poignant look

it took me so long to write this i honestly should have broken this up into multiple parts lmao.  also i’m a slut for daveed diggs’ tjeff.

title: serendipity
fandom: hamilton
pairing: tjeff x reader
rating: t
word count: 4010 (WTF YA’LL???)

“I’m not going to flirt with the TA for a higher grade, Angelica!”

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-Otabek has that old-school charm. A classic gentleman with a soul trapped in the aesthetics of James Dean. Yuri has a silver tongue and piercing eyes. His heart is electrifying and difficult to touch. 

-Sometimes in the middle of the night, when Yuri can’t sleep, he’ll whisper into Otabek’s ear, knowing that he’s a light sleeper. Then, the two of them would wordlessly get changed and hop onto Otabek’s motorcycle and escape into the night. Without speaking more, Otabek would park next to a lake and they’ll stare at the stars until the sun comes up. Yuri isn’t quite sure what these rituals really are, but the happiness and peace he feels being below the wide expanse of the sky and next to Otabek is something that brings him true happiness.

-Otabek and Yuri have a house next to the ocean. During summer evenings, Otabek would take out his guitar and strum some timeless songs, smiling in the most lovesick manner as Yuri sways softly to the melody.

-Otabek and Yuri vacation in obscure and often unknown locations because they see beauty in the places that everyone else forgets. 

-There is nothing more assuring than the feeling of Otabek’s fingers laced around Yuri’s own. Otabek’s grip is not constant and he often applies just the slightest bit of pressure to remind Yuri that he’ll always be there.

-Yuri often felt a strange fear of the world until he met the person who he knew would go against that fear for the rest of his life.

-There is an elderly man who lives in the neighboring house. He is alone but he never seems lonely. One day, a young girl meets him outside and asks why he lives in such a big house alone. Smiling, the man tells the girl that it was the house he and his husband built together. Curiously, the girl asks the man why she has never seen the man’s husband. With a raw, poignant look in his eyes, the elderly man tells the girl that he had passed away ten years ago. He interrupts the girl as she begins to apologize profusely for her insensitivity and tells her that he would much rather have her focus on his husband’s life than his death. Thus begins a friendship between the two. Each day, the old man would tell an anecdote to the girl over tea and watches over her as she grows older and eventually gets accepted into her dream university, set on her path to becoming a writer. At university, she receives the news that the old man had passed away peacefully. When she returns to visit his grave a few years later, out of the corner of her eye, she briefly sees what resembles the two beautiful men she had come to love and know so well over the years, holding hands and smiling at her. With the stories of the life that the two men lead together radiantly clear her mind, the girl pens her first novel, inspired by her “grandfathers”. 

Good Job, Universe

Pairing: Jordan Fisher x Reader

Word Count: 2,392

A/N: Just want to thank the @hamwriters group chat for this wonderful idea based on somebody’s personal experience with my baby, Jordan Fisher. So basically, I took all of @myalexanderhamiltonjustyouwait‘s tweets and made a fic out of them bc how could I not?

With tears running down your face, you stood and clapped with the rest of the audience. You watched as the cast made their way back onstage and bowed. It was obvious they enjoyed performing the show every night. They were beaming, smiles on every face.

As you looked down the line of actors and actresses, your eyes stopped on the tanned, curly-haired young man who played John Laurens and Philip Hamilton. You recognized him instantly from his role of Doody in Grease Live. He had a smile on his lips, just as everyone else did, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

Call it intuition, but you could tell he was upset about something. You wished you had the means to go and talk to him about, but you didn’t have those kinds of connections. You were lucky enough to see the show.

So you just clapped harder and shouted louder, attempting to make your gratitude heard.

As soon as you exited the theatre, your phone was out and you were opening Twitter. You found his Twitter handle quickly while you were muttering to yourself over what you should say. “Great performance? No, Y/N, everyone says that.” You declared quietly. “A show for the ages. What is this, a wrestling match? C’mon, think.”

Then it came to you. You tried not to seem too eager as you typed out a couple tweets.

I love Anthony so much but watching @Jordan_Fisher tonight in Hamilton was so amazing. He’s so talented, and makes an adorable kid Philip.

@Jordan_Fisher the animation that he acts with is totally unmatched from any other show I’ve ever seen, and that’s all Broadway shows.

@Jordan_Fisher I’ve never cried from seeing a performance, but seriously, you made me cry numerous times. Reynolds Pamphlet, Stay Alive, etc

@Jordan_Fisher I can’t wait to go back

You knew you probably seemed like a crazed fan, but once you started typing, you couldn’t stop. You let every emotion that he’d made you feel that night embody itself in those four little tweets. You hoped that they would brighten his night. He deserved it.

Monday came around faster than you’d hoped, but you decided to take the day off from work. Your job could be crazy stressful; a deadline here, a meeting there. You were all caught up on your work, and even a bit ahead of the game, so you didn’t think twice when you called in “sick”.

You noticed that you had a few Twitter notifications, so you unlocked your phone once more and opened the app. You gasped when you saw your notification tab. You couldn’t believe it.

Jordan Fisher liked every single tweet from last night.

A smile took over your face as you saw his reply:

@Y/T/H I can’t thank you enough for those sweet words. Truly.

If this wasn’t the best start to a day, you didn’t know what was. You had never, in a million years, thought that he would see your tweets in the midst of all his mentions, let alone reply. This made your day. And quite possible your life.

Of course, you didn’t know what to do with this information except repeat it to yourself over and over again with a grin splattered on your face. It was like you were in a dream that you never wanted to wake up from.

You got up from your bed and did your morning routine in a daze, a grin plastered on your face. You hummed one of Jordan’s songs as you showered and made up an embarrassing dance number to go along with it as you were making breakfast. After a particularly daring move (which totally didn’t cause you to almost fall), you went to grab some coffee from a cabinet, but there was no sign of coffee anywhere.

You didn’t let that get you down though. You decided to get dressed and take a small walk down the street to get buy some coffee from a nearby grocery store.

As you strolled down the street clutching your coat closer to you as the wind blew, you saw a figure hunched over near a door. You looked closer, seeing a man who was attempted to pick the lock. You’d been through this ordeal before, locking yourself out, so you felt bad for the obviously freezing and annoyed guy.

You neared him as he groaned and kicked the bottom of the door in defeat, “Stupid door.”

“You know, you should probably call your super.” You advised. “They should have a spare.”

He didn’t think twice about answering a stranger as he stood up straight, looking up at the sky. “I locked my phone inside.” He shook his head as he threw his hand in the direction of a window. “Left it on my bedside table.”

You tilted your head as you thought you recognized his voice. It sounded awfully familiar. He wasn’t fully facing you, so you thought about what you could do to get him to turn around. “Well,” You started, “You can borrow mine, if you like.”

He spun on his heel to face you, and you couldn’t believe your eyes. To be frank, he couldn’t believe his eyes either. Of course you were standing in front of Jordan Fisher, how could you not have known? And you? You were the girl who tweeted him the sweetest of praises the night before (which was a horrible day, he recalled).

“It’s Y/N, right?” He asked, his cheeks red (from the wind, obviously).

“Um, yeah.” You sputtered. You were taken aback; you didn’t expect him to be on a first name basis already. “How did you-”

“You tweeted me!” He said eagerly. He quickly noticed how excited he seemed and stuffed his hands in his pockets, trying to calm down a bit. “I was having a bad day yesterday. Stuff with my family back at home, and tour planning. Not to mention I was running late.” He rambled. He looked down and away, struggling to meet your curious eyes, “Basically, I was having a terrible day. Your tweets, they just reminded me why I love my job, why I love performing every night.” He found himself getting lost in your eyes as he spoke. “For you.”

You blushed and looked at the ground, not believing that this was actually happening. When he realized what he said, he immediately started stammering over his words, “I mean for people like you! Not you, specifically. Not that I don’t think you’re-” He stopped as he noticed you giggling at him. “I swear I’m normally cooler than this.” He told you.

“I’m sure you are.” You laughed. “How did you get stuck out here anyways?”

He pointed to a trash bag on the sidewalk, “Went to take out my trash and left my keys on the table.”

“Smooth move.”


You retrieved your phone from your pocket and handed it to him. “Call your super. Then we can talk about how much cooler you normally are.”

He chuckled nervously with his head bowed and thanked you. You leaned against the brick wall and waited as he made his call. His eyes widened as a sigh of relief fell from lips, “Thank God! Ben, I’m locked out.”

He paused for a second and furrowed his brow, “What do you mean, how? I left my keys inside.”

You giggled once more, only covering you smile when Jordan turned and gave you a playfully poignant look. “Alright, when can you come unlock the door?”

The frown on his lips was contagious as you watched him let out an exasperated sigh. “What am I supposed to do until then?” He asked. After mumbling an okay, he returned your phone, obviously upset with his current situation. “What did he say?” You asked.

“He won’t be able to unlock it until tonight.” He answered glumly. He cracked a small smile as he looked up at his window, “You wouldn’t happen to know how to pick a lock, would you?”

“Sadly, no. My criminal skills are subpar.” You answered, delighted that you made him chuckle. Suddenly, an idea came to mind as you perked up, a smile on your lips. Jordan looked back at you with a small amount of amusement in his eyes, “What?”

“I was going to go to the store to get some coffee and then head home to eat breakfast. You could join me, if you want.” You offered. When a smile started to break on his lips, you began to ramble, “My place isn’t too far from the theater either, so you could just walk down there at your call time. Or I could drive you. I mean, that would be a waste of a gas, it’s like a ten minute walk, but-”

“Y/N!” He stopped you with a chuckle. “I’d love to join you.”

You grinned shyly as beckoned for him to follow you. When he got to your side, you bumped shoulders with him, “I’m normally cooler than this, I swear.”

“You think you’re funny, don’t you?”


You both laughed and started to walk back towards your house. You stopped at the corner, waiting for the light to change when you remembered the coffee. Jordan looked at you, containing his laughter, when you spun on your heel and looked in the opposite direction. “The grocery store is definitely that way.” You chuckled.

“I wasn’t gonna say anything.”

You were surprised at how well you two got along. You’d always heard that meeting celebrities could be a huge let down, but Jordan didn’t even see himself that way. He seemed extremely unaware of the talent that he possessed, and you made it your duty to let him know. You talked about everything from the passion he put into the Stay Alive reprise to the musicality of each and every song on his EP.

By the time you both arrived at your apartment, he was practically begging to hear more about you. “There’s not much to say.” You told him as you opened your front door. “I work in communications at an advertising company. I make people look good.”

“And you don’t think that’s interesting?”

“It’s interesting enough.” You chuckled. “Coffee?”

He nodded and sat down at the island in your kitchen, watching you walk back and forth. It was fair to say that Jordan was developing a crush on you, and he was easily becoming nervous over it. He knew that when he had a crush, he immediately lost any coolness he usually possessed and became a sputtering fool. Lucky for him, you were the exact same way, so he had nothing to worry about.

As you approached him with a plate of food and a mug of coffee, his head turned to the side. “Do you hear that?”

You furrowed your brow, “Hear wh-”


He got up and followed the noise as you giggled at him. When he got to the doorway, he stopped then turned left. Once he was sure it was coming from that direction, he pointed down the hall and dramatically started walking. As you laughed, you never realized how silly and playful Jordan was. It was almost like he was an overgrown child. “Don’t do anything creepy!” You called after him.

“Oh no, you’ve foiled my plans!” He returned sarcastically.

“I’m just saying,” You said, “Normally, strangers don’t just go roaming through people’s houses and - Are you singing?”

Jordan’s voice got closer as you chewed on a piece of bacon. You sat confused, jokingly asking him if he was going to serenade you. “I don’t think you need me to do that.” He responded.

“How are you singing and talking at the-”

Much to your despair, Jordan was standing in the doorway with your portable speaker in hand, a smirk on his face and his EP playing from the device. You slapped your hand onto your face as you groaned. “This is so embarrassing.”

“I appreciate the support, really.”

“Don’t make fun of me!” You defended as you went to retrieve the speaker from him. He held it high above you head, laughing as you reached for it. “I was really excited, okay?” You whined.

“Of course.” He grinned. “I just think we should take a moment-”

“Jordan, give me that speaker!”

“And appreciate how well the universe did-”

“I will tackle you, Fisher.”

“Putting this day together - Oomph!”

He hadn’t thought that you were serious when you said you would tackle him. You landed on top of him with a grin on your face as you retrieved the device. You sat up, one leg on either side of Jordan’s waist, and turned off the music with a cheer, “Victory is mine!”

After the laughter died down, you were both painfully aware of your position on the floor. You gasped as you stood up and offered your hand to him, which he graciously declined due to his sweaty palms. “I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to, uh. You know.”

“Yeah!” He stuttered. “I totally get it. You weren’t trying to.”

You both stood awkwardly in front of each other, nervously chuckling over your physical encounter. Jordan didn’t know what got into him though. He didn’t know if it was the innocent look in your eye or the way you nervously bit your lip to refrain from saying something stupid, but he had to do something. Just to make sure he wasn’t dreaming.

“Do you, uh,” He started. “Do you mind if I try something real quick?”

“I guess not.”

That was all he needed to cup your cheeks in his hands and press a soft, sweet kiss to your lips. Before the kiss could go any further, he pulled away with a smile on his face, “Yup, you’re the one.”

You were confused, but the grin on your lips didn’t show it. “What?”

“My mother always said I’d know the girl of my dreams when I kiss her.” He breathed. “I just kissed her.” You giggled as he pecked your lips again and again. Your stomach was so filled with butterflies, you barely registered that you’d mindlessly agreed to go to dinner with him between kisses. When he finally pulled away, you narrowed your eyes at him playfully.

“Was that a pick up line?”

“It was good, wasn’t it?”

The Nail: June 2017

The Nail isn’t about perfection. It isn’t about award-level contenders. It’s about seeing focus and effort and hard work radiate off of the screen. 

The Nail’s purpose isn’t to highlight genres of fics or specific ships written during a certain time frame - the sole focus is quality.

Character dimension. Writing with clever readers in mind. Solid world-building. Tension through boundaries. Crazy crisp dialogue. Incredibly tight plotting. Big emotion.

And though yours truly - nice to meet you, new folks, I’m Nash! - is editor of the list, the goal is for YOU to curate the content. 

Read more about how all this came to be, find past editions, see what factors are considered when constructing the list, and learn how to get your recommendations in HERE.

Now - on to the stories!

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Breath of the Wild has made me love Zelink ( and Zelda ) all over again


Like the last time I felt this hyped about a Zelink was for Skyward Sword.

But seriously: this is the first time Link hasn’t been the player’s “ avatar” ( I.e. You don’t name him like in others ) no you are playing as LINK.

He has amnesia yes but he’s still ( in my opinion at least ) one of the most charming incarnations- he’s a glutton and has no problems showing it -he shows his displeasure in certain weather conditions- that one shrine up the mountain on the great plateau oh that poor baby if you didn’t manage to get the warm doublet (… like me I didn’t know about the cabin trick whoops XD ) and he’s just so CUTE!

But in one of Nintendo’s most brilliant storytelling moves yet because how else was a huge open world supposed to work in a coherent Zelda story- as more and more memories are found the player begins to see the bond that was there between Link and Zelda- and how it evolved- despite her being absent in physical form the entire time of your play through- her presence is everywhere- even as you ride through the fields her theme plays - reminding Link ( and the player) of your ultimate goal.

Save Zelda. Help her defeat the calamity once and for all and free her from her self imposed prison.

In Skyward Sword the player felt the same drive - Zelda was your childhood friend whether or not it was romantic was still left to the player to decide - the avatar of Link ( or whatever you do chose to name him) - not so in this game.

In this game the memories progression showed Link came to care for her as she came to care for him: whether forced upon them or not at first nonetheless this Link and Zelda likely again with the exception of Skyward Sword spent the most time together- Link following and guarding her albeit from a distance at first as befitted his duty as her “chosen” knight and champion.

But after the incident with the Yiga things changed- the memories become less tense and awkward: upon discovery of Zelda’s diary in Hyrule Castle more blanks are filled including an answer to the one complaint I’m always seeing now about BOTW.

“ Link never shows emotion!”

Of course he doesn’t. Nintendo finally gave us an answer to Link’s “ muteness’ that not only makes sense but also humanizes this ” Link" more than most if not all incarnations.

He doesn’t speak because of the burden he has to bear. He keeps it to himself so he can be a rock it seems- he can do his duty and not let emotions get in the way of that.

But there are times he DOES show emotion albeit stony and awkward ( and to be honest I don’t think that was due to graphical limitations I think it was done on purpose)

In the final memory of Zelda’s Awakening as she holds him in her arms weeping he does or at least tries to comfort her in my opinion- it’s a brief moment but it’s poignant nonetheless: it even looks like a small attempt at a smile before he slumps over- again whether it was intended to be seen as romantic on his end will likely never be revealed but the player will find out Zelda “ had eyes only for her knight” by listening to Kass’s final song and frankly that’s the most “ Zelink” esque piece of dialogue I can think of. Link is perpetually called Zelda’s knight in both memories and by NPC’s in the game: there is no way that could be some random knight never shown or spoken of until then- that’s not Nintendo’s style.

So is it canon Zelda had strong feelings if not had fallen in love with Link by the time of Calamity Ganon’s return. No. It’s never outright stated in those words. Can it be strongly supported by evidence in the game however? Yes.

Did Link have feelings back? I believe there’s evidence of that too yes- who knows what the DLC story elements will bring but it will never be canon or official because of Nintendo’s stance that Link is “ still” the player and in BOTW he wasn’t. We were playing as Link as we would be playing as Cloud, or Sora or any other RPG hero. Because I would argue Breath of the Wild COULD in fact be considered an RPG in some ways.

But this wasn’t a case of Link being “ us” - this was a case of Link being well… Link. The story demanded it. And the story delivered. I think it’s a great direction for the series to take and if Nintendo just finally gets rid of the whole - “ the player is Link” mentality that lets face it hasn’t been accurate since Ocarina of Time then they can bring the Story telling to new levels and that doesn’t mean just canon romances or such- that’s not what Zelda’s about- but in humanizing Link giving him emotion, likes, dislikes and even fears - deepening his character it would mean much more could be done for developing other characters.

And this I think Breath of the Wild managed to do- you just had to look around to find it.

two blogs, part 9

“I haven’t actually checked so I don’t know if it’s part 9 or not. but I swear fellowship was shorter.”


Frodo woke to find Faramir bending over him. For a second old fears seized him and he sat up and shrank away.

`There is nothing to fear,’ said Faramir.

‘Is it morning already? ’ said Frodo yawning.

In my head this looks like a really badly acted thing where every time the camera cuts back to Frodo he has an expression totally unrelated to the one he had last time you saw him. Like [shot of Frodo, terrified] “no it’s okay” [shot of Frodo nonchalantly yawning, sitting up again for some reason even though he sat up in the last shot] What I’m saying is that this weird disjointed narration is great. Urgh I did a whole paragraph and we’re four sentences in.

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anonymous asked:

do you know any good movies/series tgat portray gay people or follows their life whike being closeted or coming out?

  • gbf: basic and over-the-top but it’s funny and light-hearted and touches on some good topics on being closeted and gay in high school while being friends with the Straights™
  • but i’m a cheerleader: lesbian classic it’s about a girl who’s sent to a conversion camp but falls in love with a girl there ofc .. p funny and not gloomy it’s a very bright aware film
  • blue is the warmest color: The Lesbian Classic™ of our generation … the main character is closeted in the beginning while she’s in high school and it’s a very real poignant look at the feelings idk man the french have something
  • different from the others: alrighty so this is a silent film but hang on here with me … main character is a violinist who falls in love with his student (ignore .. they’re consenting adults) and a blackmailer threatens to expose him as a homosexual, and a lot of it is flashbacks of him realizing he was a gay, and no spoilers but it gets deep and heavy fast.. honestly it’s gorgeous film here’s a lil look at it to see what you’re getting into
    • if u like ^ then i recommend michael (1924) ! not about coming out but i would die for carl theodor dreyer films and it’s really good

So it turned out that Lovecraft talked like that all the friggin’ time.

My coming to New York had been a mistake; for whereas I had looked for poignant wonder and inspiration in the teeming labyrinths of ancient streets that twist endlessly from forgotten courts and squares and waterfronts to courts and squares and waterfronts equally forgotten, and in the Cyclopean modern towers and pinnacles that rise blackly Babylonian under waning moons, I had found instead only a sense of horror and oppression which threatened to master, paralyze, and annihilate me.

There are only so many things you can refer to as Cyclopean before it stops being a meaningful descriptor, H.P.

I’ve been following gelasticat (follow them for quality homestuck arts) because their art is gorgeous and I’m kinda wryly amused at the stupidity that follows them around because people keep forgetting that trolls’ lips are canonically black.

But that got me thinking - trolls lips are black. Like. Solid black. And then they have lipstick. Kanaya specifically uses lipstick. The quality of pigment in their lipstick needs to be pretty fucking intense, considering their lips are black.

I now want silly rosemary fluff where upon Rose tries Kanaya’s lipstick and makes a mess of herself because there’s jade. Everywhere. And it’s thick and vibrant and holy fuck it will not come off.

I don’t know, I am a sucker for makeup messes and fail cleaning up as part of a domesticity trope.

I just want Rose sitting in the middle of her room, surrounded by clothes and stuff smeared irreparably with jade, staring at the camera with a “I have made a terrible mistake” expression on her face.


Vera Jo Reigle (24) was brutally murdered on the night of March 26th, 2011. Her naked body was beaten and covered in stab wounds and left on the train tracks in Findlay, Ohio.

The crime was the conclusion to one of the most heartbreaking and infuriating stories I’ve heard about in the last few years. Vera was disabled and had the mental capacity of an 8 year old. Her father raped her when she was 11, and she never got along with her mother.

When she was 19, she started a relationship with Zachary Brooks, who was 13 at the time. A year and a half before her death, they had a child, so Vera went to live with her boyfriend’s family. 

The Brooks are a well known crime family in the area. Their leader is Cheri Brooks, mother of 9, a really frightening woman despite the fact she’s on a wheelchair. Five of her kids were taken away at some point because of sexual abuse and neglect. One of them, Michael, actually compares their family to Charles Manson’s, so you can get an idea.

When they took Vera in, they basically turned her into the house slave and cashed her disability checks. Vera was often tortured and beaten. Two months before her murder, police showed up at the house and found Vera covered in bruises and with a broken nose. But she didn’t know better, so she accepted her horrible living conditions.

The night she was killed, she was lured by Daniel Bixler, a cousin, and his 17 year old girlfriend Nicole Peters. Daniel had recently got out of jail and was staying at the Brooks home. Police arrested them quickly, they confessed and were convicted.

That’s just the tip of the iceberg. Vera’s murder is a really complex crime orchestrated by a woman who should be in prison. And it all came to light thanks to filmmaker J. David Miles, who went to school with Cheri and Vera’s father and made a documentary about this story called Goodnight, Sugar Babe. It’s a tragic, shocking and poignant look at the truth behind the lies. He managed to interview pretty much every member of the Brooks’ family, including Cheri herself. I recommend it to anyone who wants to see a really good true crime documentary.

Cheri (52) is now facing trial for drug trafficking charges.

mingyu || when she gets insecure after finding out that he actually likes her sister

Originally posted by gyuwoo

this idea just popped into my head while i was in sociology class lol. apparently, this scenario partly mirrors my life because i have an older sister who is super pretty that leaves me insecure whenever she’s around me.

request here (click!)

pairing ; mingyu x oc
genre ; angst
rating ; pg thirteen
word count ; ~1.8k

“It’s funny how you ended up dating Haeri when you’re actually after her sister.”

Hoshi’s words felt like blades puncturing through her heart, leaving it shattered to irreparable pieces on an icy cold ground. She was breathing, but she felt so dead inside. Her head grew blank like a white canvas.

She was broken.

Her whole world fell at her feet. Her mind was in the chaos of her own destruction. She was a mess, a wreck.

Her eyes slowly veered towards the east side of the hallway and she saw the almost replica of her own – Han Haera, her older sister.

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Okay I literally cannot get over how perfectly the lyrics of “Baby Blue” fit Jesse and Walt’s relationship at the end of Felina. No one can tell me it’s meant to be interpreted as anything else.

Guess I got what I deserved
Kept you waiting there too long, my love
All that time without a word

Walt certainly did get what he deserved by finally dying. He kept Jesse waiting at the neo-nazi compound too long. If he’d known what they were doing to him, he would have come back sooner.

Didn’t know you’d think that I’d forget or I’d regret
The special love I had for you, my baby blue

The obvious interpretation is that “baby blue” is the meth itself, which it totally is. But if we’re gonna go all literary analysis on this shit, then Jesse is also baby blue. They’re so thematically intertwined. Walt loved them both, and really it’s Jesse that he left, Jesse that he did wrong, Jesse that he wanted by his side, and Jesse that he wants to be okay after he dies. What I’m saying is just replace “Dixie” with “Jesse.” 

All the days became so long
Did you really think I’d do you wrong?
Dixie, when I let you go
Thought you’d realize that I would know
I would show the special love I had for you, my baby blue

Here I’m just thinking about all the long days Walt spent in New Hampshire, and how in the end, he really did show Jesse the love he had for him. Yes, he did do Jesse wrong, and he did let him go, but I think in the end Walt feels somewhat redeemed after saving him. 

What can I do, what can I say?
Except I want you by my side
How can I show you, show me the way
Don’t you know the times I’ve tried?

This bit is fairly self-explanatory, through everything that’s happened, Walt has always proven in the end that he wants Jesse by his side, even in wanting Jesse to be the one to kill him.  

Guess that’s all I have to say
Except the feeling just grows stronger every day
Just one thing before I go
Take good care, baby 
Let me know, let it grow
The special love you had for me, my Dixie, dear

This is what I imagine going through Walt’s head as he and Jesse exchange that final poignant look before Jesse gets in the car and drives away. There are no more words between them, they’ve said all they ever could say to each other, the bond between them is unspoken. 

Walt knows he’s going to die, and I really think all he wants now is for Jesse to take care of himself and to remember what they had together. Deep down he knows that there was a time Jesse loved him, and I think he wants to believe he was worthy of that love and that for once in his life, he did the right thing.  

Reylo Exchange Fics I’ve Loved (So Far!)

I know it’s a little daunting looking at 56 (!) new fics. Again, I’m strongly encouraging everyone to go through them all, if you can — think of it like a buffet! Pace yourself and try a little of everything. There’s every type of fic, every type of rating, all chockful of Reylo goodness. 

Although I love every single fic I’ve read thus far — I’ve gotten through about 30% of the collection — here are some of the pieces (one-shots, very easily digested) I’ve really liked that are presently underrated (<30 kudos): 

This Darkness Which You Know You Cannot Fight” — Rey grapples with the Dark Side. Not full-on Dark!Rey, but a whole lotta Rey struggling with that inner darkness we all know she has.

One Thousand and One Nights” — Beautiful take on Rey and Kylo slowly growing close as he tries to heal after coming back home. This one will break you apart and put you back together again by the end of it.

Ex Nihilo Nihil Fit” — Senator Ben and his secret lover/bodyguard/Jedi Rey. One of my favorite AU dynamics with this ship, and one we don’t see enough of. 

Shadowed” — Long after Kylo makes it back to the Light and builds a life with Rey, he still has to face down his demons when she mentions the possibility of children. A poignant look at an often-glossed over challenge with some great Bloodline references.

Home Is…” — Delightful domestic fluff while still staying true to character and realistic. Rey and Kylo start to build a life together: little and broken, but theirs.

These are just for starters. Again, every piece in this collection is excellent and worthy of your attention. As I make my way through the rest of the contributions, expect more recs, more squeeing, and more badgering all of you to read, like, and comment. :) ♥

Book Review: 13 REASONS WHY by Jay Asher

“You can’t stop the future
You can’t rewind the past
The only way to learn the secret
…is to press play.”

According to Hannah Baker, there are thirteen sides to every story. And there are thirteen reasons why she swallowed a handful of pills, and left this world for good. When thirteen tapes show up on Clay’s doorstep just two weeks after Hannah–his classmate and crush– commits suicide, he’s intrigued. Then he presses play, and his life turns inside out. Hannah Baker is back, but only to explain why she left. But if he got the tapes, that means he is one of the thirteen reasons why. Throughout the course of one night, Clay travels through his hometown with Hannah’s voice playing through a Walkman, and nothing will look or feel the same again. 

This book has been out for a while– a decade, to be exact. And it’s slated to come to Netflix as a miniseries (of 13 episodes, surprise!) this year. It took me a while to get around to this one, because it’s usually not the type of book I enjoy. It’s a dark subject; that much is clear from the back cover alone. But the premise was captivating enough to make me branch out of my comfort zone on many levels, and I’m glad I made the trek. 

Though the entire novel only spans about one day, a remarkable amount of development and plot occurs. This is arguably Hannah’s story: her tapes, her voice, and her reasons. However, everything is perceived through Clay’s first person present tense narration, and her words create a second storyline, which is Clay’s journey to accepting both of their roles’ in the other’s lives, and how he’s going to live after her. With such a gripping, to-the-point tone underlying everything– whether it’s Hannah’s tapes or Clay’s realizations– this book is a quick and meaningful read. I’ve heard complaints that 13 Reasons Why romanticizes suicide, but I personally take the opposite stance. From my perspective, this book was a poignant, honest, and unforgiving look into mental illness, sexual assault, and social issues. (**However, as someone without suicidal tendencies, it’s certainly plausible that I’m totally misreading things, so to speak!) 

Controversies aside, as a fiction piece, it’s still a remarkably creative and revolutionary approach to storytelling, even ten years later. 13 Reasons Why is sure to be considered a literary classic for generations to come.

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reason #53 why I cried in the bathtub today: the deleted scene from “Mac and Charlie Write a Movie” where Charlie gives the monologue about how his main character feels about sex

Like, for such a goofy show, Sunny is so goddamn poignant. You cannot look at Charlie Kelly and tell me he’s not asexual. You cannot look me in the eye and tell me that Rob, Glenn, and Charlie don’t write their characters with that level of astonishing, heartbreaking detail. You cannot call all of those character traits, that childlike fear of being broken, a coincidence. You cannot call that irrelevant.  

There need to be more asexual Charlie posts. Talk about it forever. Shout it from the rooftops.