pocket check

anonymous asked:

Johnny, popping up behind Max: "How dare you." Max, bewildered: "What????" Johnny: "You stole from me, I can see it in your back pocket!" Max checks said back pocket to find a construction paper heart with Property of Johnny painted on it surprisingly cleanly in white. Max just stares at Johnny wordlessly while Johnny cracks up

SMOOTH OPERATOR

The signs hugging

Aries: Pounds your back to make sure you know how intense their love is

Taurus: Perfectly aligns hearts and holds you tight. A powerful warmth begins to spread through your body. Your eyes well up. A single tear threatens to fall. Then the hug breaks, and the moment is over.

Gemini: Asks first: “Do you need a hug?” Wraps arms around you, holds tight for a sec, then slaps your back in a brolike fashion and awkwardly breaks apart to avoid seeming too touchy-feely

Cancer: Gives and takes hugs in equal measure. Soft, gentle, and warm. Why hugs were invented

Leo: Casual hugs all the time, no biggie

Virgo: Getting a hug from them is like getting a hug from God; you can’t believe you made it to this moment, you must have done something right

Libra: hugs who they want to hug plus EVERYONE ELSE just to be fair so it doesn’t look like they’re showing favoritism or anything

Scorpio: *checks pockets*

Sagittarius: Short hugs, touch-and-go, like they’re about to catch a flight out of the country. Are they vacationing, or on the run? Will you ever see them again? No one knows

Capricorn: You have just sealed a pact of friendship forever, expect them a call from them at 8 pm on a Wednesday night 20 years from now to catch up like you just saw each other yesterday

Aquarius: “I’m not a hugger”

Pisces: Probably initiated the hug

Player:“I want to sneak up to the lizard man and check his pockets.”
DM: “Alright, roll.”
*Player makes some mediocre rolls*
DM: “So you go over pretty quietly and go to reach into his pocket before realizing the prison outfits you were given have no pockets. So instead, you gently caress his thigh. He’s sees you now. He’s not sure how to feel about this.”
Player: “Me neither.”

anonymous asked:

Aaron and alex totally meet because alex is doing something weird and Aaron is like "what the hell". Like it's probably midnight and they're both in a grocery store (Aaron cause he was craving ice cream and Alexander because he promised Lafayette that he would buy butter and he forgot until now) so they're both checking out and only one line is open because it's midnight and all Aaron can think is how weird the person in front of him is because he's buying 10 packs of butter

This is great

Like imagine Laf having told Alex over and over again that they’re out of butter and Alex keeps promising he’ll get some, but he always forgets. So one day Laf just puts hundreds of sticky-notes around the apartment that just say “BUTTER” and Alex just gets so mad cause the sticky-notes are legit everywhere. Plus Laf probably pulls some asshole move where he drinks all the coffee, knowing it will piss Alex off enough to go buy the butter.

So, being the annoying little shit that he is, Alex goes to the grocery and buys like 20 things of butter to fill the refrigerator with. And the person at the register is giving him the weirdest looks and Alex is just like, whatever, but then he turns to see this guy clutching two things of ice cream to his chest, also giving him a weird look, and Alex asks what he’s staring at.

And Aaron, who really had just wanted to quickly buy some ice cream, is just thinking to himself, why did I have to get stuck behind this crazy butter man? He does his best to just casually say that he’s never seen someone buy so much butter, and the guy shrugs, saying that Aaron has no right to talk, since he’s the one buying two tubs of ice cream at midnight.

And of course Aaron gets offended by that, cause who is this guy? What does he know about Aaron’s life? It had been a long week, and Aaron just really wanted some ice cream, and fuck this guy for making him feel guilty. So Aaron argues that it’s normal for people to buy ice cream, and it’s much less normal for someone to buy twenty sticks of butter. 

Then, without either of them realizing it, they both start laughing, cause wow, it’s midnight in a practically empty grocery store and they are having what is probably the most ridiculous argument to ever occur in a grocery store.

They both finish checking out, and then Alex is telling the whole story about the sticky-notes and the coffee to Aaron, who laughs the whole time, and Alex can’t help but think that the guy has a nice laugh. Before he can stop himself, Alex is asking Aaron if they could do this again sometime.

And Aaron is really confused at first. Alex wants to meet at a grocery store and argue with each other? But then Alex is laughing, saying that he meant could they meet up and talk. He gives Aaron a smile and says that he’ll even take Aaron out for ice cream if he wants to. Aaron says yes, and they exchange numbers.

So Alex goes home, smiling to himself as he puts all 20 sticks of butter into the fridge. Half the reason he’s smiling is because he scored a date with a pretty great guy, but the other reason is knowing that it will be hilarious to wake up to the sound of Laf screaming in frustration when he opens the fridge in the morning.  

High for This

High for This by evansrogerskitten

Dean x Reader x Sam, John x Reader

A witch’s curse hexes the three Winchester men and reader, leading to a night of desire that would change things forever.

Warnings: Explicit, Smut, Voyeurism, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Threesome (NO Wincest), Fingering, Language, Dom!John, discussion of being high, dirty talk, orgasm denial, squirting, spanking, mention of a panic attack, Feels, A lil fluff, lack of protection, canon divergence. To be clear- the characters have all consented to all sexual acts in this story. 

Word Count: 8408 | On AO3 | This is inspired by the song High for This by The Weeknd, and my first song for @mrs-squirrel-chester Album Fanficfion Challenge. 

This fic had a mind of its own but I love it. I hope you do too :)


The Impala rolled into a parking space on the street and Sam killed the engine. I straightened the sleeves of my navy fed suit, and looked over at him.

“You really think she’s going to know anything?” Sam pestered, looking through the window.

“Witnesses said two of the victims had been here to see her for readings.” I responded, climbing out of the car. I patted my jacket pocket to make sure I still had my fake FBI badge. “She does readings on love and relationships.”

Sam rolled his eyes as we walked up the sidewalk to the old house.

“What if she’s really psychic then? She’ll know we’re hunters.” Sam suggested sarcastically as he looked over his shoulder to the street.

“Then we’ll improvise. It’ll be fine, Sam.” I responded, looking around the front porch. A bright Psychic Reader sign lit up the front window.

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Sombra joins the fight
  • Tracer: I've got you now, Sombra!
  • Sombra: Do you? Well, I've got footage of you with a certain sniper when you were supposed to be on a mission. Didn't Overwatch lose that mission...? I hope it wasn't -- oh look, it was marked 'critical importance'.
  • Tracer: ... *hammers rewind*
  • --Later--
  • D.Va: I'm taking Sombra down!
  • Sombra: Ah, Hana Song. Are you livestreaming right now? I wonder what your followers would think of their gaming queen, if they knew she didn't actually know how to play Poké--
  • D.Va: Uh, uh, my mech's malfunctioning. Stream's going down guys, uhm, whoops. *flies off*
  • --Later--
  • Pharah: Target acquired.
  • Sombra: *sighs* Two words: mommy kink
  • Pharah: ...target lost.
  • --Later--
  • Pharah, D.Va, Tracer, and others: Okay Sombra, this time you're not getting away. We've got the perfect agent to take you down!
  • Lucio: I guess that's my signal.
  • Sombra: Haha, please, let's see...
  • Sombra: *checks pocket computer* uhh
  • Sombra: *starts pulling out folders* hold on, wait
  • Sombra: *starts emptying her pockets* no wait I got this
  • Sombra: *finds a small, crumpled note* Ah hah!
  • Sombra: Lucio, what about that time you, uh, were fifteen minutes late to your shift in the... soup kitchen... because you'd found a sick dog and had to carry it all the way to... are you serious? Are you serious right now, that's it?
  • Sombra: You know what? Just take me in.

anonymous asked:

So headcanon that Jack doesn't know bitty's first name & at this point in the relationship, it's too late to ask

He keeps trying to subtly steal Bitty’s wallet from his back pocket to check his driver’s license but inevitably they end up having sex anytime he touches the butt.

He knows it isn’t Richard because that’s his middle name, but for a while he wasn’t 100% sure.

He got desperate enough to try facebook but Bitty had his name there changed to Bitty, and then he ended up spending two hours commenting on all of Bitty’s posts with chirps, so that wasn’t helpful at all and Bitty called him to yell at him to quote ‘let me live’ unquote.

I mean, obviously it is his fault for letting it get to this point, but the wedding is next week and he’s pretty sure he can’t get married without knowing the name of his fiance.

He has cleared time from his schedule and he is going to visit Samwell this week to get into the student personal files. Surely he will find the answers then.

You're doing WHAT to the god?

Context: the players had just taken part in a ritual allowing them to see and interact with a god’s aspect. The players are: a teifling warlord (Ea), a halfling rogue (Octavia), and a dragonborn paladin (Rhogar), we had an elf ranger (Stasi) and a skeleton fighter (Bone Daddy) missing from the session. And then there’s me, the GM…

GM: so, as you bite into the bug, the fog around you lifts. You see an impossibly tall man who looks to be cut out of marble - both in colour and physique. His face is polished into a smooth curve from the eyes down; he has no nose or mouth.

Octavia: I want to take something from him

GM: uhhhh you can try if you like?

[Rest of Party]: oh no please no

Octavia: I’m looking for anywhere he’d hide valuables on him

GM: well, his hair occasionally glows green, probably more bugs like the ones you just consumed; you don’t see anywhere else he could hide something

Rhogar (ooc): wait is he naked?

GM: yeah, you’re not seeing anywhere he could hide something unless, y'know…

>players faff about and behave civilized for a bit, GM is lured into a false sense of security<

Octavia: wait before we go, I want to steal from him

GM: WHAT? How?

Octavia: I’m going to “check his back pocket”

GM: oh no, okay fine. Roll for it.

>Octavia rolls a 1<

GM: you stride up to Varitriel (the god) while he and everyone else stares at you; confident you’re concealed, you go to erhm, “check his pockets” and accidentally caress his undercarriage as you do. He reels back, eyes burning, about to strike you.

Octavia: it was… a trick! (bluff)

>Octavia rolls a 4

Jealous Fights (Jughead X Reader)

Summary- You get jealous that Jughead is hanging out with Betty so much, so you try to make him jealous too. 

Warnings- fighting, jealousy, kissing, crying.

requested- yes! @dixiehasalotoffreetime (thanks bes frand ily)

A/N- my first writing got 7 notes! (thats not a lot but still) thank you!  Also, I will be doing a second part to this! (probs won’t be as exciting but whatever) So stay tuned for that!




“So Jug, you up for studying tomorrow?” Betty asks Jughead.

You and your friends were all sitting at a booth at Pop’s, as usual.

“Uh, sure!” Jughead replies and smiles.

You quickly look both of them over. Jughead was your boyfriend and he seemed to be spending a lot of time with Betty lately. It was really getting on your nerves. 

“Whatcha gonna study?” You ask, scooting a bit closer to Jughead. 

Betty glances at Jug and replies, “For the science test, you know how hard Mrs.Hank’s tests are.” 

You nod and take a sip of your milk shake. 

You didn’t want to admit it to yourself, but you were a little jealous.

Then you got an idea. Why not make Jughead jealous too?

You turned to look at Archie, sitting on the other side of table. 

“Arch, do you to study with me? My place?” You ask the ginger haired boy. 

He quickly glances over at Jughead who looks a bit suspicious. 

“Uh, ok.” He replies.

You could see Jughead staring at you with hawk eyes, he was jealous already!

“Alright Archie, should we go?” You ask him leaning into the table.

“Sure.” He smiles and you both get up.

“Bye guys!” You both say in unison, before you lean down to kiss jughead.

Not just a peck, but a real kiss. You wanted him to see what he was missing out on.

You deepened your kiss and held his chin with your hand before breaking off. You wanted to be a tease.

You hear ooo sounds from Veronica and Kevin as you get back up from leaning over, still locking eyes with Jughead.

Jughead still looked flustered as you and Archie exited Pop’s. 

“What was that for?” Archie asks, referring to the kiss.

You turn to him and say, “Juggie has been spending a lot of time with Betty lately. And I don’t want to admit it but I’m kinda jealous.” 

“Ya, but they’re just friends.” Archie points out.

“I know but- I just want to make him jealous too. That’s why I asked you to study with me at my house.” You tell him as you near your home. 

Archie nods and you both enter the house.



The next day, you Kevin and Veronica walked to school together.

I didn’t take long for Kevin to bring up that kiss.

“Ok, but can we just talk about that kiss?” He exclaims. 

You giggle as he goes on.

“I mean that was hot. Like wow.” He says. 

“Thanks,” You laugh.

“But like why? You hardly ever kiss Jug like that in public, is there something happening that I don know about?” Veronica asked as she pulled her phone out of her pocket to check her hair on the camera.

“I don’t know. Jughead has been hanging out with Betty a lot lately. And I know that they are only friends… But I’m kinda jealous. I guess I just wanted him to see what he was missing out on.” You explain as you all enter the school.

“Oh! Well I can help you make him jealous if you want.” Veronica offers, winking. 

You laugh and open your locker. 

Then you see Betty and Jughead walking side by side down the halls, laughing. 

A fire burns in you. You didn’t know why, but you were mad. 

Then Archie comes up beside you and Kevin to open his locker. 

“Hey Arch!” You say loud enough so Juggie and Betty hear as they came closer. 

“Hey Y/N!” He replies and smiles and grabs some books out of his locker. 

Then Betty and Jughead come up to you guys. 

“Hey.” Jug says to you all and takes you into his arms in a light kiss. 

You kiss him back a little harder and then let go, smirking at him. 

You turn around and get books out of your locker as the rest of the gang talks. 

“So how was studying?” Jughead asked you. 

There it was, he was jealous.

“Fine, and you?” You asked smiling.

“Fine too.” He looked at you a little angrily and then said, “Well, I better get to class.” and walked away. 




After school, while in your room, you heard a knock on your window, it was Jughead. 

You quickly opened it and let him inside. 

“Hello beautiful.” He said and leaned in for a kiss. 

You rolled your eyes at his cliche saying but kissed him back. 

You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him deeply. He wrapped his arms around your waste as his lips moved gracefully against yours.

After a few moments you broke apart and stared lovingly into his eyes and he did the same. 

bing!

His phone dinged and he pulled it out. 

“Ugh. I got to go.” He sighed and made his way towards the window.

“What? why?” You asked in an annoyed tone.

“I promised Betty I would help her with an assignment, sorry.” He said.

You lets out a loud groan. Jughead turned around to face you.

“What was that for?” He inquired.

“Nothing… It’s just seems like you’ve been wanting to be with Betty a lot lately.” You answered turning your head up a bit.

“Ya, so? She’s my friend.” He said.

“Friend, huh? It seems like you want to be more than that with her.” You said. You know you were going overboard, but you needed to show Jughead you meant business.

“What? Y/N that just stupid! You know that’s not true!” He raised his voice a bit.

“Oh really? Then why are you spending more time with her than with me?” You said, crossing your arms.

“I’m not! We just study together sometimes and-” He began but you cut him off.

“Sometimes? Sometimes?! You have been with her almost everyday after school for the past two weeks!” You raised your voice and stepped at bit closer to him.

“I have not! Your just jealous!” He yelled.

Anger burned in your eyes, you could feel your face getting red and your palms sweating.

“You know what? Fine. Whatever! Just go!” You yelled pointing to the window. “I’ll just invite over Archie!” 

Jughead began to leave until he hear the last sentence. He whirled around.

“Archie? Why Archie?!” He said, his eyes burned.

“See!! Your jealous too!!” Your voice getting louder by the second.

“I am not!” Jughead yelled, heading towards the window again. 

“Yes you are! Now leave! Be with Betty! Cheat on me, see if I care!!” You screamed, tears welling up in your eyes. 

That was it. He turned around so fast he was like a blob of black clothes. 

“I’M NOT CHEATING ON YOU, YOU IDIOT!!” He screamed.

Jughead had never been so mad before. He had never yelled at you. He had never called you anything other than sweet things. But he was the most angry you had ever seen him.

Your face got hot, tears began to stream down your face.

“WHY WOULDN’T YOU? YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOOSE! BETTY IS PERFECT AND SWEET AND BEAUTIFUL! JUST GO WITH HER!” You screamed as hot tears poured out of your eyes.

“YES I WOULD HAVE SOMETHING TO LOOSE! THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!” He screamed coming closer to you.

Did you hear him right?

“I love you Y/N.” He said a bit quieter, but still loudly. 

He then took your face in his hands and brought his mouth to yours. 

But before he kissed you, you let out a small whisper, 

“I love you too.” 

Airports

Masterlist

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader (mentions of platonic!Harrison x reader)

Summary: You pick Harrison and Tom up from the airport and sleepy boys give sleepy cuddles.

Warnings: mentions of sex, fluff

You weren’t having a particularly busy day. You were trying to do some cleaning done before the boys came home this evening but you had gotten side-tracked scrolling through Instagram so you hadn’t got time to do the vacuuming before Harrison rang.

“Afternoon, ugly.” Harrison’s voice filled your ear and you heard the unmistakable sound of Tom laughing in the background.

“Now is that any way to talk to your best friend?” You berated him, “I take it you’ve landed?”

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