pointed cabbage

anonymous asked:

Hiya! Can I request RFA/Saeran+MC going grocery shopping together? Could you also include which aisle they would spend the longest time in? I hope that's not too much >.< Have a lovely day~

Here ya go! Grocery shopping is nice because there’s a lot of food and I’m quite fond of that stuff.

-Sevensity


Yoosung:

  • Ok but this boy knows what’s up
  • He’s been to the grocery store so many times, he can probably finish all his shopping with his eyes closed (or at least one of them closed if you know what I mean hahahhaha sorry)
  • He’s like those moms who are into super couponing probably because his own mom was too
  • He has a whole binder full of coupons waiting to be used, and he’s categorized them all according to types and %off.
  • Even if you’ve been grocery shopping before, going with Yoosung is a whole other deal
  • Jeez is it intense
  • Though who knew browsing the vegetable aisle with this boy by your side would prove to be such an enlightening experience?
  • Unless you tell him you already know most of the stuff he’s saying, Yoosung will not hesitate to stop in front of every single thing and tell you about its various uses in cooking, or just life in general
  • And by every single thing I mean every single damn thing, even if it’s considered elementary knowledge
  • “This is a banana—“
  • “I know Yoosung,I know.”
  • He’ll also teach you really simple recipes while you load up your cart with food
  • “If you have trouble sleeping, heat up some milk and sprinkle some powdered nutmeg into it!” actually very comforting imo
  • “For really brown bananas, if you don’t want to eat them or can’t use them at the moment, put them in the freezer and you can make yummy banana bread with them later!”
  • “If you ever slice apples and want to prevent them from turning brown, just dip them in a bit of lemon juice!”
  • Thank you Yoosung Sensei
  • Every time you go grocery shopping together, you know you’ll return home feeling like you just took an intensive nutrition class

Spends longest time in:

Literally everywhere????

The only aisle he doesn’t really visit is the liquor aisle, but other than that he’ll spend the same amount of time in each place. Occasionally he will steer clear of the milk section after remembering some, ah, unpleasant memories

Zen:

  • Okay so he’s not quite a dolt when it comes to grocery shopping that’s for sure, like he knows about the basics, and of course he’s a beer expert
  • Though he is nowhere close to being on Yoosung’s Godly Grocery level
  • and Zen will never admit that he doesn’t know jack shit about what he buys most of the time
  • He’ll try to seem knowledgeable just for you, and he does want you to eat healthy (”Fruits and vegetable ares good for the skin! Though my skin is already amazing enough.” thank you zen that makes me feel so much better about myself)
  • But he’s not sure what to do with 90% of the stuff he puts in your cart
  • When you guys go home, he’ll sneak a phone call to Yoosung, list all the items that he bought, and Yoosung in turn will teach him a few possible recipes
  • Tbh usually such a phone call would sound like some shady drug dealing cuz it starts all like:
  • “Hey, Yoosung,” Zen casts a wary eye around before whispering, “I’ve got new goods.  Can you hook me up with some plans?”
  • But it’s okay, you’ll relax once you hear them talking about the properties of lettuce
  • “Zen, let me get this straight. You bought a whole octopus…without actually knowing how to cook it?!”
  • “Uh, yeah.”
  • “WHY?!”
  • “Well, I can’t be her knight in shining armor if I don’t know how to deal with a mere octopus!”
  • When Seven hears about this, he’s all like “move aside fabled evil dragon, the princess in the tower is now guarded by a wriggling, squishy octopus. How will Zen slay the mighty beast?”

Spends longest time in:

Cosmetics aisle! And I mean spends a loooooooooooooOOOng time. He wants you to try stuff on. Then he wants you to give him a makeover. Then he wants to take pictures. Then he finds new products to try. The infernal cycle begins again. 


Jaehee:

  • She never really had any  time to go grocery shopping before, and so she would just buy her meals from the convenience store
  • So the first time you went shopping together, oh boy was this girl lost
  • Although she knows all the fruits and vegetables and different types of meat, so the basics,  she just doesn’t know what to buy because there are so many choices??
  • She just wants to buy everything and try it all 
  • And so she does
  • You’re zooming around all the aisles, and soon each of you have your own cart chock full of food
  • In the end, two end up buying too much and invite Yoosung over to help y’all cook 
  • “Okay, I get that you wanted to buy a lot to get variety, but that does not explain why you had to buy 10 packs of meat and a total of 5 types of squash,” says Yoosung, mildly exasperated. 

Spends the longest time in:

The bakery section! She likes to look at their desserts to get inspiration, and will sometimes by those that catch her fancy. Although she also does spend a lot of time in the coffee section, however, there usually isn’t a lot of variety so she tends to be a bit disappointed. 


Jumin:

  • h a H
  • Jumin Han grocery shopping?
  • “Why go to the grocery store when the grocery store could come to you?”
  • babe PLS
  • “If you really want to make food yourself, why don’t you just order the ingredients online?”
  • Because grocery shopping is fun? sometimes
  • If you’re so insistent about going to the store, he’s 100% down to open one someplace in the building just for you.
  • Once you turn down all his extravagant ideas and manage to drag his fine ass to the store, Jumin is frowning.
  • Just like Yoosung, he’ll stop in front of every product there is. But this time, he’ll talk about them from a business perspective.
  • “If a watermelon costs this much for one pound, then for it to be of a profitable price, the amount of edible watermelon must be equal to—”
  • “Jumin we’ve been standing here for ten minutes.”
  • He’ll still occasionally stop to calculate the price per consumable unit though
  • Mutters to himself the whole time
  • But he proves to be immensely useful 
  • You’re comparing two types of dumplings, different companies, slightly different prices
  • “Jumin, which one comes out to be the best buy?”
  • Hoooooooh he’ll go all out 
  • He compares approximate size of dumplings, nutritional values, price per unit, reputability of manufacturer, you name it
  • So when you go grocery shopping, always bring yourself a Jumin Han to buy the best products in the store
  • Also because this rich boy is really cute when he wanders around, a little crease between his eyebrows, whispering equations to himself under his breath as he trails behind you like a little kid

Spends longest time in:

Pet food aisle, duhh. Would never dare feed Elly ‘commoner cat food’, though he’ll consider it if you make some brand suggestions. On a side note I feel like Jumin has tried Elly’s food before, especially if it’s something she seems to really like. “Maybe I can replicate this taste but make it something safe for humans to eat?”


Saeyoung:

  • asifdj;aslkdfjaslk;gja;lkdgj
  • cOme ON iT’S SAYOUNG WE ALREADY KNOW IT’LL BE A MESS
  • First of all, you guys are never both walking.  Either you’re in the cart and he pushes, or the other way around.
  • Here’s the thing though, he’s not so much in the cart as under it
  • I saw a picture of this but I can’t find it… you know how there’s usually a rack beneath the cart? Yeah, he just lies down on that.
  • If you leave him under the cart and wander too far away, he will yell “MArcO!” until you answer “polo” in an equally loud manner
  • This has gotten you kicked out more than a couple of times
  • “What do you mean soda and chips aren’t enough to sustain the human body?”
  • “What’s a vegetable?”
  • It’s like, he knows of the stuff, but he’s never seen any in person
  • “Wow…that’s…is that really an orange? In flesh????”
  • “This is edible?” he says, holding a pack of shrimp in his hands
  • While in the frozen food section: “I wonder what would happen if we blended a pizza, and then used that pizza to make pizza sauce for another pizza? Like…pizzaception.
  • you guys actually tried doing that but regretted it because that shit was disgusting
  • Food puns
  • He will try to be more serious if you tell him, but why would you? 
  • Saeyoung makes grocery shopping seem like an adventure

Spends longest time in:

I mean when he’s under the cart he doesn’t really have a choice so he’ll chill there and contemplate whether or not he should lick the floor while you get the food.  However, if he’s the one pushing you, you bet he’ll head straight to the snack section. That’s his turf. Will glower at those who dare approach his precious chips. “So um Saeyoung are we just gonna wait around here and chase people away all day or…?” 


Saeran:

  • He’s the type of kid that has absolutely no idea about anything
  • He’ll point at a cabbage and call it a cucumber
  • He says carrots grow on trees
  • You get a lot of stares because he calls everything by the wrong name with so much confidence
  • The baby is super proud of himself and you don’t have the heart to tell him he’s wrong
  • That changes when Yoosung goes shopping with him once though.  Yoosung almost cried when Saeran asked him what this weird, round white thing was called (answer: an oinion. HAH SAERAN IS LIKE AN ONION, HE HAS LAYERS HAHAHAHAHHA I’M SO FUNNY)
  • Yoosung lowkey kidnaps Saeran and they have a study session together where Saeran learns about the marvelous world of fresh produce
  • But once you go back to the store together after he studied hard, it’s so precious
  • Saeran correctly identifies most of the stuff, but after every time he names something, he’ll glance at you, as if waiting for your approval
  • once you give him a tiny nod, a smile playing around your lips, his eyes will just light the fuck up and ;sdfja;lskdfjaslkdfja the baby bean is gonna blush a lil’ because w oW he did it???
  • Saeran reverts back to a toddler when y’all go to the store, you better hold his hand or he’ll wander off and get lost in another dimension

Spends longest time in:

ya, the ice cream section. you can get ice cream on a stick?? w h at???? a pre made ice cream cone???? w HA t??? I CAN BUY TWO LITERS BUCKETS OF ICE CREAM??? W  H AT?!??!??!?! It’s a Saeran heaven and half the bill goes to his own, full cart of ice cream. 

*skids in just before midnight* sorry for the delay! I got caught up in a side project

“What does that mean?” Sam asks sleepily, head pillowed on Benny’s chest.

Benny doesn’t pause from where he’s tracing random patterns on Sam’s bare back. “What’s what mean?”

“What you called me earlier.”

“Called you a lot of things earlier,” Benny chuckles. “Hot, beautiful…” His hand drifts lower, just brushing against the curve of Sam’s ass. “Tight.”

Sam shivers and wriggles closer. “Mm, yeah, but- something French. I think it was French.”

Cher?” Benny guesses. “S’ just a term of endearment.”

“No, I know that one,” Sam says. “I hadn’t heard this one before. Shoot? Chew?”

“Oh,” Benny says, splaying his hand across Sam’s lower back. “Chou.”

“Yeah, that one,” Sam says with a sleepy hum. “I couldn’t tell what you were saying before.”

“Well my mouth was a little otherwise occupied,” Benny teases, hand drifting towards Sam’s ass again. A lazy twitch of Sam’s hip has him moving it back to safer territory.

“Not now,” Sam mutters. “What’s it mean? Chew.”

Chou,” Benny corrects. “It means, uh, sweetie, I s'pose? Technically sweet bun. Or, well, cabbage.”

Sam snorts out a surprised laugh. “You called me a cabbage while you were eating my ass? What the hell?”

“Sweet bun,” Benny says defensively. “I called you sweet. Cabbage is a literal translation. And don’t pretend that English pet names aren’t just as weird.”

“We don’t call people cabbage,” Sam points out. “Seriously, what the hell?”

“You call people ‘stud muffin,’ Benny points out. “How is that any better than cabbage, which, by the by, I didn’t call you? I called you sweetie.”

“Aw,” Sam coos. “Don’t get upset, you’ll always be my lettuce.”

Benny laughs and shoves gently at Sam. “Shut up.”

“Hey, be nice to me, Brussel sprout,” Sam scolds with a grin. “You’re my very special kale. I love you so much, arugula-“

“You eat too much healthy food,” Benny says flatly. “I don’t think that last one exists.”

“’Course it exists, I’m in bed with it,” Sam laughs. “And you are a very sexy cabbage indeed.”

Omg this is so freaking cute! I absolutely love it. I can totally see this happening. I love how natural and in character your humor and fluff is, anon. And you incorporate Benny’s Cajun culture into the stories so well. Also, Benny’s line about calling Sam a lot of things hit my pet names and dirty talk kinks so hard, hot damn 👀👀👀 (Sorry I couldn’t post this Thursday! My schedule has been crazy this week.)

Jewel Part 3 Joker X Reader <3

“It’s a little different from my…usual style” J let loose a deadly smile. Bringing his chin to the left and then to the right his neck making a sharp cracking noise. “So do ya like it? I worked so hard.” J dropped the smile staring directly into my eyes. I shivered. There were tattoos of my name scaring his body most had become infected swelling up and turning faintly green. “J? What happened to you?” I questioned staying perfectly still. He was in one of those.. moods. The one where someone usually gets their head blaster to smithereens. I smiled to myself thinking of the silly phrase quickly dropping it. ‘This isn’t a time for smiling dumb ass’ He made an angry grunt “Where your ears broken during your run Doll-face?” J snaked his way towards me gripping onto my arms. I stared at him trying to figure out his next move. “Let me take a look” he growled before yanking onto my ears. I flailed around screaming “J please I’m sorry, I’m sorry I left, I’m sorry” He ignored my pleads, screaming and ranting. “Frost get a doctor in here this girl is having hearing problems!” Roughly he pushed my back fully onto the ground sitting on my stomach. He had full control. “We’ll get ya fixed up soon doll in the mean time care to explain why you would leave me aching on my own-” he purred. I cried out. “J stop it! Stop!” 

He was holding my face down hard on the tile floor. Getting my right hand loose I hit J as hard as I could in his nose with the palm of my hand. He groaned in pain letting me slip out from under him. I sat by my vanity crying. J sat in the same position holding his nose. “What the hell J! what the fucking problem you dumb asshole!” J stood up weakly chuckling to himself smiling. Blood ran down his face “Welcome home doll” He slammed the door.

 My ears cringed at clicking noise his feet made when he walked down the hallway. I collapsed onto the floor letting tears stream out of my face. ‘fucking wussy” I slapped myself crying would do nothing to help this situation. Of course he ain’t excited to see ya. You lied to his face. What did you tell him the day you left  ‘Be back handsome guy! just going to get a soda’ I got up accepting J’s anger flopping myself onto the shredded bed. He will get over it. I thought to myself just give em’ time. 

Then he will be your shining clown prince once again. I fell asleep letting the thought comfort me. The reason I had run away from J slipped away from my memory. He had always bought me pretty things, even helped me take out my family in that fucking south Carolina trailer park. I let the thought slip away it was probably best not to think of it. 

“Are ya hungry doll?” I opened my eye groggy from the three hours I sleep I got. J was staring down at his hands a conflicted look in his eyes. “Whatcha got?” J grabbed my hand leading down the the kitchen. The cooks scrambled behind the counter preparing themselves for whatever J would request from them. “ Tell em’ whatcha want Daddy’s got business to attend to kitten so I won’t be joining you” J grabbed my face. Confused I I acted like everything was normal “okay baby do your worst” I kissed his cheek before walking further in the kitchen putting space in between us. J stayed smiling in the dining room before leaving. What the hell was his problem? He hadn’t cracked a single joke, shot a henchmen, nothing. maybe he was going soft. I looked around suspiciously. “Is this food poisoned!?” I screamed pointing to a cabbage that sat on the counter. All the cooks paused their eyes beating like little rats. They wouldn’t answer me. Feeling a bit awkward I kept on talking. “because it better not be!” I stormed out of the room feeling embarrassed. I will just call in room service that was a nightmare. 

 I wouldn’t see J until 2 a.m the next day. I was up listening to my records and carefully painting one of the henchman’s left shoes I stole when they were drinking the in the bar down stairs. J’s voice hissed outside of the door. “She better be in here” Frost whispered re-assuring J. 

The door opened and J stepped lightly in. I jumped shoving the shoe under the bed before smiling at J and Frost. “Frost take that form her” J spoke demanding not taking his eyes off of me. Frost sighed walking towards me. I hissed why he pried the shoe out of my hand. When he completed his lame mission he shut the door walking away. It was just J and I left in the room. I stood up from the floor letting the shoes drop to the floor. Giggling when hit the ground. J eyes looked over every inch of my body like he wasn’t sure what to do quickly looking away like he was wounded when our eyes met. I became annoyed snorting at him when I walked by. “What happened to your chest?” I questioned my back turned to him. I began to fold all the new clothes J had bought me, placing them neatly in the closet. “Oh these little things” He chuckled weakly “I went a little mad without ya’ doll thinking maybe I could fly” 

His voice lightened. I peeked at him to see if he was looking at me . J was standing at the broken window sliding his fingers along the edges of the broken glass. For where I was standing my eyes could see the crimson red liquid coming out of his finger. “J you asshole” I rushed over grabbing his hand carefully holding one of the shirts to stop the bleeding. Becoming flustered I began to stutter. “What the fuc-” I stopped myself meeting his blue eyes. his face was pained in a real human way, emotions conflicting inside of him. Did I do this? That was impossible. I could never effect him in that way. The defeat and longing in his face told me other wise. “J-” I reached out to him to comfort him. Realizing his vulnerability he grunted shoving me strongly against the wall. 

J pushed past me His face in a dangerous scowl slamming the bedroom door behind him. I looked down at the bloodied white shirt in my hand laughing. “Get over yourself” I mumbled trying to push aside the agony I saw in J’s eyes. 

 Thank yon for reading I appreciate you! To be continued in part 4 Same bat-time Same bat-channel! <3

and now shes gone

anonymous asked:

This may have been done, but tofu round ups please?

Here are tofu round ups that I’ve made in the past: vegan easy tofu round up, vegan tofu breakfast round upvegan tofu taco round up, vegan Asian style tofu round upvegan tofu curry round up and vegan grilled tofu round up. Here are some tofu tips and more tofu recipes. Below are other tofu recipes that I’ve posted in the past. Is there a specific tofu round up you’d like to see?

Lol Day 1: Queen/Knight AU

AN: I’m five days late BUT I’m going to catch up. Didn’t know how I wanted to end this but ayyyeeeee here we go!

:::

Sasuke pocketed his hands as he walked through the long hallways of the castle. Only thing that was giving these halls light was the moonlight beaming inside and the small candles every few feet.

His ears perked to the sound of talking. Around the corner, two Knights came into view. They stood at attention upon seeing Sasuke. As the Black Knight, he was head and captain of all Knights.

“Have you two made your rounds in the corridor?”

They glanced at each other. “The castle is so big-”

He waved them off. The two men hurried by him. Sasuke continued walking until he made it to the library. He opened the door and noted the glass ceiling and how amazing this place truly was.

He walked to the brick wall and ran his fingers across the texture until the brick moved. He wondered how many generations of Hyuuga and Uchiha knew about these secret rooms.

He assumed these relationships between the families were ancient. It made him wonder if his own father had the same strange attraction to the Queen…or even the King.

His eyes lifted to the woman sitting on the bed. His Queen…

She smiled at him. Sasuke stepped inside and closed the secret passage behind him. She sat up and pulled the strap of her night gown up. He unbuckled his pants.

The best part of these secret rooms. They were virtually soundproof. He climbed on the Queen. His sense were heightened just by her scent. Smooth legs wrapped around his waist. “What’s…wrong?” She asked.

He stared down at her. Beautiful. Opal eyes and shining navy tresses. He wanted every bit of this woman. “Nothing,” he mumbled, gently kissing her neck.

“Take…take you time,” said Hinata.

He pulled off his shirt, revealing scratches from last time. It made Hinata’s heart pound even faster. “As you wish, my Queen.” He said slowly.

:::
:::

Hinata refrained from rolling her eyes as the Elders stood before her. “My Queen, is not time to be having an heir?”

“I’m twenty-three,” said Hinata. “Having an heir is not my priority.”

“And having a King?”

She closed her eyes and wished they disappear. She didn’t understand how her father dealt with these decrepit people. Why were they even still alive? Since her great-grandfather’s rule, only one died.

They were probably a family curse.

Hinata looked by her side. Sasuke stood expressionless, as usual. She shifted her vision to her adviser. “Sakura, should I marry?”

“Historical Queens have been more powerful without a spouse,” the pinkette spoke. “The Kingdom will simply not trust a King…and if I may speak freely?” Hinata nodded. Sakura flipped through her clipboard. “The Queen is young, her health has never been better – actually since her birth there have been a significant drop in wars.”

Hinata smiled, even Sasuke smirked. The Six Elders grumbled together before leaving the room. Sakura sighed, “I deserve a drink.”

“You do,” said Hinata, laughing. “I think I want to visit my people today.” She had a bone to pick with the Cabbage Man.

:::
:::

Hinata crossed her arms. “Riku…”

He was hugging a head of lettuce. “My Queen, look…I have to raise the prices! These are my best ones!” He flinched when the Knights horse came dangerously close to his cart. “Keep that beast away from my vegetables!”

“Riku, think about the families.”

“Tell them to stop having kids!” He whined. “I ain’t got no kids!”

Keep reading

pumkinfriend  asked:

Hi. I was wondering, could you post a soba round up? Your blog has been really helpful! I wish I could eat everything on here at once.

Here’s a vegan soba noodle round up. I’m glad to know this blog has been helpful for you! If you ever decide to make everything here at once please invite me over. Below are other soba noodle recipes that I’ve posted in the past. Enjoy!