pocket-bitches

Look at this COMFY ASS bitch. She’s strolling around the airport looking hella FRESH-FACED like she just got out of a 8-hour long massage at LA’s premier spa for Hollywood’s effortlessly beautiful up-and-coming actresses BUT NO she’s at the FUCKING AIRPORT. And instead of showing up in stained XXXL sweats and a beanie because WE ALL DO THAT, she decides she’s going to show up in some trendy ass 50% normcore 50% comfycore outfit and she’s NOT EVEN WEARING JEANS SHES WEARING SOME PERFECTLY CUFFED STRAIGHT LEGGED PANTS PROBABLY WITH WELT BACK POCKETS CAUSE THIS BITCH IS CLASSY AF. NO SKINNY JEANS HERE BECAUSE SHES ROCKING THAT NEXT LEVEL COMFYCORE.

AND WHAT OUTFIT WOULD BE COMPLETE WITHOUT DOPE ASS LEATHER CPs. LOOK AT THEM. THOSE ARE SOME WELL CONSTRUCTED BEAUTIFUL SHOES. A STREETWEAR MINIMALIST’S DREAM. A NORMCORE FUNDAMENTALIST’S RIGHT HAND SHOE.

LOOK SHE EVEN WEARS THEM OUTSIDE BECAUSE FUCK THE DIRT AND GRIME THAT JUST GIVES THEM CHARACTER. EVEN THE FUCKING DOG IS NERVOUS THAT ADC IS FLEXING MAD HARD IN ITS PRESENCE IT CAN BARELY KEEP UP. GOOD LUCK DOG NEXT TO THOSE PERFECTLY CUFFED ANKLE PANTS YOU BETTER STEP THE FUCK UP.

My poor dash

is in the middle of warring metas on TAB…

*clears throat; mic squeals, spot-light focuses*…

In one corner we’ve got Johnlock…IT’S ALL GAY, BITCHES!

In another is Sherlolly…DID YOU HEAR HOW HE SAID “HOOPER”? SHE’S THE ONE THAT COUNTS, BITCHES!

In yet another corner we’ve got Adlock…HE’S KEEPS A PICTURE OF IRENE IN HIS POCKET-WATCH, BITCHES!

In the final corner we’ve got Sheriarty…THEY WANT TO F*CK EACH OTHER’S BRAINS! GUNS=DICKS, BITCHES!

And then we’ve got Mystrade over at the concession stand….SQUEEEEEEEEEEEE! THEY STOOD NEXT TO EACH OTHER, BITCHES !!!!!!!!!!!! As they all hug one another, sobbing snottily in glee.

Ahhh fandom shipping. It’s a beautiful, f*kt up thing.

[Kim] Hello?
[Girl] Hello, Is this Lil’ Kim?
[Kim] Who’s this?
[Girl] Don’t worry ‘bout all that..I found your number in my man’s pocket
[Kim] Well shit bitch! Give it to him then! No wonder the motherfucker hasn’t call me yet! Look at your fuckin’ groupie ass…Stealin’ numbers and shit  [Girl] Wha? Fuckin’ bitch! I’m gonna see your ass at the motherfucking concert

Domestic Snowbaz
  • Simon, on the couch in his Pjs eating a scone: Baz can you vacuum the floor?
  • Baz: I just did yesterday!
  • Simon: I got crumbs on it
  • Baz: but you already at a scone this morning...
  • Simon: and? You already drank three rats as of yesterday and what do I see hanging out of your pocket? Yeah. Fucking clean bitch.
concert tips for girls

go to goodwill or savers

find the mom jeans section

try on some in a color you like

feel those huge pockets? 

90′s bitches had it good

buy those rockin ass mom jeans

go home and cut that shit up into appropriate shorts length

cuff the edges and sew them so they stay up

congratulations you now how kickass high waisted shorts with huge pockets

put all of your shit in those pockets for the concert you will attend

i once carried my ticket, three sharpies, my money, ID, and keys at a show

all in my POCKETS

Guwop and Yeezy follow up on ‘Champions’ with Pussy Print. 

“And I only featured Kanye
Cause we both some fuckin’ narcissists

Narcissistic tendencies with psychopathic pockets, bitch”


 Pussy Print" is certainly one of his strongest releases in this period, as Mike Will Made-It’s slithering wall of sound brings out the anger in Gucci” -.via Hot New Hip Hop

“Flowing over the beat effortlessly, both of the rappers deliver solid verses that do justice to the hypnotic production. It’s not the flashiest song ever made considering those involved, but that’s what makes it enjoyable. It’s not quite what we expected, but it certainly lives up the potential of such a collaboration” - via PigeonsandPlanes  

Made with SoundCloud
My idea of humor includes a shit load of sarcasm with a hint of evil, so please keep you’re sensitivity buried deep down in your pocket & laugh bitch. Bitch laugh.
—  Funny Mean Girl