The kea is beautiful, intelligent, hilarirous..and in serious trouble. In the last decade kea numbers have plummeted, and there are many reasons why. Like many New Zealand species, the kea has been greatly affected by invasive mammalian predators such as rats, stoats, and possums. A study has shown that only about two thirds of kea chicks survive to fledging due to nest raids by these predators. Unfortunately, government efforts to eradicate these creatures are also affecting the kea, as the curious birds will often consume poisoned bait and be caught in traps.
The kea’s curiosity and intelligence may also work against it. Many kea have died from lead poisoning, as they will chew on the roofs and gutters of old buildings, which often contain lead. In addition, chewing on buildings and cars leads kea into increasing conflict with humans.
Humans are deeply divided in their opinion about the kea, and both of them can be harmful. Many people love the kea, and travel to the national parks just to see them. These same people, however, charmed by the kea’s fearlessness, will feed them unsuitable and harmful foods such as chips, ice cream, and chocolate. This also encourages the kea to seek out people, which can lead them to approach those on the other side of the spectrum. For other humans consider the kea a terrible nuisance due to its attacks on sheep and destructive nature. Despite protection by the government, many locals still actively hunt and shoot kea.
South Africa Just Made It Legal To Sell Rhino Horn. Just a few weeks after poachers broke into a rhino orphanage in South Africa and killed two baby rhinos for their tiny horns, the country made the domestic trade of rhino horn legal. Worth more than its weight in gold, rhino horn is made of keratin, which is the same material as our fingernails. But organized crime groups profit from illegally trafficking the keratin from rhino horn across borders into Asia because of the unfounded superstition that it cures everything from hangovers to cancer. __________________________________________________ The trade of rhinoceros horn has been internationally banned since 1977 because high demand for the horns drives rampant poaching and threatens rhinos with extinction. Susie Watts of WildAid’s Africa Program, told The Dodo in a statement. “There is no domestic demand for rhino horn products and, as the pro-trade lobby very well knows, the reason why the moratorium was implemented in the first place was to prevent domestic trade from being used as a cover for smuggling.”
One day in Juneau, Alaska, a black wolf appeared out in the open of a snowy field while Nick Jans (photographer and author) was outside his back porch with his pet Labrador. Usually, wolves do not encounter humans, so when he first saw the wolf, he was in shock and in fear. His dog, however, went out to greet the black wolf. It turned out that the wolf was being friendly. The Labrador and wolf started to play together as Nick captured the exciting moment on his camera. The black wolf earned the name “Romeo” because of his playfulness toward the humans and other dogs. Everyone was skeptical of the wolf at first. Soon they realized that the wolf was no harm to the townspeople and the other dogs.
The black wolf had an understanding that creating a friendship and bond with the humans and dogs would bring harmony to the species.
The wolf visited the townspeople for six years until one day, he was shot by a couple of poachers visiting from outside the state. It was a very tragic event. After the event, the townspeople held a memorial to remember Romeo. Nick eventually wrote a book about the friendship between Romeo and him.
“Romeo and Nick shared a bond that was probably what the first humans who domesticated dogs felt about their dogs. More than about building trust, it was about understanding need for friendship that even the wildest animal feels.”
Uncle Popeye Fucks Up Hunting So Bad Legislation Happens
(Gun use, alcohol mention, amazingly- no animal death)
So you may remember Uncle Popeye from A Holiday Story, when he and grandpa tried to shoot a pheasant and fucked it up real bad. I called the Ohio Relatives. They have no idea how the family knew Popeye either, but that his given name was Richard, but got tired of being called “Dick” and after losing an eye in WW2, went by Popeye.
Look man, Ohio DOES things to people.
Popeye fancied himself the Great Outdoors-man, despite a long list of evidence to the contrary- besides the shooting incident, there was the time he got lost in the woods behind his house for a week despite being less than a mile from his house and six major roads, the time he almost poisoned the whole family after mushrooming in the hills only to be stopped by GG, and the time he got in a fight with a Woodcock and Lost.
The worst though, was Snowflake.
Near where my Ohio relatives lived, and continue to live, there is a Military Armory. (You know that joke about “If all your relatives all live in the same postcode, you might be a redneck?” Yeah, check that. Mom was the first to leave the state, and keeps urging the others that they are free to leave, they can’t keep you there. But I digress). The armory is actually kind of a large campus, several hundred acres in size, where they take lots of old munitions and aircraft and whatnot, and figure out how to take apart and dispose of them without blowing everything up to fuck. The whole area is fenced off to keep the locals from helping themselves to the munitions (A serious issue in redneck country), which trapped the deer in the forest inside.
The deer, no longer having to worry about hunters, but cut off from the outside population, basically went full Deliverance, and the resulting mutants are… rather pretty.
The mutation is Luecistism, not albinism, but it makes for pretty, pretty very stupid deer. Like, even dumber than white-tail already are, and whitetail are DUMB. But the deer on the armory could afford to be easy to spot and have no natural fear of anything, because there were no predators or hunters, and the soldiers stationed there had better things to do
The prettiest of them all was Snowflake, the large white buck named Snowflake, because soldiers are great at naming things. He was, by all accounts, a truly splendid creature- snow-white and shapely, with a well-developed rack. Not unlike a porn star, apparently. And many a man Lusted after snowflake, desperate for his head.
Or other things. Ohio’s a pretty fucked up place.
But unlike other men, who would only stare wistfully from afar, Popeye was absolutely determined to have Snowflake. The issue was, the military, having a few moments of sense, had decreed that having people wandering around a munitions decommissioning plant with firearms was likely to result in fire and death, declared that there was to be no hunting on their grounds. The only way Popeye could feasibly shoot Snowflake would be if he were somehow able to get him on the other side of the fence. But he couldn’t just cut a hole in the fence- it was fairly regularly checked, and he’d be caught. Nope. Somehow, Popeye had to get Snowflake on the other side of the fence without damaging it or the Military noticing.
It was during an afternoon of boozing and watching western documentaries, Popeye hit upon a solution. He was watching a tourism promotion for all the great outdoor activities in Colorado, when he saw the solution to his problem.
He could FISH for deer.
Specifically, he fly-fish. In his mind, he could clearly see how it would play out. he’d simply find a heavy-duty line, cast it over the fence, tangling it in Snowflake’s antlers, and then reel him over the fence, where it would be perfectly legal to shoot him and then he’d be the envy of all the men down at the elks lodge. Hah! Genius!
So that spring, Popeye began tossing corn over the fence to lure deer to that particular secluded corner, and was immensely pleased when Snowflake started turning up regularly. He’d get his trophy AND some fat venison! All summer and into fall, he continued this, with the deer getting entirely too casual about his presence. he also got his hands on some deep-sea fishing line and practiced ensnaring the antlers of his dummy deer in the backyard. Just to make sure he had the leverage to haul Snowflake in, he got the harness that attaches the pole to your hip. All was going according to plan.
So the first day of hunting season, Popeye goes to his corner where he’s been feeding the deer, and Snowflake is there, waiting for breakfast. Great. Popeye backs his pickup truck up to the fence, and stands on the bed so he can cast over the fence. The deer, being imbeciles, fail to notice anything amiss. He casts, and miracle of miracles, he gets the loop over Snowflake’s antlers on the first try! Popeye whips the line around some more, making sure Snowflake is good and tangled, before reeling him in.
Apparently snowflake just stood there for this part, presumably looking confused. Then the line began to pull on him.
As Popeye would later recount from the hospital: “That’s when I realized. Deer ain’t Mackinaw.”
Popeye had, in all his planning, not taken into consideration that a 200-pound buck at the height of his testosterone-riddled rut might be somewhat disinclined to be pulled over a fence. Furthermore, Popeye had failed to account that at 5′5″, he was of similar size to the deer, and in nowhere near as good of shape.
He recalled ALMOST flying over the fence as Snowlfake turned and ran for the safety of the base. He did not quite make it, and cracked both knees as they slammed into the fence, jeans and harness shredding on the barbed wire. it was not enough to separate him from the harness, only enough to slide it down his legs and tangle around his ankles, so that once he hit the ground, Popeye was dragged for half a goddamn mile by his feet as Snowflake frantically tried to get away.
Once at the base, and all manner of bruised, cut up and abused, Popeye was relieved when they finally came to a halt. he regretted it half a second later when he realized that Snowflake had only turned around, and was now bearing down on his sorry ass full-tilt. Several puncture and kick wounds later, Popeye managed to kick off the harness, freeing himself from Snowflake, and had to run back to where he thought he’d left the truck. In the middle of the night, in the woods, with cracked patellas and without pants.
It took him all night to find the fence and truck, but managed to get back over the fence and to the hospital without being spotted. In a fit of paranoia that almost pased for good sense, he drove to three counties away to be treated, so the police wouldn’t find him, bleeding all the way. He neglected beforehand, to tell any of his friends or family where he was going, except that he was deer-hunting.
He was very disappointed when he turned up a week later and found out nobody had gone looking for him.
Snowflake was found tangled up in a tree, and was cut loose by the soldiers, apparently upset but unharmed. Concerned that the poachers were getting too creative for their own good, the base petitioned the state legislature to maybe make a law that you aren’t allowed to fish for deer, Christ, we only found the poor man’s pants.
The state legislature, in a fit of rabid libertarianism, declared that such a law would be too restrictive upon the freedom of Ohioans, so the Army tried the country. The county, which had to actually deal with this kind of bullshit on a semi-regular basis, agreed, and it is now illegal to Hunt any bird, fish or quadruped with devices and equipment not intended for such purpose.
Popeye never went deer-hunting after that, and Snowflake went on to sire many many more pretty inbred deer.
Polymita picta, common name the Cuban land snail or the painted snail, is a species of large, air-breathing land snail. Shells of Polymita picta can reach a length of about 20 millimeters (0.79 in). These large shells are shiny and very brightly colored. Normally they show a bright yellow color with a white stripe, but the species is well known for its colorful shell polymorphism, with numerous color varieties. These shells are sought after by poachers and used to make jewelry and trinkets. As a result, the species has become endangered.
Bison were hunted almost to extinction in the 19th century and were reduced to a few hundred by the mid-1880s. They were hunted for their skins, with the rest of the animal left behind to decay on the ground. Here we see a poacher standing on a pile of an estimate 100,000 Bison skulls.
That is where former U.S. Army officer turned anti poaching enforcer Kinessa Johnson steps in. Recently she joined the ranks of Veterans Empowered to Protect African Wildlife (“VETPAW”) as an anti-poaching advisor. Johnson and her fellow post-9/11 veterans train and support African anti-poaching rangers to prevent the extermination of keystone African wildlife, and the disastrous economic and environmental impact it would have.
This young giraffe calf named Omo suffers from a genetic disorder called Leucism which makes her usually reddish coat appear a striking white. The condition (not to be confused with Albinism) is relatively common among other animals, particularly birds, but has never been documented in a wild giraffe before. Beautiful as she may be, rangers at the Tarangire National Park in Tanzania fear that Omo is at very high risk of being targeted by poachers. It’s likely that this innocent animal will live in constant danger of losing her life to heartless individuals only interested in making a profit.
The Bali myna is a medium-large bird, almost wholly white with a long, drooping crest, black wing-tips and tail tip. It has a yellow bill with blue bare skin around the eyes and legs. The Bali myna is restricted to the island of Bali in Indonesia, where it is the island’s only endemic vertebrate species. The bird was discovered in 1910, and in 1991 was designated the faunal emblem of Bali, its local name is jalak Bali.
Genji- Shiba Inu: “The Shiba Inu originated in Japan and
was used primarily as a hunting dog to flush out small game and birds. A small, agile dog that copes very well with mountainous terrain, the Shiba has an independent nature and can be reserved toward strangers but is loyal and affectionate to those who earn his respect.”
“The coyote is a canine native to North America and one of the most adaptable animals on the planet. It is gregarious, but not as dependent on packs as more social canid species like wolves are. The coyote is a prominent character in Native American folklore (Southwestern United States and Mexico), usually depicted as a trickster. As with other trickster figures, the coyote acts as a picaresque hero which rebels against social convention through deception and humor.”
Pharah- Pharaoh Hound: “The Pharaoh Hound is an ancient dog breed who has changed little since its development more than 5,000 years ago. They were the dog of kings and may have hunted gazelles with pharaohs, hence their name. As with any hound, they can have moments of aloofness and can be strong-willed, but in the main they are gentle and get along well with others. They love human companionship and will seek out affection and attention from people while still maintaining their independence.”
Ana- Canaan Dog: “
The Canaan Dog is a pariah dog that has survived in the desert region of Israel for thousands of years. Canaan dogs have a strong survival instinct. They are quick to react and wary of strangers, and will alert to any disturbances with prompt barking, thus making them excellent watchdogs. Though defensive, they are not aggressive and are very good with children”
Reaper- Presa Canario: “
The Perro de Presa Canario, A.K.A. the Canary Mastiff, is a Molosser-type dog breed originally bred for working livestock. They are large dogs with thick and muscular bodies.
Their aspect denotes power. They are especially gifted for the function of guard and defense; their impetuous temperament, fighting skill, and low, deep bark make them quite formidable. They are gentle and noble with family and distrustful with strangers.”
Tracer- Jack Russell Terrier: “Jack Russells are an energetic breed originating in England, and rely on a high level of exercise and stimulation.
Jack Russells tend to be extremely intelligent, athletic, fearless, and vocal dogs.
Despite their small size, they have a tremendous amount of energy, a fact which can sometimes lead to trouble involving larger animals.”
Hanzo- Akita Inu:
“The Akita is a large and powerful dog breed with a noble and intimidating presence originally used for guarding royalty and nobility in feudal Japan. The Akita also tracked and hunted wild boar, black bear, and sometimes deer. A fearless and loyal guardian of his family, the Akita does not back down from challenges and does not frighten easily.”
Junkrat- Dingo: “The dingo is a wild dog found in Australia. They are opportunistic hunters, but will also scavenge from human settlements and even eat fruits and plants. Europeans regarded them as devious and cowardly, since they did not “fight bravely”. They were seen as predators that killed wantonly, rather than out of hunger. They were associated with thieves, vagabonds, and bushrangers.”
Originally bred to hunt, haul sledges, and herd reindeer, the Samoyed dog breed proved a valuable companion for northwestern Siberia’s Samoyede people. To this day, the Samoyed’s reputation as an intelligent, dignified, family dog is well deserved. They often choose to dote on one special person in the household, but are affectionate with everyone in the pack. Happiest when part of family life, this breed needs to be with people. In fact, leaving a Samoyed alone too much is the best way to make them miserable.”
Torbjörn- Schipperke: “Known for a stubborn, mischievous, and headstrong temperament, the Schipperke is sometimes referred to as the “little devil”. Schipperkes are very smart and independent; and sometimes debate listening to owners, instead choosing to do whatever benefits them. They are formidable barkers and can be aggressive with other dogs.”
Widowmaker- Standard Poodle: “The poodle is a medium sized dog that was standardized in France. Although today’s poodles seem to epitomize a life of leisure and luxury, make no mistake: These are real dogs bred to do real jobs. Poodles are renowned for a playful but dignified personality and keen intelligence, as well as what his fans call “an air of distinction”: a dignified attitude that’s hard to describe, but easy to spot in the dog.”
D.Va- Korean Jindo:
“Originating in South Korea, the Jindo exhibit unmatched loyalty. They are incredibly intelligent dogs with a knack for hunting, tricks, and even agility.
Renowned for their bravery and intelligence, they show diehard loyalty to their owners, making them great companions, and rather reserved with strangers, making them effective watchdogs as well. In fact, they are such good watchdogs that the Korean army frequently uses them as guard dogs for military bases.”
“Originally from Germany, this giant breed, with their lion-like looks and deep bark, make intimidating watch dogs.
First and foremost a family dog, the Leonberger’s temperament is one of their most important and distinguishing characteristics. Leonbergers are self-assured, well-composed, and self-disciplined when obliging its family or property with protection.”
“The Bullmastiff is a
a large, quiet, fearless dog with the speed to track down poachers and the strength to hold them. While standoffish toward strangers, they have a soft spot for loved ones.
Large and powerfully built, the Bullmastiff was bred to be a silent watchdog and only rarely barks; their formidable appearance is a wonderful deterrent to would-be attackers or intruders. They are determined protectors when needed and a loving family companion the rest of the time.”
Zarya- Caucasian Shepherd Dog:
“Caucasian shepherd dogs are large, strongly-boned, muscular, and even-tempered molossers originating in Russia. They have existed since ancient times, and served shepherds in the Caucasus mountains as guard dogs, defending sheep from predators, mainly wolves, jackals and bears. They are still successfully served in this job.”
Boxers are large, muscular, square-headed dogs who look imposing but are very bright, energetic, and playful. They are known to be clownish and loving to their family, but also headstrong, dignified, and self-assured, especially in guard work.
They often are distrustful of strangers at first, but will not be aggressive unless they perceive a threat to their families.”
Mercy- Berger Blanc Suisse: “The Berger Blanc Suisse is a breed of dog originating in Switzerland. Most are gentle, very intelligent and learn easily. They are loyal to their family and may be wary around strangers, but are not prone to show shy or fearful behavior. They are suited for a variety of services to man from search and rescue to medical alert to therapy. They are also structured and have temperaments to succeed at performance events.”
“The Kanni is a rare indigenous South Indian dog breed used mainly for hunting.
Though usually shy, it will always defend its home or master, if the need arises. They are a silent breed and are not nuisance barkers. The Kanni dogs are faithful and easy to train but they will always think independently when on a hunt. They are extremely agile and strong while remaining light on their feet.”
Soldier: 76- Yellow Black Mouth Cur: “ The Black Mouth Cur is a well-muscled rugged herding, hunting, and all around utility dog originating in America.
The black mouth cur was bred as a homestead dog that would protect its family and home against intruders. This means that a well-bred black mouth cur is territorial; most off their ‘turf’ work well with other dogs, hunting or herding stock, but on their family property will chase the same dog away.”
So everyone saves money for Laf’s birthday to go to Disney World. so while everyone is there this happens:
Laf is super freaking happy to meet Cinderella and Belle and he has princess Mouse ears.
Herc meets Meg and Hercules and gets challenged to an arm wrestling duel (which he wins)
During the Pirates of the Caribbean ride Alex keeps saying “this sucks” or “this isn’t what home was like. ” or “where the hell is Johnny Depp? I was promised Johnny Depp.”
John being a complete gentleman to the princesses and them being like “oh what a well mannered prince” and he’s like “nah I’m just from the south. ”
Thomas hanging out with Jasmine and the two being sassy as hell.
James almost crying cause he meets Eeyore and Piglet and he loves those two so much and when they hug him he cries.
Burr singing with Tiana and they’re killin it.
Angelica meeting Mulan and Merida and does Badass poses with them.
Eliza and Snow White singing and dancing together.
The princesses taking a liking and comforting Maria and being such awesome girls.
JOHN MEETING MOANA AND THE TWO HAVE A BLAST TALKING ABOUT THE OCEAN AND TURTLES.
Peggy doing poses with EVERY character. Like with villains she poses evil like and with princesses she pretends to be elegant and badass and with the other characters (like Mickey, Minnie, Goofy all of them) she is silly.
Laf being super freaking excited over everything and then getting to Epcot’s France and being like “This is…disappointing” but still being excited.
Herc dancing with Laf when they hear “Beauty and the Beast” and everyone staring in wonder. In fact Belle comes over and is like “aw heck yeah”.
Thomas loosing James in the massive crowd so everyone is looking for James. They find him eating cookies on a bench cause he got stressed out.
Alex and John meeting Ariel and Alex being all excited to meet her and singing with her and John is like “YEAH! LOOK AT MY CUTIE BOYFRIEND!!”
The Schuyler sisters meeting Elsa and Anna and taking one huge Sister pick with Angelica and Elsa in the middle.
Eliza and Maria meeting Minnie and having a grand old time.
Eliza getting Maria to dance with her in Main Street.
The Hamilsquad going on the Safari thing and when it’s mentioned poachers got the baby elephant John quietly says “those motherfuckers”.
They all go in the haunted mansion and these things happen;
When the voice asks for any volunteers to die and live in the house James raises his hand.
James keeps saying “Welp looks like I made it home alright.”
Alex accidentally screams “SHIT” when something pops up.
The Schuyler sisters +Maria and Burr scream and laugh
(That’s all for the HM)
Burr managing to woo a lot of the princesses. Except Jasmine. She’s too sassy.
Laf having custom make Belle and Cinderella inspired outfits made by Herc.
Laf meeting Gaston and Gaston is like “Okay maybe just this once I’ll kiss a man. ” and he kisses Laf on the cheek.
The princesses being taller than James and cooing over how cute and small he is and he’s just shy.
EVERYONE BEING TALLER THAN JAMES AND COOING OVER HOW CUTE AND SMALL HE IS.
All the Hamilton people waiting in line for a ride and doing a freestyle rap thing about Disney characters and everyone else enjoys it.
A little girl asking Laf if he’s a prince.
Thomas carrying James on his shoulders when he gets tired.
Alex and John singing at meals like “hakuna matata” and “Strangers like me”
“So…” Harry rubbed his eyes tiredly, “we finally caught the poachers. I have portkey for tomorrow. I’ll arrive…seven twenty your time.”
On the other side of the floo fire, Ron was holding a squirming Hugo while Rose sat patiently in Hermione’s lap, smiling shyly at Harry whenever he glanced her way.
“We should have a welcome back party,” Ron said.
Hermione gave him a look.
Ron went on instantly, “He’s been off in China for nearly three months! It doesn’t have to be long, just a chance for everyone see him.”
“I don’t know…” Harry said tiredly, he glanced to the side when someone tapped his shoulder, “I’ve got to go, other people need the international floo. See you tomorrow? Tell Draco for me, I couldn’t get a hold of him earlier.”
Ron rolled his eyes.
“Of course we will,” Hermione assured him.
Harry ducked out the fire and fought down a yawn. Nearly three months tracking down dragon poachers all across Europe and Asia. They had only caught the poachers because they got sloppy killing a Chinese Fireball. Harry didn’t envy them, the Chinese wizarding community was very protective of their dragons and was pushing for the death sentence.
Harry shook his head, rubbed his temples and went back to his cot to sleep until his portkey departure.
Harry stumbled when he landed in the Ministry’s portkey arrivals. He was ushered off the platform and into Hermione and Ron’s tight embrace while his head and stomach were still reeling. One person was noticeably missing, however.
“Where’s Draco?” Harry glanced around, “You did tell him, right?”
“Well,” Hermione said, “Ron’s idea got me thinking-”
“You guys.” Harry groaned.
“It’ll be a surprise!” Hermione insisted.
“I don’t want surprises, I just want to see Draco.” Harry sighed.
He let them drag him along to a small bar that had been rented out for the night just for them. He smiled and laughed, greeting all his friends and family that had come out to see him and use his homecoming as an excuse to get absolutely pissed. He looked up every time the door opened, his heart squeezing in his chest so tight he felt like he might die.
He finally stood from the table, tapping Hermione on the shoulder, “This has been great but I’m going home. I need to see-”
A wave of silence washed through the bar behind him and Harry heard a familiar voice that made his eyes ache.
“Just one drink. I don’t know why I let you convince me to come out, Pans. I’m really not in the mood-”
Harry turned around, the crowd pulling back as Draco and Pansy stepped inside. Draco looked too thin and his eyes were shadowed, but he was still the most beautiful thing Harry had ever seen.
Draco’s grey eyes snapped up and widened, “Harry?” He whispered, stumbling forward.
Harry’s cheeks felt like they might break from smiling as he ran to Draco wrapping his arms around his waist and lifting him briefly in a surge of adrenaline and happiness. Draco hugged Harry’s neck, burying his face in the crook of his neck.
“God, I’ve missed you,” Harry’s voice cracked.
Draco cradled Harry’s face in his hands and kissed him breathless. They were both shaking.
“You’re too thin,” Draco scolded, his eyes roving over Harry as if trying to sear every inch of him into his memory, “have you been sleeping?”
“I could say the same thing about you,” Harry said faintly.
“I couldn’t stand it,” Draco said, pressing his forehead to Harry’s, “Don’t ever leave me again.”
“I don’t wa-”
“I mean it,” Draco interrupted fiercely, “Stay with me forever, Harry. Marry me.”
“Draco,” Harry breathed in shock.
Draco’s hands slid into Harry’s hair tangling in the curls, “Say yes,” he begged.
Harry swallowed hard, his voice coming out a wobbly mess on the verge of tears, “Yes.”
The whole building shivered with the force of the cheering, both Harry and Draco startling at the realization they weren’t alone. A round of drinks was ordered, congratulations were shouted but Harry didn’t care.
Harry tightened his grip on Draco waist, “Let’s go home.”