poeticals

It’s hard to convince myself I don’t need someone by my side anymore.
For 5 months of my life I had you, to talk to, to love, to be loved by.
You consumed so much of me, took over so much of my life and without you so much was taken.
Your words were taken. Your body. Car rides curled into your side. Sleeping in your arms. Talking until late at night. Seeing each other in the morning. Getting into trouble together. Summer nights with all of our friends. Loving together.
The absence of you in a sense was the absence of me. You took pieces of my life that I thought had been set in stone.
But it was all temporary, you were temporary.
—  v.m
There is no rain or storm surrounding you, because you shine stronger than any other sunshine.
—  @melwowz

Smash your body against the walls
again again again
thudding until the outside looks as broken
as the inside feels until your
bones are as blue as your bruised soul.
Throw yourself from the bridge just
to feel [for a second] like
summer and freedom and a sparrow
on its quest for summer,
until you shatter like a porcelain doll like
your mother’s fine china like
your grandmother’s crystal.
Crack open your ribcage to check
if your bullet-ridden lungs still work
and stop the blood flow with a flower stem.
Search for bird nests and beehives
and try to taste spring
try to taste April showers
taste dandelions and lemonade
maybe if you stuff yourself full
no one will notice the empty chasm behind your eyes.

~ christie

A touch all too familiar,
A voice, an embrace that would stand by Heaven’s gates.
Her faith, unwavering.
A smoke too intoxicating,
A gulp, consuming.
She,
Was the only one.
The life of him,
And the hereafter.
—  a.y.

and you’re on my mind
and i’d like to talk things through
i can’t quite name the taste
on my tongue
nor the sigh that escapes 
my tired and frail lungs.
but i do know that
this song
is what i feel
it’s what i pray
it’s what i write on my arms
and whistle in my clogged shower
where the waves of soapy water lap
against my ankles.

you’re on my mind
and i’d like to talk things through.

Beauty is fleeting as a moment caught of symmetry/goodness/pleasure/subjective perspective & lighting-
But Beauty is lasting despite its evidenced transience:
It’s the knowing of aspect otherwise unnamed,
The presence & senses’ delight in a felt influence-
It’s the trick of perception that sees what could or should be
And wonders of what is beyond what seems or is seen!
—  Absorb life-
Like rain from/in a sponge, who knows when its source will dry
& cease any more from sharing of its passing brevity
You.

Do you ever feel something so strong it’s as if it’s consumed every aspect of your life? It’s like every sentence, every word, every thought revolves around this feeling which has surfaced. I’m lost in you and I can’t find myself anywhere. People are beginning to notice and I’m trying so hard- believe me- to find any sliver of what used to define me in pieces of anything that I once treasured. But all I see are memories of a little girl who couldn’t love herself and so, in turn, put her love into things containing even the smallest glimpses of happiness. She couldn’t appreciate the true beauty of herself and so hurried herself in hobbies and obsessions. Now she has lost those things which once occupied her busy thoughts and in turn, she feels as though she’s lost herself.