A healthy friendship will never force you to compromise your own values, your own passions, and your own little joys. It will always be there for you to inspire you in acting on the things that make you special, unique and most of all worthy of love.
—  Juansen Dizon, A Healthy Friendship

Maybe I’m not sad,

I just accepted

that good feelings

never last.

And so are the bad ones // ma.c.a

Aries: You need to learn to accept things as they are. The glory days may have been golden, but we’re still here. There are still good times to be had. You just need to focus on the now. Focus on what could be.

Taurus: You will find recovery again. You will get better. This darkness has to end at some point, right? The sadness will fade like it always does. There will be better tomorrows, we just have to get through the bad today’s.

Gemini: You’re more than the sum of your past. More than people who made you. More than the people who gave you those scars. You have every right to be angry and hurt. But you also have every right to grow beyond this.

Cancer: The hard memories will pass. The bad times will pass. Things will recover again. Things will level back to normal again. We will find calm. You just have to breath through this. You can survive anything 5 minutes at a time

Leo: Where’s your back bone? Where’s your fire? I need to see that fight in your eyes so I know we can survive this. I need you right now so please. Don’t give up. You are a true warrior my dear.

Virgo: Stop circling backwards. Stop opening up doors to your past every time you get lonely. Stop going back to something that never brought you any good to begin with. Stop returning to the scene of your greatest crime.

Libra: You’re not a dead body stop acting like it. Stop laying there and just letting shit happen around you. Stop just accepting the way things are. You’ve become complacent. Don’t let them take the one thing you always had. Don’t let them take your will.

Scorpio: lay down your weapons. No ones trying to hurt you. Maybe lower your walls a little and let someone else slip in. We just want to take care of you. We just want to make sure you’re good. We’re not the enemy here love. Never were.

Sagittarius: be careful, sometimes reputations are well deserved. Sometimes someone warning of bruises is just trying to avoid you getting hurt. Be careful who you listen to and trust, not everyone is as they seem.

Capricorn: let go of your pride and stubbornness for once. Stop hiding behind excuses and step up. I know it’s scary. I know it’s hard. I know the darkness is swallowing you whole. But it’s time to step up. Time to stand.

Aquarius: You can’t grab on to something new if you keep clinging to your past babe. You keep looking behind you as if there’s some secret to life back there. I promise you you’ve learned every lesson. I’m sorry they aren’t here to still teach you. But you will pull through. Eyes forward

Pisces: are the ghosts to much for you to? It’s okay to admit. You’ve got a lot of skeletons in your closet. A lot of friends and family in graveyards ya know? It’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to miss them. We’ll sit in the darkness till you’re okay to come home

Sweetie, if one day

the world forgets

to remind you

how wonderful life is,

I hope you’ll have

enough courage

and wait for the sun

to rise up again.

A single spark can light a fire // ma.c.a

Aries: you burned your past to the ground. Let the bridges and homes you destroyed light your way out of town. Was it worth it? I’m not judging. Just asking

Taurus: not getting to succeed is not failure. Sometimes letting go of your dreams is the healthiest thing you’ve ever done.

Gemini: I am proud you survived. You should be to. The demons that keep trying to kill you have not won. Will not win. I believe in you.

Cancer: Those scars didn’t end up there by accident. They like the tattoos are stories of all the things you survived. Wear them like a badge of honor.

Leo: You did good kid. You did really good. I know you don’t hear it enough and I know me saying it won’t be enough. But you did so god damn good. I am so proud. You should be to.

Virgo: I hope you get your life together. I hope you are happy even if we never get to talk again. I hope things go easy for you. I wish you nothing but the entire world on a string.

Libra: just because people leave doesn’t mean they want to. Just because your reality breaks doesn’t make it your fault. You are trying so damn hard. I know.

Scorpio: you are not defined by the labels they stuck on you. You are not what they tell you you are. Make your own way. Fuck them and fuck the judgement. They will never understand what you survived

Sagittarius: The Graves we’ve filled of people we’ve lost pile up this time of year. Another birthday another reminder of darker times. It’ll get better

Capricorn: stubborn to a fault you cling to your ignorance. I know the world is cruel and I know the world is scary. But you have razor sharp teeth. Just use them on something other then those who love you

Aquarius: They can’t get to you anymore. Stop running stop hiding. Your brain lies to you so much. They aren’t around every corner. You are safe here.

Pisces: No good thing deserves a blood sacrifice. If you find yourself bleeding repeatedly over someone then it’s time to walk away. I’m sorry

This weeks zodiac

I survived by
telling myself

‘I’ll kill myself tomorrow
but not today.’

I kept putting it off
for days and days and days
with the hope that the darkness
will leave my body one of these days.

and some days,
it leaves and some days,
it stays.

I’m still surviving
and that’s the sad truth
and maybe I’ll kill myself tomorrow
but not today.

—  Juansen Dizon, Magic Mantra

Take a deep breath, darling. Remember that there are some things you just need to let go, no matter how strong you refused to.

Hoping your heart will feel wonderful moments someday// ma.c.a

you cannot save me from myself,
because my demons cannot love you.
my demons do not go around the hallways looking for you,
my demons cannot swim in your blue eyes,
my demons do not find the desire to touch you.
they can’t, they’re not human.
so please,
quit trying to save me. 
my demons and you will never be friends.
—  incompatibility. 

How would it feel like

to live in a world

full of hope,

not in a space

that’s surrounded

with souless faces.

Have you seen kindness? // ma.c.a

My friend told me that the boy she’s talking to has been ignoring her for 17 hours. It made me laugh because she was so precise about the timing but it also brought back flashbacks. The days I’d be anxious and desperate for him to reply. I’d sit and wait and check my phone hundreds of times, only to be met with silence. I’d check if his Snapchat score went higher, wondering who he’s talking to and why he hasn’t replied to me. Am I too boring? Is he with friends and too ashamed to text me in their presence? My mind would race with all these possibilities and I was so naive to the truth: he didn’t like me. It took me half a year to come to the realization. A boy who truly wants you will make it known, don’t settle for anything less.

Things I wish I had known