pocket-bitches

A drive to remember

OK I am attempting something new here…smut. (I know.) This is my entry for @queen-of-deans-booty and her celebration for hitting 1k followers - you should totally go check her out! I picked the classic trope of truth or dare/never have I ever

Word count: 1,618

Characters: Reader, Dean, Sam

Warnings: SMUT, oral (female receiving), heavily implied oral (male receiving), talk of past sexual encounters, alcohol, drinking games, mention of injury to character, one or two swear words, sassy as fuck reader

A/N: this is the first time I’ve written a proper smut scene in a fic so I’d love some feedback on how I did?! Also always practice safe sex people!

A/N 2: if I’ve tagged you and smut isn’t your thing I apologise! And to everyone if you’d like a tag in future work just send me an ask/IM :)


“Never have I ever had a threesome.”

Smirking, you lift your bottle to your lips.

“WHAT?!”

Shaking your head, you laugh at the incredulous looks on both boys faces.

“What? I was young, it was college.” you explain.

“Sammy went to college and you don’t see him drinking.” points out Dean.

“Yeah, but Sam was dull in college. No offense.”

Sam’s response is one of his patented bitchfaces.

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4

With the snow falling down around you, wet and sticky, you pulled your half-drenched coat around your shoulders and listened as your feet slapped against puddled pavement… It wasn’t that you didn’t like the snow - winter wonderland and all that jazz but this was damn near akin to rain and it had a way of sinking bone deep every time the partially melted flakes touched against your skin.

“You look kind of miserable…” Ray chuckled after he pulled his hood up; his eyes cutting toward the dirty slush coating the streets as a car zipped through and splashed it onto the sidewalk.

“How could you tell?” You joked, shoving your wet gloves into your coat pockets.

“Well, your resting bitch face looks pretty… resting.” He replied with that spacey grin of his, which managed to make you snort though a small laugh. “Want me to put a smile on your face.”

 At that you let out puff and glanced upward to see the city lights catching and reflecting through the falling flakes before saying, “Unless you and your suit can stop this gross weather, I’m not sure that’s possible.”

“I’ll take that bet.” And in one quick move, Ray wrapped a light grip around your forearm, his touch warming even through your wet clothes, causing a shiver to vibrate up your spine as he dropped on his knee. It took you about ten seconds after he’d fished a small, tell-tale box out of his pocket to really put it together; your gloved hands instinctively shooting toward his face to run a cold, wet touch along his jaw. “Will you marry me?”

With your head now bobbing frantically, you felt your lips pull into a bright grin and without thinking, you bent forward to kiss him senseless.

(X) (X) (~♫♪~)

*Imagine Ray Proposing to You*

@rutherfxckerreally cute christmassy way (if that makes sense) to the reader? And also - I check this blog a lot (especially for Harry 😍) and it always cheers me up, so thank you for doing what you do!!! 

Y'all going to stop acting like Nicki Minaj doesn’t want to collaborate with other female rappers, she reached out to Remy Ma after Remy got out of jail for a collaboration for the PinkPrint in 2014, to which Remy declined because Foxy Brown, who is really good friends with Nicki was going to be on it. If y'all knew your Hip Hop history you would already know that Remy Ma and Foxy had beef in the past. Her Lost. *shrug*

Remy out here spreading lies on Nicki and I’m not having that shit. I got the receipts that contradicts her false claims. Now she talking about Nicki taking money out her pockets, but bitch she was gonna let you earn a nice coin on that record you declined on. I don’t like when people get lied on when the truth is on the internet.

anonymous asked:

“I wish you would write a fic where...” Angus takes lessons from Carey too during the summer of training! One day he tries to steal Magnus’s wallet on a dare from Carey as his last test to see if he graduates from Carey’s super-thief-lessons! Iloveyourblogbye!

(full story under the readmore Iloveyoubye!)


“Alright, now this here will show if you’re ready to be a real thief,” Carey whispered, her ever-hot dragonborn breath warming Angus’s ear.

The pair was crouched behind a bush in the B.O.B quad, Carey had her hand on Angus’s shoulder and her eyes on the prize: Magnus Burnsides.

“I-I’m not really looking to be a thief, ma’am!” Angus whispered back. “I just think that certain aspects of the rogue class lend themselves well to detective work!”

“I want you to bring me his wallet, and replace it with this,” Carey pressed a small smokebomb into Angus’s hands. “Good luck, squirt.”

Angus took a deep breath and focused. Carey had told him he wasn’t allowed to use magic, so the lessons Taako gave him wouldn’t help here.

“Sure you could just magehand their wallet or go invisible,” Carey had said. “But where’s the style?”

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Oath | Ch.23.1 | Jungkook

Genre: Angst | Mafia!AU

Members: Jungkook | You/Reader | Yoongi | Taehyung | Namjoon | Hoseok | Jin | Jimin |

Summary: What if one day everything you ever wanted is taken away and your whole world comes crushing down? If you were to forget today, who would you be tomorrow?

Originally posted by berry852

| Previous Chapter | Chapter List | Next Chapter |

Word count: 3,044

A/N: After a long long time, here it is~ I am sorry for the long wait, and thank you so much for your patience and understanding!!  I decided to cut this chapter into two parts so that I won’t keep you waiting even more (because it would have taken me a few more days to write everything). So here is part one of chapter 23. Hope you will enjoy it~ ^^ 

2 DAYS BEFORE THE INCIDENT

“What do you mean you lost them?! Are you fucking stupid?! You incompetent shits are good for nothing!”

“We are sorry, boss! He saw us coming.”

“Of course he did, you idiot! He’s been a member of the group ever since he was child, he knows how we do things. Don’t ever underestimate him, and cut it with the excuses, they make me sick!”

“What should we do now?”

“What should you do? You should go shoot yourself, you idiot! Bring them here!”

“Yes, sir!”

The sound of the phone hitting the hard wood of the desk covered Namjoon’s low growls. What he hated the most was people failing to do their job, and lately that was happening too often.

“These bastards…”

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on thursdays i have gym first block and we were in the weight room today, and the Straight Boys that try Way Too Hard in gym were jumping over the “vertical jump things” in the hallway outside the weight room. Most of our class had gathered around to watch (and our gym teacher didn’t even stop us, she was just snapchatting it bc shes 27 and of course she was). This one Straight Boy turns to his friend before hes about to jump and was like here hold my phone, then hes like here can you hold this? and pulls a burrito out of his pocket. BITCH!! FIRST block of the day!! a BURRITO!! i’m wheezing i’m never getting over this he had a whole ass burrito in his pocket sis a burrito 

Domestic Snowbaz
  • Simon, on the couch in his Pjs eating a scone: Baz can you vacuum the floor?
  • Baz: I just did yesterday!
  • Simon: I got crumbs on it
  • Baz: but you already at a scone this morning...
  • Simon: and? You already drank three rats as of yesterday and what do I see hanging out of your pocket? Yeah. Fucking clean bitch.
My Thoughts on The Worst Witch: Episode One

I thought this might be fun seeing as this show watches like a poorly done Harry Potter knock-off. Here, have my thoughts: 

  • Ofc we’re in England because where else would magic happen?
  • So this girl can see things that her mom can’t? Very wizard. 
  • Apparently not wizard at all– only witch! No magical men. Right on. 
  • So broomsticks come with spells that repel non-magic folk apparently 
  • and children can get their broomstick drivers licenses???
  • what’s with the secret handshake? Well met, my ass 
  • How lucky is it that this girl can see this school from her flat? Like how weird would it have been if she’d disappeared without saying goodbye to her mom and casually flew to the other side of the country? But now ‘chill mom, I’m just down the street!’ 
  • So basically at this school we have lady-Snape and lady-Dumbledore. classic 
  • Who named these kids anyway? 
  • Maud = Ron/Neville??? 
  • Also unsure if this bitchy little girl Ethel is supposed to be Draco or Hermione??
  • Making a grand entrance by crashing into school property was trade-marked by Harry/Ron circa 1992 btw 
  • HB for Miss HardBroom? More like for HEAD BITCH 
  • A pocket-full of lemon drops? Classic Dumbledore.

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I wasn't done yet. 😂😂😂😂

They like cats that got 9 lives they just won’t quit. They think this a game of checkers and not chess. But they will soon see what game they’re really playing once the other side start moving their pieces.

I believe that Mark got this he’s saying little to nothing for a reason. Never let your opponent know your next move or any of your moves period.

It’s already known that Jacob & his client are working with tmz. They like to play dirty so teaming up with CB’s #1 enemy was the way to go for them. Jacob retweeting/liking Chris’s tweets commenting in post about him on ig he just making things worst on their side without even thinking.

You see Chris was trying to be nice wishing her the best & staying quiet. If Chris hit them with a lawsuit team scammer gonna be begging them to drop the lawsuit offering 2 cheeseburgers like the crackhead on Menace II Society.

I just feel it’s so disrespectful, so disgusting, a slap in the face to the real women who has gone through domestic violence & real heartbreak. For you to make up a bs story about being physically abused and you really weren’t.

She don’t fit into the category of women who’ve been in a bad relationships. She fit into the category of thots chasing after a dollar and fame as Wendy Williams called her.

She got into a relationship with Chris with her mind already set on wanting fame & money. Once she fully got what she wanted she was on the first thing smoking out of there. She never left him because of his daughter. Royalty was just an excuse she used to leave.

Now that she knows that she needs to be more than Chris Brown’s ex girlfriend she’s pulling these stunts & getting her name attached to Chris and Rih’s to stay relevant.

We all know people don’t really like kae they only liked her for that short period of time when she left the big bad abusive douche bag CB as they call him. Then after that they went back to their regular scheduled program. They don’t like her enough to buy up all her makeup line. They don’t like her enough to support her straight to BET movies. Her movies don’t go to DVD cause they not wasting no dvd disc & case for a trash movie.

She knows people like her come a dime a dozen in LA  she’s nothing special. She knows she’s very replaceable. People like her have to pull stunts to say where they’re at cause once they take a break it’s over for them. 

You see people like Chris, Bey, Rihanna and others they have actual talent to keep them afloat in the industry. They don’t need floaties or life jackets to keep them from drowning. Their talent keeps them up.

I feel it’s unfair to people who have actual talent who are out here hustling from the ground up to get in the industry and people like her just get it by default. No talent, no audition, no degree, no nothing. Just a ex of a famous entertainer.

I seen some clips of her acting that someone posted and it was terrible the worst I’ve seen.

Now froward to King CB birthday. They decided to serve him those papers that they probably wrote up with crayons the roseart brand cause I know they can’t afford Crayola. They tried but failed to serve him those shit papers that probably ain’t even good enough to wipe our asses with.

So since that plan failed now she decides to bring the queen Rihanna into her shenanigans. She’s trying to imply that Rih is weak for not going up against Chris. 
The way I see it is Rih’s music career poppin, her clothing line poppin, & she’s doing some more acting & that’s poppin. So if that’s what you call weak then sign me up cause I wanna be weak to.

You see this Asian rat, stuff jaw, boy body, frog toes, Penguin Feet, wanna sit with us but she can’t, fame/money hungry, thot pocket ass bitch wanna squeeze herself in the spot with the real women who’s been through some real things but she can’t. That spot has been filled. “We’re sorry but we are no longer taking anymore applicants not now not ever again” at least not for her.

She wanna fit in with the A listers but she don’t have any of the qualifications to even step on the sidewalk of the building of A listers.

She couldn’t just leave the relationship with what she got out of it she had to leave doing a promo tour called “life of a celebrity ex”. Now that the well has run dry she has this new stunt going on. She has more stunts then a stunt man.

I hope Rih decides to put a lawsuit, gag & restraining order on her scamming, lying, no booty having ass & on her fat Porky Pig ass manager.

When you play dirty not fair trying to scheme and scam your way to fame you don’t win. Their time is up they better find someone else’s life to play with because playing with Chris’s life is over. They’re on their 9th life. I hope they dug their graves deep enough & wide enough for fat ass & her to fall into.

Now that I’m done I wanna send prays and well wishes to Christopher Maurice Brown. Everything will be alright. The most high heavenly father, your family, friends, & fans got your back. Keep your head up champ we all love you. I see greater days to come for you. 🙏🏾🙏🏾❤❤😘😘

Look at this COMFY ASS bitch. She’s strolling around the airport looking hella FRESH-FACED like she just got out of a 8-hour long massage at LA’s premier spa for Hollywood’s effortlessly beautiful up-and-coming actresses BUT NO she’s at the FUCKING AIRPORT. And instead of showing up in stained XXXL sweats and a beanie because WE ALL DO THAT, she decides she’s going to show up in some trendy ass 50% normcore 50% comfycore outfit and she’s NOT EVEN WEARING JEANS SHES WEARING SOME PERFECTLY CUFFED STRAIGHT LEGGED PANTS PROBABLY WITH WELT BACK POCKETS CAUSE THIS BITCH IS CLASSY AF. NO SKINNY JEANS HERE BECAUSE SHES ROCKING THAT NEXT LEVEL COMFYCORE.

AND WHAT OUTFIT WOULD BE COMPLETE WITHOUT DOPE ASS LEATHER CPs. LOOK AT THEM. THOSE ARE SOME WELL CONSTRUCTED BEAUTIFUL SHOES. A STREETWEAR MINIMALIST’S DREAM. A NORMCORE FUNDAMENTALIST’S RIGHT HAND SHOE.

LOOK SHE EVEN WEARS THEM OUTSIDE BECAUSE FUCK THE DIRT AND GRIME THAT JUST GIVES THEM CHARACTER. EVEN THE FUCKING DOG IS NERVOUS THAT ADC IS FLEXING MAD HARD IN ITS PRESENCE IT CAN BARELY KEEP UP. GOOD LUCK DOG NEXT TO THOSE PERFECTLY CUFFED ANKLE PANTS YOU BETTER STEP THE FUCK UP.

Facts

When you go see one of these bitches.
The only things you should have IN YOUR POCKETS:
CONDOMS
CAR KEYS
MONEY (ONLY THE AMOUNT YOU GOING TO GIVE)
PHONE

WEAR CLOTHES THAT YOU CAN PUT ON QUICK.
If need be you need to get the fuck outta there quick

This stuff will lower you chance of being robbed. Cause if you go into the bathroom and she run yo pockets. Bitches get nothing.

Also put your clothing where you can keep an eye on it, this is more important if you get a 2 girl special.

My special interests are comics and foreign media. Within a year, I’ve managed to not only two conferences on my comic book media and the dynamics of gender and romance, but I’m about to present my paper/research project on Korean television and non-Asian women. Still autistic as fuck with weird pocket interests, but bitch, IT’S MY JOB NOW. DREAM BIG, KIDS.

Y'all out of fucking order

First off the situation is out of pocket. A grown ass bitch is sending people to fucking harass me. Bitch out here midgendering me with a fucking trender and attacking me for being a centrist. They sent this little gem

And they 17 year old lackey made a fucking callout calling me transphobic(for calling them a tender) and ableist for saying that if you’re mentally ill and can’t distinguish fiction from reality you her thrown in an asylum. I got more fucking receipts scroll the fuck through.

Sasha & Justin

“I just think it’s funny how you bring this hoe with you on vacation and post a bunch of pictures of her on social media, that ain’t cute nigga. You don’t fucking care, how you gonna kiss that grimy ass bitch” I clap my hands.

“This bitch is a fuckin crab, all up on me and my nigga, I want to send this bitch in a bag to get cremated, she getting that two one piece, I’m not like these valley bitches Justin, don’t get shit twisted cos Imma fuck ha ass up, this bitch think she can fuck my mans like shit sweet, oh oh, this bitch lost her goddamn mind, tell me how did it feel to fuck a dry wall justin, that shit felt good huh?”

“Why were you letting her touch you like that, I know damn well y’all were definitely fucking cos you were fingering her ear and shit, the bitch looks like you, like you that conceded. You nasty, you fucking disgust me, how dare you come up in this house, acting like we good. You fucking becky now, that’s what we doing, how she like tasting my pussy when she was sucking your dick, she just was conveniently flaunting her raw chicken ass around you like she was real comfortable, you dumb, dead ass my nigga.” 

“It was just a harmless kiss, Sasha” he waved in exasperation.

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I went out to dinner tonight, so here’s a 1.2k established relationship Dean/Cas awkward date fluff ficlet. No spoilers. on AO3


Dean takes Cas out for dinner at the swankiest place in Lebanon.

It’s Sam’s fault. Bitch made the reservation and shoved a scrap of paper in Dean’s hand with the date and time, muttered, “No arguing.” Dean spits curses as he irons his suit, shines his shoes, selects the least offensive tie, picks a damn wildflower that he tucks into Cas’s lapel before they get in the car. 

The restaurant is nice. It’s got white tablecloths and servers that speak in hushed tones and individual corded lamps at each table and frigging ice buckets. Cas is sipping a glass of white wine and trying to look excited about it, bottle chilling at his elbow. 

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