”

~Mod Sun

  • Pokemon go:you must walk three miles to hatch this egg!
  • Me:oh cool, i do that on the track each morning easy!
  • *walks three miles *
  • Pokemon go:you’ve walked .35 miles
  • Me:you suck at math Pokemon