The sun sets slow over England
As Virginia and Charlotte and I
Glide softly and steadily through fields,
Watching church spires coalesce,
Fields blur into beautiful emerald.

How old is a river, a stream, a wood?
My heart leaps at the sight of a calf:
Urged to identify with one so young,
So naive of this ancient love as I.
I read some more of these pages in earnest:

I hope to learn from those who have
Tenderly tread this path before me,
Their footprints in the snow my guide.
But we are not white - we are no Angels
We tumble out of Eden, pen and paper in hand
A fig to your feathered wings: my poetry gives me flight.

—  Ode to ‘a room of one’s own’ ✨

I am only a child
fooling around in my skin,
caught between
white plaster walls.
If they were stone walls
I’d be gifted
with the emotions
of sunlit honeymoons
and the sweaty hands
of our distant ancestors.
I know nothing
of their magnificence
or magnitude,
yet I feel an earthquake
in my muscles
as I listen to the silence.
This vacuumed silence
is a powerful
droning voice
that whispers to me
on the periphery of
waking day
to not awaken.
I hear myself cry out
in the transitional realm
to these stone walls,
“What embodiment
do you take?”
And my spirit
bursts into sporadic
C O L O R S
too naked and earthy
for my puerility.

Word to my future daughter(s):

GOD
Always put Him first.
Ask for forgiveness everyday;
whether you think you need it or not, we are never perfect.
PRAY!
Inform others of how great our God is.
Read His Word every single day and execute what you’ve learned.
Don’t make the same mistake I’ve done and blame Him for the bad things that happen, it’s a test of your faith. He only wants what’s best you, so talk to Him whenever you need anything. Our prayers are never left unanswered.

Men
I’m going to tell you a few things my own mother taught me:
Don’t ever let a man make you reevaluate your amour-propre.
Don’t ever let a man disrespect you in any way, shape, or form.
Set boundaries. Let him know exactly what you will not tolerate because a man will only push you as far as you let him.
You make the rules, baby.

Unconditional love
Whatever choices you make in anything I will support you 100%.
Whoever you choose to love I will not judge you. The same advice I gave you for men applies to women as well.
Some things I may not agree with, but I won’t ever stop you from doing what your heart is telling you to.

Sex
Sex is a sacred bond that you share with the person you love.
Don’t go looking for love in all of the wrong places.
Don’t let anybody force you into doing something you are uncomfortable with.
Don’t be afraid to ask me questions, I am an open book.
USE PROTECTION!!!

Life
Things don’t always go as planned, so live in the moment.
I want you to experience all of the things I was setback from because of fear + anxiety.
Take risks.
Do not hold grudges.
Be forgiving.
Most importantly, be yourself. Don’t let others influence you to do what’s in trend just to fit in. You’ll leave a far bigger impact if you do whatever you want.
It’s okay to not be okay. We all have our moments.
Don’t feel bad for stating your opinion.
Help others in need.
It’s your life, make the best of it.

1. I miss the way you’d write secrets with your tongue on my bare skin in cursive at 5 a.m; secrets that only these sheets & we know.

(2. Falling asleep in your arms was the salvation I never knew I needed.. Your love gave me something to believe in.)

3. All the nights you fell asleep inside me made up for the long nights you weren’t beside me.

(4. Waking up to the sun reflecting off your chocolate eyes was worth the countless sleepless nights; it was a privilege to get lost in the radiance.)

5. It was quite the sight, watching you walk away- our love was like living in a Summer daze, I can still see the swirls of butterscotch in your eyes & taste the caramel on your lips, drizzled on mine, like the perfect sundae.

(6. The days slipped away & summer ended & turned into winter & so did we.. I never once felt the sun leave my heart even through the rain & the snow. I would have weathered any storm for you.)

7. Do you remember that night on the beach? We made a bed out of the sand & a sheet, the moonlight flickering off our bodies.. after that, I knew I’d look for you in the waves every time I went back.

(8. I look for you every where I go, I search & search the countless faces that pass by, in hopes that just one has the same color eyes.. I still remember those flashes of yellow that reflected off the sand & ignited the fire between us that has yet to die.)

9. I’ve tried to find your smile on every boy I’ve let into this room after you but they’re always too crooked or too forced… they’re just not yours, but in the dark, their hands dance across my skin, just like yours did but no matter how many lights I turn off, it’s not your voice bouncing off these walls.. I miss you.

(10. It’s the type of missing someone that hits you when it’s 10 a.m & you try to pour your coffee & the color after you add creamer is too close to his skin. It’s the type of missing someone that suffocates you & the only way to breathe again is to imagine inhaling his scent. It’s the type of missing someone that you live with forever.)

—  Sexts’ from a poet. // (collab with lifeascolleen )

A poem for the one who loves her now;

be gentle with her.
Be gentle as you put back
the pieces of her heart that I broke.
Take in the way she looks in the morning,
the way her auburn hair
tumbles past her shoulders.
When she tells you
she loves you,
tell her you love her more.

Dont ask questions when she cries for no reason,
let her cry. She has seen more heart ache than
most people her age. Remember this on her bad days.

Never take her for granted,
because when shes gone shes gone.
Love her like she deserves,

before someone else does.

—  love her // ahn

I am a doormat.
I am the welcome mat you barely see but walk right over.

I am your doormat
go ahead leave your dirt on me.

I am your doormat
leave me out in the cold.

I am your doormat
go ahead shake me clean because you’re having company.

I am your doormat
I am raggedy and torn.
Go ahead, replace me.

—  I am. I know what I am. by (KJ)

A SERIES OF TEXTS:

(1/5)
i hope you keep me around. i mean, i’d like to stick around. i love you so much i’m sorry i’m so hard to be around.

(2/5)
i know i stopped answering with long paragraphs of how you remind me of sunsets and how much i love you. i’m sorry, it’s just really hard for me to get out of bed right now.

(3/5)
i lost my breath somewhere in the distance between us, will you walk to me and pick it up on your way here.

(4/5)
did you get lost? do you need me to go find you?

(5/5)
i haven’t stopped looking. i still love you.