Raw With Love

little dark girl with
kind eyes
when it comes time to
use the knife
I won’t flinch and
I won’t blame
you,
as I drive along the shore alone
as the palms wave,
the ugly heavy palms,
as the living does not arrive
as the dead do not leave,
I won’t blame you,
instead
I will remember the kisses
our lips raw with love
and how you gave me
everything you had
and how I
offered you what was left of
me,
and I will remember your small room
the feel of you
the light in the window
your records
your books
our morning coffee
our noons our nights
our bodies spilled together
sleeping
the tiny flowing currents
immediate and forever
your leg my leg
your arm my arm
your smile and the warmth
of you
who made me laugh
again.
little dark girl with kind eyes
you have no
knife. the knife is
mine and I won’t use it
yet.

My dear,
Let us be nothing,
Let us remain as nothing,
For nothing is the only thing that lasts forever.
—  Let us be forever

We were warriors, you and I
swallowing sunlight every morning
like it could protect us
from our own hearts,
and the hell we let spill from our mouths.

We should have known
at the start of this
that souls like ours are just supernovas
and we can’t outrun ourselves.

We should have known
that our swords
were always swinging
towards each other’s chests.

When i call you at 3 am just to say i miss you the only thing you said was “you only miss me when you are drunk” i wonder if you remember what you said to me in that party of march when you was so wasted and you said you loved me for the first time and i said that’s not true you are so drunk… You look at my eyes and said “Alcohol give you the courage to do all the things you wanted to do while sober”
—  I still love him