pocketcontents

A booty call?

Hmm.

Let’s think about this for a bit.

Begin giggling…

Take a breath.

Giggling turns into uncontrollable laughter.

Take another, deeper breath.

And then the weeping begins.

But bless your heart for thinking that, Leah.

  • Short Skirt Long Jacket
  • Cake
  • Comfort Eagle
Play

Cake - Short Skirt, Long Jacket

Happy Birthday, Leah!

I chose this song for you because if anyone in this world has fingernails that shine like justice it would be you. Also: fast, thorough and sharp as a tack. 

Love you, woman. 

OK. BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING, MOM… I GOT THE IDEA FROM ONE OF YOUR MOVIES. TECHNICALLY, I’M SEVENTEEN NOW SO YOU CAN’T BE MAD THAT I WATCHED IT.

EVERYONE WAS FULL FROM THE TURKEY AND IT’S NOT LIKE I WASN’T GOING TO THROW IT OUT WHEN I WAS DONE.

WOULD IT KILL YOU TO KNOCK BEFORE COMING IN?

pocketcontents replied to your photo: I understand why someone would do this It is an…

AYFKM? Thats insane! Is that unique to Australia?

Australia, like a lot of ex-commonwealth countries, runs off the Torrens title system, where a register of land holdings is maintained by the state. The short version of which is that the land is and always will be the property of the crown, and one purchases the title to that land. This provides the title holder with certain rights and claims … however, the land, and thus the “Land use zones” are defined at state and local government levels called “planning schemes” and for the most part, these are fine. The problem comes when local councils are run like businesses and can only function from the income they make - which is in the form of property tax or levies (called “rates”) charged to title holders. Of course, residential rates are often higher and, thus, when forced to make a decision, like all good businesses, they tend to err towards the highest paying customer’s view of right.

This doesn’t mean you can’t appeal or take it to another body … but as with all such actions, you may win the battle, but the war cost you more than you won.

I saw these comments on a puninspired tweet I wrote and posted here, earlier today. And it seriously made my day. I know, it was for a tweet in which I “confused” Testicles with an ancient Greek philosopher. But still.

As someone who went to college for writing but never got an opportunity to do it for a living, I’m just happy when people actually read any observations, jokes, or commentaries that I write. Before social networks, unless you were published in a literary journal or got a paid writing gig, college would have been the end of the line as far as others reading anything you wrote.

But here, I can write a remark about the Amish still deciding to practice “Don’t Ask, Don’t Telephone” and know that at least 48.72 people will probably see it. And that’s pretty fucking rad!

Okay, I promise I’m not having a drunken “I love you guys!” moment. Haven’t cracked open a beer. Yet.

re: pocketcontents / btothed post

20 years ago, started it exactly the same way … after the first few years, stopped being weekly and added expensive scotches or special limited editions once a month … now I barely buy anything more than once in a while - either to replace something or because I really want it … though room is a problem.

pocketcontents replied to your post: At least the bird didn’t wretch a few times while yelling at the dog. The smell was thick and ghastly pungent. I’d switch places with that bird about now.

See, the key is to go back in time and birth a teenager you can insist wash the skunk-doused animal. Oh, also, birthing, um, gonna need to be a chick to do that. Wow, this is getting complicated. Maybe shoot the dog?

Well, the birthing thing would also mean that I have a vagina which takes care of a major issue I have at the moment, being that I have no vagina handy. Handy vagina, and all I have to do is travel back in time to the zygote stage, manipulate the hormone wash to give me one, and then birth a teenager some years later to wash the dog? 

It sounds far simpler and straightforward than my ordeals right now.