It happened in a breath. In a tight, wheezy, gasping, ice cold breath, it was all over. What had once been a part of my life for so long had been disintegrated, it had been beaten, broken into pieces, and the remnants of it was burned to ashes and blown away. What once existed between us did not just end. We had a life together and that life hadn’t just died, it was murdered and we were left standing over it with our hands dirty. It was so quick. One minute we were so much in love, swimming in the deep and affectionate feelings we had for each other, and the next minute we were sitting in a concrete pool with all the water drained and nothing left to do but walk away.
I still remember how it started. You hurt me. You debated if you could be happier with someone else when I had never even thought it was possible for me to be happier than when I was with you. You broke my heart and although I forgave you after awhile, my heart was never healed. I couldn’t forget what you did to me. I became someone else, someone trying too hard to be okay and it made me cold and you didn’t really care. I aspired for revenge and I got it and I broke your heart just like you had broken mine. You hated me and you hated the fact that you still loved me even more. You got back at me and I brushed it off. We feared the idea of change and we strangled the life out of our love by trying so desperately to hold on to it.
You left over and over again but you always came right back until I finally told you to stay away. But like a magnet you continued to draw yourself to me, and like a magnet I repelled you. I put up a barrier even though I knew how broken and weak I was. I refused to give in. I’m still not sorry and you know that. I’m not sorry I removed you from my life but I am sorry I made you cry so much. You made me cry too though and sometimes when something reminds me of us, I still cry. But I don’t miss you and you don’t miss me. We miss who we used to be and when we think about our demise it only hurts because we didn’t see it coming.
— “I wrote this 4 years ago, 3 months after we said goodbye.” (Weshallprevail)