anonymous asked:

My girlfriend broke up with me can I have some cryptid dex headcanons to mend my soul

Aw sweetie I’m so sorry :c So since I’m watching a Devils game while writing this, I’ll talk about Dex playing for them!! Any draft stuff will be later because I need help from my friend bc i know Nothing about hockey. So! (Ended up being about 2.2k!!)

  • So Dex plays for the New Jersey Devils
  • He’s obviously nervous about going into professional sports, he’s in the spotlight especially as a rookie, so even more eyes are on him
  • Nursey is really good about helping Dex keep calm: they spend a lot of time up in Maine the summer leading up to his first season, or at least as much as they can with Dex’s schedule with practice
    • Nursey flies them back and forth, footing the bill. Dex complains since now he’s an NHL player and is making more than enough money to do it, but Nursey knows he has too much on his mind and wants to do something to help ease the stress
  • They actually live in Nursey’s mom’s apartment because they’re both overseas for work, which gives them some time to shop for their own place while still living comfortably. It’s only about a 40 minute commute and Dex is usually out of the house early to beat traffic
    • They end up in the Lower East Side because well, Dex has the money, and it makes for an easier commute, and Nursey loves NYC, and regardless of how much the city can overwhelm Dex, it’s…
      • It’s really easy to blend in there. 
  • In terms of the team, they take to him relatively well
  • He clams up again, just as he always does when he enters a new group of people, stoic and stiff, wary
  • The team seems to understand, not really pushing him or anything
  • (And for the reccord I am putting in two OCs for the team so i am very sorry Schneider and Kinkaid but one of you is going bc I gotta have a goalie, and one of the centermen too. I love y’all but this is Important)
  • He sits between the goalie and the first line centerman
  • The Goalie is Christopher Nash
    • Nicknamed Nasher but also sometimes called Silent G, Missing G, or G (Gnash, Gnasher)
      • This is because he sends to grind his teeth/gnash when he’s concentrated or stressed at the goal
    • Clenches his jaw a lot regardless
    • It’s? Honestly a little terrifying for the offensive players on the other team. Really Intimidating.
    • 6′5″ and a looks little lanky but weighs in at around 220lb
    • So like, a weird, flexible, cat-like-reaction lanky wall in front of the net
    • Also relatively stoic but has chirps that can Destroy 
    • Fences (like the sword fighting) as part of his training, for reflexes, but also recreationally competes
    • Comes from Galveston on the coast of Texas
  • The centerman is Roland Clipper
    • Nicknamed Clicks, given to him by Nasher when he got drafted
    • 6′1″ and a little lanky looking as well, weighing in at around 200lb
    • Actually from a town near San Jose (Moss Beach) and likes to joke about getting jipped from playing for the Sharks when talking to the press
    • Can be a pretty imposing presence, good at leadership, but isn’t captain or an alternate
    • Has repeated that he doesn’t want the spotlight, and will continue to turn down the offers
      • Still tends to be a consultant for the captain and alternates
    • Also tends to be the “Mom/Dad” of the team where he’s the person you go to if you have a problem or need advice. Also checks up on teammates regularly. Doesn’t come off as warm but his teammates know he is in his own way
      • Will bring you soup if you complain too much that you’re sick and wont leave until you eat at least half of it
    • Relatively stoic as well, doesn’t smile much and tends to take the position of arms crossed over his chest

Ok this is definitely gonna be a lot longer so the rest is under a cut!!!!

Keep reading

Part 1 ft Dex falling asleep

(2 - 3 - 4)(AO3)

The library was quiet. Only one other person was in the room aside from Dex and Nursey, who were managing, for once, to work comfortably side by side. The rest of the Samwell Hockey team had either bailed earlier after hearing that chicken tenders were in the canteen today (Ransom and Holster) or had a date with a member of the volleyball team (Chowder and also Ransom? Dex wasn’t really sure, and also didn’t really care). As it was, the library was almost silent save for the clicking of keyboards and the soft music coming from Nursey’s headphones.

Dex was bored. He had spent almost the entire morning at this point trying to finish the homework for him and Chowder’s CompSci class, and had only just decided that enough was enough and he needed a break. Pushing his laptop aside and groaning as the muscles in his shoulders popped from disuse, he let his head fall to the table with a low thunk.

He heard a low chuckle from his left, but didn’t raise his head to look over. “I’m guessing you’re done then?”

“I’m done in the sense that I no longer give a shit” Dex told the table, closing his eyes. “Fuck CompSci. Who the hell told me this was a good idea?”

“I don’t know man. Like I said before, poetry’s more my speed. Maybe you should try it.”

Keep reading

The SMH Team with painted nails
  • Jack: Probably just a clear coat because he is boring and lame and practical ( I love my dork son) 
  • Bitty: Bitty is classy as heck so he probably has a French manicure. He mixes it up and sometimes does colors other than white but they are always #flawless and never chipped
  •  Holster: Glitter, he’ll do any color as long as it’s glittery (Don’t ask me why)
  • Ransom: Samwell Crimson and White or salmon to match his shorts (Holster probably cries when he sees)
  • Shitty: He paints every nail a different color because he just can’t decide on one 
  • Lardo: Probably black but you can’t tell because they’re always chipped and covered with acrylic paint. She is an art major and she doesn’t have time to take off last nights eyeliner much less paint her nails 
  • Chowder: Shark’s teal, or he gets nail art of like an actual shark.  I feel like the only reason he would get something different is to match Farmer
  • Nursey: I feel like glittery gold, or sparkly blue, or nude pink.  I feel like Nursey and Kent are the only ones who really consistently paint their nails so Nurse has probably done like every color at some point
  • Dex: Lavender, I feel like my angry baby is secretly a pastel loving softie
  • Kent: He gets acrylics with like fake diamonds or the ones with water and glitter in them. Maybe they’re like filed to points or something idk my trash son is so #extra

everyone is hella queer headcanons, check please edition:

jack zimmerman: demiromantic demisexual and bi (because he only ever loves ppl he gets close to so of course it’s always gonna be his hockey teammates because hockey is his number 1 love)

eric bittle: gay trans boy (trans bitty tho…. trans bitty!!!! and he’s afraid to come out as gay to his parents because they thought that once he transitioned he would be ‘normal now’. and just. wow. eric bittle as trans. wow.)

b. shitty knight: lithromantic gray-asexual and genderqueer (gender doesn’t make much sense to shitty, as a social construct. they kinda just wanna be seen as the person they are. they’re also not so interested in sex or romantic love or anything, but if it happens, it happens and shitty’s kinda a little in love with all of their best friends. no way that shitty’s gonna do anything about their crushes on lardo or jack or bitty though.)

larissa ‘lardo’ duan: aromantic bisexual demigirl (fuck romance, lardo will fuck whoever she wants, of whatever gender. and she’s a girl, but she’s also a bro. deal with it.)

adam ‘holster’ birkholtz: demiromantic homoromantic heterosexual (girls are hot, okay, but it remains that the only person he’s ever fallen in love with is his best friend.)

justin ‘ransom’ oluransi: biromantic bisexual (just.. so.. bi)

chris ‘chowder’ chow: polyromantic asexual (not really interested in sex, but is so enthusiastic about loving people.)

derek ‘nursey’ nurse: panromantic pansexual and agender (too chill to have a gender; too chill for gender to matter when choosing a partner.)

william ‘dex’ pointdexer: questioning (he always thought he was “normal”, or as shitty tells him, allocishet, but now that he’s here at samwell and sees what diversity of experience there is, he’s not sure.)

john johnson: aromantic asexual and voidgender (as a minor side character, he wasn’t made to be shipped romantically or sexually with anyone. he knows this, and is glad of this. it’s a little rough, though, to be expected to be a cishet, because nobody who reads this would expect anything other than the norm from this minor side character. what do they know of him really? his life that exists beyond the parameters of the story, but doesn’t because his life isn’t the point of the story. his gender is like that, something that should exist… but doesn’t. there is a gap where it would be.)