It sucks.

Being so close,

But knowing,

I can’t.

Can’t kiss you.

Can’t hold your hands.

Can’t just hold you.

It feels like I’m holding my breath.

Waiting.

But waiting for what?

I guess that’s the question.

I see you,

Your polite conversation,

The shy smiles,

Infectious laugh,


I see you,

The shadows behind,

Pain buried underneath,

Tribulations of the past,


I see you,

Dark corners within,

Secrets tucked discretely,

Put safely away,


I see you,

The beauty the world sees,

Having it all together,

Keeping the world at bay,


I see you,

Scars underneath,

The unexplored depths,

Unheard dreams,


I see you,

The strength to carry on,

Desire to love,

Desire to please,


I see you,

Tracks left by tears,

Wanting to collapse,

Not looking back,


I see you,

Wanting to stand,

Wanting to be held,

Not wanting to crack,


I see you,

Passion filled,

Love overflowing,

The joy and the dark,


And I see you,

Good and bad,

Wanting every piece,

For time everlasting.


~ B.T.

the innocent

whatever happened to the innocent?

the ones who only knew how to love, and be loved.
the ones with hearts too big, bared upon their sleeves.
the ones with minds, ignored in favor of soft lips and long hair.
the ones who tried harder than anyone, to be happy, safe, innocent.

whatever happened to them?

alex.

I remember the feeling of the lava burning the bottom of my feet.


The skin peeled off with every step
that I walked toward the crusty soil.
It never did stop my movement for a
time when my feet were not overcome
with the immense pain that was around.


I can hear your voice screaming
that my own idiocy was the reason
that my wit was below my gullibleness.
Scorched, tired, and naive was the feelings
that I held beneath the core of me.


I remember the feeling of the lava burning the bottom of my feet.

Oh, yes — I remember it so well. 
It was the day I began to join my brethren
in the insanity of the mild and free. 
It was the day that the molten liquid
caressed my pale skin and turned it
into the redness that only fire can condense.

—  diandra

He kissed my lips and touched my face,

I tried to hide my sudden distaste,

Because as nice as he was,

And whatever my friends say,

I’m happier when I’m alone,

So alone I shall stay.


-I refuse to rely on someone else for happiness

Once

Fever forced me to strip naked
Under the transited sun
Baring the skin of my kin at this altar
Wedded to wood I’m waiting for the shot
Pull the bow and strike with your arrow
Bullseye.
Heyday strapped upon the marshes
Come closer nymph, summer’s chill starts to penetrate my body
Gluttony of desire slapped your common sense
All we know in this moment is erotica
The raw pulse of our undersides
Blissful blasphemy uttered when heaving
Oh, the screaming speeding the coming of cum
Bless our sin.

-R.J.Thani