poison in my pen


 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4-1 Part 4-2 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8-1 Part 8-2 Part 9 Part 10

A/N: The Reader gets kidnapped.

I stood in front of the full length mirror and gazed at my reflection, my eyes drifting watching Loki through the mirror as he approached, wrapping his arm around me as we both gazed at our reflection.

“You look quite ravishing in that dress, darling.” He cooed in my ear as his eyes ran up and down my body. “I have a few suggestions as to why you should stay here with me.” He says nibbling on my earlobe.

“Yeah?” I smiled as I felt the twitch in his pants.

“Hmm mmm.” He nods as he slips his hand between my legs.

“No.” I squealed trying to bat is hand away, but I was no match for his arousal.

“Just the head.”  He teased.”

“Do you remember the last time when you only put the head in?” I asked.

He smiles against my ear. “Hmmm,“ he purred. “I remember it quite well.”

“I slept for two days.”

I turned to him, his face painted in a boyish grin that touches his eyes and sparkles.

He shrugs, “I will be more…” He trails off, I glanced down at the bulge in his pants that was aching to break free. “I cannot keep my hands off you and when we make love, I want you to feel everything that I feel, I want you to experience all of me.”

“You do know you’re a God right?”

He rolled his eyes, “how can I forget when you keep reminding me.”

He was getting defensive.

I touched his face and ran my thumb across his bottom lip. “I keep reminding you because you seem to forget your own strength and physical power.”

“I am gentle.” He holds me at arm length. “Have I hurt you?”

“No, no, no. But it takes time for me to recover from one of our sessions.” I say.

“You know what would help.”

“Yes, I do, but -.”

“But you are not ready.” He finished my sentence, turning to sit on the bed.

“Don’t get pouty.”

“I do not pout.”

“You get pouty when you don’t get your way.”

“I always get my way.”

“With magic and manipulation.” I quipped.

He eyes me, “you have such a smart mouth, I should put something in it.”

“I will bite it.”

“And I will have to punish you for causing bodily harm.”

“And I will gladly take the punishment.” I countered.

He exhales harshly. “Do you have to have the last word?”

I shrugged. “Yes. I always get my way.”

“With seduction and sexual manipulation.” He states as the atmosphere in the room shifted.

“Seduction, yes that’s a given. Manipulation,well, I learned that from the you.” I corrected as I walked towards him and stood in between his knees.

He runs his fingers up my dress, deftly tugging on the zipper. “What else have you learned from me?” He asked.

My heartbeat hammered in my chest as he pulled the button to his pants, his bulge spilling forth.

I held his shoulders as he slid my panties down to my knees revealing my bare derriere.

He inhales sharply.

“I learned delayed gratification.” I whispered in his ear then kissed his cheek. “I’m late.”

His mischievous grin was plastered across my face as I made it to Earth, thanks to the dimensional rift he created for me to travel between Asgard and Earth.

I checked the zipper on my dress to make sure it was fastened and I shifted my panties into place as I stepped through the rift that closed a few seconds later.

“You’re late.” Nat says as the darkened window to the truck slides down.

“Sorry,” I say as I crossed the street and approached the truck, climbing into the backseat.

The door was barely closed as Nat speed away.

“I can’t believe Bruce trusts you with his truck.” I say examining the spacious interior.

“I’m an excellent driver.” Nat says matter-of-factly.

“Defensive driver,” Wanda says from the passenger seat.

We all laughed in union.

We pulled up to Night, a supernatural club/lounge that is only known by those who have or know someone with special abilities. We bypassed the lines and went straight to the VIP section that was reserved for us. Our drinks arrived, Wanda had a red bubbly concoction, Natasha a inky black blob that didn’t look appeasing, and I had a plain creamery.

“What’s it like?“ Wanda asked taking a sip of her drink.

“What’s what like?” I asked.

Wanda nodded slyly. “Sleeping with a God.”

“And don’t say it’s anything like with a human because that would be a disappointment.” Natasha interjected.

“It’s different.” I answered.

“That’s it?” Nat asked. “It’s different?” She rolled her eyes, “c’mon, there’s more to it.”

“Loki has superior human strength that gives him superior endurance in all physical activities.”

“What does that mean?” Wanda inquired.

“It means what they do in the bedroom is not of this world.” Nat answered, winking at me.

They both laughed as I took a long swallow of the drink that began to swim in my head.

We danced and enjoyed the night for what is was, tonight’s outing was mainly for Wanda and Natasha, who both needed a break from the missions that have been taking over their lives.

The night was a whirlwind as we exited the nightclub laughing to ourselves.

“Do you need one of the guy’s to walk you to your car?” The bouncer at the door asked.

We declined, not knowing how different the night might have ended if we accepted his invitation.

I remembered that Wanda stepped out first because she commented on the chill in the air, then myself, followed by Natasha. I had the keys, so I walked ahead, we were a few feet away from the truck when it all became a blur, I heard a commotion behind me and turned. Wanda had two guys immobile while the third was making slashing movements with a sword. Natasha was standing over the body of an unknown person who was slumped on the ground, her head snaps up and I will never forget the look on her face.

“Get through the rift.” She screams.

I opened the amulet that hung around my neck and felt my legs moving faster than my mind could comprehend as I dashed to the golden pattern that began to form on the ground where the rift would open.

I glanced down and noticed that I lost a heel in the process. l stepped on the pattern and the rift began to activate and open.

“Don’t let her escape.” A muffled voice say.

The electric shock vibrated through my body and I staggered backwards. I glanced down and saw the two metal prongs latched into my skin. I tried to take a step, but another shock brought me to my knees. I pulled the amulet from my neck and tossed it. I gazed at the opened rift as it sucked up my other heel and the amulet, closing and disappearing a few seconds later.

“Loki!” I heard myself scream internally, but I knew he couldn’t hear me.

A hood covers my head and I became weightless as I was carried into a car. I heard Natasha screaming out my name, but the figures I was squeezed in between held me down as the car sped away.

The hood comes off my head and the cold salty air washed across my face as we switched cars. I gazed up into the blinding light, blinking until the silhouette of a figure appeared. I saw his bright white smile as he placed the cloth over my mouth.

“This will be sure to get his attention.” I heard the groggy voice say as I slumped into unconsciousness.

Post Note: And it begins…Loki x Reader. 

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Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4-1 Chapter 4-2

A/N: Steve mistakenly found out you were pregnant, you told him you would tell Bucky…you didn’t. It’s two weeks later and after the last mission you all went on where you were picked up and tossed against a wall was Steve’s last straw, he has had enough. There is tension between you and Steve that cannot be cut with Vibranium.

You know what they say about secrets…

The ride back to Shield’s Barcelona safe house was silent as it’s been in the last two weeks, since you’ve been briefed on the new mission. Bucky glances from you to Steve, he senses the tension, but keeps it to himself because he knows Steve, once the stress gets overwhelming, he will let it all out at some point and then all of this murky silence will be replaced with an explosive anger that Bucky hopes he will be ready for.

I walked into the kitchen and grabbed some ice from freezer, I turned slightly to see Steve hovering over me like a protective guard dog.

“How much longer do you think this will go on?”

“I’m fine, you can stop hovering.” I say as I filled a pitcher up with water and tossed the ice cubes in.

“You’re putting yourself at risk with every mission we go on.”

“I’m not at risk, I’ve been very careful.”

He scoffed. “So you getting tossed like a rag doll against the wall is your idea of being careful because for a second there, it looked as if you were putting yourself in harms way.”

I leaned over the sink and dipped my hand into the pitcher, sighing with relief as the water numbed my semi-swollen wrist. I felt Steve’s presence hovering again, looking down at my hand. We gazed at each other and I recognized that look in his eyes, he’s reaching his breaking point and I know it won’t be too long before he tells Bucky if I don’t.

“Steve, please you can’t tell him.”

“You can’t keep this from him.”

“I-I’m not. I just need to figure things out.” I say closing my eyes.

“What kind of things?”

I open my eyes, I didn’t want to say the unspeakable. “If I want to keep it or not.”

Steve staggers backwards as if I slapped him. “That will kill him, this will be unforgivable. You know what we do for a living, you see it everyday and this, this is the good that we are fighting to protect.”

I turned to look at him as my hand dripped with water, pooling on the floor. “It’s my decision.”

“What’s going on here?” Bucky asked walking into the kitchen.

“Nothing.” We both say getting silence.

“Seems like something.” He observes grabbing a beer then leaning on the fridge eyeing us both.

“Isn’t there something you need to tell Bucky”

My eyes were black slits. “No.” I answered taking a step and slipping in the water, but catching my balance as Steve inhaled deeply.

Steve grits his teeth.“Tell him or I will.”

“This is none of your fucking business, Steve.”

“Whoa, okay, time out. What’s going on here because the two of you have been at each others throats like vicious dogs.” Bucky questioned, we both ignore him.

“You are being selfish. Every time you go out on a mission you put this team and yourself at risk and this is my team, so it is my business. Do you even know how far along you are?“

“Far along?” Bucky turns to me. “What is he talking about?”

“It’s nothing.” I lied.

Steve scoffs. “I wouldn’t call carrying a human being nothing because it’s something.”

“How dare you!” I screamed. “You have no right!“

The beer shattering to the floor silenced us. “You’re pregnant?” The shock weakens him to his knees.

My eyes filled with tears. “Yes.” I approached, kneeling in front of him, holding his hands. “I-I didn’t know how to tell you.”

“Because she’s not sure she wants to keep it.” Steve spewed.

“Steve! How could you?“I cried out.

“He needs to know the truth.” He replies non-chalantly.

I turned to Bucky and the disgust on his face washed over me, bathing me in shame. “Baby, it’s not what you think, please.” I pleaded, reaching out to touch him, but he bats my hand away. He stands and walks out of the kitchen without a second glance.

I am detached
from feelings
and I’m so sorry
once again,
I let myself
get in the way
of things that
could be,
but won’t be
because I shouldn’t
say I love you
just to hear another
I told you so
letters to myself
disclosed, detached
these were supposed
to be the better days
but I’m not okay
I’m unhappy
and it’s not your fault
you shouldn’t have
to put up with me
you shouldn’t have
to love me
for what it’s worth
we could’ve been
something so much more
than just another poem
that I can’t write
these are Shakespeare’s
last words with a spin
and a twist, remembering
ways to not grab your hips
remembering ways
to not kiss your lips
there is poison slipped
into my pens,
I don’t write love poems
I write we’re kinda
fucked poems
I don’t write prose
I write the story
of the dying rose
If I give and give
If you take and take
If I love and love
and you trust and trust
which parts of us
will understand me
when I’m alone and numb
without you clogging up
my heart with another
apology that sounds like
I’m sorry, I wish we could’ve been
I wish we could be more
than just a pile of lust
and sin that won’t happen
dear Heavenly Father,
forgive me for my wicked ways
if I pray and pray
if I duck and dodge
your solemn words
that sever ties
that paint the walls
of my soul into crispy gold
into melted snow
my thoughts will follow
some lovers have hands
that I could hold
but I can’t stay
if I’m still not
over the mountain
of regrets and no,
I’ll leave by sunrise
even if your clothes are on
and we didn’t make love
we’re naked to the truth
you can see it in my eyes
I hate telling lies
so I don’t talk much
I hate small talk
so I don’t make friends
I don’t trust people
I barely trust myself
I’m a sinner that knows
how to love,
I’m an angel that fell
from above
another misunderstanding
and we’re still far from this place
baby, I’m detached from you
you deserve the moon and the stars
I cannot give you the universe
I cannot give you the sun
but maybe somebody else can
I cannot be in love with you
I cannot be in love with you
if I still don’t understand
if I still don’t know how to love myself
and if you love me for how I am
and if you have stayed this long
and if you really are in love with me
then understand that I am detached
a loop, a maze, a graze on your lips
I wear us thin into the pen
A pen is my weapon
and these words
are the cuts that I am made of
some truths sink into your skin
this love is razor sharp,
I’m out of bandages
I’m all out of love
I’m with shadows
near the shoreline
looking for inspiration
upon desperation
slowly now, slowly now
into the sunrise
one day from my ashes
I will rise, I will rise
—  detached
Hand to Hand

A/N: Bucky is teaching you hand to hand combat when uh….things get interesting.

“Doll, keep your hands up. Parallel to each other like I’ve showed you.” I do as he commands and he gives a nod of approval. “Excellent, now I’m going to reach out and I want you to block my hit.”

“Okay.” I nod.

“On the count of three…one…”

His hand propels forward and I screamed out. “You said on the count of three not one.”

“Predict your opponent’s move.”

I reach out with a jab and he blocks it effortlessly, using that moment to tap me in my ribs. “You’re leaving your body unprotected.”

I sweep a hand in front of my stomach and he taps me on the neck. I grunt, propelling forward my punch landing on his rib, which was a mass of muscle. “Good girl.”

I smiled thinking of the only other time he calls me a good girl, which doesn’t involve clothing.

He taps me in the stomach again. “What the hell, that hurts.”

“Pay attention.”

“I am.” I say defensively as he blocked my punch. “Why do I need to do this?”

“You need to learn how to protect yourself.”

I rolled my eyes. “Why when I have a deadly assassin for a boyfriend.”

He exhales deeply. “I’m no longer an assassin.” He replies tersely. “What if you find yourself in a situation when I’m off on a mission? What will you do then?”

He doesn’t give me any warning before he lunges forward and I stumbled backwards.

“I won’t need to learn hand to hand combat if I had a gun or a knife.”

“Is that so?”

I nod.

He reaches from behind revealing a sleek black knife with a serrated edge and intricate symbols on the blade. “Where the hell did that come from?” I asked looking puzzled.

“Doll, I have five weapons on my person as we speak.“He states, slipping the sheath in his pants pocket.

"Right now?”


“Where?” I asked, My eyes darting to different parts of his body.

He ignores me. He holds the knife in his palm. “If you can grab this knife from my hand, not only will I give it to you, but I’ll teach you how to use it.”

I lunge forward, but his palm closes. “You’ll have to be faster than that.”

“You have an unfair advantage.”

We both look at his arm. “My arm? Are you serious?” I nod. “Fine.”

He puts his left arm behind his back then opens the palm of his right hand, dangling the knife skillfully in front of me. I take a step forward and the knife disappears out of sight. I used this moment to hit him in the chest.

“You’re leaving your body unprotected.” I teased.

The next actions happened so quickly, I don’t know if I should be impressed, frightened or turned on. He tosses the knife up in the air, sweeps my legs from beneath me in one swift movement, his left arm cradles my fall as we both hit the floor and in another split second he catches the knife without looking and stabs it into the space above my head.

“Your pupils are dilated.” He observes.

I wonder if he could hear my heart palpitations as my heart raced abnormally in my chest. The vibration of my pulse in my veins pounded loudly in my ears as I became aware of our bodies, mainly the throbbing pressed into my hip.

“Is that one of the five weapons you have on your person.” I say all breathy.

He bites his bottom lip and smirked, leaning his face next to my ear. “No, this weapon is not like the others.”

“How so?” I asked inhaling deeply, fully aware of the movements of my body and how with every inhalation his limbs sinks deeper into my own.

He paused, gazing intently at my parted lips sucking in air that was tinged with my lust and his sweat.

“This weapon is dangerous when provoked.” He threatens. His cerulean eyes becoming volcanic as I felt the explosion of heat radiating out of my apex and the noticeable growth and hardening of his throb.

“Bucky.” I breathed as his tongue grazed my bottom lip..

He pins my wrists above my hand that scrapes the serrated knife and presses his full weight on top of me as he spread my legs with his knee.

anonymous asked:

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idk who u are but the “FUCK ME UP PLS” has me feeling like we’d be good friends. anyway, i hope u like it pal!!!

It’s raining in New York today and I have a killer headache that I’m desperately trying to drown out with caffeine before I head to class.

“Hi, can I have a grande white mocha? Thanks.” No sooner had I given the barista my order when I hear the voice that’s haunted my dreams for months now behind me.


At first, I think I might be hallucinating and I almost reach for my phone to call my therapist, but then his fingers tap my shoulder and when I turn around those green eyes pierce me the way they did the day he told me he was leaving me. “How are you? It’s good to see you.” He says and before I can respond he’s pulled me into a hug. “You look great.” He says, unbothered by the fact that I haven’t spoken yet. As he looks me over he begins to frown, “Is that my shirt?”

Keep reading

Good Lust

Thank you ALL for being patient with me, the past month has been a blur, but here we are…a quick one-shot as I complete the follow up to Barcelona. Enjoy :)

A/N: You faked an orgasm, Bucky overhears this, his ego is bruised and his anger unbound.

I didn’t have to turn to feel his searing heat upon my back as we entered the house. This was a new kind of anger with its own set of consequences. I opened the door to our bedroom and walked to the window looking out into the gray sky and as if on cue the rain pelted heavily against the window as the lightning cracked into the now darkened sky, which matched Bucky’s current mood. He didn’t say anything, he dropped his bag on the chair and unzipped it, unpacking its contents loudly as he observed me silently, which meant he had something on his mind.

“Are you going to tell me what I did wrong?” I asked turning to face him. “Or will I have to guess?” My words having more bite than I intended.

The dull ache in Bucky’s temple came forth with a burning vengeance. “You faked an orgasm.”

The air left my lungs and my knees weakened as he uttered those four words. I inhaled deeply trying to steady myself, but the tremor went deep to the bone.

“Oh my God,” I repeated to myself silently. He knows, how does he know? Did the ladies tell him? No, they wouldn’t.

“You were spying on me?” I stated. I knew that he wasn’t but I didn’t know what else to say.

After we debriefed the men went to the weight room to unwind and the ladies and I went to the steam room to decompress. Wanda and Nat were talking about past relationships and the lengths they went to feed the male ego and the subject of faking an orgasm came up.

His anger broiled. “How many did you fake?”

“You are being ridiculous.” I deflected.

“Don’t you dare.” He replied. “I’m not playing this game with you.”

“It’s not a game. You won’t believe what I say, so why try to explain?”

“What we do in our bedroom is between you and I, Doll, not you, I and the whole damn team.”

“I know.” I answered trying to defuse his anger.

“Then why would you fucking tell them about our sex life?” He shouted as his anger found another spark.

He never cursed at me, this was new. My inner goddess slipped her headphones over her ears and began to file her nails. She wasn’t having any parts of this argument.

“It wasn’t like that, you are making this into something that it’s not.”

“How many did you fake?” He asked as he clenched and unclenched his jaw.

“James, please.”

“How many?”

“One. It was only once.”


“Does it matter?”

“When?” He repeated rubbing his eyes.

“Wakanda.” I answered, watching as his mind flashed back to that night.

We’ve been in Wakanda for a few weeks training alongside T’Challa’s team from sunrise to sunset. Into the third week, the training started to take its toll on my body, unlike Bucky and the rest of the team who thrived off of the exhaustion that seems to roll off their muscular backs like sweat, I was the opposite.

By the time we showered and went to bed, all I wanted to do was sleep and rest my achy limbs, but Bucky wanted more than I could physically give him, I should’ve said I was too tired or that I’m not in the mood, but I didn’t, I opened my legs and felt his steel as he overpowered me, but I couldn’t get there and I knew the only way out was to fake an orgasm. Sleep was more important then, than his male ego.

“I’m sorry.” I croaked as my thoughts reeled through my head.

“Sorry? That’s all you have to say?” He exhaled loudly, signaling that he was completely done with this conversation.

“I don’t know what else you want me to say. I should’ve told you I was too tired, but I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”

He scoffs. “My feelings? Did you take my feelings into consideration when you told Wanda and Natasha that I couldn’t satisfy you, so you had to fake it.”

“You’re putting words in my mouth. I never said you didn’t satisfy me because you do in every way and I’m sorry. If I could go back I wouldn’t have said anything, but I can’t.” I paused, “please.”

The energy shifted in the room from anger to lust then mingling together in a thick sexual fog that was unadulterated good lust. He pulled his shirt over his head and undid his jeans. 

“What are you doing?” I asked watching the angry and sexy striptease. 

He steps out of his jeans and boxers and strides towards me in one swift movement, words were obsolete, he reaches for me sweeping the dress over my head. My chest heaves as his fingers brushed against my nipples that pebbled, the fire between us was undeniable as our lips met.

Without warning, he enters me, filling me to the hilt in one swift movement. He pulls my legs towards him, so that they fell on the sides of the pillow, giving him full control. He grips my waist and slams into me repeatedly, holding me in place as he delved deeply and deliciously into my epicenter. I grabbed ahold of his knee as he unleashed his wrath upon me like the unyielding winds of a hurricane.

I screamed out, “James! I’m coming, oh God!”

He rolls me onto my back, “Are you lying to me?” He asked as his knee pried my legs apart, delving into me with one sweet, aching and smooth stroke and then another, and another, deeper than the previous. “Are you faking it?”

“No, please!” I pleaded, but he was deaf to all pleas, cries, and moans. I don’t know at what point I lost myself in the multiple orgasms that rippled throughout what was left of my shattered psyche, but I no longer knew myself. I was nothing but dead weight in his hands.

And all because I faked an orgasm.

Song listened to while writing this Good Lust - Keaton Henson

Convergence 5

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 - Part 1 Chapter 14 - Part 2 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19-1 Chapter 19-2 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22

A/N: Bucky versus Loki. Enjoy.

“We slept together.”

Bucky became still at my side as the thought of Loki fucking his pregnant girlfriend played before his eyes. He felt the bile rising in the back of his throat, but he swallowed it down. “Did you do it to get back at me for sleeping with Nat?

Wait, what?

First the kiss now this.

“You slept with Natasha?” I squeaked.

What came next wasn’t anger but pure rage. He flew out of the room with one thought on his mind.

“Bucky!” I bellowed. “Stop!”

But there was no coming back as his thoughts were no longer his. The winter soldier lunges for Loki and both came crashing to the ground. “You slept with my pregnant girlfriend.” He shouted. Loki changed into me as if to quell Bucky’s anger, but he didn’t realize that empathy wasn’t programmed into the soldier’s nature, he was out for the kill, he wrapped his strong arm around Loki’s neck and began to squeeze.

“Bucky.” Loki says in my voice, but the soldier squeezed harder.

The group rushes into the room and seeing me in Bucky’s grip caused the scene to become more chaotic.

“Buck are you crazy. Let her go!” Steve screamed rushing towards us.

“That’s not Bucky.” I sobbed.

Sam lets out a high pitch scream. “What kind of sorcery is this?” He exclaimed looking at me and then at the version of me Bucky had pinned to the floor.

Do you see this?” Bruce asked Tony as they gazed at the tablet screen that held images of the inside of Bucky’s brain.

“Wanda didn’t trigger the soldier. His anger is the trigger, she only heightened it when she was in his head.”

“This is unbelievable.” Bruce gaped at the electrical charges that were transforming before his eyes.

“Looks like we have another hulk in our midst.”

Bruce laughed uneasily.

Bucky picked Loki up by the throat and tossed him into the coffee table that shattered. Bucky’s left arm activates and he readied himself for the attack. Thor burst into the room catching Bucky by the arm as he launched himself at Loki, stopping him in mid-air. This gave Loki enough time to prepare as a burst of energy sent Bucky flying through the open balcony doors face first. Bucky spits tasting the metallic tinge of his blood that flowed from his inner cheek. Loki didn’t want to fight Bucky, he promised he wouldn’t kill him and seeing the rage in Bucky’s eyes made it hard for him to keep his promise because Bucky’s only aim was to kill him, so he did what any other God would do. Another force of energy sent Bucky flying towards the waterfall, his arm grabs ahold of the tree breaking off a huge chunk as his legs dangled from the edge, Bucky pulled himself rightside up as the group rushed outdoors.

Mjolnir hits Loki in the back and he falls to the floor hard, “brother, stop.” Thor commands.

“I did not sleep with her.” Loki snarls.

His words fell on deaf ears, Bucky aims his arm at Loki and the bullet ricocheted off Steve’s shield that landed protectively over Loki.

“Buck!” Steve shouted.

Thor reaches for Mjolnir and it jumps back into his hand. Loki stands and with Steve’s shield as his shield, he charges Bucky, whose feet were slipping as he got pushed to the edge. Bucky’s hand to hand combat training took over and the shield clatters to the ground as he sent Loki flying over the edge.

A hand grabs Bucky’s foot and pulls him until he too fell into the shadowy abyss below.

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