poems i used to know

10

And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.
I was a child and she was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea;
But we loved with a love that was more than love-
I and my Annabel Lee
;  - Edgar Allan Poe

I just want you to know I’ve realized things. I loved you. Really loved you. But you can’t keep doing the same thing over and over until you hurt me, even if you don’t mean to. And I’m tired. I’m tired of having to forgive you all the time. I hope you learn from this. You can’t just love someone and leave them hanging. You need to prioritize them, love them, give them time. You did those, but they didn’t last. It turned out all that was left of you was a shadow. I was loving a shadow of a man I used to know.
—  hanzelwrites
I know I used to live without you but that was before I knew the brown speckles of your eyes or the softness of your lips. Before your laughter became my favourite sound and your smile the brightest part of my day. That was before I fell in love with you. Now you’re a part of me like the blood in my veins or the air in my lungs and I need you just as bad. I can’t imagine a day without you and I hope I’ll never have to again.
Everything I ever write to you starts with I’m sorry, but I have nothing to be sorry for. It wasn’t our fault, we never wanted it to end this way. For so long I thought you didn’t care, that you never did. I know now that it was the complete opposite. What I am sorry for is that our timing wasn’t right. Maybe if the leaves weren’t falling and the world was alive instead of dying we could have been right.
—  You’re never going to see this but I want you to know, I forgive us// 4am
Prompt

“Voices trickled in my head

Imprinting madness as they spun

Laughing as they cast a spell 

That could never be undone.

Their melodies were distorted

But the best I’d ever heard

They mesmerized me with the way

Truth laced their every word.”

When I Was A Boy

Jaxon, 14, FtM

When I was a boy

They’d always call me she.

When I was a boy

I was never a he.

When I was a boy

I had dresses galore.

When I was a boy

Emotions seemed to pour.

When I was a boy

I was never accepted.

When I was a boy

I was considered defected.

When I was a boy

I looked like a girl.

When I was a boy

My reflection made me hurl.

When I was boy

I didn’t seem to fit in

When I was a boy

I was ashamed of the body I was in.

Here I am now

Still a boy but always hidden.

I am a boy

Just not in their eyes.

I am a boy

Just a boy in disguise.

@dying-and-alive

It still shocks me sometimes, the way I was so ready to love you. I was eager, longing to do nothing but please you. You dangled all of these words and promises in front of my eyes, as though they meant as much to you as they would have to me. I dressed my heart in silk just because that’s the way you wanted it before you touched it, and I willingly tore down every wall I could see just to let you in. Every fragment of choice was in your hands because I trusted you with them, and when those hands took mine a world of possibilities shone clear. Pushing you away now, there’s still a starving desire to ask you to pull me into your chest the way you used to, to tell you to kiss my forehead and make the pages stop turning in the book we couldn’t write. But that’d do me no good, and I know it. Almost nothing is worse than a nightmare disguised as a dream.
—  🖤

                          t  h  e   c  u  r  s  e   i  s   c  o  m  e   u  p  o  n   m  e


                                              | ankou!france x ghost!england |

Dysphoria

by Kaiden, FTM

Here comes a thought, And happy doesn’t describe it, But sad doesn’t either.
It’s the type of feeling that never leaves, The type of feeling that doesn’t subside.
It feels like needles in your skin, Leaving a sting. Like hot metal dropping in cold water.
The thoughts never seem to leave. When I look in the mirror and I’m shocked By what I see, what is that supposed to mean?
When walking in the halls I feel like two people: My soul and my body. Why do i feel like this?
It affects my mood, My sleep, my appetite. All thoughts piling up in my head like paperwork Causing all the others to instantly vanish. 
I walk through life as two people: What everyone sees and who I really am. On day the two will merge but the question is:

Would everyone accept it that way?

There goes thought. It might alarm you but i’m fine, I just need time to think. 
I just need time to get lost in thought. 

“Is it hard letting go of him?”
It is. And it’s not just because I miss him. Because who he is right now isnt who I miss. I don’t know who he is anymore. But its hard letting go.
Because I had this person who became a huge chunk of my life,a person who lit fires in the darkest parts of my soul. And then he was gone.
The fires burnt out and now I have a gaping hole in my heart.
And thats why it hurts to let go,
It happens in stages really,one day I found myself laughing at how pathetic I was for ever loving him,but the next day I was on the floor of my bedroom begging God to bring him back to me.
I think if anyone has ever experienced heartbreak,you know how hard it is to do things without that person. It’s literally way too hard than its expected,and its also pretty hard to accept it.
Its also hard to grasp the fact that the person you grew to love is now a stranger to you. You don’t talk to them anymore but you hear about them and your stomach clenches and I guarantee you,it doesn’t feel good.
Im sorry to tell you this but,you’ll probably always have a spot for them in your heart,the hole they made can be filled by them,and only them.
I truthfully don’t think I will ever let go of him fully either.
—  It’s the hardest thing you’ll ever learn to do

Waves crash down
From the beach
Grains of sand flow
That i’ll be here with you
Forever more, forever more, I crow
My heart beats fast In this moment, time has collapsed
Your eyes, like sunsets, rise and pass
Vines entangle my heart
Grasping, stretching, reaching
For my inner treasure, at once, I know
Forevermore, forevermore, I crow
Solemnly swearing, I can’t wait
To be one at last
Entwined, together, yet apart
The crow doth still lark
Forevermore, forevermore, I crow
How do rainbows taste
That which we do not know
Logical it may be, water is wet
And yet, and yet The Lark cries, for it does not know
Forevermore, forevermore, I crow
Dusty ash fills my lungs,
The spark has caught ablaze
And all at once, I am in flame
The phoenix rises, a Lark no more
Forever more, foremore, I crow
 Ti amo, Ti amo
Nothing saves me now
Your eyes ablaze, like fireflies
Softly I feel their glow
And I know, that you and I Forevermore, forevermore, we crow

6.10.16

“It is so weird seeing someone who you once cared so much about after a long time. They’re the same, but they’re different. You see them, and there’s no longer that spark that you used to feel every time you even had a simple thought about them. And it’s awkward. Here is this person standing in front of you, or passing you by, and you know every little thing about them, every single detail. Except that they feel like a stranger now, and you’re not quite sure what to do. So you offer a small, awkward wave or hand motion of some sort, maybe even a small half-smile, and you keep on walking. In the other direction, out of their life forever. And as you walk away, you think how–at one time–seeing them would have lit up your whole day.

And now it’s just weird.”

-@healthyhappiness15

I miss the days when it was easy
I miss when I could talk to you whenever
I miss seeing you every week
I miss the times when I was sure
Sure that things were going to work out
I miss you saying you love me
I miss you waking me each morning
I miss the feel of your arms around me
I miss when “we” were “us”
—  But now I’m breaking

yourareunearthlything  asked:

for the fic prompt meme: 25. “My nightmares are usually about losing you.” silverflint (kill me with the angst Gemma ♡)

Ack, sorry dear, I don’t know if this is as angsty as you would have liked (although lbr anything set during canon has angst inherent). Coming at you with some more of that weird, intense intimacy! Hope you like it! Set after 3x6


“My nightmares are usually about losing you.”

Flint finds Silver right where Madi said he’d be – lying in a private hut, alone, attempting to glare his pain into submission and failing.

Silver glances up when Flint arrives. He looks startled, and exhausted. “When did you get back?”

Flint approaches the bed, trying to keep his features unconcerned. He’d been on the last boat launched from the Walrus when they made it back to Maroon Island. Even from here, he could hear his crew outside the hut in camp, where they’d been talking and eating and settling in for almost an hour now. He needs Silver focused and able for the days ahead, but he also needs him not mad and defensive. “Not long ago,” Flint says. “How are you feeling?”

Silver’s face changes. The bleary-eyed weariness melts to anger as quickly as dusk becomes night. “I fucking told her not to tell everyone –”

“She didn’t tell anyone,” says Flint. “She told me.” Madi is a smart woman, who knew when to pick her battles, and this is something Flint would have figured out on his own anyway. “Answer my question.”

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