poke-with-a-stick

I think one of the most underappreciated moments in Thor Ragnarok is

when Thor pokes the business card with his ‘umbrella’ while whispering “Loki?”

Like it is completely possible for Loki to inexplicably transform himself into a small white rectangle of cardstock

So he better poke it with a stick

Just in case cardstock Loki goes “Mblerg it’s me!” and stabs him or something

Stick N Poke PSA
  • Use tattoo needles, I stg it will change your life. They tattoo so much better and there’s no need for thread. I recommend 3RL for most stick n poke work
  • Buy the needles sterile and packaged. They’re ready to go and you don’t need to worry about sterilising them yourself (it’s also hella cheap)

  • Use tattoo ink or India ink. Never use anything else! I recommend winsor and newton if you’re going with India ink, but only the plain black one. 

  • New ink and needles for each person (obviously)

  • Poke just deep enough to break/’pop’ the skin, but no deeper. Poke too deep and the ink will spread under the skin, poke too shallow and it’ll fall out (but can then be re-poked)

  • Use warm water with a little antibacterial soap mixed in to clean the area before and after.

  • Always wear gloves and wash your hands!

Basically be safe and sensible. If you mess it up, it’s only you who’s responsible!

Obviously, while he’s distracted with his own monologue, you can throw everything you have at him and kill him. But the fastest, most surefire way to do the job is with an item most players ignore: the torch. It’s nothing but a simple torch Snake used earlier to find his way out of a cave, but if you jam it up The Fear’s ass, he goes up like a 1977 Ford Pinto.

Technically, the torch can burn any of Snake’s enemies, but most of them are smart enough to go somewhere else when you start poking them with flaming sticks. The programmers either forgot or didn’t bother to teach this trick to The Fear. He has no idea how to react to a colon-first fireball attack, so he will stand there and let the fire devour him. Because what maniac game developer could have foreseen players doing anything this strange?

Any player who spent an hour pumping bullets into The Fear in a straight gunfight knows he’s absurdly tough, so it takes forever for the fire to finish him off. Luckily, he will never figure out what’s going on, so sit back, relax, and enjoy the smell of roasting butthole.

6 Ways To Beat Game Bosses That The Designers Didn’t Intend

anonymous asked:

I would really, really like to hear the story of why Clod doesn't like the mailman.

OK, so. 

It is a very well established fact that Clod, feline prince of my heart, is ridiculously adorable. He is a squishy grey blob of brain-melting cuteness and fluff. 

He does have a naughty streak, and his favourite hobby is walking along one of our shelves and knocking every single item off individually, but he’s generally a congenial chap. Sometimes he purrs so hard that he drools, he rubs his face on things so happily that he leaves trails of spit, and he’s more than once headbutted me so hard in greeting that I’ve winced. However, he is also on the Royal Mail’s blacklist of dangerous animals.

This is because he is deathly, singularly obsessed with post.

We have no idea why. He doesn’t react this way to anything else. He is pretty chill about most things. Post, though? He cannot fucking deal. It works him right up into a terrifying feral frenzy, and god forbid anyone in the vicinity when the postman cometh. 

Before we got Clod, we just had a slot letterbox of the kind that’s more common in Europe (y’know, this sort of thing, but in a less fancy door, because we live in Cardiff and have hardly any connections to royalty at all):

This was all fine and dandy, until one day Clod noticed that, when the postman was putting the post through the door, it could be turned into an absolutely fabulous game of life and death called ‘Mauling the Mailman’. Clod used to sit by the kitchen window and watch for the postman, and as soon as the letters poked through the door, Clod would run over and grab the postman’s hand, attacking it with a crazed fervour hitherto unseen outside of a One Direction concert (may they rest in peace). It wasn’t playing at all; it was genuine attack mode. I’ve seen less vicious attacks on Black Friday news reports. It was horrendous.

We tried keeping him away from the door, which meant shutting him in the kitchen, but the post doesn’t come at a set time and we weren’t always at home (and obviously didn’t want to shut him up in one room all day, because no) so we weren’t always successful, which meant that Clod probably managed to wreak havoc about 5 or 6 times before we even really knew there was a problem. The postman, bless his little bearded face, tried a host of things to stop it. He tried poking the letters through with a stick. He tried pushing them through super slowly so that Clod didn’t hear it from the kitchen. He tried prayer (probably). None of it worked, and it came to a head one day when we heard a knock at the door and saw the poor dude standing on our porch, cradling his bleeding hand, and mum had to give him first aid. The blood stayed on our porch for weeks. Not because we’re lazy, you understand. We really gave it a good scrub. There was just a lot of it. How those people on Medical Detectives manage to clean up whole bodies’ worth, I do not know.

After that, we installed a mailbag inside the door so that the post could go into that and the postman’s hand wouldn’t be exposed to Clod’s wrath. It didn’t work, because Clod - who is usually an absolute idiot, and has been known to run into walls - figured out how to open the mailbag and maul the postman again. This also introduced an additional problem in that whenever someone tried to open the mailbag to get the post, Clod would attack them too. And to reiterate, by ‘attack’, I don’t mean that cute half-assed bite that cats do when they hold onto your hand and gently gnaw you. I mean he yowled, kicked, scratched and bit, often drawing blood. So, obviously, this solution did not work quite as well as we’d hoped. 

Around this time, we got a message from the Royal Mail, informing us that - totally understandably - they would have to stop delivering our mail if we didn’t get our cat the fuck under control. So we did the only thing we could do, and installed an external mailbox. It is a pain in every single one of my limbs, and it was expensive and it looks ugly, but at least the postman isn’t at an elevated risk of tetanus any more.

Clod still watches at the window for the postman, seeking vengeance, but our porch is now blood-free.

For now.

Tattoo Tips

hi guys i have a tattoo tips page here if you need it, i realized you can’t get to it from the app so here’s whats on it:

So when my friends and I were first doing these we looked all over on how to do them right and such but there wasn’t a lot about it so here’s some tips we’ve learned so far.

  • I used to use Higgins ink and now I use Intenze true black tattoo ink. It comes out a lot darker and is probably safer.
  • If the tattoo is just an outline and is bigger than an inch use a thicker needle than if it were something small. this will darken and thicken the outline
  • ALWAYS USE A STERILE NEEDLE… We originally used needles from a hospital but then bought tattoo needles on Amazon. The tattoo needles were so much better to work with. They come in all different sizes and some have multiples together that make it so much easier to do straight lines.
  • Draw the tattoo image in a thin colored sharpie.
  • Draw the image on the skin as the skin is laying normal but when poking over it, stretch the skin tight giving you space for more pokes so that when you let go and it goes back to normal the tattoo with be darker.
  • Before doing anything clean the skin with rubbing alcohol.
  • Shave the area the tattoo is going before giving the tattoo.
  • Wrap the needle in string until the point is very small, like an 8th of an inch small.
  • I use water to wipe the excess ink away but  that can whip the sharpie image away too so be careful.
  • Pain level: Hurts like a bitch but once you’re done it doesn’t hurt. it’s just a little sore since the skin will be raised.
  • Keep your tattoo moisturized like with Vaseline or not scented lotion  
  • I would suggest using transfer paper (I bought mine off amazon) so that you can draw exactly what you want easily and then transfer it to the body but remember draw it backwards is that when it’s transferred it’ll be forward.