Reasons why you don't like Mon-El? Just wondering.
Wow. Okay then. *cracks knuckles* Let’s just get to it.
So let’s preface this first. Please refer to this post/rant regarding my feelings towards the Supergirl fandom. Because my feelings towards Mon-El are an entirely different entity than my feelings towards the fandom.
That being said, let me also address another thing that is relevant to this post and then I set it aside. My feelings towards Supercorp have nothing to do with my feelings towards Mon-El. And because I know if a Karmel fan reads this, I’ll get at least one rude message in my inbox. I know Supercorp will never be canon. I do not dislike Mon-El because he’s getting in the way. I’ve noticed over the last year or so in fandom that people have been invoking the “My ship is canon and therefore yours don’t matter, get over it,” and the “My ship is canon and therefore more important than yours,” arguments. Both of those are bullshit and if anyone sends me those, your message will go ignored.
And this is me setting Supercorp aside.
So. Mon-El. He’s probably the single most controversial character introduced this season, perhaps the most controversial character the show has ever produced. I believe, if social media is any indicator, there are more people who dislike Mon-El than like him.
Which to some degree does make me sad. Because I think his character could be really complex and interesting. And while I don’t think I would ever ship Karmel, I think if Mon-El was written differently it could be a ship I could support wholeheartedly. However, with the current way he’s written, I just can’t. I really want to like his character, but the writing is so poor that it’s basically impossible. Also, take note that I don’t have a thing against Chris Wood and this fandom thing of going after actors is immature and needs to fucking stop.
There are a lot of small-ish (or big-ish depending on how you look at it) things that I dislike about his character, but the baseline problem is really the cause of all of it. He doesn’t actually seem to understand why Kara is annoyed at him for doing what he’s doing. He doesn’t truly listen to her. That’s it. In my mind, that is the single biggest issue with Mon-El’s character. And if that were changed, his character has the potential to turn into something that I think most people could at least tolerate, if not support.
Because think about it. Many of the biggest criticisms, well deserved in my opinion, of Mon-El has to do with his treatment of Kara. Especially regarding things that she has reprimanded him for multiple times. And he seems to not understand why she’s angry at him. For someone that claims to love Kara as much as he does, he doesn’t show it very well. They are fighting about 85% of their screentime while the other 15% is dedicated to their physical relationship (kissing, sex, etc) and Kara actually building an emotional relationship with him.
Look, no relationship is perfect. At all. Fights are inevitable and expected. But for a couple that spends the vast majority of their screentime arguing, I can’t see how that relationship is expected to last very long. Especially when the fights are originating from Mon-El inability to listen and apply.
He is relearning. I agree with Karmel fans on that point. He is most likely the prince of Daxam and I expect him to embody the culture of objectification of women and slavery. That’s not really the issue. The issue is lines like “Things were so much easier when I objectified women and didn’t care about anyone.” Yes, that was supposed to be a cute line about his dedication to Kara to change himself to order to be with her. And I guess if you like Mon-El/Karmel that’s probably how you interpreted it. But that’s not at all how it comes across to me. At best it comes across as basically saying that Kara’s expectations of him to change are a burden and he wishes he could go back to his life on Daxam. And at worst it says that he doesn’t care that by Earth standards (the standards we’re all judging him by) he’s doing things completely wrong and that everyone should just accept who he is trying to be and get over it. And pretend he’s actually making significant changes to himself.
His inability to understand why Kara is angry and his blaming it on relearning is a problem. Relearning is one thing. You can give a person the benefit of the doubt once, maybe even twice. But when Kara is continually having to berate him for the same things three, four, five, etc times it’s no longer him actually trying to relearn. It’s him making excuses.
Picture this: Mon-El actually listens to Kara. Mon-El seriously listens to her. Kara teaches him why his behaviors are wrong. And because he loves and trusts Kara, he believes her and listens to her. And because he loves her, he makes a genuine effort to change, instead of insulting her, lecturing her, speaking for her, playing with her emotions, doing things completely opposite of what she asked of him because he thinks he knows better, and all the other unhealthy things that happen in their relationship right now. Especially when Kara herself has yelled at him it not do those things to her, multiple times. It’s Mon-El’s inability to actually listen that is the problem. It’s not his race. It’s not his gender. It’s not even his relationship with Kara. Rather it’s the nature of his relationship with Kara. It’s that he doesn’t trust her enough to make her own decisions. It’s that he doesn’t listen to her. It’s that he doesn’t seem to actually put forth the effort to relearn, rather seems to be using that as an excuse for his actions.
What I believe is the root of Mon-El’s problem is his inability to really listen. Most people will know what I’m talking about. When your parents tell you to do something and you say “Yes mom” or “Yes dad” but it doesn’t really resonate and you completely forget the thing they told you ten minutes later. This seems to be what Mon-El does. He just takes Kara’s words, brushes them aside and forgets about them. That line “Okay, okay, I’m sorry. That is two strikes on me. Now let’s just let it go…” is a perfect example of what I’m talking about. It’s like he didn’t even listen to what she just said. Rather was listening to the tone of her voice, realized she was angry at him and said “Okay, okay. Whatever you say. I’m wrong, you’re right, now let’s have makeup sex.” He doesn’t acknowledge that what she’s saying has any meaning. If he did he would most likely say something like “Okay. You’re right. I’m sorry. I didn’t listen to you and that was wrong of me. Let’s work this out. Together.”
Look, whether you ship Karmel or you don’t, like Mon-El or don’t, he’s not perfect. And no one expects him to be perfect. But I do expect him to put forth a visible effort. And while he is different than he was from the beginning of the season (but let’s be honest, that bar is so low since he was kicking Kara across the floor at the beginning of the season), for as much support and acceptance that he’s gotten from Kara and others for that matter, I would have expected even him to be further along in the relearning process.
And while I cannot support Karmel myself and these are the reasons I don’t like him, I don’t hate people who do like him. It’s their right to do so. What annoys me about fandom is that some of those people are going far out of their way to pick fights and find arguments. Freedom of speech means that you can say what you want to say. It doesn’t mean that people have to agree or listen to you. And it doesn’t mean you can stop people from expressing their own right to freedom of speech and telling you why they think you’re wrong. Karmel fans and I will have to agree to disagree. And that’s fine. I don’t care if people want to have an adult conversation with me about the issues. But if we’re going to devolve into petty arguments and baseless personal attacks, just keep it to yourself. Because it’s a waste of your time. And a waste of my time.
I just had a hell of a tweetstorm. Here it is in case you missed it.
So. I have Thoughts about #Supergirl 2x14. There are many of them. Hold on to your hats.
1) The first thing we see is a morning-after scene at Kara’s with Mon-El. They just kissed the night before.
Clearly, they’ve had sex. Which, okay, you know what, that’s fine. Kara is a grown woman and can make her own choices.
But all of this is in stark contrast to the #Sanvers morning after. Alex and Maggie got a kiss. We saw a rumpled bed. Maggie was wearing Alex’s t-shirt. Very different compared to the half-naked Mon-El and the smoochiness of the two of them on their morning after. I dislike this double standard. A lot.
2) Something else I dislike: making Alex Danvers look like a moron. As if Alex wouldn’t have seen/found her father’s bionic arm. Come on. Ridiculous.
3) Did we miss a scene where Maggie meets Eliza? They sure looked pretty chummy at Kara’s which was, to my knowledge, their first meeting. I don’t expect it to be adversarial, but certainly something like “so you’re the woman who’s making Alex so happy these days” or something.
4) Speaking of that scene at Kara’s, what was Jeremiah’s comment about? Alex did not pick Maggie as a partner because no man is good enough. She picked Maggie because Maggie is a woman. That didn’t sit right with me.
5) I did like Kara asking Mon-El to leave and also really enjoyed Jeremiah escorting him out. Warning him that he knows who he is was nice, considering that Teri Hatcher has been filming. I think that’s going to set up a nice little encounter between the two of them. (I was a Lois and Clark fan, once upon a time. /happysigh)
6) Let’s be clear: I don’t mind that Jeremiah ends up being a bad guy for whatever reason. I think it would have been more interesting if he hadn’t been and there was all this attention on him for no real reason, but I don’t mind that he’s the bad guy. I mind that it’s Mon-El who is questioning their good fortune. Why isn’t this Maggie? Or Winn? Or, I don’t know, Jimmy freaking Olsen? (Where IS James, anyway???) Lucy Lane? Lena Luthor? Susan Vasquez? Someone with less of an emotional stake in Jeremiah’s true allegiance, who is able to see things more clearly. And I suggest Maggie because she’s the other significant other of a Danvers sister. And, hi, she’s a detective. She detects. Let Maggie detect!
7) Plot stuff aside, we need to talk about Mon-El outside of comparing and contrasting Karamel to Sanvers, or why Mon-El shouldn’t be the one doing the questioning. We need to ask why the hell Kara is with this guy. He continually ignores what Kara wants and he continually gets rewarded anyway. Just in this episode, she asks him to keep their relationship quiet. So he promptly announces it to the DEO. Last episode, she asked him to let her handle Mxyzptlk and he tries to defend her honour. Like, why does he get a zillion chances? Kara knows better than she’s letting on and she deserves better than this fratboy.
8) Having said that, I like Chris Wood. I could have loved Mon-El as the comic relief. His bringing stuffing to Thanksgiving was great. The bit when he was captured by Cadmus and said he had just learned of the custom of ‘putting a ring on it’? Glorious. I have legitimately laughed out loud at a number of Mon-El scenes. Hot tip: none of them were when he was disrespecting Kara or ignoring Kara’s wishes or trying to explain to Kara that he knows best. I have no dog in this fight. I don’t care if Kara dates anyone or doesn’t. I just want her to be with someone who deserves her. Mon-El proves at every. single. opportunity. that he is not that person.
9) Where are the girls? This show used to be about women. Strong, independent women and their struggles. Cat Grant’s frank discussions with Kara about how to act (or not) in the workplace were AMAZING and they would not fit in on today’s show. Eliza had a tiny part in 2x14. Maggie had a tinier part. Even Alex’s part was smaller than it should be, considering HER FATHER IS BACK. This post shows an incredible breakdown of speaking time by gender for the first 13 episodes of season 2:
It is astonishing. I encourage you to check it out.
10) Having said that, I look forward to more Cadmus stuff with a bad Jeremiah. I appreciate Chyler Leigh and Floriana Lima who give it their all every time they’re on screen, even if Sanvers doesn’t get nearly enough screentime. I will keep watching, but know that I’m watching critically, that I will say things that need to be said. I think the messages being sent by the show with regards to the Mon-El and Kara relationship are actively harmful, so that needs to get better – and quickly. Still, I do like the show, I do look forward to the rest of this season… I just think we all need Cat Grant to storm into Catco and start yelling at people because this is not the same show it was last year.
Regardless of whether Mon-el’s right or not, you can’t seriously say he wasn’t being disrespectful. He’s a guest in their home. They invited him to a FAMILY dinner. He should be honored that they care enough about him to invite him when for some stupid reason they didn’t invite Winn or James. Instead he decides his ego is more important than this family reuniting for the first time in years.
I don’t care about whether Mon el is right or not. His complete disregard for Kara’s opinion and lack of respect for the Danvers family is disgusting
I’m being petty…but if you look closely Mon-Ew has pepperoni nipples
and also WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS EPISODE I’M A STRAIGHT GIRL AND MOL-EL IS A BUNCH OF BULLSHIT ON A STICK @supergirl writers what the fuck is going through your heads EXPLAIN PLZ why tf does Mayo and Kara get all the screen time to be all cuddly and kissy when Alex and Maggie get literally .2 seconds with a peck on the cheek UGH #where’s Lena #kara deserves better #I will riot
also also has anyone noticed how Melissa Benoist hasn’t promoted any of this seasons Supergirl episodes? She hasn’t tweeted about ANY of it
anyway i hate mon-el so much. he sounds so petty and arrogant like he just has to be right and gets in j’onn’s face about it. alex is right to be pissed at him. he doesn’t show any respect in this scene and just goes right ahead and is disrespectful about how they handled jeremiah. it would be different if he’d sat down with j’onn and had gone “this doesn’t feel right, is there anything we can do?” instead of confronting everyone when they’re just welcoming him home and letting them be happy for a minute as a family before trying to shatter their world again.
and yeah, fine, he’ll be right. of course. i mean, fake jeremiah is something i wanted before but not like this. he can be right and still disrespectful and mean. he can be right and still treat the danvers family (which includes j’onn and maggie) with the respect they deserve. he just goes ahead and tramples all over that without a care in the world because why would he care? he has only ever been nice to eliza to get with kara and has never given a shit about alex or treated her with respect because the one time they directly spoke, he was being shitty, and after that they haven’t really had a scene together that was solo or about anything other than alex coming out. which was definitely more of a “oh there is someone else i can tell” not a “oh i want to tell him specifically”
but the writers think they’re doing a bang up job when they’re really just writing him as a selfish, rude, arrogant, asshole.