poetry mix

sext: people died for you.
I bet you liked it.

sext: they say Helen’s was the face
that launched a thousand ships
but she’s got nothing on you.

sext: good men took up arms and you
torched a city to the ground.

sext: But, oh, the roar of victory.
You must have been so proud.

—  HOW TO MAKE LOVE TO THE GOD OF WAR, by Ashe Vernon
Shout out to the mixed kids who never felt close to the cultures they come from. Shout out to the mixed kids who don’t know the native language(s) at all or fluently and get shamed for it. Shout out to the mixed kids who were never really immersed in their family culture(s) and their for don’t know anything or very little about where they come from. Shout out to the mixed kids who felt connected to one side of their culture than the other(s). Shout out to the mixed kids who get shamed for wearing or celebrating something unique to the culture(s) because they “don’t look like they’re from there/like that race”. Shout out to the mixed kids whose own family called them “fake”. Shout out to the mixed kids who never felt like they belonged.
—  To me and the “fake” mixed kids

Before I start, I’m gonna check my privilege as a US citizen.

But this isn’t about me as a US citizen, this is about mixed status families. this is about the reality that for some of us, being together isn’t a right anymore, papeles or not. there won’t be a time where my mother, my father, my sisters and me will find ourselves together in a room - my papeles won’t give us that luxury. My papeles give me the privilege to see my mother three times a year, but never with my father, never with my sisters - this is what a mixed status family looks like, always in pieces, always in parts.

Mixed status families look like a cold winter with only one cobija and the inability to share, not because you don’t want to, but because the government doesn’t let you, because the government hasn’t felt cold before.

Mixed status families look like only one of you getting to meet your grandma before she passes, because papeles can’t stop time, can’t stop our loved ones from growing, can’t stop them from leaving to find peace on a side where borders don’t exist.

Mixed status families look like fear, for all of us, all the time.

Mixed status families look like papi hoping mami comes home, mami hoping papi will come home, sisters hoping they’ll know what home looks like, they were too young to know, dreaming of a land where survival was accesible.

Mixed status families is never truly feeling whole, never truly feeling complete, because a part of you, is always…missing.

—  Mixed Status Families

You said you thought about me often
More than you’d like to admit
Darling, you consumed my thoughts whole
An obsession driving me mad

You said I was beautiful
But my love, you are all the beauty in the world to me
Your flaws make you authentic & divine

You said I was yours
But you are the key to my soul
Not just mine but the only one
Connecting with me on levels humans could not create

You said I was your world
But I found a galaxy in you

—  The difference between you & I

you know when i started out my journey

i had no idea i was starving 

i just thought overeating meant you were too full of something, that you had to take something out of you in order to make it go away

but turns out i was hungry

i was full of food but starved a love so rare i forgot it existed

because for me it has only existed when the summers heat turned to honey and he touched me. without food, without him i didn’t know a love could exist.

beyond. beyond. beyond. 

the boundaries of this love are tricky because they extend beyond the time space we know of.

i am not quite sure where it ends

but i know like a flowers contribution to the ocean

self love has no boundaries to whom it may affect

it will show you your relationship to the stars + to the moon

it will show you that they didn’t mean it,

they didn’t have self love to guide them 

to see the universe

the universe inside you

inside “I”

inside this world

inside itself

they didn’t know how to not hurt.

but now you will see how big self love can get

now you see its bigger than you 

the world, the universe, the flower, the ocean need you to just love yourself


WHEN YOU REALIZE YOUR BEAUTY YOU UNDERSTAND YOU NEVER NEEDED TO CHANGE

6

Poetry Palette 

A play on makeup and poetry, I created 6 personal interpretations on the universal emotions for everyday wear and tear.

1. Sadness: I really miss the days when I knew what I was doing.
2. Fear: The loneliness has left me wild.
3. Pain: How long can I last when the gloves are off and I’m taking all the punches?
4. Disgust: Guess I’m alot like wisdom teeth; Stupid enough to stay where I’m not wanted, smart enough to not go out without a fight.
5. Contempt: This Damn City keeps breaking my heart.
6. Joy: You’re worth more to me.

Poetry by star light

Aries

she’s falling through the atmosphere
shattering onto the earth like cascading stars
scattering stardust fresh from heaven
a baby at war
this is just the beginning
she is completely out of control
untamed and inspiring
a ruby glow inferno
i will never let you go
she spins her lucid Alice in Wonderland
imagination into a live playground
spiraling down the chorus of cosmos


Taurus

a crown of flowers wrapped around her head
the sweet perfume of daisies
dripping down her neck
she inherited a palace
a dainty treehouse in the woods
and she would sit and drink tea
and read books like she should
good night
and sweet women, gourmet, and wine
serenity and life
there is a kingdom inside

Gemini

every time you open your mouth I see fireflies of luscious
language flow forth like radiating confetti
like that golden helmet on your marvelous mercury mind
…i see you wield words like they are ingredients in spellbooks
and you feel alone with your thoughts
and you don’t know what’s louder, the world outside
or the chaos within
the madness created by your twin
and you write invitations with your mind
to birthdays that lead to wonderland and poetry tea mixed
inside ~
i can hear and see and feel your voice everywhere


Cancer

she writes poetry on sheets of moonlight
with a pen that pours out ink from the whole
night sky
it’s her creamy words made of moisture beads and dreamy
composition, she can create an orchestra
with lunar lyrics and love notes written by the stars

everything i see in the world
it all comes back to you
because you are my mother, my lover
my daughter and my sister
i can hear the stars whisper
stay wild
my dear
moon child

Leo

if i was a psychic i’d say to a leo that their heart was carrying too much weight.
i’d say you are so involved in the moment that i can hear
the violins of your heart playing and you leave it wide open
and that this is your curse and your gift.
i know you go home and you can’t stop leaking
you can’t stop leaking
the gods are watching you crying
but those tears that fell down the cheeks of great leos like napoleon, max heindel, amelia earheart, helena blavatsky and carl jung
are the ones glistening from your eyes
the gods know how marvelous you are ~ even when you can’t shine

Virgo

shaking and rapidly exhaling, don’t crush your wings
against the weight of your own mind
they were so perfectly, pleasantly, patiently crafted
like the way you use your hands to delicately
thread and rewire and repair
they are like instruments the way they touch everything and leave a
frosted glaze
i always know when you have been because
you leave nothing behind
like you want to be invisible

Libra

she rises from the aroma of a flower
dainty as a forest fairy, honorable as a warrior
fighting for the cause that captures
her musical heart
she’s always on the threshold of a fairytale
she is some delectable mind and figure of
abstract beauty to behold
life is her dance
across cards gently placed
she twirls on imagination and spins in reverie,
a performance of abstract movement,
a tightrope display, a true portrait of balance
and artistry


Scorpio

I want to destroy these monsters
But devastating them
destroys a part of myself
I feel more alive in the shadow
than the light
I prefer the creaking hollow in my bones
to the noise of people, the static, the show
I have been violated
by poisons from hidden valleys
I have been stung by leaking ink
dripping dark words from unconscious levies
Sometimes my body is just a floating
Trying to contain century’s memories
Between my legs the monsters crawl
Trying to perforate every part of me
And I was only just becoming used to this skin 


Sagittarius


she hears wisdom from the mountains
and songs from the sea
she sings the music of every language
and tastes of every herb and spice
something is sultry and glowing in her gaze
she is sunkissed and filled with dreams
that seem written constellations
her mind has wandered everywhere
it has left footprints in every valley and
book, every mind and philosophy
she is like sunday everyday, a vacation
a getaway
a sail into the horizon, a cruise through the stars
a freefall into nature’s arms

Capricorn

look how much you’ve grown
i’ve seen you slowly fill in those eyes
that belong to an old soul
i’ve seen you stretch into those bones
that were always too big for you
and you keep waking up every morning
because you know one day you will be
rewarded
you hold onto the knowing that
things will get better
and you will feel less sicker
and your work will finally be done 

Aquarius

you try to read your own puzzle like a book
with a magnifying glass
as if you are disconnected
on the outside staring in
you are not an abstract entity
i feel you
your body pulsates like electrons exploding
like bubbles of blue foam
your feelings are turquoise crystals over the sea
never tainted but reflecting shades and hues from
unknown galaxies
don’t hide what was crafted so exquisitely

Pisces

there were times she stayed in bed for days
i couldn’t touch her without her bleeding
she had third degree burns
every sense hurts
then she would laugh with god
or angels or something invisible
i am not dealing with a girl
but something magical

Cherry

Our love was like a glass,
filled to the brim with a mixture of
oil and water.
Instead of accepting the inevitable,
I spent day after day and
night after night
trying to get us to mix…

Then you decided you were tired of watching me try.

—  The shards of the broken glass still poke my heart when I breathe.