This is a lot but basically it’s come to my attention through sharing my story that this guy is a serial emotional abuser and manipulator. I had been talking to him as a friend for a couple months & then met up with him when I was out in Cali for a 3 day trip. He’s almost 10 years older than me and he really went out of his way to try and show how mature he was by planning everything when it came to hotels & rental cars because I had never really booked either on my own, he downright INSISTED, saying he “wanted to see me happy” saying over and over again how he loves doing these things for me and that it’s no trouble at all despite my thanking him many times. I paid him my half for everything, I paid for my room, my flight, I paid my half for the rental car, my food, a few times his. without even telling me the day before our trip he went and switched the days for our hotel & had to pay an extra hundred, which I had no idea about until we met up. We also had to switch rental car services because his card was declined, again, everything he said he was going to take care of. From the beginning he was very intense & almost hanging off of me, there were a few times where I had to physically move his hands off of me, even when I was driving. He hardly made any of his own conversation other than laughing at all of my jokes & staring at my chest. I was finding him a little boring & thirsty but I thought he was nice so I was still with it. He had a meltdown on our second date cause he left his luggage in our previous hotel, he became despondent and wouldn’t call the hotel and couldn’t understand the idea of having to drive back so I called them, drove roughly 60 miles total in a car that I wasn’t registered to, to try & deal with the situation. That entire day was squandered trying to cheer him up and motivate him to use the little time I had there productively. Next day I met up with a friend in Disneyland and he was barely present & apparently got angry that I took time away from him to text a friend of mine. I hadn’t been able to meet up with friends prior to that because he very much wanted that time with me so I gave it to him willingly, but it wasn’t enough for him. All in all he was very needy and self interested from the beginning & super possessive & my gut told me let’s just be friends, which he said he was cool with prior to the trip. Well he immediately deleted me, proceeded to write passive aggressive shit about me instead of just taking the L, & then I told him very plainly that I don’t wish to be friends either. I blocked/deleted him off everything but he proceeded to then text my phone & ultimately send me this seething email basically calling me poor, saying he went to law school so he had money to spend whereas I didn’t, & I was ungrateful for a $20 Mickey Mouse ring he bought me that I never asked for & he was mad that I didn’t pay him extra for his fuckups, lying and saying I didn’t pay for shit when I paid for sushi and he paid for my $6 inn-n-out burger. If you’re really so rich & well off cause you went to law school (but you’re not a lawyer) why are you sweating a $20 ring & a $100 cancellation fee? In the email he also shamed me for taking antidepressants saying I of all people should be sympathetic towards him. He claimed i couldn’t function without weed that he went out of his way to get from a friend for free entirely on his own, whom I even offered to give money for, but again he just “wanted to do something nice for me”, yet here clearly we see every “nice” thing had a cost because the minute you are not feeling it he will emotionally abuse you and manipulate every seemingly nice thing he did for you as a way for you to feel ungrateful and to villainize you. Well, since I shared this on Facebook multiple women have come forward citing similar stories of harassment and abuse, all when nothing romantic/sexual is wanting to be pursued. This is some deep emotionally abusive entitled shit & i’m not about to stay silent because he threatened me to. Fuck this asshole & the women he’s exhausted and berated over YEARS.PLEASE share this & If you’re in the Philly/Seattle/PDX area please do not engage with Nnamdi Ezeife (Nnamdi Bawsism on Facebook, “comethroughitslit” on Instagram, “constant-ringing” on Tumblr) he has been targeting plus size bloggers/models/performers and other women in the community & making it very unsafe and toxic & causing a lot of emotional distress all around.
martha deserves better and jenna deserves better and every single plus-sized character and performer on broadway deserves fucking better *insert clap emojis everywhere because i can't make them on my laptop*